Adopting an Abandoned Baby: A Family’s Experience棄嬰收養(yǎng)記

帕蒂·沃爾德邁爾 羅小藝

As stories go， the tale of how a desperately ill， nameless baby from China turned into Bella Xin KaLare Strickland of West Monroe， Louisiana， is an extraordinary one. Three short years ago， a friend and I found the newborn， swaddled1 in several layers of clothing and abandoned in a Shanghai alleyway. Three years later she is a stroppy2 toddler， living a charmed life in sunny Louisiana.

Baby Bella， was nicknamed “Baby Donuts” by the press， given for the Dunkin’ Donuts outlet where her birth parents chose to leave her in December 2010. She was about six weeks old. More than 110，000 children born in China have been adopted by families overseas in the past two decades.

A friend and I found her one night， only steps from one of Shanghai’s top hotels. She was lying on top of two plastic bags that bulged with new baby clothes， tins of infant formula， packs of newborn nappies and scrubbed3-clean baby bottles： the only love note a mother could dare to leave， for a child she would never know.

The fact that her parents chose to leave her at a place frequented by foreigners may mean they wanted her to end up living overseas. Or maybe they didn’t. Maybe they wanted a healthy baby， if they were only going to have one child. Bella has a number of disabilities， including a congenital4 heart defect， blindness in both eyes from cataracts and a partially webbed5 foot. Perhaps her parents simply couldn’t cope.

In lots of ways， theirs was an entirely rational decision： in China， many families have only minimal health insurance， and the cost of all the surgery Baby Donuts needed could have bankrupted even a family of substantial means.

What seems less rational is why LaKasha and Jeremy Strickland， living on a shoestring6 in a town 12，000km away， felt able， not to mention willing， to do for Baby Donuts what her birth family could not. Even their US adoption agency， through which they first heard about Bella， warned them off， saying the baby had “too many red flags”. When they started the adoption process in July 2012， the couple had just $100 in savings. Jeremy had been medically retired from the US Air Force for chronic headaches and LaKasha had just left her job to become more involved with her church. Adopting a child with serious medical needs wasn’t the obvious next move.

But the Stricklands are clear about why they did it： among other things， because God wanted them to. “God put adoption in our hearts，” LaKasha says. “God stirred our hearts and we started searching.” It can cost upwards of $30，000 to adopt a special needs child from China， including paperwork， translations and travel costs. Raising such a child， even in the promised land of Obamacare7， will doubtless cost considerably more （in spite of Jeremy’s excellent medical insurance as an ex-serviceman）.

Undeterred， the Stricklands launched a “Bring Baby Bella to America” campaign in October 2012， enlisting family， friends， members of their church and even the Bible to fundraise. They set up a tent in the parking lot of the local Walmart to sell T-shirts emblazoned with these words from James8 1：27： “Pure and lasting religion in the sight of God our Father is to care for orphans in their troubles.” They sold 260 plates of “chicken cheesy spaghetti” at a church lunch， raising $2，500. They even stood at traffic lights with a bucket and a poster of Bella， collecting dollar bills.

Their experience at the traffic lights yielded both cash and encouragement. “It was so hard at first， feeling silly and prideful，” she writes. “But after a little wait a few cars started pulling in9 and asking about her and putting dollars in our bucket.

And then there was the miracle of the $3，110 bank deposit： the Stricklands have never figured out exactly where it came from， but they do know that $3，110 was exactly what they needed to pay for the “home study” 10 by social workers， which is a prerequisite of any adoption from China. And there was the former sister-in-law who borrowed $4，000 to help them， and the bank employee who cleared the way， unexpectedly， for the Stricklands to refinance their home.

Bella became a member of the family long before she got to Louisiana. On her second birthday （which she spent in the orphanage）， the Stricklands posed for a family portrait， each clutching a donut， to symbolise their bond with the baby. LaKasha even dyed her hair black before they flew to Shanghai， so that Bella would not be too shocked at her appearance.

I adopted my own two （healthy） Chinese daughters as infants in 2000 and 2002 using the money I had saved during a lifetime of working. Most adoptive parents go through the same agonising moment when an orphanage nanny hands us our child—and they shriek in outrage. Bella， then two-and-a-half years old， went one better： she tried to escape.

But by the time I joined the family 48 hours later， Bella had already begun to blossom. I remembered a beautiful newborn in a blanket： what I saw two years later was a determined， winsome and mischievous toddler， tripping off on her little spindly legs to explore her surroundings.

