挖掘伏筆，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)

廣東 陳麗芳

【問題導(dǎo)讀】

讀后續(xù)寫，簡言之，就是閱讀完一篇還未寫完的文章之后，根據(jù)要求和提示把這篇文章未寫完的部分補(bǔ)充完整，使之渾然一體?？忌谧x后續(xù)寫中往往存在以下問題：閱讀原文時不知道如何挖掘原文中的可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)為續(xù)寫所用，續(xù)寫時缺少與原文的合理銜接與連貫，續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容或角度嚴(yán)重偏離原文。在一篇完整的文章中，作者通常會圍繞某個主題來寫，在篇首或篇中設(shè)置伏筆，在這里，我們統(tǒng)稱為可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，并在篇尾進(jìn)行合理照應(yīng)?？衫m(xù)寫點(diǎn)往往出現(xiàn)在續(xù)寫原文中，考生如果能深入解讀原文，挖掘合理的可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，并在續(xù)寫時適時照應(yīng)，那么考生所續(xù)寫的段落在語言、內(nèi)容、邏輯上便可能符合原文基調(diào)。這種文理通順、合情合理的續(xù)寫段落往往能讓閱卷老師產(chǎn)生心靈上的共鳴或收獲意外的閱讀驚喜，續(xù)寫得分自然就提高了。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

每篇文章都有各自獨(dú)特的寫作思路，通過精讀文章，找到該篇文章的寫作線索和伏筆，有利于考生“順藤摸瓜”，從而順利進(jìn)行續(xù)寫。以下是幾種常見的尋找可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)的方式：

1.把握故事背景，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)

高考中的讀后續(xù)寫一般是記敘文，考生可以通過畫表格的方式把握故事的背景：時間、地點(diǎn)、人物和事件。故事的背景都隱藏著故事的發(fā)展線索，通過分析故事的背景，考生可以找到情節(jié)發(fā)展的大致方向。

2.厘清故事情節(jié)，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)

續(xù)寫短文多以記敘文故事類文章或者敘議類文章為主，故事的情節(jié)曲折、起伏，但是，故事線索的邏輯性比較強(qiáng)?？忌梢酝ㄟ^畫思維導(dǎo)圖的方式，迅速找到可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，從而順著原文的思路續(xù)寫文章，并適當(dāng)發(fā)散。

3.提煉原文主題，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)

主題是一篇文章的靈魂，是對寫人、記事、寫景、狀物等內(nèi)容的概括和提煉?？忌梢杂谩昂稳撕螘r何地做了何事，結(jié)果如何，為什么”的句式概括主題。在續(xù)寫時，續(xù)寫內(nèi)容要時刻緊扣主題。續(xù)寫結(jié)尾內(nèi)容可以照應(yīng)首段，達(dá)到首尾呼應(yīng)、升華主題的效果。

4.抓住關(guān)鍵詞，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)

關(guān)鍵詞是指在續(xù)寫原文中多次出現(xiàn)、頻繁使用、具有重要含義的詞。續(xù)寫的關(guān)鍵詞是原文中反復(fù)出現(xiàn)或重點(diǎn)描寫的特定物品或場景。如果考生能在閱讀中有意識地留意這些關(guān)鍵詞，并在續(xù)寫中適時照應(yīng)，那么續(xù)寫段落在內(nèi)容、邏輯和情節(jié)上就會更加融洽。

5.品讀續(xù)寫首句，捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)

讀后續(xù)寫不是隨心所欲，是要在續(xù)寫段落開頭語的幫助下完成續(xù)寫部分。所續(xù)寫部分不能脫離各自段落的開頭語，即不能另起爐灶。這些開頭語與傳統(tǒng)寫作中的開頭語類似，在某種程度上引導(dǎo)考生的思路。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

I sat in the chair in our living room, staring at my parents, who had just given me the news that my hero, best friend and grandpa had Alzheimer's disease (阿爾茨海默氏病). I did not want to believe it.Alzheimer's disease would slowly rob my grandpa of his intellect and his social abilities,severely enough to interfere with daily functioning.It has no known cure.

