在彩云之南，追求愛和真理

文/ David C.Lewis

中文里有個詞非常有用，叫作“不好意思”，其含義就是“尷尬的”。我經常能聽到這個詞或許是因為我是個外國人，更有可能對我周圍的人做一些蠢事，或者做一些令人尷尬的事情。在我眾多“不好意思”的時刻里，有一次是我第一次去上課，當面對一幫新學生時，我一開口講話，就開始流鼻血。這幫學生對他們新外教的第一印象就是：一個高高的外國人躺在地上，被很多學生圍著一邊遞紙巾一邊討論該怎么辦。

A Chinese phrase which is very useful to know is “不好意思” (bu hao yisi), which means ‘embarrassing’! Perhaps I hear the phrase quite often because as a foreigner I am more likely to make ‘gaffs’ or do things which are embarrassing to those around me! One of my more “不好意思” moments was when I arrived for the very fi rst class of a course with a new group of students: as soon as I began to speak, my nose started to bleed!This group’s fi rst experience of their new teacher was of a tall“外國人” (waiguoren – foreigner) lying on the fl oor surrounded by several students offering me not only tissues but also at least half a dozen suggestions about what to do!

之后，我意識到流鼻血可能是抗瘧藥物的一個副作用。我的大女兒在巴布亞新幾內亞的一個偏遠叢林醫(yī)院里當醫(yī)生，那個夏天我們去那里看望她的時候吃了這種藥。我的家人都分散在世界各地：大兒子和他的妻子、兩個女兒生活在中國北部；二兒子和他的妻子、女兒生活在英國；我們的另外兩個小女兒和我與妻子住在中國。

Later on, I learned that nosebleeds were a possible side-effect of the anti-malarial tablets that I had been taking that summer in Papua New Guinea when we were visiting our eldest daughter,who is a doctor at a remote jungle hospital. Our family is scattered in different parts of the world: our eldest son, with his wife and two daughters, are in the north of China and our second son, with his wife and daughter, live in England. Our two younger daughters live in China with my wife and myself.

To a large extent our decision to move to China arose out of a desire for our two youngest daughters to learn Chinese and to experience life in China. It was almost twenty years ago that Ruth,my wife, watched a television documentary about abandoned babies in China. Ruth felt that even though we already had three birth children we could also adopt such a Chinese child. We discussed it with our own three children, and in the end started on a long process of bureaucracy which led to our first visit to China in January 1998 to adopt Esther Xiufen, who was then nine months old. Two years later we repeated the process when we adopted Joanna Xiaoying, who was then eleven months old. At that time we were living in England, so the girls grew up speaking English as their mother tongue. However, we also wanted them to be able to appreciate their Chinese heritage.

很大程度上，我們搬到中國是因為我們想讓兩個小女兒學中文，讓她們有一段在中國的生活經歷。20年前，我的妻子露絲看了一個關于中國棄嬰的電視紀錄片。露絲覺得雖然我們已經有三個自己的孩子了，但我們可以收養(yǎng)一個中國孩子。我和我們的三個孩子經過討論后開始了漫長的收養(yǎng)過程。我們于1998年1月第一次到中國，收養(yǎng)了當時只有9個月大的Esther Xiufen（路秀芬）。兩年以后，我們又收養(yǎng)了11個月大的Joanna Xiaoying（路曉英）。那個時候我們住在英國，所以英語成為兩個小女兒的母語。然而，我們希望她們也能懂得欣賞她們的中國“遺產”。

Some years later I had a dream. In the dream it was as if I were standing on a mountain looking down at a new development on the outskirts of a city. I could see a new house, around which other houses and roads were being built. After waking up I did not think about the dream and would probably have forgotten it except for what happened two days later, when we took the girls to a beach. As they were playing in the sand, Ruth told me about a dream of hers the previous night in which she had seen a new house on the edge of a city with other houses and roads being built around it!

幾年后我做了個夢，夢里我站在山上往下看，看到了一個城市郊區(qū)的新發(fā)展。我看到了一棟新房子，房子周圍正在建造房屋和公路。我醒來之后并沒有去想這個夢，要是兩天后我沒帶我的小女兒們去沙灘邊的話我大概早就忘掉這個夢了。當孩子們在玩沙子時，露絲告訴了我前一晚她做的一個夢，夢里她在一個城市的郊區(qū)看到了一棟新房子，而房子周圍也在建造新的房屋和道路。

I was amazed and told Ruth that two nights previously I had dreamed the same dream. Did it literally mean that we should move to a new home somewhere in a new development on the edge of a city? Or was it more symbolic, meaning something like ‘a new start’? I think in the end it actually meant both of these. Ruth remembered a detail in her dream about red coloured earth. Now that we live in Chenggong, not far from the new Yunda campus, we are sometimes reminded of that dream when we look out over the surrounding area and see new buildings being constructed around us.

