浙江省新高考英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作題型之概要寫(xiě)作介紹及范例點(diǎn)評(píng)

陳科芳

《普通高等學(xué)校招生全國(guó)統(tǒng)一考試英語(yǔ)科考試說(shuō)明（高考綜合改革試驗(yàn)省份試用）（第一版）》已經(jīng)公布。作為試點(diǎn)單位，浙江省對(duì)2016年10月份開(kāi)始的新高考英語(yǔ)科目考試題型作了重大調(diào)整，其中英語(yǔ)寫(xiě)作分為兩部分，共40分：第一部分為應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作（15分），第二部分為讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)或概要寫(xiě)作（25分），兩種形式在不同考次不定期交替使用。對(duì)于應(yīng)用文寫(xiě)作，廣大師生相對(duì)熟悉，但是讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)或概要寫(xiě)作是一種新題型，之前考試中考生并未接觸過(guò)。為方便廣大師生盡早熟悉這種題型，適應(yīng)相關(guān)變化，本刊特設(shè)學(xué)生習(xí)作點(diǎn)評(píng)欄目。上一期我們已經(jīng)分析了讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)題型，這期分析概要寫(xiě)作題型，學(xué)生習(xí)作選自杭州某高中。題型介紹

概要寫(xiě)作題型的基本要求為：

提供一篇350詞以內(nèi)的短文，要求考生基于該短文寫(xiě)出一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。（所選材料體裁沒(méi)有限制，以說(shuō)明文、議論文和記敘文為主）評(píng)分原則

1.本題總分為25分，按5個(gè)檔次給分。

2.評(píng)分時(shí)，先根據(jù)所寫(xiě)概要的內(nèi)容和語(yǔ)言初步確定其所屬檔次，然后以該檔次的要求來(lái)衡量、確定或調(diào)整檔次，最后給分。

3.詞數(shù)少于40和多于80的，從總分中減去2分。

4.評(píng)分時(shí)，應(yīng)主要從以下四個(gè)方面考慮：

（1 ）對(duì)原文要點(diǎn)的理解和呈現(xiàn)情況；

（2）應(yīng)用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯的準(zhǔn)確性；

（3）上下文的連貫性；

（4）對(duì)各要點(diǎn)表達(dá)的獨(dú)立性情況。

5.拼寫(xiě)與標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是語(yǔ)言準(zhǔn)確性的一個(gè)重要方面，評(píng)分時(shí)，應(yīng)視其對(duì)交際的影響程度予以考慮。

6.如書(shū)寫(xiě)較差以致影響交際，可將分?jǐn)?shù)降低一個(gè)檔次。各檔次的給分范圍和要求概要寫(xiě)作樣題

《考試說(shuō)明》提供了一篇樣題，具體為：

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

Getting rid of dirt， in the opinion of most people， is a good thing. However， there is nothing fixed about attitudes to dirt.

In the early 16th century， people thought that dirt on the skin was a means to block out disease， as medical opinion had it that washing off dirt with hot water could open up the skin and let ills in. A particular danger was thought to lie in public baths. By 1538， the French king had closed the bath houses in his kingdom. So did the king of England in 1546. Thus began a long time when the rich and the poor in Europe lived with dirt in a friendly way. Henry IV， King of France， was famously dirty. Upon learning that a nobleman had taken a bath， the king ordered that， to avoid the attack of disease， the nobleman should not go out.

Though the belief in the merit（好處） of dirt was long-lived， dirt has no longer been regarded as a nice neighbor ever since the 18th century. Scientifically speaking， cleaning away dirt is good to health. Clean water supply and hand washing are practical means of preventing disease. Yet， it seems that standards of cleanliness have moved beyond science since World War II. Advertisements repeatedly sell the idea： clothes need to be whiter than white， cloths ever softer， surfaces to shine. Has the hate for dirt， however， gone too far？

Attitudes to dirt still differ hugely nowadays. Many first-time parents nervously try to warn their children off touching dirt， which might be responsible for the spread of disease. On the contrary， Mary Ruebush， an American immunologist（免疫學(xué)家）， encourages children to play in the dirt to build up a strong immune system. And the latter（后者） position is gaining some ground.

