高中英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)常見(jiàn)問(wèn)題及對(duì)策

一、引言

隨著教育改革的推進(jìn)，高中英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)逐漸成為提升學(xué)生閱讀理解和寫(xiě)作能力的重要手段，是高中英語(yǔ)考查的一項(xiàng)重要內(nèi)容，旨在通過(guò)閱讀理解文本并續(xù)寫(xiě)內(nèi)容，培養(yǎng)學(xué)生的語(yǔ)言運(yùn)用能力和創(chuàng)新思維。然而，在實(shí)際教學(xué)中，筆者發(fā)現(xiàn)考生在續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)，常常會(huì)出現(xiàn)結(jié)尾不當(dāng)、銜接不當(dāng)、語(yǔ)言表達(dá)欠精準(zhǔn)、情感刻畫(huà)不夠深入等問(wèn)題，走入了某些誤區(qū)，導(dǎo)致讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)學(xué)習(xí)效果不佳。因此，本文將結(jié)合平常的教學(xué)實(shí)踐，針對(duì)以上幾個(gè)問(wèn)題進(jìn)行探討，并提出相應(yīng)的解決策略，以幫助提高考生讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)的寫(xiě)作能力。

二、高中英語(yǔ)讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)常見(jiàn)問(wèn)題

1.結(jié)尾不當(dāng)

在續(xù)寫(xiě)過(guò)程中，考生往往因時(shí)間不足，對(duì)原文大多只是匆匆看幾眼，便就開(kāi)始構(gòu)思續(xù)寫(xiě)。 對(duì)原文內(nèi)容囫圇吞棗，一知半解，錯(cuò)過(guò)了原文的關(guān)鍵信息和伏筆，未能準(zhǔn)確把握文章的主題。有時(shí)則因?yàn)槲闹心尘湓捇蜃约旱纳罱?jīng)驗(yàn)，主觀臆斷，妄加揣測(cè)，曲解了文章的主題思想，導(dǎo)致結(jié)尾部分與文章整體主題偏離。

2.銜接不當(dāng)

銜接語(yǔ)段是指在文章中起到連接作用的語(yǔ)言，可以讓讀者更好地理解上下文之間的聯(lián)系，增強(qiáng)文章的整體連貫性和流暢性。讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)的銜接主要包括：續(xù)寫(xiě)內(nèi)容要與全文內(nèi)容銜接、連貫自然；續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段最后一句與第二段第一句的自然銜接?？忌暯訂?wèn)題往往出現(xiàn)在續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段最后一句與第二段第一句之間，導(dǎo)致情節(jié)斷裂或邏輯不清。

3.語(yǔ)言表達(dá)欠精準(zhǔn)

考生在寫(xiě)作中的存在語(yǔ)言表達(dá)不準(zhǔn)確的現(xiàn)象，如單詞拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤、詞性錯(cuò)用、使用中式思維句子、 句子結(jié)構(gòu)混亂等。此外，還表現(xiàn)在用詞不夠精確，表達(dá)含糊和句式單一等方面，因而影響文章的表達(dá)效果和可讀性。

4.情感刻畫(huà)不夠深入

對(duì)于人物情感描寫(xiě)，考生往往傾向于直接抒情，形式單一，一步到位，沒(méi)有體現(xiàn)出層次變化，沒(méi)有過(guò)渡或?qū)Ρ群鸵r托，因而未能精準(zhǔn)傳遞原文作者想要賦予的人物情感或想要刻畫(huà)的人物形象，致使故事未能達(dá)到預(yù)設(shè)的情感深度和感染力。

三、對(duì)策

1.明確主題

在續(xù)寫(xiě)前，考生應(yīng)認(rèn)真閱讀原文，借助文章的標(biāo)題、每段的首句以及多次重復(fù)出現(xiàn)的語(yǔ)句等，去理清故事的中心思想和寓意，抓住作者的寫(xiě)作意圖，即弄清作者想借助這個(gè)故事向讀者傳遞什么樣的思想情感或揭示什么樣的人生哲理。在續(xù)寫(xiě)的過(guò)程中始終圍繞著文章主題進(jìn)行思考和創(chuàng)作，確保結(jié)尾部分與文章整體主題一致。如：

［例1］原文講述了“ 作者的未成年的兒子抱怨作者不讓他晚上外出，不滿嚴(yán)格管教的兒子在夜里偷偷把家里收留的流浪貓放了出去，貓差點(diǎn)被凍死…”的故事。原文部分關(guān)鍵語(yǔ)句如下：

My teenage son， Jordan， always complained about having to be home earlier than all his friends. He would tell me that he was already seventeen， but still had a curfew （宵禁）. He believed he was practically an adult. I pointed out that he was not an adult as he was still in high school.