我震驚了！我告訴露絲兩天前我也做了同樣的夢。我在想，這是不是就意味著我們應該搬到一個城市新發(fā)展起來的區(qū)域？抑或是象征著一個“新的開始”？我想其實應該包含這兩方面的含義。露絲還記得她夢里的細節(jié)，那兒有紅土地?，F(xiàn)在我們住在呈貢，離云南大學新校區(qū)不是很遠，有時候我們看看周圍那些正在新建的建筑物就會想起這個夢。

在露絲的心里，她覺得這一定和中國有關。這也與我們想讓秀芬和曉英學習中文、體驗中國生活的想法相關聯(lián)。

At the time, Ruth felt that it had something to do with China. It linked in with our desire for Esther and Joanna to learn Chinese and to experience life in China.

如果我們本就該去中國的話，該去中國的哪里呢？我們在思考這個問題的時候，昆明總是能吸引我們的注意力。我們的一個朋友寄了一封信來邀請我們去昆明；之后我去參加劍橋大學的研討會，來自云南大學的教授講述了她在云南的研究。我在想這或許也是有意義的。研討會結束后，按慣例都會去附近的酒吧喝上一杯，當時我告訴她我們在考慮移居到中國，但是還不確定什么時候去，具體去哪個地方。盡管她給了我聯(lián)系方式，但是直到我移居中國后才聯(lián)系她，也正是她幫我在云南大學找到了教社會人類學的工作。

If we were supposed to go to China, which part of the country should we go to? While we were thinking about this, Kunming started to come to our attention in a number of ways. A friend of ours sent us a letter describing a visit to Kunming. Then I attended a seminar at Cambridge University at which a professor from Yunnan University was talking about her research in Yunnan. I wondered if this might be signif i cant. After the seminar it was the custom to go for a drink at a nearby pub, so there I mentioned to her that we were considering moving to China but were not sure when or to which part. Although she gave me her contact details, I did not make contact with her again until after we had actually moved to China. It was she who later helped me to get a job teaching Social Anthropology at Yunnan University.

就這樣我們來到昆明。一開始，我希望在昆明住一兩年，后來延長到了4個學年（2006年—2010年）。之后我們回到了英國，露絲可以陪陪她的老母親，她的母親于2011年去世了。這樣一來，小女兒們可以受到英國的初中教育。

In such ways we came to Kunming.Initially we had expected to live here just for a year or two but in the end it got extended to four academic years (2006 – 2010). We then moved back to the UK so that Ruth could spend signif i cant time with her elderly mother, who passed away in 2011, and so that the girls could experience a British secondary school education.

我們曾想過會回到英國住幾年，至少住到小女兒們完成她們的中等教育。然而，因為曉英想將來申請在大學讀醫(yī)科專業(yè)，那么在此之前讓她在英國接受完該階段的教育對她來說很重要。

We had thought we would be settled back in Britain for some years, at least until the girls had fi nished their secondary education.However, it would be important for Joanna to complete her schooling in Britain before she applies to do medicine at university.

2013年，我回到云南繼續(xù)任教兩年。住在呈貢，我們感覺就像回到家一樣。秀芬通過在當?shù)氐膸煼洞髮W上課繼續(xù)提高她的中文水平，而曉英一直在網上繼續(xù)她的英國教育。

From 2013 to 2015 we returned to Yunnan for a further two years, living in Chenggong, where we feel very much at home.Esther has been continuing to improve her Chinese by studying courses at the local ‘Normal’ University (師范大學), while Joanna has been continuing her British education online.

我們所有人都在不同程度地學習中文，但我大部分時間都用來備課和教學，同時也編輯其他學者寫的英文文章。我同樣受邀到俄羅斯和其他地方上課，這些工作縮短了我學習中文的時間。露絲和小女兒們進步得都比我快好多。

All of us have been studying Chinese to some extent but a lot of my time has been taken up with preparing my lectures and teaching them, as well as editing various articles that other academics have written in English. I have also been invited to teach at times in Russia or other places, which has reduced my available time for studying the Chinese language. Ruth and the girls have made much faster progress than I have.

