Happiness Is a Trap幸福是個(gè)陷阱

We live in a world obsessed with happiness. Between chief happiness officers1， the Happy Planet Index2， Gross National Happiness， and the World Happiness Report， it seems as though happiness has some good PR. Throughout modern history， and with little contesting， happiness has been seen as the end goal and just reward for a life of laudable toil.

我們生活在一個(gè)執(zhí)著于幸福的世界。從“首席幸福官”“幸福星球指數(shù)”“國民幸?？傊怠焙汀度蛐腋Ｖ笖?shù)報(bào)告》中似乎可以看出，對“幸福”的宣傳頗為有效?？v觀現(xiàn)代史，對于值得贊美的辛勞生活，幸福一直被視為其最終目標(biāo)與合理回報(bào)，這一觀點(diǎn)幾乎沒有爭議。

Before the ancient Greek philosophers， happiness， like most things in life， was seen as a benefaction granted by the gods. It was the great iconoclast Socrates who became the first to suggest that happiness was a cognitive and meaning-making pursuit， something in a person’s control， rather than simply a gift bestowed by the gods. And now， the positive thinking movement， abundance theory and any other number of self-help genres see some form of happiness as the primary objective and something we can achieve if we just try hard enough.

在古希臘哲學(xué)家的時(shí)代之前，幸福和生活中的大多數(shù)事情一樣，被視為神賜恩惠。偉大的反偶像崇拜者蘇格拉底第一個(gè)提出，幸福是一種在認(rèn)知層面構(gòu)建意義的追求，是人可以控制的東西，而不僅僅是神賜的禮物。如今，積極思考運(yùn)動、富足理論等各種自助流派都將某種形式的幸福視為首要目標(biāo)，認(rèn)為只要我們足夠努力就能實(shí)現(xiàn)幸福。

It’s an unfortunate irony then that in a world fixated on happiness， people are so chronically unhappy. There are 280 million people with depression globally， according to the World Health Organization. It’s a further tragic irony that we are so bad at knowing what will make us happy. As humans， we “miswant” a lot of things that we have been conditioned to believe will make us happier than they actually do. How often have we felt a certain kind of deflation after that big purchase or much-anticipated night out when it didn’t live up to our expectations？

然而，既諷刺又令人遺憾的是，在執(zhí)著于幸福的世界里，人們卻長期處于不快樂的狀態(tài)。根據(jù)世界衛(wèi)生組織的統(tǒng)計(jì)，全球有2.8億人患有抑郁癥。更為可悲的是，我們根本不知道什么能讓我們幸福。我們?nèi)祟悺罢`以為自己想要”很多東西，習(xí)慣于相信這些東西會讓我們更幸福，但事實(shí)并非如此。我們有多少次因?yàn)榇蟛少徎驘崆衅诖囊股顩]有達(dá)到預(yù)期而在某種程度上感到失落？

Between self-help gurus， philosophers and marketers all telling us how to be happy， it’s easy to get confounded. How do we achieve happiness？ As captivating as it is， that question isn’t the right one. This one is： What if we’re so fixated on happiness that we’ve failed to question whether happiness is what we should be pursuing？ What if， after two millenniums of debating the relative benefits of varying types of happiness， we could focus on another， more enduring， more impactful emotional state that will bring us both happiness and more significant benefits？ Simply put， it feels like we are on a racetrack， chasing the wrong rabbit.

自助大師、哲學(xué)家和營銷人員都在告訴我們?nèi)绾潍@得幸福，我們很容易感到困惑。我們?nèi)绾潍@得幸福？這個(gè)問題雖然很吸引人，但問得不對。我們應(yīng)該問：是不是我們太執(zhí)著于幸福，而未曾考慮幸福是否值得追求？兩千年來，我們一直在思考不同類型的幸福有何相對優(yōu)勢，假如現(xiàn)在我們可以專注于另一種更持久、更有力的情感狀態(tài)，這種狀態(tài)既能給我們帶來幸福，也能帶來更重大的益處，情況會如何？簡而言之，執(zhí)著于幸福就像在賽馬場上追錯(cuò)了兔子。

Why not pursue wonder？ Each of us has experienced wonder. It’s as universal an emotion as happiness and fear. Still， we all too often seek the comfort of simple positive emotions such as happiness rather than sit in the discomfort of negative or mixed emotions， even though they contribute to more profound well-being.

