I’m Young and Employed 我的坎坷求職路

Gainful employment is frankly pretty excellent， I have learned. When applied correctly， it affords a person neat1） things such as a place to sleep and store your belongings， and meals on a daily basis. When it is especially gainful， as it has been for me， it also affords nice luxuries such as driving a car， purchasing provocatively2） named micro-beers， and occasionally travelling on an airplane.

It frees a person from scary things such as insurmountable3） debt and perpetual4） homelessness. Recently， it has come to the attention of the public that for young people in Canada its a scarce commodity.

I am a young person and I have been unemployed.

Its frankly pretty awful. In the beginning it was just the sweet new fall jacket I couldnt afford， or the Saturday-night trips to the pricier brewpub5） that I had to balk6） at in favour of retail-priced beer procured at the LCBO7）.

Then， as the weeks and months went on， I evolved into that boring friend who couldnt afford subway trips outside my neighbourhood. Slowly but surely， takeout pizza became an unimaginable luxury. I grew truly and righteously outraged at the price of diced tomatoes in a can.

What could I do？ I went to university and got a degree. After university I went to college and got a diploma. Then I e-mailed my résumé to every company， non-profit and government institution with an online careers page.

My parents said “Hit the bricks8），” so I printed my résumé on paper and handed it to people in brick-and-mortar9） buildings.

My aunts and uncles said “Its all about who you know，” so I called， texted and e-mailed everyone Id ever met who collects a paycheque.

I posted on Facebook asking “does anybody have a lead on a job？” Three people helpfully suggested I apply at the nearby hardware store. I was a bright， self-motivated and detail-oriented young person， but it was and is a tough economy.

One summer during university， my cousin and I helped my uncles business reshingle10） my grandmothers roof. My cousin thrived11） while I ruined my back for what will probably be the next decade.

That same year， I was thrilled to be brought on board12） with a company that provided supplies to plumbing13） contractors in the Ottawa area. My job was to assemble the parts needed for each order so that the shipping manager could package them for delivery.

I was terrible at it. My slim， 100-pound frame was no match for massive ceramic14） toilets sitting precariously15） atop 20-foot warehouse shelves. I piloted a delivery van into another province by mistake. My four-day tenure ended with the parting comfort that I was “probably too smart for this job anyway.”

Ive been underemployed， or perhaps inaccurately employed： It isnt wonderful.

A lot of opinionated people have recently discussed and debated the notion that the predicament16） of unemployment in my generation is our fault. Some accuse us of being lazy or feeling too entitled.

Young people arent lazy and theyre not complacent. Some of my friends say that the fault lies with the baby boomers， who are clinging onto all the good jobs and wont let go until theyve squeezed every penny into bloated retirement packages featuring quadrennial17） yacht upgrades. But I think most of us are more realistic.

At the same time， those who claim my generation is to blame for its high rate of joblessness sometimes accuse us of having a sense of “specialness” that has led us to believe we can all be astronauts， television writers or unicorn wranglers18） if we put our minds to it19）.

A few of them will argue that we would all be happily employed if we would only learn trades or become mechanical or software engineers， because those people are cleaning up20）.

I think most of us realize that not everyone can go to Mars， write jokes for Family Guy21） or raise premium unicorn meat. I also think not everyone can make a good electrician or design advanced computer software. I know I cant.

Everyone is good at something， but no one is good at everything. It took me hundreds of e-mails reading： “Thank you for your interest， but the position has been filled，” to realize that I had to stop blanketing22） the entire job market with a one-size-fits-all23） résumé and focus on finding a job where I could actually be successful.

Interestingly， or perhaps ironically， I found it in writing professional résumés for a company that helps people find the types of jobs in which I performed so dismally.

I am a young person and Ive been employed gainfully.

All it took was several years of excruciating desperation， miserable failure and an honest assessment of my personal value in the cold and unforgiving job market.

Im still pretty far back on the waiting list for the mission to Mars， and I have yet to wrangle even one unicorn， but its not bad for a start.