“You dont trust me！” he yelled. …. How could I make Jordan see that I only wanted to keep him safe？

… I opened the front door and nearly stepped on her： a small black cat， just like a meatball. …Meatball seemed happy enough to come in the house， but after an hour or two， she sat by the door， meowing to go back outside.

“Why wont she just stay in with us all the time？” Nathan， my youngest son asked.

I explained to him that she was happy here but she liked being able to come and go as she pleased. …

Meatball became a regular. One night， temperatures were unusually low. Meatball stood at the door， meowing to go outside.

I shook my head at her， afraid that she might freeze to death. She stared at me and meowed again. I patted her head， “I know youre not happy， but its for your own good.”

“Moms not being mean to you，” Nathan told the cat. “Shes just trying to keep you from turning into a frozen meatball.”…

P1.The next morning， I couldnt find Meatball. I asked the kids if anyone had seen her.

P2. As I drove to the animal hospital， Jordan sat in the back， holding Meatball inside his coat.

從原文幾個(gè)關(guān)鍵信息句（劃線部分）和續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段的首句——兒子把凍傷的貓一直抱在自己的外套里，生怕它死去，可知兒子在為他之前的行為感到懊悔，可以推斷出整個(gè)故事的走向和結(jié)局是“兒子通過(guò)貓差點(diǎn)被凍死這件事，明白作者不讓他出去是為了他的安全著想這一道理。故事的主題很明確，作者想向讀者傳達(dá)“父母對(duì)孩子的嚴(yán)格管教都是為了孩子好，孩子應(yīng)當(dāng)理解父母管教的用心良苦和予以配合”這一道理。

但部分考生只憑文章中“I explained to him that she was happy here but she liked being able to come and go as she pleased.” 這句話以及自己的主觀臆斷，判定媽媽都會(huì)包容孩子的錯(cuò)誤，所以續(xù)寫(xiě)部分的結(jié)尾變成了“兒子向媽媽認(rèn)錯(cuò)后，媽媽原諒了兒子，最終媽媽做出了讓步，決定放寬對(duì)兒子的管教?！泵黠@偏離了原文的主題。

問(wèn)題示例：

As I drove to the animal hospital， Jordan sat in the back， holding Meatball inside his coat. I worried about Meatballs condition. We two kept silent until， surprisingly， Jordan took the first step and apologized to me for what he had done to Meatball and me. He said that he would keep the rule and wouldnt go out at night alone. Listening to what he said， I suddenly realized that I might be wrong. I was too strict with him. He was also an independent individual， and he had the rights to get his freedom， so I promised I would soften the rule for him. After all， a child must grow up， and we parents could not be his harbor for ever.

正確示例：

As I drove to the animal hospital， Jordan sat in the back， holding Meatball inside his coat. I could hear him talking to the cat， apologizing repeatedly. Luckily， the vet saved Meatball. Seeing her eyes open， Jordan stroked her head， all tears. Then， surprisingly， he turned to me. He apologized for what he had done. “I know you just want to keep me safe，” he murmured. I felt a lump in my throat. He rubbed Meatballs back， “Looks like we are both going to observe the curfew. Its for our own good.”

2.理清情節(jié)

考生應(yīng)仔細(xì)閱讀原文，理解故事背景、情節(jié)發(fā)展、人物性格以及主題思想。注意原文中的細(xì)節(jié)及線索，思考原文的伏筆和暗示，為續(xù)寫(xiě)內(nèi)容提供合理的邏輯依據(jù)，以保持與原文情節(jié)緊密相連，銜接自然合理。理清文章的主線后，劃出續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段首句關(guān)鍵詞，運(yùn)用逆向思維推斷續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段的情節(jié)及本段最后一句的內(nèi)容，使之與第二段首句自然銜接。如：

［例2］原文講述了“ 作者的未成年的兒子抱怨作者不讓他晚上外出，不滿嚴(yán)格管教的兒子在夜里偷偷把家里的收留的流浪貓放了出去，貓差點(diǎn)被凍死…”的故事。原文給定的兩段續(xù)寫(xiě)首句分別為：P1.The next morning， I couldnt find Meatball. I asked the kids if anyone had seen her.

