雅思寫作中的句子基本功（二）：代詞的使用

在雅思作文評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)中，有一條涉及“銜接和連貫”，即要求作文中的句子之間需要有緊密的聯(lián)系，不能上句不接下句。實(shí)現(xiàn)句子之間的銜接，手段其實(shí)很多，比如使用連詞（and、but、because等），也可以重復(fù)前一句中的名詞。今天老雅想和大家分享的是，如何使用代詞來實(shí)現(xiàn)句子之間的銜接，更重要的是，老雅將從學(xué)生實(shí)際作文中提取例句，講解中國學(xué)生在使用代詞時(shí)經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)的錯(cuò)誤，幫助大家避免類似錯(cuò)誤。

英語和漢語在代詞使用方面存在較大差異。首先，英語使用代詞的頻率明顯高于漢語，而漢語中省略代詞和名詞重復(fù)的頻率則遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)超過英語。漢語主張少用代詞，對(duì)待代詞的原則是：為了明白，就名詞重復(fù);為了簡潔，名詞代詞都不用。英語則要求避免同一名詞在相近的語言環(huán)境中重復(fù)使用。漢英的這一差異，加之英語代詞系統(tǒng)的獨(dú)特性，使中國學(xué)生在使用英語代詞時(shí)容易出現(xiàn)偏誤。以下老雅將通過例句一一分析，各位同學(xué)看自己寫作中是否存在相似的問題。

問題1：該用代詞的時(shí)候用名詞重復(fù)。

如前所述，漢語傾向于重復(fù)名詞以使上下文連貫，而英語則傾向于使用代詞。這種差異往往造成中國學(xué)生在英語作文中大量重復(fù)名詞，而不喜歡用代詞，使作文讀起來既不流暢也不精練。

【例1】 The man is not a young man， but the man is not old. He is about forty-four or forty-five years old. The man is a good-looking man， tall， handsome， rather thin， with dark-brown hair just beginning to go gray. The man is always well-dressed， but quiet in good taste.

【例2】 Turkey had the highest proportion of national consumer expenditure in food， drinks and tobacco， at 32.14%， which was approximately twice as much as that of Italy. Ireland had the second highest proportion of national consumer expenditure in food， drinks， and tobacco. It was 28.91%.

【例3】 Self-confidence is very important for us. With self-confidence we can do whatever we want to; without self-confidence， we can achieve nothing.

例1中，the man被毫無必要地重復(fù)了四次，雖然在漢語中這樣重復(fù)并無違和感。例2中出現(xiàn)的重復(fù)更是極端：在描寫土耳其和愛爾蘭兩個(gè)國家在食物、飲料和香煙方面的花銷時(shí)，文字上居然完全重復(fù)，全然沒有使用代詞的概念。可作如下修改：... Ireland had the second highest proportion in this sector / field / expenditure， at 28.91%. 例3沒有明顯語法錯(cuò)誤，但讀起來頗似漢語表達(dá)：“自信對(duì)我們很重要。有了自信我們百事可為;沒有自信則一事無成?！?很明顯，學(xué)生受到了來自漢語結(jié)構(gòu)的消極影響。這句可改為： Self-confidence is very important for us. With it we can do whatever we want to， or else we can achieve nothing.

問題2：該用代詞的時(shí)候不用代詞。

【例4】 People should not spend too much time on hobbies in order to avoid disturbing normal work and study.

【例5】 Many international meetings on environment protection are held， at which scientists from different countries can exchange ideas and learn from each other.

例4句意是“人們不應(yīng)該在業(yè)余愛好上花太多時(shí)間， 以免影響正常工作和學(xué)習(xí)”，例5句意是“在召開的許多有關(guān)環(huán)境保護(hù)的國際會(huì)議上，世界各地的科學(xué)家們可以交流思想和互相學(xué)習(xí)”。漢語中不使用物主代詞不會(huì)引起誤解，讀起來也非常自然。然而，在英語中則應(yīng)該加上物主代詞，所以兩句中斜體部分最好改為：their normal work and study（例4）， exchange their ideas （例5）。

問題3：隨意轉(zhuǎn)換所使用的代詞，前后不能保持一致。

【例6】 So long as you have the Internet access， anyone can receive distance education.

【例7】 Before leaving for foreign countries， it is necessary for us to know about the local culture and language since this can help you avoid some cultural misunderstanding.