LaKasha， Jeremy and Peyton were all besotted with her already， pointing out the cataracts in her eyes and the webbing of her toes like other parents might brag about dimples， and inviting me to feel the prow-like protrusion11 of her ribcage12 left after her heart defect had its initial repair.

Later we took Bella to the Dunkin’ Donuts where our story began， in the company of my friend John Fearon， the British businessman who first heard her abandoned cries. Not surprisingly， she couldn’t have cared less （especially since the donut shop had closed）. But we adults all spent a moment feeling the tragic miracle that is every Chinese adoption—and the pain of birth parents who cannot keep their child.

Bella is now “settling in beautifully” to her new life. “She is constantly competing with her brother. If he talks she talks louder. She is so smart： she loves to count and sing and say her prayers all by herself，” LaKasha says.

LaKasha hopes Bella’s birth parents may one day read these words， and know they can find their baby living happily in Louisiana. But unless and until they do， no one need worry about Baby Donuts. She’s just where she needs to be. Hallelujah.

一個身患重疾、無名無姓的中國棄嬰，最終成為生活在路易斯安那州西門羅市的貝拉·辛·卡拉爾·斯特里克蘭，這個故事是如此不同尋常。三年前，在上海一條弄堂里，我和一個朋友發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個裹著層層衣服的棄嬰。短短三年后，她已長成一個嬌蠻的學(xué)步幼童，在陽光明媚的路易斯安那州過著安樂無憂的生活。

媒體給小貝拉取了個昵稱“甜甜圈寶寶”——2010年12月，親生父母把她留在了一家唐恩都樂甜甜圈店外面。當(dāng)時，她差不多才6周大。過去20年，超過11萬出生于中國的孩子被外國家庭收養(yǎng)。

我和朋友是在夜里發(fā)現(xiàn)她的，地點離上海一家頂級酒店僅幾步之遙。她躺在兩個鼓鼓的塑料袋上，袋子里裝著嬰兒新衣服、幾罐配方奶粉、數(shù)包新生兒尿布和幾只擦洗得干干凈凈的奶瓶——這是一位母親有勇氣留下的唯一彰顯母愛的東西，留給她從此離別的孩子。

嬰兒父母選擇把她留在一個外國人經(jīng)常往來的地點，這可能意味著他們希望孩子最終能到國外生活。也許不是這個原因。如果只計劃要一個，他們可能想要健健康康的孩子。而貝拉疾病纏身，包括先天性心臟缺陷、白內(nèi)障導(dǎo)致的雙目失明和部分并趾畸形。或許，她的父母只是難以承受。

從許多方面來看，他們的決定是完全理性的。在中國，許多家庭僅有最低限度的醫(yī)療保險，而“甜甜圈寶寶”需要的所有手術(shù)費用甚至高到會讓一個殷實之家破產(chǎn)。

相比之下，拉卡莎·斯特里克蘭和杰里米·斯特里克蘭似乎就不那么理性了。這對夫婦在1.2萬公里外的小鎮(zhèn)上過著清貧生活，可他們不僅愿意，而且覺得自己能夠為“甜甜圈寶寶”做到連親生父母都做不到的事。甚至連他們咨詢的美國領(lǐng)養(yǎng)機構(gòu)（他們通過這家機構(gòu)第一次得知貝拉的存在）也告誡他們，這個孩子身上有“太多不利因素”。2012年7月啟動領(lǐng)養(yǎng)程序時，他們只有100美元的積蓄。當(dāng)時杰里米因慢性頭痛已從美國空軍退休，拉卡莎也剛辭職，以便有更多時間投入教會活動。收養(yǎng)一個迫切需要醫(yī)療救治的孩子，顯然并非下一步該做的事。

但斯特里克蘭夫婦很清楚自己為什么要這樣做，其中一個原因就是，上帝希望他們這樣做。“上帝把收養(yǎng)孩子的念頭放進了我們心里?！崩ㄉf，“上帝撥動我們的心弦，于是我們開始尋找。”從中國收養(yǎng)一個有特殊需求的孩子，所需費用高達3萬美元，包括文書、翻譯費用和交通開支。而且，即便身處奧巴馬醫(yī)療法案之下的樂土，撫養(yǎng)這樣一個孩子長大無疑需要巨大的額外開銷（雖然杰里米作為退役軍人享有優(yōu)厚的醫(yī)療保險）。