P2. As I drove to the animal hospital， Jordan sat in the back， holding Meatball inside his coat.

續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段首句提到的“As I drove to the animal hospital， Jordan sat in the back， holding Meatball inside his coat. ”，運(yùn)用逆向思維可以推斷：P1 的續(xù)寫(xiě)內(nèi)容應(yīng)當(dāng)包括“去找貓—發(fā)現(xiàn)貓—發(fā)現(xiàn)貓狀態(tài)不對(duì)——需要把貓送到醫(yī)院救治”。同時(shí)由于P2首句已經(jīng)提到 “作者驅(qū)車(chē)去醫(yī)院的路上，兒子Jordan抱著小貓坐在車(chē)后座”， 所以，續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段末句不應(yīng)該寫(xiě)到“貓已經(jīng)在醫(yī)院救治”或“貓已經(jīng)死了”這樣的情節(jié)。

問(wèn)題示例：P1…I searched every corner round like crazy for Meatballs trace， but she was nowhere to be found. I was about to give up when my phone rang. It was Jordan. He rang to tell that he had found Meatball and ask me to go to the hospital to help.

正確示例：P1….Several minutes later， the poor thing was found， shaking and curling into a tiny ball. I picked her up， unsure whether she was alive or dead. Jordan was scared， “We need a vet！ Now！” 或We then rushed Meatball towards the nearest animal hospital.

3. 模仿創(chuàng)作

考生平時(shí)應(yīng)多積累“名場(chǎng)面”描寫(xiě)的豐富語(yǔ)言，并根據(jù)給定場(chǎng)景及提示進(jìn)行片段的微寫(xiě)作訓(xùn)練。同時(shí)，在平常的作文評(píng)講及訓(xùn)練課上，還可以根據(jù)老師提供的示例，積極模仿，并對(duì)自己的文章進(jìn)行二次創(chuàng)作。例如，老師挑選出某個(gè)精彩的場(chǎng)景或片段描寫(xiě)，考生找出其中所使用的豐富表達(dá)形式，如分詞作狀語(yǔ)、with 復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)、倒裝句、省略句、各類(lèi)從句、無(wú)靈主語(yǔ)句以及其它固定句式等，并模仿著去修改潤(rùn)色自己的文章，以小組合作的形式開(kāi)展效果更佳。

［例3］場(chǎng)景微寫(xiě)作訓(xùn)練

提示： 第一次登臺(tái)比賽，緊張，但自我調(diào)整后，逐漸進(jìn)入狀態(tài)，努力付出得到回報(bào)和肯定，因而倍受鼓舞。

開(kāi)頭：When it was finally my turn， I could feel my heart pounding fiercely inside.

續(xù)寫(xiě)：Though I had been practicing hard for the competition， I was not yet mentally-prepared. To ease my fear， I took a deep breath， and then all of a sudden， Miss Smiths encouraging voice came into my mind. I began to focus on my breath， move and pace. As I finished the last move， thunderous applause and cheers burst out from the audience. The moment I bowed to the audience， I couldnt contain my tears any more.Looking back， countless days and nights had witnessed my unremitting efforts， and they finally paid off. And that would be an everlasting source of inspiration to push me ahead.

［例4］二次創(chuàng)作訓(xùn)練

原文講述了“女孩家里很窮，爸爸生病，媽媽一直吃苦耐勞，盡最大能力保證一家老小的生活。快過(guò)年了，女孩本打算用自己平常偷偷做兼職所掙的錢(qián)給自己買(mǎi)一雙皮手套，最后卻改變了主意…”的故事。原文給出的兩段首句分別為： P1. The bus drove off without me. 和 P2.When Mum opened the door， she surprisingly found that some of the groceries fell inside onto the floor. 明顯，第一段應(yīng)該寫(xiě)我放棄買(mǎi)手套，為家里購(gòu)置年貨的心理活動(dòng)和過(guò)程。

場(chǎng)景1：車(chē)開(kāi)走后，我決定放棄手套，轉(zhuǎn)而準(zhǔn)備為家里購(gòu)置年貨。

初次習(xí)作：The bus drove off without me. I decided to go to the nearby grocery store to buy the things my family needed for the coming New Year.