代詞使用時(shí)要保持前后一致，一般不隨意轉(zhuǎn)換，否則就會(huì)造成所指不明的錯(cuò)誤。這種錯(cuò)誤在中國學(xué)生的英語作文中相當(dāng)普遍，尤其是在不定代詞的使用方面。其根源在于漢語的不定代詞使用是可以隨意轉(zhuǎn)換的（比如“我們大家都要努力工作，要不然你就會(huì)丟工作”），而英語一般情況下需要保持一致（We must work hard， or we will lose our job）。例6中，從句中用you，主句中用anyone，明顯不一致，可將anyone改為you;例7中，前面用us，后面用you，將you改為us即可實(shí)現(xiàn)一致性。

問題4：代詞與其照應(yīng)的內(nèi)容在性、數(shù)、格上不一致。

【例8】 We all know that everyone is forever a child in their parents eyes.

【例9】 If a friend of you asks you to do a wrong thing for him， your best answer is of course “No！”

【例10】 The old have their lifetime knowledge， but many young people regard it as a long-term burden and consider they are of little value to our life.

人稱代詞、反身代詞以及相應(yīng)的限定代詞必須和它們指代的對(duì)象保持性、數(shù)、格上的一致。以第三人稱單數(shù)為例，若指代對(duì)象為陽性名詞，代詞通常用he、him、himself、his;若指代對(duì)象為陰性名詞，代詞通常用she、her、herself、hers;若指代對(duì)象是表示無生命事物的名詞， 代詞常用it、its、itself。代詞的格分為三種，分別是主格、賓格和所有格，各有其相應(yīng)的形式，都不能犯錯(cuò)。例8中，everyone是單數(shù)，后面用their來指代就違反了數(shù)的一致性，應(yīng)為his/her;例9中，a friend of you應(yīng)該是a friend of yours;例10的“many young people regard it ... and consider they ... to our life”中，it明顯指代前文中的knowledge，是不可數(shù)名詞，但后面又用了復(fù)數(shù)形式they，這也違反了數(shù)的一致性，可改為it。此外，本句主語是young people，但后面卻用our life來指代，這就是上文說到的“隨意轉(zhuǎn)換代詞”，改為their life就一致了。

問題5：代詞使用引發(fā)流水句。

【例11】 Students are always faced with great pressure from examination， some of them even choose suicide.

【例12】 Students with a part-time job have chances to contact different people， this will make them more experienced to deal with interpersonal relationships in future.

【例13】 Students spend too much time preparing for examination， they always ignore outdoor activities and exercises.

流水句是中國學(xué)生最容易犯的句法錯(cuò)誤之一，代詞使用往往引發(fā)這一錯(cuò)誤，其根源依然是漢語的負(fù)遷移：在漢語句子中，代詞引導(dǎo)的句子和主句無縫銜接，直接用逗號(hào)相連，但英語中并不允許這種用法。例11中，前句主語為students，后句主語為some of them，這是兩個(gè)不同主語引起的句子，無法直接用逗號(hào)連接，可在兩個(gè)句子中間加連接詞and，或者將第二句變?yōu)閺膶倬?，比如將them改為whom;與此相同，例12也可用and連接，或?qū)his改為which;例13可加and或so來連接。

最后，老雅從其創(chuàng)作的雅思真題范文中提取5個(gè)含有代詞使用的句子，讀者可以結(jié)合以上講解，看老雅如何使用代詞。

1. In modern society， young people prefer to stay apart from their parents and live alone in big cities. Further， they have a tendency of postponing their parenthood until late 30s or even early 40s.

2. We all need news for information and knowledge， and in order for news to be reliable rather than misleading， a journalist must have a willing heart to pursue truth， a fair judgment and most important of all， a strong ability to express his/her mind with words.

3. When a historic structure has become a threat to society， for example， having it removed can actually add more value to the area around it.

4. The second reason is that by doing different jobs or careers， young people can increase their work experience and eventually become more versatile. This may give them a competitive edge， especially in todays job market where an all-round employee is always preferred.

5. A friend of mine got married after having been single and living by himself for many years， only to find that he was always quarreling with his wife because， in his words， she was constantly picking faults with his habits and lifestyle.? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? □

[與老雅繼續(xù)交流，請(qǐng)加微信公眾號(hào)ieltswriting4u（唐老雅英語寫作工作室）]

1唐偉勝，博士生導(dǎo)師，江西師范大學(xué)首席教授，英美文學(xué)學(xué)者。