王嫚嫚
在讀后續(xù)寫中恰當(dāng)使用直接引語可直觀明了地體現(xiàn)出說話人的語氣、態(tài)度、心理狀態(tài)等等,是常用的寫作手法之一。但使用不當(dāng),則很容易踩雷。本文以2017年高考浙江卷的讀后續(xù)寫為例,和大家談?wù)勅绾伪荛_直接引語之雷區(qū)。
文章梗概:Mac和兩個朋友一同騎行去Alaska,?半路上朋友的車子壞了,讓Mac先走。于是Mac暫時獨自上路,途中遭遇惡狼窮追不舍。關(guān)鍵時刻,開車途徑此地的Paul和Becky停下了車子……
雷區(qū)一:語氣不當(dāng),不合語境。
有同學(xué)在第1段開頭這樣寫道:“Hey?friend,?what?happened??You?seem?to?be?in?trouble.?Can?I?help?you?”asked?Paul.?貌似友好、客氣,但不符合當(dāng)時生死一線的緊張氛圍。毫不夸張地講,再這樣客氣啰嗦下去,Mac就要成為惡狼的盤中餐了。因此,此處要使用簡潔的語言、命令的語氣,如:Paul?shouted?through?the?window,“Get?in?the?car?quickly!”此表達能充分體現(xiàn)出當(dāng)時氣氛的緊張和Paul救人的迫切心情。
雷區(qū)二:多輪對話,化簡為繁。
很多同學(xué)喜歡采用直接引語進行多輪對話,以展開情節(jié)。這樣做的表達效率很低,且大大占用了有限的寫作空間,可以說是一種性價比極低的寫作方法。如:
“Mac,?what?happened??You?seem?to?have?been?in?trouble,”?asked?Tim,?one?of?Macs?friends.?Mac?sighed,“I?did?experience?something?terrible.?I?was?attacked?by?a?wolf!”“Oh,?my?god!?Im?so?sorry?to?hear?that.?We?shouldnt?have?let?you?cycle?alone,”Tim?hugged?Mac.“Im?so?lucky?to?have?come?across?Paul?and?Becky.?Without?their?selfless?help,?I?wouldnt?see?you?again,”Mac?said?sincerely.?Then?Tim?turned?to?Paul?and?Becky,?shaking?their?hands?with?sincerity,“Thank?you?so?much?for?saving?my?friend.”“Youre?welcome.?We?are?glad?to?have?given?a?timely?help.?By?the?way,?we?can?drive?you?to?Alaska?in?case?of?potential?danger?ahead,”offered?Paul.“Thats?so?kind?of?you.?Im?sure?that?will?be?a?great?journey,”Tim?replied?happily.
這種整個段落都采用直接引語的方式是極不推薦的。不僅讀起來費時費力,表達效率不高,而且不能很好地融入細節(jié)描寫,很難體現(xiàn)出考生的書面表達功底。與其這樣,不如采用以下表達方式:
Seeing?Macs?terrible?appearance?and?hearing?his?horrible?experience,?they?hugged?Mac?tightly,?making?a?sincere?apology?for?letting?him?cycle?alone.?Then?they?turned?to?Paul?and?Becky,?shaking?their?hands?firmly?and?expressing?their?heartfelt?gratitude?to?them?for?saving?their?friends?out?of?the?wolfs?mouth.?In?case?of?any?potential?danger?ahead,?Paul?and?Becky?offered?to?drive?Mac?and?his?friends?to?Alaska.?Then?they?started?a?happy?journey.
雷區(qū)三:通通said,詞不達意。
有的同學(xué),無論直接引語的內(nèi)容是什么,引語之外都是某人said,?詞不達意。如:Paul?said?through?the?window,“Get?in?the?car?quickly!”此處使用said無法體現(xiàn)出Paul救人的急迫心情和當(dāng)時局勢的緊張,應(yīng)將said改為shouted。再比如:“Oh,?my?god!Im?so?sorry?to?hear?that.?We?shouldnt?have?let?you?cycle?alone,”Tim?said?to?Mac.?此處的Tim?said?to?Mac過于平淡,無法體現(xiàn)出Tim的懊悔、歉意以及對Mac的安慰,應(yīng)改為Tim?hugged?Mac。因此,我們應(yīng)根據(jù)具體情況,采用不同的“說”法。
雷區(qū)四:標(biāo)點混亂,影響表達。
1.?錯用冒號。受漢語表達中直接引語前使用冒號的影響,有的同學(xué)在英語的直接引語前也會錯誤地使用冒號,如:Paul?shouted?through?the?window:“Get?in?the?car?quickly!”顯然,應(yīng)該將冒號改為逗號。
2.?缺少標(biāo)點。如:Paul?shouted?through?the?window“Get?in?the?car?quickly!”?此句中的某人說位于直接引用之前,因此,雙引號之前應(yīng)該有個逗號,將某人說和直接引語隔開。
3.?標(biāo)點位置不當(dāng)。如:Paul?shouted?through?the?window,?“Get?in?the?car?quickly”!此句結(jié)尾的標(biāo)點應(yīng)挪到雙引號之內(nèi),即Paul?shouted?through?the?window,“Get?in?the?car?quickly!”
4.?標(biāo)點選擇不當(dāng)。如:Paul?shouted?through?the?window,?“Get?in?the?car?quickly.”在quickly后面使用句號雖然不是不可以,但終歸不如使用感嘆號好。此處的感嘆號更能體現(xiàn)出說話人的急迫的心情。
雷區(qū)五:人稱混亂,影響理解。
“Thank?goodness!Where?did?they?go??I?thought?I?wouldnt?see?you?again,”Mac?held?his?two?friends?tightly?in?arms.?Mac是問他的兩個朋友去哪里,因此,在直接引語中,應(yīng)將they改為you。
以上是同學(xué)們在使用直接引語時極易踩到的雷區(qū)。一定要小心避之,方能恰當(dāng)使用直接引語,為文章的整體表達增添色彩。
責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青