模仿后創(chuàng)作：The bus drove off without me. Seeing the black smoke left behind， I felt a strong sense of relief， as gone with the bus was also my desire to buy myself a pair of gloves. Minutes later， I found myself in a grocery story just across the stop. （本句共用了3種高級(jí)句式：分詞做狀語(yǔ)； 倒裝句 和“find+sb.+賓補(bǔ)”表達(dá)“不知不覺(jué)地，下意識(shí)地”之意。）

場(chǎng)景2：我為家里買(mǎi)年貨的過(guò)程和心理活動(dòng)。

初次習(xí)作：I directly went into the nearby store. In the store I chose some lights， decorations and food for the New Year rather than a pair of gloves for myself. After that， I eagerly headed towards home.

模仿后創(chuàng)作：I directly went into the nearby store. Looking at all that various kinds of items on the shelves， I was， for a few seconds， at a loss what to buy with such limited money. But soon I knew very clearly that I should first get some food and goodies for the New Year dinner and then get some lights and decorations， if possible， for the festive atmosphere. When I spent the last penny of my hard-earned dollars， a great sense of pride welled up inside me. I just couldnt stop imaging how happy my mom would be when she saw all these. （本句共用了4種高級(jí)句式： 分詞做狀語(yǔ)； “特殊疑問(wèn)詞+to do”作賓語(yǔ)；省略句 和“couldnt stop doing” 表達(dá)“情不自禁”之意。）

場(chǎng)景3：我把年貨帶回家，放到門(mén)口。

初次習(xí)作： Soon I stopped outside my home. With hands full of groceries， I gently knocked at the door.

模仿后創(chuàng)作：Soon I stopped outside my home. To give mom a surprise I put/placed the groceries against the door， knocked at it and quickly "hid myself away. （本句使用動(dòng)作鏈，畫(huà)面感更強(qiáng)。）

4.多維度描寫(xiě)

考生除了要關(guān)注原文與情感相關(guān)的形容詞、副詞、名詞、動(dòng)詞和介詞短語(yǔ)外，還要運(yùn)用“To show， not to tell ”的方法，即通過(guò)多個(gè)維度觀察，如人物的面部表情、肢體動(dòng)作、心理活動(dòng) 、人物語(yǔ)言、聲音、周?chē)h(huán)境等體會(huì)和描繪出原文作者想要賦予的人物情感。哭喪或微笑的臉、堅(jiān)定的眼神等傳達(dá)了人物的喜怒哀懼；歡快的場(chǎng)景表現(xiàn)出人物愉悅的心情；壓抑寒冷的天氣描寫(xiě)則襯托了人物的悲傷。增加具體、生動(dòng)的細(xì)節(jié)，從側(cè)面反映出人物情感和個(gè)性，而非空洞或籠統(tǒng)的敘述。

同時(shí)，故事人物情感變化和發(fā)展應(yīng)遵守循序漸進(jìn)的規(guī)律，要體現(xiàn)出深淺變化的層次，同一種感情會(huì)因?yàn)椴煌恼T因而有不同的表露形式和強(qiáng)度，在描寫(xiě)的時(shí)候都應(yīng)該有所區(qū)別。這樣才能使得人物情感更加豐富細(xì)膩，精準(zhǔn)到位，人物性格更加鮮明突出，因而更能給讀者帶來(lái)沉浸式的閱讀體驗(yàn)。

［例5］

（1）He is a happy man. 他是一個(gè)快樂(lè)的人。

（2）He is always wearing a bright smile. Whenever it is and wherever he is， with his great sense of humor and enthusiasm， he never fails to have "giggles lingering around. 他的臉上總是洋溢著笑容，無(wú)論何時(shí)何地，他都能用他的幽默和樂(lè)觀讓周?chē)娜诵β暡粩唷?/p>

（通過(guò)展示“面部表情”——“臉上總是洋溢著笑容”和“聲音”——“周?chē)β暡粩唷钡燃?xì)節(jié)，讀者能夠更直接地感受到這個(gè)人物的快樂(lè)性格，這比簡(jiǎn)單的陳述要生動(dòng)得多。）