坦率地說，有一份有報(bào)酬的工作是件極好的事情，我對(duì)這一點(diǎn)頗有體會(huì)。當(dāng)工作申請(qǐng)對(duì)了，它能讓人有能力為一些好東西買單，諸如可以睡覺和儲(chǔ)存財(cái)物的棲身之所以及一日三餐等。當(dāng)工作的報(bào)酬尤為豐厚時(shí)，就像我的工作那樣，它還能讓人負(fù)擔(dān)得起不錯(cuò)的奢侈項(xiàng)目，諸如開車、購買那些名字頗具誘惑力的微釀啤酒以及偶爾坐飛機(jī)旅行等。

有了工作，人就不必?fù)?dān)心那些可怕的事情，比如欠下難以償還的債務(wù)和顛沛流離的日子永無盡頭。近來，公眾注意到，對(duì)于加拿大的年輕人而言，這可是一件緊俏的商品。

我是個(gè)年輕人，而且我有過失業(yè)的經(jīng)歷。

說句實(shí)話，失業(yè)的感覺糟透了。一開始，我只是買不起那件好看的秋季新款?yuàn)A克，或是在周六晚上放棄前往更為昂貴的自釀酒吧，轉(zhuǎn)而在安省酒管局的酒類零售店購買零售價(jià)格的啤酒。

接著，幾個(gè)星期、幾個(gè)月過去了，我淪落成一個(gè)買不起地鐵票、只能在家附近晃蕩的無聊朋友。當(dāng)然，叫比薩外賣也逐漸成為一種難以想象的奢侈。我還真的對(duì)西紅柿丁罐頭的價(jià)格變得義憤填膺。

我能做什么呢？我上了大學(xué)，拿了學(xué)位。大學(xué)畢業(yè)后，我還去學(xué)院進(jìn)修并且拿了畢業(yè)文憑。接著，我將我的簡(jiǎn)歷通過電子郵件發(fā)送給所有有招聘網(wǎng)頁的公司、非營利性組織和政府機(jī)構(gòu)。

我父母說“走出去”，于是我把簡(jiǎn)歷打印出來，遞給那些大廈里的人們。

我的叔叔嬸嬸們說“一切得看你認(rèn)識(shí)誰”，于是我給自己曾謀面的所有領(lǐng)薪水的人打電話、發(fā)短信和寫電郵。

我在Facebook上發(fā)帖子詢問：“有人有工作方面的消息嗎？”有三個(gè)人好心地建議我到附近的五金店試試。我是個(gè)聰明、上進(jìn)、注重細(xì)節(jié)的年輕人，但是經(jīng)濟(jì)環(huán)境太糟糕了，過去是這樣，現(xiàn)在仍然是這樣。

我上大學(xué)時(shí)的一個(gè)夏天，我和堂兄一起幫叔叔的公司翻修奶奶的屋頂。我堂兄成功勝任，而我卻把背給弄傷了，可能十年之內(nèi)都好不了了。

同一年，我被一家公司錄用，這令我感到非常興奮，那家公司給渥太華地區(qū)的水暖設(shè)備承包商供貨。我的工作是組裝每個(gè)訂單所需的零件，這樣貨運(yùn)經(jīng)理就可以將它們打包發(fā)貨。

我干得糟透了。我100磅重的單薄小身板難以應(yīng)付巨大的陶瓷馬桶，它們顫悠悠地立在20英尺高的倉庫貨架上。我將一輛送貨車錯(cuò)誤地指派到了另一個(gè)省。四天的任期以一句離別的安慰而告終，你“可能太聰明了，做不來這個(gè)工作”。

我一直未能充分就業(yè)，或者說做的都是不適合自己的工作：這不是件好事。

許多自以為是的人近來一直在討論和爭(zhēng)辯這一觀點(diǎn)：我們這一代人的失業(yè)困境是由我們自己造成的。一些人指責(zé)我們懶惰或者自以為有很多選擇的權(quán)利。

年輕人既不懶惰也不自滿。我有些朋友說，問題出在那些嬰兒潮時(shí)出生的人們身上，他們把持著所有的好工作，直到自己掙到的退休金豐厚到可以每四年就換一個(gè)新游艇才肯罷休。但我認(rèn)為，我們大多數(shù)人的想法要更為現(xiàn)實(shí)。

