從“已知”到“未知”，讀后續(xù)寫的奇“想”世界

曾瑾

讀后續(xù)寫要求學(xué)生根據(jù)已知的故事發(fā)揮想象力，盡可能使用豐富的語言按照合理的方向續(xù)寫，使文章邏輯結(jié)構(gòu)完整。只要續(xù)寫得法，學(xué)生可以創(chuàng)造精彩、“未知”的續(xù)寫世界。

讀后續(xù)寫需要對(duì)原文有精確的理解，續(xù)寫部分才不至于偏離主題。評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)要求續(xù)寫內(nèi)容與所給短文融洽度高，內(nèi)容、語法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯豐富、準(zhǔn)確性高，也就是續(xù)寫部分與原文要盡量做到內(nèi)容、結(jié)構(gòu)和語言的協(xié)同。

一、抓住基本要素，理清故事脈絡(luò)

首先，解讀閱讀文本，關(guān)注文本的文體和文體特征，按照原文內(nèi)容、情節(jié)發(fā)展續(xù)寫文章，促進(jìn)內(nèi)容和情節(jié)的協(xié)同。續(xù)寫的文章多以記敘文故事類或者夾敘夾議類為主，故事線索的邏輯性比較強(qiáng)且故事情節(jié)曲折起伏，利用思維導(dǎo)圖厘清記敘文的六要素，即：時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、人物、事情的起因、經(jīng)過、結(jié)果。同時(shí)要注意時(shí)間、空間線索的描寫。也可以根據(jù)以下的故事情節(jié)圖對(duì)文章進(jìn)行詳盡的剖析（如圖一所示）。其次，通過理順故事情節(jié)與脈絡(luò)，歸納文章大意，并深入理解文章主題。下文以浙江省十校聯(lián)盟2019年10月高三聯(lián)考為例進(jìn)行續(xù)寫解讀（如表一所示）。

There was a thick forest on the sides of a mountain. Many kinds of animals lived in the forest. A deer was eating grass and leaves with her two young ones. The young ones wandered happily here and there. The deer followed her fawns（幼鹿）into a cave. The deer was frightened because it was a tigers cave. There were bones of dead animals all over the cave. Fortunately， the tiger was not inside the cave at the time. The deer was trying to lead her young ones out of the cave when she heard a loud roar. She saw the tiger at a distance coming towards the cave. It was dangerous to go out of the cave now. She thought of a plan. The deer raised her voice and shouted，“My deer young children do not weep. I shall capture（捕捉）a tiger for you to eat. You can have a good dinner.”

The tiger heard these words and became frightened. He thought，“Whose is that strange voice from the cave A dangerous animal is staying inside to capture me. I shall run away to escape death.”The tiger began to run away from there as fast as possible.

A jackal（胡狼）saw the running tiger.“Why are you running in great fear？”the jackal asked. The tiger said，“My friend， a powerful and fierce animal is in my cave. The young ones are crying for a tiger to eat. The mother is promising to capture a tiger for them. So， I am running away.”

The cunning jackal was now sure the tiger was a coward（懦夫）. It said，“Dont be afraid. No animal is fiercer or stronger than a tiger Let us go together to find out.”

But the tiger said，“I do not want to take a chance. You may run away. I will be left alone to die. So， I will not come with you.”

The jackal said，“Trust me. Let us knot（打結(jié)）our tails together. Then I will not be able to leave you.”The tiger agreed unwillingly to this proposal. So the jackal tied their tails in a knot. Now they walked towards the cave together.

Para. 1

The deer saw the jackal and the tiger coming together.

Para. 2

The tiger was shocked to hear this and he was sure now the jackal cheated him.

二、分析人物性格，明晰情節(jié)發(fā)展

研讀文本，分析文中人物的性格繼而推斷情節(jié)的發(fā)展。對(duì)人物性格的掌握有助于續(xù)寫中對(duì)人物準(zhǔn)確、生動(dòng)的描寫。從人物的動(dòng)作、言語中和他人的評(píng)價(jià)中來分析人物的性格特點(diǎn)。

“It was dangerous to go out of the cave now. She thought of a plan.”推斷出Mother deer很聰明和勇敢。

“The tiger heard these words and became frightened...tiger began to run away from there as fast as possible.”相比之下，老虎膽小怕事。