其他讓我覺得進度很慢的還有慢跑！因為我的大部分工作是坐在桌子前，我嘗試每周在附近慢跑幾次。2007年，其他外國人一定見過我在慢跑，因為有一天露絲接到他們其中一個人打來的電話，詢問我是否可以參加一個第二天和當?shù)鼐斓呐懿奖荣?。我對這個比賽完全不了解，只知道第二天我該坐警察局的車到昆明西邊山上的一個地方去參加比賽。

Something else I thought I was slow at was jogging! Because most of my work is just sitting at a desk, I try to go for a jog a few times a week around the local area. In 2007 some of the other foreigners must have seen me doing this, as one day Ruth got a phone call from one of them asking if I could take part the next day in a race against the local police! I knew no other details except where I should go the next morning in order to be taken in a police vehicle to somewhere in the hills to the west of Kunming.

當我們到達那里，我發(fā)現(xiàn)這是在紀念一年前北京奧運會開幕。顯然，警察局是被要求組織一個國際型跑步比賽，所以他們需要邀請外國人參與。當我看到其他外國人時，我松了一口氣，因為他們看上去是一幫體格健美的巴西人，這似乎能讓我們外國人陣營不至于丟臉。

When we got there, I discovered that it was an event marking the day exactly one year before the opening of the Beijing Olympics. Apparently the police had been asked to organise an international running race, so they needed to invite foreigners to take part. As I looked around at the other foreigners, I was relieved to see a group of athletic-looking Brazilians who might be able to prevent us foreigners from losing face!

大概有80到100人參加了這個比賽。這些巴西人和很多警察超越了我，我當時已經是50歲的“老爺爺”了，但我堅持跑到了山頂。我不知道究竟需要跑多遠，但我堅持一直跑，并且超越一些警察，甚至超越了一些不適應高海拔的巴西年輕人。之后跑了兩公里多，我到達了山頂，以為比賽就結束了。當我坐下來時，有人清楚地告訴我必須再跑回去。于是，我再次跑起來，超越了更多的警察。當我最終到達山底時，我不知道我該去哪里，但有人領我去一個桌前，我把在山頂領到的卡上交了。

Probably eighty to one hundred of us took part. The Brazilians and many of the police shot ahead of me – at that time a fi fty year old grandfather – as I kept on jogging up the hill. I had no idea how far we had to run but I just kept going and found that I was passing some of the police and even the young Brazilians who were not used to the altitude. After more than two kilometres I reached the top and thought that was the end of the race.When I sat down, someone there made it clear to me that I had to run back down again. As I did so, I passed more policemen.When I eventually reached the bottom, I had no idea where I had to go but I was directed to a desk where I had to hand in a card that I had been given at the top of the hill.

在桌邊的一位女士用中文跟我說了一些話，但我沒聽懂，之后她就消失了。我猜她是想告訴我讓我等著，她去找一個能說英語的人過來，之后那個女士再次找到我，把我?guī)Щ氐阶狼?，這樣他們就可以記下我的名字。頒獎儀式上，最先是兩名中國男子領取獎品——一個花瓶，卻沒有一個證書證明他們在這次跑步比賽中的名次。之后我就聽到了我的名字，我走上前去，領取了我的獎品——花瓶，但我并不知道我到底是第一名還是第三名。直到現(xiàn)在我都沒搞清楚我到底是第幾名！

The woman at the desk said something to me in Chinese that I did not understand; then she disappeared. I guess she probably told me to wait until she found someone who could speak English but I was later found by that same lady, who brought me back to the desk so that they could make a note of my name.Later on, when there was a prize-giving ceremony, at fi rst two Chinese men were called forward to receive their prizes - a vase, without any certif i cate to show their position in the race.Then I heard my name being called. I went to the front to be given my vase, not sure whether I was in third place or first place. I never did fi nd out the answer to that one!