斯特里克蘭夫婦毫不氣餒，他們在2012年10月發(fā)起名為“帶小貝拉來美國”的活動，借助家人、朋友、教會成員甚至《圣經(jīng)》的力量進行募捐。他們在當(dāng)?shù)匚譅柆數(shù)耐＼噲隼镏饠偽皇圪uT恤，T恤上印著《雅各書》第1章第27節(jié)經(jīng)文“在神我們的父面前，那清潔沒有玷污的虔誠，就是看顧在患難中的孤兒寡婦”。在一次教堂午餐會上，他們賣出260盤“雞肉芝士意大利面”，籌得2500美元。他們甚至拿著桶，舉著貝拉的海報站在紅綠燈前募集善款。

紅綠燈前的籌款經(jīng)歷讓他們既獲得了捐款，也受到了鼓舞?！耙婚_始確實很困難，感覺既愚蠢又自傲。”她寫道，“但沒過多久，就開始有幾輛車停下，他們詢問貝拉的情況，然后把錢放進我們的桶里。”

然后，奇跡般地出現(xiàn)了一筆3110美元的銀行存款。斯特里克蘭夫婦至今沒能找出這筆錢來自何處，但他們明白，3110美元恰恰是需要支付給社工進行家庭審查的費用，而家庭審查是從中國領(lǐng)養(yǎng)孩子的必經(jīng)程序。而且，有一位與他們曾有姻親關(guān)系的女子借給了他們4000美元。當(dāng)斯特里克蘭夫婦用住宅再次貸款時，還有一位銀行員工出乎意料地為他們排除了障礙。

在去往路易斯安那州之前，貝拉早已成為這個家庭的一分子。貝拉在孤兒院過兩歲生日那天，斯特里克蘭一家拍了張全家福，每人手里都握著一個甜甜圈，象征他們和這個孩子之間的聯(lián)系。拉卡莎甚至在飛往上海之前把頭發(fā)染成黑色，好讓貝拉不會對她的外表感到過于訝異。

2000年和2002年，我用一輩子的工作積蓄收養(yǎng)了兩個健康的中國女孩。當(dāng)孤兒院保姆把孩子交給我們時，我們經(jīng)歷了大多數(shù)養(yǎng)父母都會經(jīng)歷的痛苦時刻——孩子們憤怒嚎啕。而當(dāng)時兩歲半的貝拉做得更絕——她掙扎著要逃跑。

不過48小時之后，當(dāng)我與這一家人會合時，貝拉已經(jīng)展開笑靨。我不由得想起兩年前那個裹在毯子里的漂亮新生兒。兩年后再見，我看到的是一個蹣跚學(xué)步的孩童，堅定、可愛又淘氣，邁開纖細雙腿磕磕絆絆地探索周遭世界。

拉卡莎、杰里米和佩頓早已完全被她迷住，指著她眼睛里的白內(nèi)障和腳上的并趾給我看，就像其他父母夸耀自家孩子的酒窩那樣，還讓我觸摸她胸腔上的一塊突起之處，那是心臟缺陷接受初期修復(fù)手術(shù)后留下的。

隨后，我們帶著貝拉去了那家唐恩都樂甜甜圈店，那是故事開始的地方。 我的朋友約翰·費倫陪著我們，正是這位英國商人第一個聽到貝拉被遺棄時的啼哭聲。不出所料，貝拉對這個地方毫無反應(yīng)（尤其因為甜甜圈店已經(jīng)關(guān)門了）。但我們這些成年人都深深感懷，既為每一個收養(yǎng)中國孩子的故事里那蒙著悲傷色彩的奇跡，也為了親生父母無法養(yǎng)育自己骨肉的痛苦。

如今，貝拉正“愉快地適應(yīng)”新生活?！八龝r常和哥哥競爭。如果哥哥說話，她就說得更大聲。她很聰明，喜歡數(shù)數(shù)、唱歌、自己完整說出禱告詞?！崩ㄉf道。

拉卡莎希望，有一天貝拉的親生父母能讀到這些文字，能獲知自己的孩子正在路易斯安那州快樂地生活著。即便他們沒有讀到，也無須再為甜甜圈寶寶憂心掛念了。她就在她應(yīng)該在的地方，一切安好。哈利路亞。

（譯者為“《英語世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎選手）