巧用思維導(dǎo)圖，搭建續(xù)寫支架

陸圓

讀后續(xù)寫要求考生閱讀350詞左右短文，讀完能理清人物關(guān)系，抓住人物特征，梳理故事情節(jié)，從而預(yù)測故事結(jié)局。在考場上有限的時間內(nèi)，合理、清晰、豐富地展開思路，對考生而言極具挑戰(zhàn)，而思維導(dǎo)圖能給考生提供幫助。筆者結(jié)合2020年7月新高考全國Ⅰ卷中的讀后續(xù)寫，展示思維導(dǎo)圖的妙用。原題如下：

閱讀下面材料， 根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段， 使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

The Meredith family lived in a small community， As the economy was in decline， some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other meet the challenges.

Mrs. Meredith was a most kind and thoughtful woman. She spent a great deal of time visiting the poor. She knew they had problems， and they needed all kinds of help. When she had time， she would bring food and medicine to them.

One morning she told her children about a family she had visited the day before. There was a man sick in bed， his wife， who took care of him and could not go out to work， and their little boy. The little boy-his name was Bernard-had interested her very much.

“I wish you could see him，”she said to her own children， John， Harry， and Clara.“He is such a help to his mother. He wants very much to earn some money， but I dont see what he can do.”

After their mother left the room， the children sat thinking about Bernard.“I wish we could help him to earn money.”said Clara.“His family is suffering so much.”

“So do I，”said Harry.“We really should do something to assist them.”

For some moments， John said nothing， but， suddenly， he sprang to his feet and cried，“I have a great idea！I have a solution that we can all help accomplish（完成）.”

The other children also jumped up all attention. When John had an idea， it was sure to be a good one.“I tell you what we can do，”said John.“You know that big box of com Uncle John sent us？Well， we can make popcorn（爆米花）， and put it into paper bags， and Bernard can take it around to the houses and sell it.”

注意：

1. 續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2. 請按如下格式在答題卡的相應(yīng)位置作答。

When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea， she thought it was a good one， too. ?_______________________________________

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With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business. ________________________________________________

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故事分析：

本文介紹了Mrs. Meredith，樂于助人，在自己的三個孩子John， Harry 和Clara心中播種了愛和善良的種子。當(dāng)她給孩子們講述了Bernard小男孩一家的情況，三個孩子都非?？释麕椭?，并且確實想出了一個好主意——即把家里的玉米做成爆米花，讓Bernard在社區(qū)售賣。接下來兩段已給出開頭，讓考生續(xù)寫。

段首句分析：

段首句是續(xù)寫的起點，可以幫助考生預(yù)測內(nèi)容。考生一定要仔細(xì)分析這兩句話，以避免偏離原文天馬行空的想象。

第一段首句When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea， she thought it was a good one， too. 表明Mrs. Meredith認(rèn)可孩子們的想法。既然如此，接下來Mrs. Meredith應(yīng)該會鼓勵支持孩子們，而孩子們則要分工合作，一步步采取行動去把John的想法變成現(xiàn)實。

第二段首句With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business. 這句話起著承上啟下的作用，前半句呼應(yīng)上一段的準(zhǔn)備工作完成，后半句提示這段應(yīng)該寫B(tài)ernard如何賣爆米花，如何和John等人分享快樂，表達謝意，以及適當(dāng)總結(jié)升華故事。另外，值得注意的是本段段首就說Bernard開始賣東西，那么上一段應(yīng)該要寫到他們把這個事情告訴Bernard。

續(xù)寫方法指導(dǎo)：

續(xù)寫分兩步，先想好情節(jié)，再語言輸出。情節(jié)是支架，那么如何搭好支架，筆者認(rèn)為可以分三步走：

一、理清人物關(guān)系，抓住人物特征

人物是故事的靈魂。只有基于對人物的正確解讀，才能合理預(yù)測他們會做什么，怎么做。續(xù)寫部分的人物特征才能和前文保持一致。本文中涉及人物較多，考生可以用思維圖畫出人物關(guān)系，列出人物性格特征：（考試時可以快速手繪）

二、探究情節(jié)發(fā)展，羅列主要動詞

本文主要難點是人物多，動作多，如何根據(jù)人物特征進行動作分配，并有條理地描寫動作，思維導(dǎo)圖可以幫我們理清思路。

首先，考生可以提取頭腦中的關(guān)鍵動詞，繪制流程圖：

Paragraph 1：

Paragraph 2：

這樣做磨刀不誤砍柴工，既可以讓思路清晰，內(nèi)容無遺漏， 前后不矛盾，又可以節(jié)約寫作時間，不用邊寫邊想，邊想邊改。

三、適當(dāng)補充細(xì)節(jié)，讓內(nèi)容更豐富

故事線索理清之后，還要適當(dāng)補充細(xì)節(jié)，讓故事飽滿。之前的流程圖是人物的主要動作，為了讓動作更細(xì)致生動，考生可以補充人物的神情、狀態(tài)和語言描寫。即在之前流程圖的基礎(chǔ)上，補充一些關(guān)鍵詞。

如Meridith encourage 可以補充smile，advise等去豐富這個動作。

With a smile， she encouraged them to do it and advised them to make a careful plan.

Bernard sell可以補充語言描寫，使人物更鮮活。

Carrying a big bag of pop corns， he began to sell them by yelling，“10 cents a bag， tasty but not expensive.”

有了足夠的支架，寫作文就是水到渠成的事了，以下就是筆者的一篇下水作文：

When Mrs. Meredith heard of Johns idea， she thought it was a good one， too. With a smile， she encouraged them to do it and advised them to make a careful plan. John， the smart boy， arranged everyones task right away. As planned， John began to make popcorns by preparing corns and heating the stove. At the same time， Carla dashed to buy some attractive paper bags. To inform Bernard， Harry rode his bike to Bernards home to invite him. Not surprisingly， Bernard was amazed at this great project and couldnt wait to come. After Bernard and Harry came back， they packed the sweet popcorns in the colorful paperbags together. Laughter and happiness filled this house.

With everything ready， Bernard started out on his new business. Carrying a big bag of pop corns， he began to sell them by yelling，“10 cents a bag， tasty but not expensive.”Hearing this， many people gathered around Bernard to buy pop corns. One hour later， all the pop corns were sold out， which meant Bernard earned 2 dollars. So excited was he that he shared this happy news with the Meredith family immediately，“Thank you so much. Without you I can never earn money.”Mrs. Meredith held his hands， responding，“No big deal， boy. We are so delighted that we can help.”

點評：

1. 從內(nèi)容上看，邏輯清晰，情節(jié)有序，動作具體，細(xì)節(jié)豐富。如“去”這個動作，沒有用went這種籠統(tǒng)的詞，而用了更加具體的詞如dashed， rushed， rode bike to等。再比如“sell”這個動作，用了carrying a big bag， yell 等來豐富動作細(xì)節(jié)。

2. 在語言表達方面，用介詞短語，非謂語短語，從句等豐富句式。

由此可見，利用思維導(dǎo)圖，學(xué)生可以為續(xù)寫搭建信息支架和思維支架。支架越扎實，越細(xì)致，寫作難度越低。

讀后續(xù)寫作為新高考的新題型，既考查核心素養(yǎng)，也培養(yǎng)核心素養(yǎng)。對學(xué)生而言，它既是挑戰(zhàn)也是機遇。學(xué)生應(yīng)該克服畏難情緒，用好思維導(dǎo)圖，打開寫作思路，逐步提高讀后續(xù)寫能力。

責(zé)任編輯 蔣小青