與此同時(shí)，有些人認(rèn)定我們這一代人該為高失業(yè)率負(fù)責(zé)，他們有時(shí)會(huì)指責(zé)我們總感覺自己很特別。這種感覺使得我們相信，只要我們下定決心，我們就能成為宇航員、電視編劇或者獨(dú)角獸牧人。

他們當(dāng)中還有一些人認(rèn)為，如果我們只學(xué)貿(mào)易或者成為機(jī)械或軟件工程師，我們就都能開心地找到工作，因?yàn)檫@些行當(dāng)都在掙大錢。

我覺得，我這一代的大多數(shù)人都知道，并不是所有人都能上火星，給喜劇《惡搞之家》寫笑話，或者培育出優(yōu)質(zhì)的獨(dú)角獸肉。我也認(rèn)為，并不是所有人都能成為優(yōu)秀的電氣技師或設(shè)計(jì)出先進(jìn)的電腦軟件。我知道我就不能。

每個(gè)人都有自己擅長(zhǎng)的東西，但是沒有人擅長(zhǎng)所有的東西。“謝謝您的關(guān)注，但該職位已招滿了”——我閱讀了成百上千封這樣的電子郵件回信之后才意識(shí)到，我不能再用一份通用簡(jiǎn)歷來應(yīng)對(duì)整個(gè)人才市場(chǎng)了，我必須集中精力找一份我確實(shí)能夠取得成功的工作。

有趣的是，或許應(yīng)該說具有諷刺意味的是，我找到了一份工作，給一個(gè)公司寫專業(yè)的簡(jiǎn)歷，幫助人們找到那些我曾經(jīng)干得很糟糕的工作。

我是個(gè)年輕人，而且我有了一份有報(bào)酬的工作。

我做到這一步，既經(jīng)歷了好幾年的痛苦絕望與悲慘的失敗，也學(xué)會(huì)了在這個(gè)冷酷無情的人才市場(chǎng)里誠實(shí)地估量自己所具有的個(gè)人價(jià)值。

我在登上火星任務(wù)的超長(zhǎng)候選人名單中仍處于十分靠后的位置，我也尚未放牧哪怕一只獨(dú)角獸，但這是一個(gè)不差的起點(diǎn)。

1. neat [ni?t] adj. 〈美俗〉極好的；呱呱叫的

2. provocatively [pr??v?k?t?vli] adv. 煽動(dòng)地，挑逗地

3. insurmountable [??ns??ma?nt?bl] adj. 難以克服的，難以處理的

4. perpetual [p??pet?u?l] adj. 〈口〉無休止的，連續(xù)不斷的

5. brewpub [?bru??p?b] n. 〈美〉自釀啤酒的啤酒吧

6. balk [b??k] vi. 回避，拒絕接受

7. LCBO：加拿大安大略省酒類控制局（Liquor Control Board of Ontario，簡(jiǎn)稱“安省酒管局”），該機(jī)構(gòu)對(duì)安大略省酒類實(shí)行壟斷經(jīng)營。

8. hit the bricks：出發(fā)，走到大街上

9. brick-and-mortar：實(shí)體的，具體的

10. reshingle [?ri?????ɡl] vt. 重新用木瓦蓋……的屋頂

11. thrive [θra?v] vi. 成功；可以出色地應(yīng)對(duì)

12. bring ... on board：使加入，使聘用

13. plumbing [?pl?m??] n. （建筑物的）水管裝置，水暖設(shè)備

14. ceramic [s??r?m?k] adj. 陶瓷的

15. precariously [pr??ke?ri?sli] adv. 不牢靠地，不穩(wěn)地，危險(xiǎn)地

16. predicament [pr??d?k?m?nt] n. 尷尬的處境，困境；危境

17. quadrennial [?kw?dr?ni?l] adj. 四年一次的

18. unicorn wrangler：獨(dú)角獸牧人

19. put ones mind to sth.：下定決心做某事

20. clean up：〈口〉賺錢，發(fā)大財(cái)

21. Family Guy：《惡搞之家》，美國?？怂闺娨暪咀?999年起開始播映的一部無厘頭風(fēng)格的家庭喜劇卡通片

22. blanket [?bl??k?t] vt. （規(guī)則、價(jià)格等）通用于，普遍適用于

23. one-size-fits-all：（政策或方式）標(biāo)準(zhǔn)的，不為個(gè)體量身定做的