通過(guò)研讀英文報(bào)刊語(yǔ)句提升英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作表達(dá)

王姍姍

摘 要：筆者是一名高中英語(yǔ)教師，多年來(lái)在指導(dǎo)學(xué)生高考英語(yǔ)作文學(xué)習(xí)的過(guò)程中，通過(guò)批改大量作文，發(fā)現(xiàn)學(xué)生在追求復(fù)雜句式的同時(shí)犧牲了文章內(nèi)容的“密度”，使得整篇文章顯得華而不實(shí)，空洞無(wú)物。本文通過(guò)分析報(bào)刊中的專業(yè)話語(yǔ)（specializeddiscourse）表達(dá)簡(jiǎn)潔等特性，探索了以研讀英文報(bào)刊語(yǔ)句提升英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作表達(dá)為目標(biāo)的，具有實(shí)操性的復(fù)合句修改的設(shè)計(jì)實(shí)踐，希望通過(guò)這種實(shí)踐跟更多的老師就提升高考英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作表達(dá)進(jìn)行交流。

關(guān)鍵字：高考英語(yǔ)書(shū)面表達(dá);報(bào)刊;簡(jiǎn)潔語(yǔ)句;文章密度

引言：包括黑龍江在內(nèi)的很多省份英語(yǔ)高考書(shū)面表達(dá)體裁是應(yīng)用文，以書(shū)信，郵件為主。書(shū)信包括邀請(qǐng)信，申請(qǐng)信，推薦信，感謝信，求職信等。篇幅在100-120之間。在此篇幅中要求考生使用一定的句型，詞匯，清楚，連貫的表達(dá)自己的意思。（注解：一定的句型，詞匯包含適當(dāng)使用復(fù)雜句式，高級(jí)詞匯，準(zhǔn)確使用過(guò)渡語(yǔ)。）然而考生對(duì)于使用復(fù)雜句式的理解過(guò)于片面——認(rèn)為從句多，尤其是定語(yǔ)從句的大量使用就是衡量?jī)?yōu)秀作文的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，導(dǎo)致文章松散口語(yǔ)化，文章的密度density小。對(duì)于這一現(xiàn)象，筆者利用報(bào)刊這一專業(yè)話語(yǔ)載體來(lái)引導(dǎo)學(xué)生賞析報(bào)刊中話語(yǔ)句法特征，如表達(dá)的簡(jiǎn)潔性（expressive conciseness）前置修飾（premodification）; 詞匯密度（lexical density），以求從句式方面提升英語(yǔ)書(shū)面表達(dá)的能力。

一、通過(guò)研讀英文報(bào)刊語(yǔ)句提升英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作表達(dá)

以下面從報(bào)刊中選擇的句子為例，①②句通過(guò)分詞替換定語(yǔ)從句③④⑤⑥通過(guò)前置修飾語(yǔ)替換定語(yǔ)從句實(shí)現(xiàn)句子的簡(jiǎn)潔性，并最終提高文章的“密度”。

①After all， it’s difficult not to enjoy the bond with pets as well as the pleasure and challenge brought by a furry friend. （=which is brought by a furry friend.）

②The words， to some extent， mirror the heightened （增強(qiáng)的） public awareness of damage caused by climate change. （=caused by climate change. ）

③It’s an inevitable evolution（=It’s an evolution which can not be avoided or prevented）of the world， having a new generation of young people declaring their identity and living a lifestyle through street culture.”

④After 10 years of reading and watching the growing effects of human-caused climate change（climate change which is caused by humans）and other environmental disasters， it’s easy to feel hopeless.

⑤Your article about the benefitsof newly createdfake rhinohorn（=Your article about the benefits of the fake rhino horn which is newly created ） did not address the challengesand risks （“Fooled you”，November 16th）.

⑥The chemical reaction inside the orange caused the electrons （電子） to move from the zinc to the copper， and thus to make electricity（=which make electricity）.

以下是某重點(diǎn)中學(xué)學(xué)生在高三上學(xué)期的推薦信作文練習(xí)中的樣本，以及根據(jù)報(bào)刊句式的特點(diǎn)修改后的版本：

Student A’s possible version

To begin with， I ‘d like to recommend you a film， whose name is Monkey King ： Hero is Back， which is based on classic Chinese fairy tales. I have some reasons for the recommendation. On one hand， it shows Chinese culture. On the other hand， after you watch it， you maybe can’t help longing to become a superhero，which may help you make more friends with common interest.

Improvedversion

To begin with， I‘d like to recommend you a film， Monkey King ： Hero is Back， based on classic Chinese fairy tales. I have some reasons for the recommendation. On one hand， it shows Chinese culture. On the other hand， after watching it， you definitely long to become a superhero surrounded by more friends with common interest.

Student B’s possible version

Firstly， it’s an exciting moviewhich is filled with suspect and dangerand the most important thing——a father’s love... Apart from both of the above， the character of the hero in the movie is complex， a man who is a successful and shrewd businessman and a father. His daughter is accused of killing someone.

Improvedversion

Firstly， it’s a cliffhanger-filled movieand the most important thing—it describesa father’s love... Apart from both of the above， thehero in the movie is a successful and shrewd businessman， and a father， whose daughter is accused of killing someone，thus making the plot complex.

通過(guò)對(duì)定語(yǔ)從句的替換，修改后的文章在內(nèi)容上和結(jié)構(gòu)是都更加的緊湊，使得文章密度得以提高。

二、結(jié)語(yǔ)

通過(guò)研讀英文報(bào)刊語(yǔ)句對(duì)提升學(xué)生英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作表達(dá)確實(shí)有幫助，但是教學(xué)實(shí)踐才剛剛開(kāi)始，還需要不斷的思考和探索。在今后的教學(xué)中，教師要引導(dǎo)學(xué)生多渠道的挖掘提升寫(xiě)作能力的材料及方法，并逐漸培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的自主學(xué)習(xí)能力，為終身學(xué)習(xí)打下良好的基礎(chǔ)，真正成為學(xué)習(xí)的主人。

參考文獻(xiàn)

[1]M. Gotti， Investigating Specialized Discourse （3rd edn.， Peter Lang， Bern 2011） 213.

[2]N. 21st Century Teens Senior 2019