［例6］

（1）Tom was very angry. 湯姆很生氣。

（2）“Toms face was flushed with anger as he "glared at the broken toy on the floor. ‘How could you do this？’he shouted angrily， pointing at his younger brother. ‘You know how much this means to me！’ His" fists were clenched tightly， and his voice was filled with indignation and dissatisfaction.”湯姆怒視著地上的破玩具，氣得臉都紅了?！澳阍趺茨苓@么做？”他指著弟弟生氣地喊道?！澳阒肋@對(duì)我有多重要！”他的拳頭攥得緊緊的，聲音里充滿了憤慨和不滿。

（通過(guò)展示“肢體動(dòng)作”—— “glare at， shout，point at， clench fists ”及語(yǔ)言 使得人物情緒躍然于紙上。）

［例7］

（1）Brandon was very sad. 布蘭登很傷心

（2）The dimly lit room， with its quiet and mournful atmosphere， deepened Brandons sorrow.

燈光昏暗的房間，安靜而悲傷的氣氛，加深了布蘭登的悲傷。

（通過(guò)展示“周?chē)h(huán)境和氛圍”——“燈光昏暗的房間，安靜而悲傷的氣氛”直觀地烘托出人物的情緒狀態(tài)。）

［例8］上臺(tái)做演講時(shí)的緊張

When it was finally my turn， I summoned up my courage and stumped toward the stage.The moment I managed onto the stage， I couldnt help looking at the crowd. With so many eyes fixed on me， I got even more nervous. I cleared my voice and tried to begin the speech， but only to find my mind went blank and nothing came out of my throat.

［例9］一個(gè)人獨(dú)自在野外走夜路，突然聽(tīng)見(jiàn)一陣哭聲時(shí)的緊張

Holding his breath， Tom could feel his heart beating wildly.He couldnt help clutching his fists as if to defend.Gathering his courage， he took one more step forward. To his relief， the cry disappeared.Tom looked around and found nobody， but his own shadow cast on the thick woods， with his sweating palms and forehead. （緊張中伴隨著害怕，所以強(qiáng)度更高。）

四、結(jié)語(yǔ)

總之，針對(duì)以上讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)中出現(xiàn)的問(wèn)題，考生應(yīng)當(dāng)細(xì)讀原文，明確主題，理清情節(jié)，平常要多積累，勤模仿，勇創(chuàng)新。只要我們采取有效的對(duì)策，并持之以恒，定能克服這些困境和挑戰(zhàn)，那么提高讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)的寫(xiě)作水平便指日可待。

【本文系“中小學(xué)英語(yǔ)教學(xué)研究專項(xiàng)課題：基于深度閱讀的高中英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作任務(wù)活動(dòng)的設(shè)計(jì)與實(shí)施研究（批準(zhǔn)號(hào)：GDJY-2022-A-yyb84）以及廣東省教育科學(xué)研究項(xiàng)目重點(diǎn)課題：高中英語(yǔ)閱讀教學(xué)中學(xué)科能力培養(yǎng)的行動(dòng)研究（批準(zhǔn)號(hào)：2023ZQJK119）”系列研究成果】

【作者簡(jiǎn)介：中學(xué)一級(jí)教師，工作期間多次獲得優(yōu)秀班主任，教學(xué)積極分子，教研教改積極分子，年度優(yōu)秀工作者等榮譽(yù)稱號(hào)；參加廣東省新課程與信息技術(shù)整合優(yōu)秀主題資源、教學(xué)設(shè)計(jì)及錄像課例評(píng)選活動(dòng)榮獲二等獎(jiǎng)；參與教育部基礎(chǔ)教育課程教材發(fā)展中心“基礎(chǔ)教育高中英語(yǔ)教學(xué)評(píng)價(jià)試驗(yàn)項(xiàng)目”的研究與試驗(yàn)工作；撰寫(xiě)的課題論文《英語(yǔ)閱讀課堂評(píng)價(jià)的剖析與反思》獲課題優(yōu)秀學(xué)術(shù)研究成果評(píng)選三等獎(jiǎng)；《學(xué)生相互評(píng)價(jià)在高中英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作教學(xué)中的運(yùn)用》獲課題優(yōu)秀學(xué)術(shù)研究成果評(píng)選一等獎(jiǎng)】

責(zé)任編輯 吳昊雷