“The cunning jackal was now sure the tiger was a coward.”But the tiger said， “I do not want to take a chance. You may run away. I will be left alone to die. So， I will not come with you.”可見胡狼很狡猾，同時(shí)從老虎的言語中可知老虎不信任胡狼。這個(gè)推斷恰好和所給第二段段首“The tiger was shocked to hear this and he was sure now the jackal cheated him.”不謀而合。經(jīng)過人物性格分析，可以合理地預(yù)測(cè)情節(jié)的發(fā)展（如表二所示）。

三、賞析文本語言，習(xí)得文本表達(dá)

挖掘文本語言表達(dá)風(fēng)格，模仿原文語言寫句子。使續(xù)寫部分的語言風(fēng)格與原文的風(fēng)格相一致，以促進(jìn)語言協(xié)同。正如王初明教授所說的“內(nèi)容要?jiǎng)?chuàng)造，語言要模仿，創(chuàng)造與模仿要緊密結(jié)合?！崩纾篢he deer raised her voice and shouted， “My deer young children do not weep. I shall capture（捕捉）a tiger for you to eat. You can have a good dinner.”

模仿并續(xù)寫：

She shouted towards her children standing inside the cave，“My dear children， I requested my friend， the clever jackal， to capture a tiger for us.”

并且把好詞好句摘抄下來進(jìn)行分類整理作為積累材料（如表三所示）。

四、整體總結(jié)分析，確定續(xù)寫方向與框架

續(xù)寫不是隨心所欲、任意的發(fā)揮，而是研讀文本后根據(jù)所提供的兩段段首的內(nèi)容進(jìn)行創(chuàng)造續(xù)寫。人物性格和情節(jié)創(chuàng)設(shè)要與原文相吻合。段首對(duì)續(xù)寫起到一定的導(dǎo)向和限制作用。第一段續(xù)寫內(nèi)容可以根據(jù)已知情節(jié)和第二段段首句推斷第一段可能的情節(jié)發(fā)展。同時(shí)第一段的段尾又要和第二段段首緊密銜接（如圖二）。

同時(shí)，根據(jù)所給材料和兩段段首內(nèi)容，發(fā)散思維提出疑問，最后通過識(shí)別和分析每種故事續(xù)寫的合理性，依據(jù)自己的價(jià)值傾向最終確定續(xù)寫的結(jié)尾。（如表四所示）。

故事結(jié)尾不僅要使文章結(jié)局合理，而且要渲染、升華主題。最后，文末以“Presence of mind and intelligence can save one from dangerous situations.”升華主題。此外，根據(jù)生活常識(shí)、社會(huì)經(jīng)驗(yàn)和背景知識(shí)，合理地豐富故事情節(jié)和寫作細(xì)節(jié)。

參考范文

Para.1

The deer saw the jackal and the tiger coming together. She again raised her voice. She shouted towards her children standing inside the cave，“My dear children， I requested my friend， the clever jackal， to capture a tiger for us. Now look the jackal has captured a tiger for us. He has tied the tigers tail to his tail. This is to prevent the tiger from escaping. You will soon have the tiger for dinner.”

Para.2

The tiger was shocked to hear this and he was sure now the jackal cheated him. So， the tiger decided to escape from the terrible animal standing inside his cave. He started running. He forgot about the jackal. He dragged the jackal over rocks and thorns. In the mad escape the jackal was caught between two rocks. The tiger pulled with all his might. His tail got cut. The jackal was killed in this incident. The tail-less tiger ran away to another part of the forest. The deer and her young ones left the tigers cave. They joined their herd safely. Presence of mind and intelligence can save one from dangerous situations.

讀后續(xù)寫要做到創(chuàng)造性、邏輯性、豐富性的三者結(jié)合，學(xué)生需要地道的語言輸入，如閱讀文學(xué)原著，培養(yǎng)語感和文學(xué)修養(yǎng);平時(shí)要積累記敘文、故事方面的詞匯、句型和語段。在訓(xùn)練語言微技能時(shí)，要重視細(xì)節(jié)描寫，打造鮮活靈動(dòng)的人物形象和豐富充實(shí)的情節(jié)鏈條。以動(dòng)作描寫、語言描寫和心理描寫為主，輔之以恰當(dāng)?shù)耐饷裁鑼懞铜h(huán)境描寫。緊扣主題、理清思路，謀篇布局，環(huán)環(huán)相扣，最終達(dá)到語言理解與產(chǎn)出相結(jié)合。

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青