為什么不追求驚奇呢？我們每個(gè)人都感受過驚奇，那是和快樂與恐懼一樣普遍的情感。盡管如此，我們還是經(jīng)常從簡單的積極情緒（如快樂）中尋求安慰，而不是沉浸在消極或復(fù)雜情緒的不快中，盡管后者有助于我們獲得更深刻的幸福。

We resist negative emotions such as sadness or fear at our peril. Psychologist and philosopher Kirk Schneider refers to happiness as “potential fool’s gold，” believing the “compulsion to think positively” （i.e.， toxic positivity） is equally as bad as the “compulsion to think negatively” and can actually block us from experiencing the “wonder-amazement of living.” Embracing negative emotions not only adds to the richness of our human experience， but negative emotions are also a way to broaden our emotional vocabulary， which helps us call up a greater variety of coping skills. In fact， research shows that people with higher emotional granularity， or emodiversity， use more positive coping mechanisms and recover more quickly from stress.

我們抵制悲傷或恐懼等負(fù)面情緒的做法反而對自己不利。心理學(xué)家、哲學(xué)家柯克·施奈德說幸福“可能是愚人的黃金”，他認(rèn)為“強(qiáng)迫積極思考”（即有毒的積極性）與“強(qiáng)迫消極思考”同樣有害，實(shí)際上會阻礙我們體驗(yàn)“生活的驚奇之處”。擁抱消極情緒不僅能豐富我們?nèi)祟惖捏w驗(yàn)，還是拓寬我們情感詞匯的一種方式，有助于我們調(diào)用更多種應(yīng)對技能。事實(shí)上，有研究表明情緒顆粒度（或稱情緒多樣性）更高的人會使用更多積極的應(yīng)對機(jī)制，并且能更快地從壓力中恢復(fù)過來。

Even better than embracing your negative emotions is embracing both positive and negative emotions at the same time. This powerful coping mechanism increases our sense of meaning and gratitude in the face of adversity. While emotions such as happiness are known as “positively valenced” and emotions such as sadness are “negatively valenced，” some emotions like bittersweetness， sympathy， nostalgia and wonder are mixed or “dually valenced” emotions.

比擁抱消極情緒更有益的是同時(shí)擁抱積極和消極的情緒。這種強(qiáng)大的應(yīng)對機(jī)制能增強(qiáng)我們在逆境中的意義感和感激之情?？鞓返惹榫w被稱為“正價(jià)情緒”，悲傷等情緒被稱為“負(fù)價(jià)情緒”，而苦樂參半、同情、懷舊和驚奇等情緒則屬于復(fù)雜或 “雙價(jià)情緒”。

Paradoxically， this tendency toward feeling just positive purely or negative emotions is further exacerbated when we are stressed， precisely when we could most benefit from the ameliorating effects of mixed emotions. Under stress， we lean on our mental shortcuts， defaulting to simple emotions such as “happy” or “sad” instead of embracing the multidimensionality of a complex emotion such as wonder. These types of complex emotions make us more resilient. In essence， by holding both positive and negative thoughts in our mind simultaneously， we can better metabolize traumatic experiences and make meaning of them.

自相矛盾的是，當(dāng)我們背負(fù)壓力時(shí)，這種只感受到純粹的積極情緒或消極情緒的傾向會進(jìn)一步加劇，但正是在這種時(shí)候，我們最能受益于復(fù)雜情緒的改善作用。處于壓力之下，我們會依賴心理捷徑，默認(rèn)選擇“快樂”或“悲傷”等純粹的情緒，而不是接受多維度的復(fù)雜情緒，比如“驚奇”。各種復(fù)雜情緒讓我們更有韌性。從本質(zhì)上講，通過在頭腦中同時(shí)保有積極和消極的想法，我們可以更好地代謝慘痛經(jīng)歷并使其具有意義。

Author Susan Cain， who wrote a bestselling book on the emotion of bittersweetness， described mixed emotions as being “some of the most sublime aspects of being human， and they happen to be connected to our appreciation of how fragile life can be， and the impermanence of life.”

