余音繞梁，寫(xiě)出別樣結(jié)尾

浙江 彭文國(guó)

【問(wèn)題導(dǎo)讀】

讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)要求我們根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。其核心是根據(jù)原文的情節(jié)，寫(xiě)出合適的故事結(jié)尾，即在準(zhǔn)確理解原文的基礎(chǔ)上，根據(jù)原文故事的發(fā)展，寫(xiě)出符合原文主旨、邏輯關(guān)系合理、語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格一致的結(jié)尾。因此，故事結(jié)尾情節(jié)的設(shè)計(jì)，是讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)的關(guān)鍵所在。那么，我們?nèi)绾尾拍軐?xiě)出既符合原文特點(diǎn)，又能深化主題、吸引讀者、引起共鳴、激發(fā)思考的結(jié)尾呢？

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

為了寫(xiě)出好的故事結(jié)尾，我們要做到以下幾點(diǎn)：

一、準(zhǔn)確理解原文故事的主旨

作者寫(xiě)一個(gè)故事，不僅僅是為了敘述一件事，而是通過(guò)一件事來(lái)表達(dá)其思想，或抑惡揚(yáng)善，或啟迪心靈，或美化心情，或傳播知識(shí)信息，等等。我們?cè)跇?gòu)思結(jié)尾時(shí)，一定要準(zhǔn)確理解原文所要表達(dá)的主旨，讓結(jié)尾符合原文主旨。

二、故事的結(jié)尾在語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格上要和原文保持一致

結(jié)尾只是原文的延續(xù)，因此，其必須跟原文渾然一體，尤其是在語(yǔ)言風(fēng)格上。續(xù)寫(xiě)部分結(jié)尾的用詞、句子結(jié)構(gòu)風(fēng)格都要和原文保持一致。

三、故事的結(jié)尾要思路新穎、引人入勝

為了讓讀者感到眼前一亮，不勝驚喜，同時(shí)有所啟迪，我們可以從以下視角著手：

1.拓展思維。續(xù)寫(xiě)故事時(shí)，我們要在保持原文主旨的基礎(chǔ)上突破保守思想，勇于探索不同的路徑。當(dāng)然，也要注意不能只貪圖獵奇，而使得情節(jié)荒誕。要在符合主旨、邏輯合理的前提下進(jìn)行合理的思考。

2.善于挖掘原文的隱含信息。很多故事的敘述會(huì)隱藏一些非常重要的信息詞匯，我們要善于發(fā)現(xiàn)并挖掘這樣的詞匯。如“案例導(dǎo)引”中的funny。

3.建立啟發(fā)思想、激發(fā)興趣的意識(shí)。我們寫(xiě)的故事，不要僅僅限于敘述故事本身，而應(yīng)該要有自己的生命，讓讀者耳目一新，能引起共鳴和思考，讓讀者有情感和態(tài)度的體驗(yàn)。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

A funny thing happened to Arthur when he was on the way to work one day.As he walked along Park Avenue near the First National Bank,he heard the sound of someone trying to start a car.He tried again and again but couldn't get the car moving.Arthur turned and looked inside at the face of a young man who looked worried.Arthur stopped and asked,“It looks like you've got a problem.”

“I'm afraid so.I'm in a big hurry and I can't start my car.”

“Is there something I can do to help?”Arthur asked.The young man looked at the two suitcases in the back seat and then said,“Thanks.If you're sure it wouldn't be too much trouble,you could help me get these suitcases into a taxi.”

“No trouble at all.I'd be glad to help.”

The young man got out and took one of the suitcases from the back seat.After placing it on the ground,he turned to get the other one.Just as Arthur picked up the first suitcase and started walking,he heard a long loud noise of an alarm.

It was from the bank.There had been a robbery(搶劫)!

Park Avenue had been quiet a moment before.Now the air was filled with the sound of the alarm and the shouts of people running from all directions.Cars stopped and the passengers joined the crowd in front of the bank.People asked each other,“What happened?” But everyone had a different answer.

Arthur,still carrying the suitcase,turned to look at the bank and walked right into the young woman in front of him.

