Jokes Hueur集錦

張武

I Was Ashamed

One day， a thief went into a mans house. The man saw the thief and hid himself in a chest. The thief ransacked the house without finding anything worth taking. In the end， he opened the chest and saw the man.

“Aha！” the thief said， “What are you doing inside the chest？”

“I was ashamed there was nothing in my house that would appeal to your taste. Thats why I hid here，” the man said.

不好意思

一天，一個(gè)賊偷偷進(jìn)入了一個(gè)男子的家。男主人見(jiàn)賊來(lái)了連忙躲進(jìn)一個(gè)箱子里。賊找遍了整個(gè)房間，沒(méi)有找到任何值得偷的東西。最后他打開(kāi)了那個(gè)箱子，看到了躲在里面的男子。

“哈，你在箱子里干什么？”賊問(wèn)。

“因?yàn)槲壹覜](méi)有什么能吸引你的東西，我感到不好意思，所以才躲進(jìn)箱子里。”男子回答說(shuō)。

The Customer Is Always Right

The manager of a shop was ticking off one of his staff. “I saw you arguing with a customer，” he said crossly， “will you please remember that in my shop the customer is a always right. Do you understand？”

“Yes， sir” said the assistant， “The customer is always right.”

“Now what were you arguing about？”

“Well， sir， he said you were an idiot.”

顧客永遠(yuǎn)是對(duì)的

商店的經(jīng)理正在斥責(zé)他的一個(gè)員工：“我看見(jiàn)你和一個(gè)顧客在吵架，”他非常惱火地說(shuō)，“請(qǐng)你記住，在我的店里，顧客永遠(yuǎn)是對(duì)的。你懂了嗎？”

“是的，先生，顧客永遠(yuǎn)是對(duì)的。”店員說(shuō)。

“你剛才為什么和他吵架？”

“噢，先生，他說(shuō)您是個(gè)白癡?！?/p>

Whose father was the stronger？

Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger. Will said， “Well， you know the Pacific Ocean？ My fathers the one who dug the hole for it.”

Bill wasnt impressed， “Well， thats nothing. You know the Dead Sea？ My fathers the one who killed it！”

誰(shuí)的父親更強(qiáng)壯？

威爾和比爾在為誰(shuí)的父親更強(qiáng)壯而爭(zhēng)吵。威爾說(shuō)：“喏，你知道太平洋嗎？就是我爸爸為它挖的洞?！?/p>

比爾不屑一顧：“噢，那沒(méi)什么。你知道死海嗎？那是我爸爸殺死的?！?/p>

The Attraction of the Map

Mr. Smith taught English at a school. At the beginning of his lesson， he liked to have one of his students give a report on any subject. When it was Jacks turn， he told his audience about his elder brother who was a local worker. But during the report， his eyes were staring at the world map on the wall all the time. Mr. Smith knew that Jack didnt look at the audience because he was nervous. He said to Jack jokingly， “We can see you miss your brother very much. But is he OK， now in South America？”

地圖的吸引力

史密斯先生在一所學(xué)校教英語(yǔ)。在每次課的開(kāi)始，他喜歡叫一個(gè)學(xué)生上講臺(tái)講演，題材不限。輪到杰克講演時(shí)，他向聽(tīng)眾講述了他的哥哥。他的哥哥就在當(dāng)?shù)毓ぷ鳌５谥v述的過(guò)程中，杰克的眼睛一直盯著墻上的世界地圖。史密斯先生知道杰克不敢看聽(tīng)眾是因?yàn)榫o張。他開(kāi)玩笑似地對(duì)杰克說(shuō)：“我們能看出你非常想念你的哥哥，他現(xiàn)在在南美還好嗎？”

Im the Driver

The bus was crowded， and as one more man tried to get on， the passengers wouldnt let him get on.

“Its too crowded，” they shouted. “Who do you think you are？”

“Im the driver，” the man answered.

我是司機(jī)

公共汽車上非常擁擠，但還是有一個(gè)男子想上車，乘客們就是不讓他上來(lái)。

“太擠了，”他們喊道，“你以為你是誰(shuí)？”

“我是司機(jī)，”那人回答。