《考試說(shuō)明》還提供了一個(gè)針對(duì)考試要求的概要樣本（One possible version）：

People have mixed opinions towards dirt on our skin. （要點(diǎn)1）For a long time in history， people of some European countries， such as France， believed that dirt protected people from getting ill.（要點(diǎn)2） However， people began to change their attitudes to dirt about 200 years ago. People have been told that washing dirt off our body can keep us healthy.（要點(diǎn) 3）However， some scientists believe that exposure to some dirt may help our immune system.（要點(diǎn)4）題型分析

概要寫(xiě)作，簡(jiǎn)而言之就是對(duì)所讀過(guò)的文章簡(jiǎn)要概括，寫(xiě)出文章的中心大意，也可稱之為摘要。這一題型主要考查學(xué)生對(duì)文章主旨大意的概括和準(zhǔn)確獲取關(guān)鍵詞的能力，同時(shí)考查學(xué)生用簡(jiǎn)潔的語(yǔ)言概括文章重要信息的能力以及對(duì)文章整體結(jié)構(gòu)的把握能力。因此，概要寫(xiě)作是基于閱讀理解和書(shū)面表達(dá)的，是二者的有機(jī)結(jié)合體，是閱讀理解和書(shū)面表達(dá)的溝通橋梁。

寫(xiě)概要時(shí)考生需要注意，要把文章的具體信息用一些具有概括功能的詞和句表述出來(lái)，而不是抄襲文章的原句，更不是把細(xì)節(jié)性信息作為中心。要通過(guò)對(duì)文章中的單詞、詞組和句子進(jìn)行合理轉(zhuǎn)換，對(duì)文章的具體信息進(jìn)行概括，再用合適的語(yǔ)言表述出來(lái)。備考建議

首先，要明確寫(xiě)作步驟。建議寫(xiě)作步驟如下：

1.弄清要求。新高考的概要寫(xiě)作是寫(xiě)全文概要，不是寫(xiě)某一部分的概要，或者就某些問(wèn)題寫(xiě)出要點(diǎn)。

2.細(xì)讀原文。首先要仔細(xì)閱讀短文，掌握文章主旨和結(jié)構(gòu)，明確各段的大意。

3.列出原文要點(diǎn)。分析原文的內(nèi)容和結(jié)構(gòu)，將內(nèi)容分項(xiàng)扼要表述并注意在結(jié)構(gòu)上的順序。在此基礎(chǔ)上選出與文章主題密切相關(guān)的部分。并把這些要點(diǎn)用適當(dāng)?shù)倪B接詞進(jìn)行連接，使上下句之間具有連貫性。

4.列出關(guān)鍵詞匯。關(guān)鍵詞對(duì)于整篇文章的理解與轉(zhuǎn)化成自己的語(yǔ)言都很關(guān)鍵，如果不能準(zhǔn)確領(lǐng)會(huì)其用意，語(yǔ)篇理解的效果就會(huì)大打折扣。概要寫(xiě)作的基礎(chǔ)是理解語(yǔ)篇，而讀懂語(yǔ)篇的基礎(chǔ)是詞匯，尤其是對(duì)關(guān)鍵詞匯的掌握與運(yùn)用。在此基礎(chǔ)上，綜合運(yùn)用語(yǔ)法與句法結(jié)構(gòu)，按照行文邏輯組織語(yǔ)言，形成概要。

其次，要注意以下一些要點(diǎn)：

1.概要應(yīng)包括原文中的主要事實(shí)，略去不必要的細(xì)節(jié)。

2.安排好篇幅的比例，概要應(yīng)同原文保持協(xié)調(diào)，即用較多的文字寫(xiě)重要內(nèi)容，用較少的文字寫(xiě)次要內(nèi)容。

3.注意要點(diǎn)之間的銜接，要用適當(dāng)?shù)年P(guān)聯(lián)詞語(yǔ)貫通全文，切忌只簡(jiǎn)單地寫(xiě)出一些互不相干的句子，但也不要每?jī)删渲g都加關(guān)聯(lián)詞語(yǔ)，以免顯得生硬。應(yīng)該說(shuō)《考試說(shuō)明》提供的樣文中句子之間的連接不夠自然，如此短的篇幅中接連用了兩次“However”，應(yīng)該避免這種情況。