The thought of that happening to my grandpa scared me. How could someone who I love so much and who lived such a great life slowly lose his memories of everything around him?All I could do was cry and think of all the sweet times we used to have.

“Grandpa!”I called, as I ran at full speed into his arms just like every Sunday afternoon before. He opened his arms and braced for the leap. He was a strong man with welcoming eyes and never ending love. I was about six years old, and we had carried on this tradition every Sunday since I could walk. It was something I looked forward to when Mom said,“Get ready,we are going to Grandpa's.”

As we headed inside the house,I smelt the sweet smell of Grandma's cooking.Grandpa put his arms around me and gave me a tight squeeze that was all too familiar.Since my dad worked a second shift job and someone needed to watch me, Grandpa was like a second father and we had a deep connection.“I love you, Grandpa,”I said.“I love you too, my pretty Morgan,”he replied.

The dinner table was not just a place where we had a good meal, but also a place where we laughed together. We talked about the things that had happened since our last encounter and shared stories of the past. Then came my favorite part of any meal—dessert,which Grandpa and I shared an equal love.As always,Grandpa headed to the kitchen and I closed my eyes,put my arms across my chest,and waited.Being the curious kid that I was,I asked when he was coming back at least five times. He used that to teach me patience.We shared a moment no one else would understand.

Memories washed over me. As I came back to the present and reality, my eyes were watery.I rushed to his home to see him.

注意：續(xù)寫的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1:

I was sitting across from him at the table.

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Paragraph 2:

The role of grandchild and grandparent switched.

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一、梳理故事背景

本文講述的是“我”從父母那里得知爺爺?shù)昧税柎暮Ｄ喜『蟮男那?，在去看望爺爺?shù)穆飞希拔摇币贿吇貞浺贿吶滩蛔”瘋?/p>

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二、厘清故事情節(jié)

三、捕捉可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)

可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)伏筆語言故事背景I、my hero, best friend and grandpa、Alzheimer's disease續(xù)寫時可照應(yīng)語言續(xù)寫第一段可以寫：As usual, I shouted loudly“Grandpa!”Nevertheless, this time he just raised his head simply and stared at me with empty eyes,and without making any response.故事情節(jié)memories、the present and reality續(xù)寫第一段可以寫：The cool wind from the window intensified my thoughts of Grandpa about whether he would forget me.續(xù)寫分析背景的可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)往往是事情發(fā)生的時間、地點(diǎn)或人物的身份、特征，故我們可選擇grandpa、Alzheimer's disease為可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)，特別強(qiáng)調(diào)爺爺很可能已經(jīng)認(rèn)不出“我”了原文基本上都在講述甜蜜的回憶。根據(jù)原文最后一段和續(xù)寫第一段的開頭語，我們可以判斷，“我”從回憶中回到現(xiàn)實(shí)，與爺爺面對面坐著?！拔摇碑?dāng)時的心情是難過的、害怕的，害怕爺爺忘記自己原文主題“I love you,Grandpa,”I said.“I love you too,my pretty Morgan,”he replied.續(xù)寫第二段的結(jié)尾可以寫：Although he may always forget who I am, I still show my greatest love to him because I strongly believe that love can break down all the barriers between us.本文的主題非常清晰：“我”和爺爺之間的愛。所以在續(xù)寫時我們要一直緊扣主題，在結(jié)尾時更要突出主題——愛，以此來呼應(yīng)并升華主題關(guān)鍵詞love、dessert續(xù)寫第二段可以寫：I walked towards the kitchen, took off my coat and started to cook the dessert. Step by step, I finished it ultimately. When I put it in front of Grandpa, there seemed to be magic. Grandpa opened his mouth slightly and said in a gentle voice,“Thanks,my pretty Morgan.”所給段首句①I was sitting across from him at the table.②The role of grandchild and grandparent switched.續(xù)寫第一段可以寫：The fearful thoughts quickly swallowed me. I stayed there like a frozen wood.續(xù)寫第二段可以寫：I walked towards the kitchen, took off my coat and started to cook the dessert.文章從頭到尾重復(fù)出現(xiàn)最多次的單詞就是love，所以love是貫穿全文的主線。同時dessert也是一個具有特殊意義的單詞，因?yàn)椤拔摇焙蜖敔敹继貏e喜歡吃甜品，所以在第二段角色交換的時候，輪到“我”去照顧爺爺了，“我”可以選擇做甜品給爺爺吃，既回應(yīng)關(guān)鍵詞又補(bǔ)充一個充滿愛的細(xì)節(jié)根據(jù)續(xù)寫第一段的首句，我們能夠確定接下來的寫作內(nèi)容，即“我”面對爺爺?shù)母惺?；根?jù)續(xù)寫第二段的首句，我們可以推斷接下來的內(nèi)容是“小時候爺爺照顧‘我’，現(xiàn)在輪到‘我’為爺爺做點(diǎn)什么”