She looked at the suitcase and then at him.Arthur was surprised.

“Why is she looking at me like that?” he thought.“The suitcase!She thinks I'm the bank thief!”

Arthur looked around at the crowd of people.He became frightened,and without another thought,he started to run.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫(xiě)短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫(xiě)部分分為兩段，每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫(xiě)好。

Paragraph 1：

As he was running,Arthur heard the young man shouting behind,“Stop!Stop! ”_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2：

The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

一、文本解讀

文章的基本脈絡(luò)如下：

故事的開(kāi)始，亞瑟在街上行走時(shí)看到一個(gè)年輕人遇到了困難。年輕人的汽車(chē)發(fā)動(dòng)不了，而他需要把兩個(gè)箱子搬到出租車(chē)上去。于是好心的亞瑟就幫他搬箱子。

而就在這時(shí)，銀行的警報(bào)器響了。現(xiàn)場(chǎng)一片混亂，人們四處跑動(dòng)。

亞瑟一邊搬運(yùn)東西，一邊回頭張望。由于沒(méi)有看清前面，所以撞到了一位女士。那位女士看著亞瑟，又看了看他手里的手提箱，似乎很懷疑亞瑟。

亞瑟?jiǎng)傞_(kāi)始還覺(jué)得很奇怪:那位女士為什么那樣看著自己？突然，他想起了手里提著的那個(gè)年輕人的箱子。聯(lián)想到銀行報(bào)警器，他察覺(jué)自己被誤認(rèn)為是搶劫犯了。想到這里，他極為恐懼，于是不假思索，開(kāi)始猛跑。

二、結(jié)尾設(shè)計(jì)

續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段的段首句：亞瑟開(kāi)始跑，而后面的年輕人在他后面大叫“站?。≌咀。　?/p>

續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段的段首句：出租車(chē)停在了警察局門(mén)口，亞瑟……

從所給的兩段的段首句可以看出，最終是亞瑟坐出租車(chē)去了警察局。而去了警察局最典型的結(jié)果就是文章中的男人是搶劫犯，亞瑟幫助警察抓住了壞人，立了大功。然而，這樣的設(shè)計(jì)其實(shí)和原文主旨不符，也沒(méi)有什么特別的吸引力。

在設(shè)計(jì)結(jié)尾的情節(jié)的時(shí)候，我們一定要注意文章開(kāi)始點(diǎn)明的funny thing，故事的最終發(fā)展一定要符合這個(gè)中心。也就是故事結(jié)尾必須和開(kāi)頭照應(yīng)，結(jié)尾應(yīng)該是一個(gè)funny story。只有結(jié)尾寫(xiě)出funny的特點(diǎn)，才符合文章主旨，有新意，才會(huì)讓讀者有會(huì)心一笑、回味無(wú)窮的感覺(jué)。

三、參考結(jié)尾

Paragraph 1：

As he was runnin g,Arthur heard the young man shouting behind,“Stop!Stop! ”But Arthur ran even faster.Just then,a taxi came along.Arthur stopped it immediately and threw himself into the back seat.As soon as he got in,he asked the driver to go to the Police Station.Considering the urgent situation,the driver pulled out the car and headed for the nearest Police Station.

Paragraph 2：

The taxi stopped in front of the Police Station and Arthur ran into it,shouting,“There's a bank robbery and I know the bank thief.”No sooner had Arthur told his story than the policemen headed for the bank without delay.When they arrived at the spot,they were surprised to find that the people who gathered before the bank were now crowding around the young man,who seemed quite worried.Finally,Arthur realized that he had made a mistake.The loud noise of the alarm was incorrectly made by the bank's system and nothing happened to the bank,but the young man was worried that someone had robbed his suitcase.