4.不排斥用原文的某些詞句，但不要照搬原文的句子，如果不能完全用自己的話語(yǔ)表達(dá)，至少要對(duì)原文句子做一些同義詞替換，若結(jié)構(gòu)上也能有一些轉(zhuǎn)換，則會(huì)更好。

5.注意計(jì)算詞數(shù)，看是否符合規(guī)定的詞數(shù)要求。字?jǐn)?shù)在40～80詞為宜，少于40的和多于80的，從總分減去2分。

6.注意檢查是否有拼寫(xiě)錯(cuò)誤，標(biāo)點(diǎn)符號(hào)是否規(guī)范，書(shū)寫(xiě)是否整潔，這些情況都是評(píng)分的考慮范圍。

再次，要注重平時(shí)訓(xùn)練，不能靠臨時(shí)抱佛腳，而是要功在平時(shí)。以下做法供參考：

1.積累常見(jiàn)的同義短語(yǔ)和句型轉(zhuǎn)換，掌握并運(yùn)用單詞、短語(yǔ)和句型，學(xué)會(huì)詞匯、短語(yǔ)、句型的升級(jí)。“巧婦難為無(wú)米之炊”，即使有再好的寫(xiě)作技巧，如果沒(méi)有相應(yīng)的基礎(chǔ)詞匯和句法知識(shí)，也很難寫(xiě)出上乘的概要寫(xiě)作作文。因此，考生要在基礎(chǔ)詞匯和句法知識(shí)上下功夫，以不變應(yīng)萬(wàn)變。

2.精選浙江省往年高考優(yōu)秀的說(shuō)明文閱讀文章，并進(jìn)行結(jié)構(gòu)分析和主旨概括訓(xùn)練。

3.訓(xùn)練篇章結(jié)構(gòu)的布局，增強(qiáng)文章的上下文連貫性。

4.進(jìn)行適度的專題練習(xí)。有計(jì)劃地進(jìn)行適度練習(xí)有利于考生快速掌握概要寫(xiě)作的要點(diǎn)，找到概要寫(xiě)作的感覺(jué)，沖破對(duì)概要寫(xiě)作的不適感。平時(shí)可多關(guān)注往年的高考閱讀文章，進(jìn)行結(jié)構(gòu)分析和主旨概括訓(xùn)練?？砂次捏w和題材，分類(lèi)訓(xùn)練篇章結(jié)構(gòu)的布局，增強(qiáng)對(duì)文章上下文連貫性的把握。概要寫(xiě)作首先要掌握各種文體的寫(xiě)作特點(diǎn)和框架。如：

（1）記敘文：what / who / when / where/ why / how

（2）議論文：opinion / idea + argument（supporting ideas / reasons）

（3）說(shuō)明文：phenomenon / problem + reason + solution （cause and effect）， introduction of an object （how it is made， how it is used， how it may change， what makes it new or significant）

綜合以上分析可知，新高考更加重視考查考生高中階段英語(yǔ)基本技能的掌握情況，也注意考查考生進(jìn)入高等學(xué)校繼續(xù)學(xué)習(xí)的潛能，目標(biāo)是利用高考命題的導(dǎo)向功能推動(dòng)新課程的課堂教學(xué)改革，概要寫(xiě)作題型的設(shè)置就是基于這個(gè)出發(fā)點(diǎn)。應(yīng)該說(shuō)我們考生對(duì)概要寫(xiě)作并不完全陌生，因?yàn)槠鋵?shí)在日常的英語(yǔ)教學(xué)中，教師經(jīng)常讓學(xué)生就所學(xué)英語(yǔ)課文逐段概括段落大意或者復(fù)述課文，這在一定程度上都為概要寫(xiě)作打下了基礎(chǔ)?？忌绻斫鉁?zhǔn)確，涵蓋全部要求，完全使用自己的語(yǔ)言，準(zhǔn)確使用相應(yīng)的語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯，得分相應(yīng)就會(huì)比較高。相反，如果概要寫(xiě)作部分出現(xiàn)兩句以上整句抄自原文的現(xiàn)象，得分檔次將會(huì)大大降低；所寫(xiě)內(nèi)容與所提供內(nèi)容無(wú)關(guān)將不得分。學(xué)生習(xí)作分析

