用心體驗 一切皆有可能

2009年《時代》周刊做了一項民調(diào)“Walter Cronkite之后，誰是最受信賴的新聞主播”。排名第四的是一句話噎死佩林 （Sarah Palin） 的CBS時任新聞一姐Katie Couric，第三是ABC著名主持Charles Gibson，亞軍是目前晚新聞收視第一的NBC Nightly News掌門人Brian Williams，冠軍則是畢業(yè)于College of William and Mary的猶太青年——Jon Stewart。

中國觀眾則貼切地稱他為“囧叔”。Jon Stewart的節(jié)目視頻在微博 （weibo.com） 中的人氣非常之高，以至有熱心的英語達(dá)人不時更新帶有中文字幕的作品，吸引了大批的追隨者。

1999年，37歲的主持人新手Jon Stewart接手兩歲多的晚間脫口秀節(jié)目The Daily Show。接下來的一年中，Jon在節(jié)目中展現(xiàn)了他對時事政治的專業(yè)解讀和絕妙的諷刺才能，影響著近兩百萬觀眾（美國人口3.1億強(qiáng)）。皮尤 （Pew） 2008年的一份調(diào)查研究顯示，The Daily Show的受眾僅有23%是50歲以上的人群，在這一點上，節(jié)目甚至超過了CNN、C-SPAN及FOX。

作為吸引最年輕觀眾的電視節(jié)目之一，從政客、當(dāng)紅演員到學(xué)者、作家，都無一例外地爭相在節(jié)目中露面。Jon和英國前首相布萊爾 （Tony Blair） 針對全球化和區(qū)域化問題侃侃而談；又就著茶和點心與時任巴基斯坦總統(tǒng)穆沙拉夫 （Pervez Musharraf） 聊起本 · 拉登 （Osama bin Laden） 的藏身之所；美國前副總統(tǒng)切尼 （Dick Cheney） 的夫人Lynne鄭重地出席他的節(jié)目，帶著電影《星球大戰(zhàn)》中的達(dá)斯 · 維達(dá) （Darth Vader） 像，解釋說它可是切尼家里傳了好幾代的；紅星安吉麗娜 · 朱莉 （Angelina Jolie） 來過，2008年的兩位總統(tǒng)候選人奧巴馬和麥凱恩也來過，參議員希拉里 （Hillary Clinton） 2008年在關(guān)鍵的得克薩斯和俄亥俄初選 （primary） 前夜，擠出時間通過衛(wèi)星電視在節(jié)目中露面。

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart曾18次獲得艾美獎（“黃金時段艾美獎最佳綜藝/音樂/喜劇節(jié)目獎”2003～2012連續(xù)10年獲獎，外加“最佳綜藝/音樂/喜劇節(jié)目編劇獎”2001～2012年間共獲獎8次）。Jon則兩度主持奧斯卡金像獎頒獎典禮（第78屆及第80屆）。

2004年，Jon Stewart受邀回到母校威廉瑪麗學(xué)院 （College of Williams and Mary） 做畢業(yè)典禮演講，他一如既往的幽默諷刺，卻又不失哲理，插科打諢后引人深思。該校著名校友還有美國第一任總統(tǒng)喬治 · 華盛頓 （George Washington） ，第三任總統(tǒng)托馬斯 · 杰佛遜 （Thomas Jefferson），第五任總統(tǒng)詹姆斯 · 門羅 （James Monroe） 及第十任總統(tǒng)約翰 · 泰勒 （John Tylor） 等。

Thank you Mr. President， I had forgotten how crushingly dull these ceremonies are. （Laughter） Thank you.

My best to the choir. I have to say， that song never grows old for me. （Laughter） Whenever I hear that song， it reminds me… of nothing. （Laughter）

I am honored to be here， I do have a confession to make before we get going that I should explain very quickly. When I am not on television， this is actually how I dress. （Wearing a doctoral gown） I apologize， but there's something very freeing about it. I congratulate the students for being able to walk even a half a mile in this non-breathable fabric in the Williamsburg heat. （Cheers and laughter） I am sure the environment that now exists under your robes， are the same conditions that primordial life began on this earth. （Laughter）

I know there were some parents that were concerned about my speech here tonight， and I want to assure you that you will not hear any language that is not common at， say， a dock workers union meeting， or Tourrett's convention， or profanity seminar （Editor Note： All the three places mentioned are where the language is not common）. Rest assured. （Laughter）

I am honored to be here and to receive this honorary doctorate. When I think back to the people that have been in this position before me from Benjamin Franklin to Queen Noor of Jordan， I can't help but wonder what has happened to this place. （Laughter） Seriously， it saddens me. （Laughter） As a person， I am honored to get it； as an alumnus， I have to say I believe we can do better. （Laughter） And I believe we should. But it has always been a dream of mine to receive a doctorate and to know that today， without putting in any effort， I will. （Cheers and laughter） It's incredibly gratifying. Thank you. That's very nice of you， I appreciate it.

I'm sure my fellow doctoral graduates—who have spent so long toiling in academia， sinking into debt， sacrificing God knows how many years of what， in truth， is a piece of parchment that in truth has been so devalued by our instant gratification culture as to have been rendered meaningless—will join in congratulating me. （Laughter） Thank you.