另一個難忘的事發(fā)生在2009年，當時將近有4000名人類學家來到昆明參加由云南大學舉辦的大型國際會議。在會議籌備期間，我除了準備其中一個展板，也幫忙做其他事務，如編輯會議手冊的英文版本。我僅僅把這個工作看作是需要去完成的任務，并沒有什么特別之處。所以，當我得知云南省政府頒發(fā)了一個獎牌以證明我對此事的貢獻，我有些受寵若驚了。在頒獎典禮上，我獲得了“彩云獎”，也叫作“友誼獎”。這些獎牌是由云南省副省長李江女士頒發(fā)的，云南省的其他一些主要官員也參加了頒獎典禮，我代表獲獎的外國專家作了發(fā)言。然而我覺得應該借此機會談談更深層次的問題，所以我接下來是這樣說的：

Another memorable event took place in 2009, when about 4,000 anthropologists descended on Kunming for a huge international congress held at Yunnan University. In preparing for that,besides organising one of the panels, I was sometimes called on to help with various arrangements and to edit the English version of the conference handbook. I just regarded this as something that needed to be done, not as anything special. So I was somewhat surprised when I was later told that I had been nominated to receive a medal from the Yunnan provincial government in recognition of my contributions.

At the award ceremony to receive this “彩云獎” (Cai Yun Jiang- Colourful Yunnan Prize), also referred to as a ‘Friendship Award’ (友誼獎, Youyi Jiang), the medals were presented by Her Excellency, Madam Lijiang, Vice Governor of Yunnan Province.Quite a few other leading officials of the province were also present. I was asked to give a speech on behalf of the foreigners who were receiving this award. Having been told that it was conventional to mention the progress that China has been making, I did what I was told in that regard. However, I also felt that I should address deeper issues, so I went on to say:

David在云南大學授課

“在云南大學，我欣賞許多學生對知識的渴望。然而，真正的知識遠不止是了解事實。智慧不會從圖書館得到。若沒有愛來平衡的話，對真理的追求可能讓我們變得很冷酷無情，就像沒有真相的愛讓我們變得柔弱無比。二者的結合會讓我們富有人性。

“At Yunnan University I admire the great desire for knowledge shown by many of the students. However, real knowledge is more than simply knowing facts. Wisdom cannot be borrowed from a library! A focus on Truth, if it is not balanced by Love,can make us become too hard, just as Love without Truth can make us too soft. The combination of both of these helps to make us human.”

“‘友誼獎’提醒我們，無論我們是來自中國還是其他地方，我們都是人類，都應該在愛和真理的基礎上負責任地和別人溝通。這些是任何一個持續(xù)發(fā)展的社區(qū)的基石，無論是一個家庭、一個企業(yè)抑或是一個國家。不管是個人還是國家，我們都應該去找尋真理，也要追尋愛的力量，這對我們很重要。在馬丁·路德·金博士的書《愛的力量》里，他提到我們需要的是‘堅韌的毅力和溫柔的心’。這是我們所有人都能運用到自己生活中的原則。我們所有人都行走在生命的旅途中，都有義務去找到出路、找到真理、找到人生?！?/p>

“The Friendship Award is a reminder that, whether we are from China or elsewhere, we are all fellow human beings with a responsibility to relate to other people on the basis of both Truth and Love. These are the foundation stones for any lasting community - whether it is a family, a business or a nation. Not only as individuals but also as nations it is important for us to seek not only the source of truth but also the strength to love. In his book ‘Strength to Love’ Dr.Martin Luther King says that what we need is a ‘tough mind and a tender heart’. That is a principle which all of us can apply to our own lives. All of us are on the journey of life. On that journey, all of us have a responsibility to seek and to fi nd the way, the truth and the life.”

我還在這場旅行的路上，正如我們所有人一樣，我不知道前方有什么在等著我?，F(xiàn)在因為曉英的教育問題，我們準備回到英國，可能還是住在劍橋。即使我們將在英國生活，很多時候我的心依舊在中國。我已經愛上中國人民和他們的生活方式。中國有句古話叫作“身在曹營心在漢”。我想這句話很適合馬上要回到英國的我。如果我可以根據我自己的情況稍微更改一下這句話的話，那就是“身在英國心在漢”。

I am still on that journey, as all of us are, and I do not know what lies ahead. Now we are returning to England for the sake of Joanna’s education and shall probably be living in Cambridge. Even though we shall be in England, in many ways my heart is still in China. I have come to love the Chinese people and their way of life. There is an old Chinese saying that, even if one’s body is elsewhere, one’s heart is still in the land of the Han: 身在曹營心在漢. I think this will be true for me too as I return to England.If I could paraphrase this for our own situation, it would be that my body will be in England but my heart in China: 身在英國心在漢.