論中美禮儀文化中告別語的差異

摘要：禮儀是在人際交往中，以一定的、約定俗成的程序方式來表現(xiàn)的律己敬人的過程。邀請語和告別語是社交禮儀文化當中最主要的兩種禮儀。由于中美兩國受不語境文化和價值取向的影響，兩國人民在日常交際中的邀請語和告別語中存在著諸多差異。為了盡可能地避免兩國交流中的文化沖突，了解這些差異尤為必要。

關鍵詞：禮儀文化；邀請語；告別語；差異；原因；語境；中國；美國

作者簡介：王靜（1988-），女，安徽合肥人，合肥工業(yè)大學外國語言學院碩士研究生，研究方向：外語語言學及應用語言學。

[中圖分類號]：H31[文獻標識碼]：A

[文章編號]：1002-2139(2012)-11-0124-02

1、Introduction

Etiquette is the process and means to show respect to each other in interpersonal relationship by certain， common procedures. The Etiquette can be said to be a person’s external appearance of inward cultivation and quality. Inviting and leave-taking are the two main etiquette in social etiquette culture. Owing to the different value orientations between the two countries， Chinese and Americans vary greatly in giving invitings and leave-takings in daily communication. In order to avoid the cultural confilction as much as possible， it’s neccessay for both Chinese and Americans to aware the difference clearly.

2、Comparison of Chinese and American ways of Inviting and Leave-Taking in the Etiquette Culture

A、Differences in Inviting

Inviting in American can be devided into two kinds: one is real inviting and the other is unreal inviting. A real invting should be very sincere in American culture. It is an agreement between the host and the invitee because both sides should be available so that they could arrange their schedule properly. So an inviting should be decided by both sides that will make sure about the time， place and event. The invitees really mean to call first to make sure the time is convenient and they should not be late. When the invitee receives an invitation， he should say thanks to the host. If the invitee is not available to visit or arrive on time or can’t go to the appointment due to an emergency， it is polite and necessary to explain and apologize to the host. It is also quite common， however， that an American give the sentences which seem like the inviting. For instance， “We can have a dinner some time. I will call you.”， or “Let’s get together some time.” Those sentences are actually not a real inviting.

In China， it is not necessary to make an appointment before a visit. Chinese can be invited anytime and can visit their friends anytime. If someone is invited， it’s a kind of honor. Therefore， the time of a visit is determined by the host. When a inviting is giving to a Chinese， it is common to get no certain response such as “Yes， let’s talk about later.” or “Ok， I’ll try to cone.” Those uncertain responses will make Americans feel confused. While in Eastern culture the conversation between the host and the invitee is often full of formula which is a fixed way to show respect.

B、Differences in Leave-taking

Leave taking is also filled with the fixed sentences. Chinese express respect and concerns in leave taking while Americans stress more on appreciation and wishes. The differences of leave taking between China and America can be shown in three aspects as follows.

First， Chinese people would like to express thanks in leave taking and Chinese way of expressing thanks is to lower himself/herself and higher others. It is a symbol of politeness and modesty， such as “Thank you for your advice today and I have learned much from you today.” In America， people prefer to say something about the contact so as to show great pleasure of the meeting， such as “Nice talking to you!” etc.

Secondly， Chinese people usually feel guilty for taking up the host’s time. So they always excuse themselves for bothering the host like “Since you are so busy， I won’t spend your time now. Make your business.” Americans apologize for leaving for that they have their own business to do so they have to leave right now.

Third， Chinese usually see friends as their own relatives and they often remind the leaving visitors many times “Be careful on the road!”， “Take care!”. While in America， people pay more attention to respect the individual and “Goodbye” is the frequently used wish language in leave taking. In addition， both Chinese and Americans will express the desire of the next meeting. But the meaning is totally different. As for Chinese people，it’s just a way to show politeness and respect and what they say is just the cliché. It cannot be treated seriously. The hearers may just express their thanks for the inviting.

3、Main Cause of the Differences in Inviting and Leace-taking

Lenell Davis had put it in her book Doing Culture: Cross-cultural Communication in Action that “The difference between high and low-context communication is one of the the major sources of confusion， frustration and misunderstanding in cross-cultural communication.” According to Lenell’s view， context in communication contains high context and low context. High-context communication brings people together. Low-context communication is more impersonal. The difference in context leads to two completely different value orientations in Chinese and Americans—Collectivism and Individualism.

Chinese people， as high-context communicators， believe that one should immerse into the whole society to exist. China’s strong emphasis on the group， cooperation and coordination， in the process of social development， has built up their group-oriented value. Therefore， in China， collectivism is more important， so team-work is advocated. Harmony is much more important. That’s why Chinese people like to be modest. Being modest means great respect to others in China rather than showing individual achievement.

Americans， as low-context communicators， take everyone’s privacy very seriously. They are confident and worship individual struggle. Americans respect individualism so they yearn for freedom and are not willing to get restriction. The unique experience of American history has determined the formation of their concept of individualism， the basis of American ideology.

4、Inspirations for Communication Between Chinese and Americans

A、Respecting the Etiquette Culture Each Other

Getting to know oneself is crucial to improve intercultural communication， though the idea of knowing oneself is common. One should begin with the analysis of his/her own culture Culture is not of birth; It is learned through communication and helps control communication. If people tend to show their patience and calmness but appear rushed and anxious， then they will have a hard time understanding why others respond to them as they do. Through knowing oneself and others， both Chinese people and Americans can avoid most of the embarrassed situations and understand each other without obstacles.

B、Seeking Common Points While Reserving the Differences

It is an important aspect to be flexible and adaptable in each communication situation. Adaptability requires the ability to adjust oneself to cultural differences as well as a new culture. To develop this ability， you need to learn how to respond to new conditions， people， and situations. In order to reach the level of good mutual understanding， efforts should be made to identify these cultural differences and make necessary adjustments in personalized communication style.

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