AStudyofDifferencesbetweenChineseandEnglishMarriageCustoms

1. Introduction

“When a boy grows up he takes a wife， and when a girl is old enough she goes to a husband” （Duan Shuping， 2006）. To get married at a suitable age is a natural rule and a tradition of humans. People in different cultures have their unique way to celebrate this great event. The special rituals about the wedding are called “the marriage customs”. The wedding under the Anglican Church （the Church of England） in Britain has the most typical characteristics in the western culture. Thus here the wedding under the Anglican Church is chosen as reference. A survey about the rituals during the wedding ceremony in both traditional Chinese and English culture is conducted. By further studying Chinese and English marriage customs， we can not only better understand the English culture but also reflect upon our own culture and disseminate its excellent part to more people in the world.

2. Differences during the wedding

Contrastive analyses about the wedding costume for the bride and bridegroom， the place to hold the wedding， the wedding banquet， and marriage statements will be conducted here.

2.1 The Wedding Costume for the Bride and Bridegroom

In China

Before 1920s in China， the bride wears a red gown embroidered with phoenix design and a pair of red shoes， and her head is covered with a red silk veil with tassels or bead strings that hang from the phoenix crown. The bridegroom gets capped and dressed in a long gown with dragon design， red shoes and a red silk sash with a silk ball on his chest （Xie Mingyan， 2005）. Such dresses of the couple embody their nobleness and dignity， for in ancient China dragon and phoenix represent the emperor and the queen respectively. Since 1920s， the wedding costume for the couple has slowly changed with the influence of western culture and its marriage custom. The bride wears a red qipao or a wedding gown of red， white， or pink color and the bridegroom wears a suit and a tie.

In the West

In western countries， at the wedding ceremony the bride usually wears a wedding gown and a veil （of white， pink， or blue color） according to her own flavor. Among them， the white dress is a common choice for it symbols nobleness and purity of the bride. It was firstly used as the costume of Catholics for the service. In the ancient times many western countries are the unification of the state and the church， and only the marriage with the blessings of the priest in the church is legal. So the bride usually wears the white dress to express her sincerity and purity to the God. The bridegroom wears a black swallow–tailed coat or a suit.

2.2 The way to marry the bride

In China

On the morning of the wedding day the bridegroom sets out to the bride’s family to escort her back to the wedding. Escorts and musicians play happy music and set off firecrackers all the way to radiate happiness. In the ancient time， a bridal sedan chair would be used to serve the bride. There will be a child （usually a boy） carrying a bridal box among the people， wishing the bridegroom to have a baby boy in the near future. （Nowadays the bridal chair has seldom been used and has been replaced by cars.） Before departure， the bridegroom has to go through various kinds of difficulties and obstacles set up by the bride’s sisters and friends to enable him to know it’s not easy to get the bride and will cherish her in his lifetime. When it’s the time to leave， the bride usually cries， called “wedding lament”. Maybe she is worried for the uncertainty in the future.

Firecrackers will be set off to drive away evil spirits as the bride sits into the sedan chair， as an announcement to the neighbors about the wedding and to hail the bride’s arrival at the bridegroom’s. Before the sedan chair， a red mat is placed so that the bride will not touch the bare earth. By the threshold a flaming stove will be set up， and the bride is required to step over it to avoid evils. Then the bride and bridegroom are led to the family altar to hold the wedding ceremony. Following the instructions of the wedding host， usually the senior in the family clan， the couple first pays kowtows to the Heaven and Earth， then the family ancestors and parents successively. At last they bow to each other and are led to the bridal chamber. （Cheng Yongning， 2010）.

In the west

In western countries， on the wedding day the bride together with her relatives and friends walks to the wedding place， usually the church near the bride’s home or the one her parents often go to. On the way to the church， a little girl in the front of the troop strews many beautiful flowers onto the road which means that flowers will blossom on the road of the bride’s life and she will be happy forever （Duan Shuping， 2006）.

The bridegroom with his families and friends will get there earlier， waiting for the bride. Among all the relatives， the female guests sit on the right side of the porch with the parents of the bridegroom in the front and the male sit on the left with the bride’s parents in the front. When the wedding ceremony begins， all the guests stand up， and the bride takes a bouquet in her left hand and walks arm in arm with her father slowly through the porch onto the altar. All these proceed in the company of Wagner’s “Wedding March” which creates a holy and serious atmosphere.

On the altar， the bride standing on the left， the bridegroom on the right， the man who shall give the bride between them， the priest begins to host the wedding. Both the bride and the bridegroom make their wedding vows in the presence of God and all the relatives： I take you to my wedded wife （husband）， to have and to hold from this day forward， for better for worse， for richer for poorer， for fairer or fouler， in sickness and in health， to love and to cherish， till death departs us， according to God’s holy ordinance； and thereunto I plight you my troth （Xie Mingyan， 2005）.

In the end， the bridegroom wears the wedding ring for his bride， and kisses her in the applause of the guests. The bride then throws away the bouquet in her hand into female guests and her stocking suspenders into male guests， and whoever catches them will be the next to get married.

2.3 The Wedding Banquet

In China

After the wedding ceremony， the bridegroom’s family usually prepares a rich dinner， called the wedding banquet， to express their welcome and thanks to all the guests. Chinese place a lot of value on the wedding banquet. A marriage without a wedding banquet is not widely acknowledged even though the couple has already got the marriage certificate. The success of the wedding banquet is closely related with the face and fame of the male’s family. Therefore the bridegroom’s family usually spends a lot to hold a decent wedding banquet.

There are many etiquettes and requirements about the wedding banquet in China， from seating arrangement to food serving. All the guests are seated in the way to show respect for seniority and superiority--children for parents， subordinates for superiors， younger for older， and host for guest. Cold dishes are first served and then hot dishes. Next is the main course. Sweet dishes come at the end of the dinner.

In the West

In the west， usually the bride’s family will hold a formal party after the wedding ceremony. The food served is very simple and is determined by the tradition of the bride’s family and their economic conditions （Xi Xiao， 2008）. It usually includes wine， fruit， cheese， bread， pudding， pie， and the most important， the wedding cake. In the banquet people will break off a piece of bread on the bride’s head， for wheat， the material of making bread， symbols fertility ability. The bread crumbs represent good luck， so the guests all rush to pick them up to get good luck. The banquet usually ends up with a ball. The bride and the bridegroom dance the first dancing to celebrate the start of their new life and then all the guests dance to the beautiful music.

3. Conclusions

People attach great importance to the wedding in both Chinese and English cultures， but they celebrate it in greatly different ways. What contributes these differences？

They have different beliefs and values.

Ancient Chinese hold Confucianism （especially the Rites of Zhou） as their belief and all the rules and behaviors in daily life should conform to it. Marriage is seen as the combination of the two families or even the two clans. The love between the couple is not the most important but the interests of the family or the clan is. Women are deemed as inferior to men in ancient Chinese culture and have to depend men to live. After marriage， they join the bridegroom’s family. Face is also rather important for Chinese， and that’s why the bridegroom’s family spend a lot for the wedding， not only to express their gratitude to the bride’s parents， but also to make the wedding decent and avoid “l(fā)osing face”.

In the English culture， the religious belief plays a rather significant role in people’s daily life. That’s why before the wedding they go to the church in their community to put up the banns， apply for the certificate， and hold the wedding ceremony in the church. Westerners deeply influenced by Christian thoughts pay more attention to individual feelings. To be married is to stay with the one you love and to pursue your lifelong happiness.

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【作者簡(jiǎn)介】孫亞娟，鄭州航空工業(yè)管理學(xué)院。