【參考范文】

Paragraph 1:

I was sitting across from him at the table.The fearful thoughts quickly swallowed me.I stayed there like a frozen wood. The cool wind from the window intensified my thoughts of Grandpa about whether he would forget me. After a while, I took a deep breath, adjusted my facial expressions and began to catch his attention.As usual,I shouted loudly“Grandpa!”Nevertheless, this time he just raised his head simply and stared at me with empty eyes,and without making any response. Gradually, my eyes were watery, realizing that Grandpa was different from before.In this case,I told myself that I had to do something for Grandpa.Paragraph 2:

The role of grandchild and grandparent switched. I walked towards the kitchen, took off my coat and started to cook the dessert.Step by step,I finished it ultimately.When I put it in front of Grandpa, there seemed to be magic. Grandpa opened his mouth slightly and said in a gentle voice,“Thanks,my pretty Morgan.”Hearing these words,my heart seemed to be melted. From then on, I stick to cooking the dessert for him every Sunday afternoon.Although he may always forget who I am, I still show my greatest love to him because I strongly believe that love can break down all the barriers between us.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭語續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Through our lives,we can gain a lot and lose so much.But being honest should always be with us, as honesty is always regarded as a virtue. Every time I talk about the topic,something crowds in my mind as if it had just happened.

I was 19 and one morning, Dad told me I could drive him to Mijas and then take the car to a nearby garage to get it serviced.At that time,I had just passed the driving test,and I hardly had a chance to use the car,so I said yes without hesitation.

I drove Dad to Mijas, promising to pick him up at 4 pm, and then I went to a nearby garage, and put the car in there. Since I had several hours to spare. I decided to go to a movie theater near the garage to see a movie. However, I was so absorbed in the plot of the movie that I forgot the time. When the last movie finished, I looked at my watch—6 pm.I was two hours late!

I thought Dad would be very angry if he knew what I was doing. And he would never let me drive again. So I decided to make up an excuse. Then, I drove to the appointed place. Dad was sitting in a corner, waiting patiently. I first apologized for being late, and then I told him that I wanted to get here as soon as possible, but something was wrong with some of the main parts of the car.

I would never forget the way he looked at me.“I'm very disappointed that you thought you had to lie to me, Jason,”Dad looked at me again and said.“When you didn't show up on time,I called the garage and asked if there was anything wrong.They told me you never picked up the car.So,you see,I know there is nothing wrong with the car at all.”

注意：所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1:

A wave of guilt swept over me.

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Paragraph 2:

“I'm going to walk home now and think where I have gone wrong all these years,”Dad said to me.

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【評價導(dǎo)思】

1.我續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容是否緊扣文章的主題？我是如何回應(yīng)主題的？

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2.續(xù)寫這篇文章的時候，我找到了哪些可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)？我是如何照應(yīng)這些可續(xù)寫點(diǎn)的？

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3.在結(jié)尾升華時，我有沒有寫出讓自己感動的、富有哲理性的句子？

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