張愛(ài)玲(1920-1995),中國(guó)現(xiàn)代著名女作家,四十年代在上海孤島成名。其小說(shuō)擁有女性的細(xì)膩與古典的美感,對(duì)人物心理的把握令人驚異,而作者獨(dú)特的人生態(tài)度在當(dāng)時(shí)亦是極為罕見(jiàn)。《心愿》一文發(fā)表在上海圣瑪利亞女?!而P藻》1937年刊上。這是十六歲的張愛(ài)玲離開(kāi)圣瑪麗亞女校之際的臨別贈(zèng)言,流露出的是這位女學(xué)生無(wú)比的自信與對(duì)未來(lái)的憧憬。她不時(shí)地鞭策自己成就“輝煌的事業(yè)為母校增光”,并將此作為自己義不容辭的責(zé)任。
《心愿》原文
時(shí)間好比一把鋒利的小刀,使用得不恰當(dāng),會(huì)在美麗的面孔上刻下深深上午紋路,使旺盛的青春月復(fù)一月,年復(fù)一年地消磨掉;但是,使用恰當(dāng)?shù)脑?huà),它卻能將一塊普通的石頭琢刻成宏偉的雕像。圣瑪麗婭女校雖然已有五十年歷史,仍是一塊只會(huì)稍加雕琢的普通白石。隨著時(shí)光的流逝,它也許會(huì)給塵埃污染,受風(fēng)雨侵蝕,或破裂成片片碎石。另一方面,它也可以給時(shí)間的小刀仔細(xì)地、緩慢地、一寸一寸地刻成一個(gè)奇妙的雕像,置于米開(kāi)朗琪羅的那些輝煌的作品中亦無(wú)愧色。這把小刀不僅為校長(zhǎng)、教師和明日的學(xué)生所持有,我們?nèi)w同學(xué)都有權(quán)利操縱它。
如果我能活到白發(fā)蒼蒼的老年,我將在爐邊寧?kù)o的睡夢(mèng)中,尋找早年所熟悉的穿過(guò)綠色梅樹(shù)林的小徑。當(dāng)然,那時(shí)候,今日年輕的梅樹(shù)也未必已進(jìn)入愉快的晚年,伸出有力的臂膊遮蔽著縱橫的小徑。飽經(jīng)風(fēng)霜的古老鐘樓,仍將兀立在金色的陽(yáng)光中,發(fā)出在我聽(tīng)來(lái)是如此熟悉的鐘聲。在那緩慢而莊嚴(yán)地鐘聲里,高矮不一、臉蛋兒或蒼白或紅潤(rùn)、有些身材豐滿(mǎn)、有些體型纖小的姑娘們,煥發(fā)著青春活力和朝氣,像小溪般涌入教堂。在那里,她們將跪下祈禱,向上帝低聲細(xì)訴她們的生活小事:她們的悲傷,她們的眼淚,她們的爭(zhēng)吵,她們的喜愛(ài),以及她們的宏愿。她們將祈求上帝幫助自己達(dá)到目標(biāo),成為作家、音樂(lè)家、教育家或理想的妻子。我還可以聽(tīng)到那古老的鐘樓在祈禱聲中發(fā)出回響,仿佛是低聲回答她們:“是的,與全中國(guó)其他學(xué)校相比,圣瑪麗亞女校的宿舍也未必是最大的,校內(nèi)的花園也未必是最美麗的,但她無(wú)疑有最優(yōu)秀、最勤奮好學(xué)的小姑娘,她們將以其日后輝煌的事業(yè)來(lái)為母校增光!”
聽(tīng)到這話(huà)語(yǔ)時(shí),我的感受將取決于自己在畢業(yè)后的歲月里有無(wú)任何成就。如果我沒(méi)有恪盡本分,丟了榮耀母校的權(quán)利,我將感到羞恥和悔恨。但如果我在努力為目標(biāo)奮斗的路上取得成功,我可以欣慰地微笑,因?yàn)槲乙灿蟹萦脮r(shí)間把這把小刀,雕刻出美好的學(xué)校生活的形象雖然我的貢獻(xiàn)是那樣微不足道。
Aspiration
Time is like a sharp knife, if not used in a proper way, it will carve deep lines on our faces and fritter away our youth year by year. On the contrary, however, if used in a proper way, it will cut and polish a normal stone into a grand statue. Fifty years have passed, and the St. Mary’s Hall is still just a slightly carved ordinary white stone. As time goes by, it may be contaminated by dusts, eroded by wind and rain, or cracked into fragments. On the other hand, it can also be carved carefully, slowly, and inch by inch by time into a fantastic statue which is by no means inferior to Michelangelo’s glorious masterpieces. This knife is not only controlled by the principal, the teachers, and the students in the future, but also by all the students.
If I could survive till all my hair becomes greyish, I would sit beside the stove and look for in my tranquil dream the past familiar paths amidst the green prune trees grove. Of course, at that time, the prune trees were young and stretching out their strong arms to shield the crossed paths, but today they have entered their happy senility. The weather-beaten bell tower still stands upright in the golden rays of the sun, uttering the sound which is so familiar to me. In the slow and solemn toll, a few young girls, tall or short, pale or ruddy-faced, plump or slim, with youthful vitality and vigor, swarm into a church like a stream. In the church, they’ll stand on their knees to pray to God their life trifles—their sadness, tears, quarrels, love and great aspiration. They’ll pray to God to help realize their dreams—to be a writer, a musician, an educator or an ideal wife. I also hear the echo of the bell against the praying voice which seems to answer the girls: “Well, the St. Mary’s Hall may not have a larger dormitory or more beautiful garden than any other school in China, but undoubtedly she has the most excellent and diligent girls who will add prestige to their old school with their glorious achievement in the future!”
Hearing these words, my feelings will be determined by my achievements after my graduation. I’ll feel shameful and regretful if I don’t do what I’m supposed to do and lose the right to win honour for our alma mater. On the contrary, if I achieve success through hard work, I’ll smile comfortingly, for I can also carve the beautiful image of school life with the knife of time, despite my small contribution.
作者簡(jiǎn)介:馬?。?988— ),男,江蘇宿遷人,云南民族大學(xué)外國(guó)語(yǔ)學(xué)院碩士研究生。研究方向:英語(yǔ)筆譯研究。