1. 題目要求

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容寫(xiě)一篇60詞左右的內(nèi)容概要。

“Technology is connecting us in ways never before in human history. How will that change our societies， our relationships， ourselves？”

Thats the question that interests Michael Wesch. The last time communication technology had such a wide ranging impact was 500 years ago with the invention of the printing press. Being able to print texts instead of writing them by hand transformed the world. It changed the way people could communicate with each other. Suddenly， many copies of books could be made quickly and easily. As more books became available， so ideas spread much more rapidly. But what will be the impact of digital technology， which is the most powerful connecting tool we have ever seen？

Michael Wesch argues that communication is fundamental to our relationships and so it follows that a change in the way we communicate will change those relationships. Wesch explores digital commination in his work. In particular， Wesch and his students look at social networking and other interactive Internet tools. A well-known example of such an application is YouTube. When people create and share personal videos on YouTube， anyone anywhere can watch it. Wesch says that this leads to some people feeling a sort of deep connection with the entire world. But its not a real relationship—its not the same connection as you feel with a member of your family. In fact， its a relationship without any real responsibility which you can turn off at any moment.

Wesch isnt interested in what new media was originally designed for but in how it can be used in other ways. For example， he describes how people organize social protests such as gathering signatures for online petition（請(qǐng)?jiān)福﹙ia Facebook. He says that he tries to make sure his students end up in control of technology， not vice versa. Wesch believes its crucial for people to be able to operate in the new environment of digital media and to use it for the greatest possible impact. He also believes that technology can help us see relationships and global connections in positive ways.

Now， we are connected by using digital technology which has a deep influence in our daily life. For example， social networking and Internet tools like YouTube change our relationships from a real one to a one without any responsibility. Researchers want people to control the technology， instead of being controlled， and use it in positive new ways.

2. 學(xué)生習(xí)作學(xué)生習(xí)作1 Nowadays， technology greatly influences our daily life， just like printing once sped up the spread of ideas. Michael Wesch has been working on it for a long time. In his discovery， online communicate can have a wide connection to others， but is fragile too. He wishes people to use technology properly to improve our lifes， not being the slaves of them. （61 words）

【點(diǎn)評(píng)1】 這篇學(xué)生概要習(xí)作，總的來(lái)說(shuō)理解還是比較準(zhǔn)確的，大部分要點(diǎn)也涵蓋到了。句子也未見(jiàn)明顯抄襲現(xiàn)象。其授課教師打了21分，也就是第五檔（下）。但我們認(rèn)為這個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)偏高了，理由如下：（1）雖然說(shuō)其語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤不影響理解，但有幾處比較明顯，比如：“Nowadays， technology greatly influences our daily life”，最好改為“Today， technology has a significant influence on our daily lives”；“online communicate can have a wide connection to others”，應(yīng)該改為“online communication can have a wide connection to others”，這里很可能是學(xué)生粗心大意，但體現(xiàn)為語(yǔ)法錯(cuò)誤；另外，“improve our lifes”應(yīng)該改為“improve our lives”。（2）邏輯聯(lián)系不夠明顯，句子內(nèi)部雖然用了一些連接詞，但句子之間基本上沒(méi)有用連接詞來(lái)表明邏輯關(guān)系。若能適當(dāng)添加個(gè)別連接詞語(yǔ)，會(huì)更具有表達(dá)力，如：“Therefore， he wishes people to use technology properly ....”（3）語(yǔ)義指代不夠明確。由于第一句中用了籠統(tǒng)的“technology”，而不是“communication technology”，這樣就造成了后面一句中的“it”指代不夠明確。另外，“He wishes people to use technology properly to improve our lifes”這一句中，“people”跟“our”也存在語(yǔ)義不搭，建議改為“their”。綜上，該學(xué)生習(xí)作分?jǐn)?shù)區(qū)間在第四檔（下）比較合適，也就是16～18分區(qū)間。學(xué)生習(xí)作2

Michael Wesch wonders how communications will be in the future because technology now plays a great role in humans life， which is similar to the influence of the printing press invented 500 years ago. He says that communicating on Internet isnt a real relationship and it will change our connections. He also argues that human shouldnt be controlled by technology， which is supposed to benefit humans connection. （68 words）

