Love Around Us

陳傳光 男 江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學(xué)高級教師，從事教育工作近二十年。江蘇省教育學(xué)會會員，連云港市優(yōu)秀教育園丁，英語專業(yè)技能大賽市一等獎，班主任基本功大賽市一等獎;有多篇論文在各主流和核心期刊上發(fā)表;指導(dǎo)學(xué)生在各類競賽中取得了優(yōu)異成績，多人獲得省級獎和地市級獎。

Love Around Us

Love is around us. At home， I feel the love from my parents. At school， I feel the love from my classmates and teachers. Even on the street， I feel love from strangers.

Last Sunday， I went out to buy some novels. It was hot. I felt a bit sick. I stopped calling① my mother. Then I found I cant② speak. Two little girls came along. They found I was pale， so they called 120. Doctors came and treated me in time. Two hours later， I was fine. Both my parents and I were moved by the girls. For they helped me， though they didnt know me.

Ive made up my mind helping③ anyone who needs help， because love means to care.

江蘇省連云港市羅陽中學(xué)七（1）班 王芹芹

1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn)：

本文開頭列舉了我們身邊的各種愛，給文章營造了很好的氛圍。在敘述陌生人幫助自己的時(shí)候，條理清晰、簡明有序。結(jié)尾句和前面上下呼應(yīng)，為全文點(diǎn)睛之筆。整篇文章文字流暢、用詞得當(dāng)，是一篇不錯的學(xué)生習(xí)作。

2. 需要修改的地方：

①calling改為to call。stop doing sth.意為“停止正在做的事”，stop to do sth.意為“停止正在做的事，去干別的事”。

②cant改為couldnt。從句的時(shí)態(tài)要與主句的時(shí)態(tài)保持一致。

③helping改為to help。made up ones mind to do sth.意為“決定做某事”。

3. 評分：

按江蘇省連云港市中考英語作文滿分25分的評分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)，本文修改前可得23分。