作家蘇珊·凱恩曾寫過一本關(guān)于苦樂參半的暢銷書，她將復(fù)雜情緒描述為“人之為人最崇高的一些方面，恰好與我們領(lǐng)悟生命的脆弱及無常有關(guān)”。

I have experienced this dynamic myself. I vividly recall being a student in Miami， huddling under a mattress with my roommates for what was， at the time， the worst hurricane in history. It was impossible to be happy given the destruction， the loss. But part and parcel of my grief was my sense of wonder. Curious about how we would rebuild， in awe of the brutish impassivity of the storm but also in awe of the sacrifice of the first responders. And that sense of wonder granted me the resilience to heal and to hope.

我親身經(jīng)歷過這種狀態(tài)。我清楚地記得自己在邁阿密讀書期間，和室友們擠在床墊下躲避當(dāng)時(shí)史上最嚴(yán)重的颶風(fēng)?？紤]到颶風(fēng)造成的破壞和損失，我不可能感到快樂，但在我的悲痛中占有重要地位的是驚奇。我好奇我們將如何重建家園，也畏懼暴風(fēng)雨的殘酷無情，同時(shí)敬佩第一批救援人員的犧牲精神。那種驚奇之感賦予了我用于治愈創(chuàng)傷和期望未來的韌性。

And wonder doesn’t just bestow resilience. In fact， in side-by-side comparisons by researchers， wonder’s quantum benefits are greater than those of happiness. Wonder makes us more creative and more desirous of studying the world around us. It makes us humble， less materialistic， more generous and better community members. Wonder-prone people are more likely to perform better in school and work and build healthier relationships. A very prosocial emotional experience， wonder quite simply makes us want to be better， more tolerant people.

驚奇不僅能賦予人韌性。事實(shí)上，研究人員在并排比較中發(fā)現(xiàn)，驚奇比快樂帶來的益處要大得多。它讓我們更有創(chuàng)造力，更渴望研究周圍的世界。它讓我們?yōu)槿烁t遜、慷慨，讓我們物欲降低，成為更好的社區(qū)成員。驚奇感強(qiáng)的人更有可能在學(xué)習(xí)和工作中取得更好的成績，建立更健康的人際關(guān)系。驚奇是一種非常親社會的情感體驗(yàn)，讓我們想成為更友好、更寬容的人。

If those aren’t reasons enough to motivate us toward more wonder， the physiological benefits are particularly compelling. Researchers have found a link between people who experience wonder and lower blood pressure， lower stress hormones and decreased pro-inflammatory cytokines， the latter of which are the markers associated with a number of diseases， including cancer and cardiovascular disease. These links suggest a direct “biological pathway” between wonder and better health.

如果說上述理由還不足以激勵(lì)我們追求更多驚奇，那么生理上的益處更能令人信服。研究人員發(fā)現(xiàn)，體驗(yàn)驚奇與血壓降低、應(yīng)激激素水平降低和促炎細(xì)胞因子減少之間存在聯(lián)系，而促炎細(xì)胞因子是與癌癥和心血管疾病等多種疾病相關(guān)的標(biāo)志物。這些聯(lián)系表明，驚奇與健康之間存在直接的“生物學(xué)通路”。

The world， the people in it， and our experiences are not binary or easily defined. Two things can coexist in opposition to each other， and both can be true at the same time. Wonder embraces life’s beautiful， messy complexity in a way happiness doesn’t. It allows for nuance and depth. It allows for the reality of a simultaneously sucky and sublime existence. That uncomfortable balancing coexistence feels more true to me than a manufactured cajoling toward happiness.

這個(gè)世界、生活其中的我們以及我們的經(jīng)歷都不是二元對立的，也無法簡單定義。兩件事可以對立共存，也可以同時(shí)成立。驚奇擁抱生活美麗而混亂的復(fù)雜性，但快樂做不到。驚奇允許存在細(xì)微差別和深度，接受同時(shí)存在卑劣與崇高的現(xiàn)實(shí)。對我來說，這種令人不適的平衡共存比編造花言巧語哄騙人們追求幸福更真實(shí)。

（譯者單位：東南大學(xué)人文學(xué)院）

1人力資源領(lǐng)域的新興崗位，主要負(fù)責(zé)提升職場中的工作幸福感，維護(hù)員工的身心健康。" 2 2006年，英國智庫“新經(jīng)濟(jì)基金會”（New Economics Foundation）發(fā)布首個(gè)“幸福星球指數(shù)”，衡量各國在實(shí)現(xiàn)長壽、幸福和可持續(xù)的生活方面做得如何。