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    Rabbi’s New Car感謝上帝

    2019-09-10 07:22:44拉里·約瑟夫聞春國
    英語世界 2019年6期
    關(guān)鍵詞:感謝上帝宗教界銷售員

    拉里·約瑟夫 聞春國

    In a religious area of New York, a Rabbi2 left the pulpit to open up a business. After working very hard for several years and finally making some money, he decided to purchase a new automobile.

    Upon entering the local new car dealer, he was quickly spotted by the salesman.

    “Have I got a car for you!” he exclaimed, unable to conceal his delight at finding an obviously religious man. The Rabbi turned business man, dressed in a dark suit, sporting a long beard, looked at the sales man in apprehension.

    “What do you mean?”

    “Ah ha,” the salesman said rubbing his hands together. “Let me show you the latest technological advance. An American car with Israeli designed computerized digital commands.”

    “W-What’s that?” the Rabbi asked hesitatingly.

    “Come right here and let me show you. You will never believe your eyes.” The salesman opened the door of the new and shiny sedan. “Please sit down and I will show you.”

    “A one of a kind, I tell you. You won’t believe your eyes. You see this car has no pedals. That’s right no gas pedal and no brake pedal.”

    “B-But how do you stop and start?”

    “Ah, that’s the beauty of this, with the Israeli computerized technology all you have to do is to speak and the digital processor will convert your voice into an electronic signal that tells the motor what to do.”

    “I don’t believe it.”

    “Watch, it’s true. This was programmed for the religious consumer. To start, just say ‘Baruch HaShem’3.” (Hebrew: Thank God.) As the salesman spoke those words the car began to drive.

    The Rabbi, was taken back, “Wow, I don’t believe it! How do you stop the car?”

    “That’s no problem, all you have to say is ‘Shema Yisroel’ (the prayer declaring the unity of God) and the car will stop.” As the salesman spoke those words, the car rolled to a halt.

    “It’s as easy as can be, just say ‘Baruch HaShem’ to start and when you want to stop just say ‘Shema Yisroel’.”

    The Rabbi was very impressed and bought the car on the spot.

    Entering the car he said the magic words, ‘Baruch HaShem’ and the car was soon heading out and on to the local highway. Soon the Rabbi had left the city behind and was looking at the beautiful country scenery.

    As the car continued, the Rabbi failed to notice a sign saying that the road is closed. As the car continued it went up onto a half completed bridge.

    “Oh no! We are going to crash!”

    Instinctively his feet searched in vain for the brake pedal, but there was none to be found. “What do I say, WHAT DO I SAY?。?!” panicking he could not remember what the salesman had told him. His mind was a blank and the car was approaching the end of the unfinished bridge, together with a majestic plunge into a ravine, hundreds of feet below.

    “This is the end!” the Rabbi thought. And preparing for death he began to declare the unity of God. “Shema Yisroel!” he said, and in a moment the car screeched to a stop with half of the car resting in a tilted manner, precariously over the bridge.

    The Rabbi, soaked with perspiration, removed his trembling hand from his forehead, and looked at the miracle and exclaimed with deep feeling ‘BARUCH HASHEM’.

    在美國紐約的一個猶太教區(qū),一位拉比離開了講壇,開辦了一家公司。經(jīng)過幾年的苦心經(jīng)營,他終于掙了一些錢。于是,他決定購置一輛新車。

    一走進(jìn)當(dāng)?shù)啬羌倚萝嚱?jīng)銷店,銷售員馬上便看見了他。

    “我這兒正好有一輛為您量身打造的新車。”他興奮地說道??吹竭@位宗教界人士,銷售員無法掩飾內(nèi)心的喜悅。這位拉比轉(zhuǎn)行成了商人,穿著一套黑色的西服,留著惹人注目的大胡子,神情疑惑地看著銷售員。

    “你這話是什么意思?”

    “啊哈!”銷售員搓著雙手,“我給您展示一下最新的技術(shù)成果。這是一輛美國汽車,里面裝有以色列人設(shè)計的電腦控制數(shù)字指令系統(tǒng)?!?/p>

    “什……什么?”拉比疑惑地問。

    “您過來,我給您演示一下。您看了也絕對不會相信的?!变N售員打開了那輛锃光瓦亮新車的門,“您請坐。我會給您演示的。

    “告訴您吧,這輛車獨一無二。您就是親眼看見了也不會相信。您看,這輛車沒有任何剎車系統(tǒng)。不錯!氣動剎車和腳踏剎車一概沒有!”

    “可……可你怎么停車,又怎么啟動呢?”

    “嗯,這正是它的美妙之處。采用以色列人發(fā)明的電腦控制技術(shù),您只需要開口說話,數(shù)字處理器會將您的聲音轉(zhuǎn)換成一種電子信號,指示汽車如何運行。”

    “我不相信。”

    “的確如此。您看,這是為宗教界客戶預(yù)先設(shè)置的駕駛程序。想要啟動的話,您只要說‘感謝上帝’就行了?!变N售員剛說完這句話,汽車便開始行駛了。

    見此情景,拉比大吃一驚?!巴?,我簡直不敢相信!那你又怎么停下車子呢?”

    “這也沒有任何問題。您只需說一聲‘聽啊,以色列’(超度亡靈的禱告詞),汽車就會自動停下?!变N售員剛說完這句話,汽車便停了下來。

    “這簡直太方便了!想啟動就說一聲‘感謝上帝’,想停車就說一聲‘聽啊,以色列’?!?/p>

    拉比對這輛汽車印象非常深刻,當(dāng)即便買了下來。

    坐進(jìn)車子,他說了那句神奇的指令“感謝上帝”,汽車便即刻飛奔而出,很快駛進(jìn)了當(dāng)?shù)氐囊粭l高速公路。轉(zhuǎn)眼之間,拉比將這座城市遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)甩在了身后,沿途的鄉(xiāng)村美景盡收眼底。

    汽車?yán)^續(xù)前行,拉比并沒有注意到前面的一個行車指示牌:此路不通。很快,汽車駛?cè)胍蛔形赐旯さ臉蛄骸?/p>

    “噢,不!這下,我可要粉身碎骨了!”

    他的腳本能地在下面搜索著剎車踏板,可什么也沒找到?!拔以撜f什么,我該說什么?。。。 痹跇O度慌亂之中,他一下子忘記了汽車銷售員是怎么跟他交代的。此時此刻,他的腦子里一片空白。汽車漸漸接近那座尚未完工的大橋盡頭,轉(zhuǎn)眼就要跌入下面深達(dá)幾百英尺的大峽谷。

    “這下可完了?!崩刃南?。面對死亡,他開始為自己祈禱:“聽啊,以色列!”話音剛落,汽車哧的一聲停了下來,半截車身斜在大橋上,搖搖欲墜。

    拉比驚出了一身冷汗。他將顫抖的雙手從眼前移開,看著眼前的奇跡,情不自禁地發(fā)出了一聲感嘆:“感謝上帝!”

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