【點(diǎn)評(píng)2】

這篇學(xué)生習(xí)作，其授課老師打了20分，我們認(rèn)為這個(gè)分?jǐn)?shù)有點(diǎn)偏低了。一起來(lái)分析一下：首先，理解準(zhǔn)確，涵蓋了全部要點(diǎn)。其次，準(zhǔn)確使用語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)和詞匯，寫(xiě)作中幾乎沒(méi)有語(yǔ)法問(wèn)題。再次，完全使用自己語(yǔ)言，所完成的概要語(yǔ)言流暢，結(jié)構(gòu)緊湊。當(dāng)然，該學(xué)生沒(méi)有嘗試用比較難的生詞或句子結(jié)構(gòu)。所以，我們認(rèn)為可以打到第五檔（下），即21～23分區(qū)間。學(xué)生習(xí)作3

Technology is comprehensively changing the world， especially the ways of commutations which are fundamental to our relationship. Hundreds years ago， the invention of the printing press made it possible to spread ideas quickly and easily. Currently， social networking and other interactive Internet tools are widely accepted. People can feel much more about the world， although its not a real relationship. And it is believed that new media will lead the world to a positive way. （74 words）

【點(diǎn)評(píng)3】

對(duì)該生習(xí)作，其授課老師給了23分（其中包括1分卷面分），我們總體贊同。明顯可以看出，該學(xué)生的整體語(yǔ)言水平較高，對(duì)原文的理解也比較準(zhǔn)確。通過(guò)“Hundreds years ago”和“Currently”的比照，達(dá)到了較好的信息與語(yǔ)義關(guān)聯(lián)。唯一的不足是，原文中的主人公“Michael Wesch”及其作為一個(gè)研究者的身份被完全忽略了。如果能在最后點(diǎn)明，“And it is believed by researchers like Michael Wesch that...”或許更好些。學(xué)生習(xí)作4

Never has something altered the way people connect so entirely as 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology have done. Michael Wesch is convinced that social networking has an enormous effect on social relationships but doubtful that those relationships are just unreal and swallow. He also puts an emphasis on individuals control over the technology and advocates that were supposed to take advantage of it both to the fullest and in positive brand-new ways.

【點(diǎn)評(píng)4】

雖然說(shuō)這篇習(xí)作有一些語(yǔ)言錯(cuò)誤，但我們還是傾向于打到第五檔（下），即21～23分區(qū)間，因?yàn)檫@些錯(cuò)誤基本上是由于嘗試比較復(fù)雜的句式結(jié)構(gòu)和比較高級(jí)的詞匯而造成的。開(kāi)篇就用了一個(gè)倒裝的強(qiáng)調(diào)句型，比較正確的句子應(yīng)該是：“Never has anything else altered the way people connect so entirely to each other as the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology have done.”或改進(jìn)為“Nothing else has so profoundly altered the connection among people more/better than the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology.”或者索性改成比較自然的說(shuō)法，如“Apart from the 500-year-old printing press and modern digital technology， nothing else has exerted a greater impact on the way people communicate with one another.” 第二句中的“but doubtful”應(yīng)該改為“but is doubtful”，同一句中的“swallow”應(yīng)該是“shallow”的誤用，說(shuō)明詞匯的掌握還不夠精準(zhǔn)。除了這幾個(gè)基本上是由于嘗試復(fù)雜結(jié)構(gòu)造成的語(yǔ)言問(wèn)題外，應(yīng)該說(shuō)其他條件都是符合第五檔的。學(xué)生習(xí)作5

Digital technology is the strongest connecting tool up to now， the affect of which interests Michael Wesch. In his opinion， digital technology will change peoples relationships. Itll strengthen peoples connection with the whole world though the relationship is without any real responsibility. He also believes that now media has a great possibility and ways to use it are beyond imagination. Itll have a positive impact， too.

【點(diǎn)評(píng)5】

這同樣是一篇容易得高分的學(xué)生習(xí)作。理解準(zhǔn)確，要點(diǎn)齊全，語(yǔ)法結(jié)構(gòu)比較正確，語(yǔ)言表達(dá)總體流暢自然，句子顯然是原創(chuàng)。上下文之間的承接比較順理成章，雖然沒(méi)有用太多的連接詞語(yǔ)。略顯不足的是，最后一句話分量有些不足?？梢源蛟诘谖鍣n，也就是21～25分區(qū)間。