But today isn't about how my presence here devalues this fine institution. It is about you， the graduates. I'm honored to be here to congratulate you today. （Applause） Today is the day you enter into the real world， and I should give you a few pointers on what it is. It's actually not that different from the environment here. The biggest difference is you will now be paying for things， （laughter） and the real world is not surrounded by three-foot brick wall. And the real world is not a restoration. If you see people in the real world making bricks out of straw and water， those people are not colonial re-enactors—they are poor. （Laughter） Help them. And in the real world， there is not as much candle lighting. I don't really know what it is about this campus and candle lighting， but I wish it would stop. （Laughter） We only have so much wax， people. （Laughter）

Let's talk about the real world for a moment. We had been discussing it earlier， and I…I wanted to bring this up to you earlier about the real world， and this is I guess as good a time as any. I don't really know to put this， so I'll be blunt. We broke it. （Laughter）

Please don't be mad. （Laughter） I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed. So， sorry. （Laughter）

I don't know if you've been following the news lately， but it just kinda got away from us. Somewhere between the gold rush of easy internet profits and an arrogant sense of endless empire， we heard kind of a pinging noise， and uh， then the damn thing just died on us. （Laughter） So I apologize.

But here's the good news. You fix this thing， you're the next greatest generation， people. （Cheers and laughter） You do this—and I believe you can—you win this war on terror， and Tom Brokaw's kissing your ass from here to Tikrit， let me tell ya. （Laughter） And even if you don't， you're not gonna have much trouble surpassing my generation. If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked guy pile of enemy prisoners and don't give the thumbs up you've outdid us.

We declared war on terror. We declared war on terror—it's not even a noun， so， good luck. After we defeat it， I'm sure we'll take on that bastard ennui. （Laughter）

But obviously that's the world. What about your lives？ What piece of wisdom can I impart to you about my journey that will somehow ease your transition from college back to your parents' basement？ （Laughter）

I know some of you are nostalgic today and filled with excitement and perhaps uncertainty at what the future holds. I know six of you are trying to figure out how to make a bong out of your caps. （Laughter） I believe you are members of Psi U. （Cheers and laughter） Hey that did work， thank you for the reference. （Turn his head back to the committee on the stage）

So I thought I'd talk a little bit about my experience here at William and Mary. It was very long ago， and if you had been to William and Mary while I was here and found out that I would be the commencement speaker 20 years later， you would be somewhat surprised， and probably somewhat angry. （Laughter） I came to William and Mary because as a Jewish person I wanted to explore the rich tapestry of Judaica that is Southern Virginia. （Applause） Imagine my surprise when I realized “The Tribe” was not what I thought it meant. （Laughter）

In 1980 I was 17 years old. When I moved to Williamsburg， my hall was in the basement of Yates， which combined the cheerfulness of a bomb shelter with the prison-like comfort of the group shower. As a freshman I was quite a catch. Less than five feet tall， yet my head is the same size it is now. （Laughter） Didn't even really look like a head， it looked more like a container for a head. I looked like a Peanuts character. Peanuts characters had terrible acne. But what I lacked in looks I made up for with a repugnant personality. （Laughter） You could say that my one saving grace was academics where I excelled， but I did not. （Laughter）

And yet now I live in the rarified air of celebrity， of mega stardom. My life a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabala center brunches with the cast of Friends. （Laughter） At least that's what my handlers tell me. I'm actually too valuable to live my own life and spend most of my days in a vegetable crisper to remain fake news anchor fresh.

So I know that the decisions that I made after college worked out. But at the time I didn't know that they would. See college is not necessarily predictive of your future success. And it's the kind of thing where the path that I chose obviously wouldn't work for you. For one， you're not very funny. （Laughter）

So how do you know what is the right path to choose to get the result that you desire？ And the honest answer is this. You won't. And accepting that greatly eases the anxiety of your life experience.

I was not exceptional here， and am not now. I was mediocre here. And I'm not saying aim low. Not everybody can wander around in an alcoholic haze and then at 40 just， you know， decide to be president. You've got to really work hard to try to… （Laughter and constant cheers） I was actually referring to my father. （Laughter）

When I left William and Mary I was shell-shocked. Because when you're in college it's very clear what you have to do to succeed. And I imagine here everybody knows exactly the number of credits they needed to graduate， where they had to buckle down， which introductory psychology class would pad out the schedule. You knew what you had to do to get to this college and to graduate from it. But the unfortunate， yet truly exciting thing about your life， is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. The paths are infinite and the results uncertain. And it can be maddening to those that go here， especially here， because your strength has always been achievement. So if there's any real advice I can give you it's this.

College is something you complete. Life is something you experience. So don't worry about your grade， or the results or success. Success is defined in myriad ways， and you will find it， and people will no longer be grading you， but it will come from your own internal sense of decency which I imagine， after going through the program here， is quite strong…although I'm sure downloading illegal files…but， nah， that's a different story. （Applause）

Love what you do. Get good at it. Competence is a rare commodity in this day and age. And let the chips fall where they may.

And the last thing I want to address is the idea that somehow this new generation is not as prepared for the sacrifice and the tenacity that will be needed in the difficult times ahead. I have not found this generation to be cynical or apathetic or selfish. They are as strong and as decent as any people that I have met. And I will say this， on my way down here I stopped at Bethesda Naval， and when you talk to the young kids that are there that have just been back from Iraq and Afghanistan， you don't have the worry about the future that you hear from so many that are not a part of this generation but judging it from above. （Applause）

And the other thing….that I will say is， when I spoke earlier about the world being broke， I was somewhat being facetious， because every generation has their challenge. And things change rapidly， and life gets better in an instant.

I was in New York on 9-11 when the towers came down. I lived 14 blocks from the twin towers. And when they came down， I thought that the world had ended. And I remember walking around in a daze for weeks. And Mayor Giuliani had said to the city， “You've got to get back to normal. We've got to show that things can change and get back to what they were.”

And one day I was coming out of my building， and on my stoop， was a man who was crouched over， and he appeared to be in deep thought. And as I got closer to him I realized， he was … （Editor Note： Adult content. Google it when you are 18） And that's when I thought， “You know what， we're gonna be OK.” （Laughter and Applause）

Thank you. Congratulations. I honor you. （Constant cheers） Good Night.