四、續(xù)寫(xiě)賞析

續(xù)寫(xiě)的結(jié)尾，在情節(jié)上設(shè)計(jì)新穎，沒(méi)有寫(xiě)亞瑟抓住了搶劫犯，而是以原文中的funny為設(shè)計(jì)的出發(fā)點(diǎn)，設(shè)計(jì)出了“誤會(huì)”的結(jié)尾。這樣的故事結(jié)尾輕松自然，讓讀者感受到了閱讀的愉悅，產(chǎn)生了積極的情感體驗(yàn)，可以說(shuō)余音繞梁，回味無(wú)窮。

同時(shí)，續(xù)寫(xiě)結(jié)尾使用了非常具有語(yǔ)境感的詞匯和句子結(jié)構(gòu)，為文章敘述的故事增加了緊張效果。如“Arthur stopped it immediately and threw himself into the back seat.”這里的immediately和threw himself into非常形象地描述了當(dāng)時(shí)的情景。

“Considering the urgent situation,the driver pulled out the car and headed to the nearest Police Station.”此處，pull out非常好地描述了汽車(chē)快速?zèng)_出的情景。

“No sooner had Arthur told his story than the policemen headed for the bank without delay.”這里用了no sooner...than...的結(jié)構(gòu)，將警察快速出動(dòng)的情景描繪得淋漓盡致。

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫(xiě)，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

Having held the inter-school storytelling championship for the past two years,I was the shining star of my school.When it came to choosing the right candidate to participate in such competitions,I was always the first choice.Naturally,I was once again selected to represent my school in the approaching contest this year.

Upon hearing the fact that I was chosen again,my classmates and friends acknowledged that I would undoubtedly emerge as the champion again.Consequently,I became conceited.I was so proud that I neglected the importance of practicing for the contest.

A week before the contest,my teacher Ms Sara asked,“Selena,would you like to stand in front of the class to rehearse for the contest?”She had tutored me in the past two competitions and knew how important practice was.“Just imagine you are on the stage in the presence of the audience,”she added.

“I'm sorry,Ms Sara,” I replied.“I have a bit of a sore throat.”

This was usually the lie I would tell whenever my teacher requested me to practice in front of the class.I always found excuses to avoid doing it because I believed that I was the best and therefore the practice was unnecessary.On one occasion,I even told Ms Sara not to worry too much as I was well prepared for the contest.In fact,I did everything but practice my script.I only managed to glance briefly through the story the day before the contest.As the best storyteller among the students of the local secondary schools,I was too vain to practice and expected everything to be fine.

The contest was being held in the local community hall.On the day of the contest,the hall was packed.My school teachers and principal were there along with many of my classmates and schoolmates.I was the eighth contestant out of twenty in total.Those who spoke before me did extremely well.On seeing their fascinating and outstanding performance,I began to lose confidence in myself.My palms sweated heavily and I started to feel nervous.

注意：

1.所續(xù)寫(xiě)短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右；

2.續(xù)寫(xiě)部分分為兩段，每段的開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)已為你寫(xiě)好。

Paragraph 1:

Soon,it was my turn to talk._____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Paragraph 2:

Finally,results were announced after the contest._________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

參考范文

Paragraph 1:

Soon,it was my turn to talk.Facing the crowd,I found myself suffering from stage fright.I spoke in an expressionless voice and even stuttered a few times as I forgot parts of the story.My legs trembled and so did my voice.On seeing my terrible performance,the judges shook their heads.The supporters from my school looked at me in disappointment.I have never been so embarrassed in my life.In the end,I walked off the stage,my eyes filled with tears.

Paragraph 2:

Finally,results were announced after the contest.I did not win any prizes—not even a consolation one.It was not surprising at all.I felt ashamed when I faced my classmates and,of course,Ms Sara.I regretted overestimating myself.My vanity had cost me the championship.But Ms Sara didn't blame.She just gave me a hug and said,“I am sure you have learned enough.”Definitely she was right,I had learned my lesson well and finally understood the meaning of the two sayings, “Pride goes before a fall.” and “Practice makes perfect! ”

【評(píng)價(jià)導(dǎo)思】

1.續(xù)寫(xiě)的故事情節(jié)符合原文的主旨嗎？

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

2.故事的結(jié)尾反映了什么樣的主題？是否可以觸動(dòng)心靈、發(fā)人深??？

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3.續(xù)寫(xiě)部分用詞有什么特點(diǎn)？能幫助提升情節(jié)語(yǔ)境嗎？

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________