《一個叫歐維的男人決定去死》：無法啟程的單人旅行

弗里德里克·巴克曼（Fredrik Backman），瑞典作家，1981年出生于赫爾辛堡。巴克曼最初因熱愛寫作，常在博客和報刊上發(fā)表文章。2012年他的第一部小說《一個叫歐維的男人決定去死》（A Man Called Ove）出版后，他一舉成名，從此專注于小說創(chuàng)作，相繼有《外婆的道歉信》（My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You Shes Sorry，2013）、《布瑞特-瑪麗來過這兒》（Britt-Marie Was Here，2014）、《垮掉》（Beardown，2017）等作品問世，均登上《紐約時報》暢銷書榜。巴克曼筆下的故事幽默又充滿溫情，人物常格格不入但善良有趣，因而廣受世界各地讀者的喜愛，他的小說已經(jīng)被翻譯成了35種語言。2015年《一個叫歐維的男人決定去死》被改編為電影，獲第89屆奧斯卡最佳外語片提名。巴克曼如今和妻子及兩個孩子生活在斯德哥爾摩，繼續(xù)從事寫作。

Excerpts1）

Ove twists uncomfortably in the passenger seat. She punches2） the steering wheel several times， mumbles something about how all she wants is to “drink some bloody lemonade，” flops her arms over the top of the steering wheel， buries her face in her sleeves， and starts crying again.

The SUV behind them honks3） until it sounds as if the Finland ferry is about to run them down. And then something in Ove snaps4）. He throws the door open， gets out of the car， walks slowly around the SUV， and rips the drivers door open.

“Have you never been a student driver or what？”

The driver doesnt have time to answer.

“You stupid little bastard！” Ove roars in the face of the shaven-headed young man with throat tattoos， his spittle5） cascading6） over their seats.

The Throat Tattoo doesnt have time to answer and Ove doesnt wait for him either. Instead he grabs the young man by his collar and pulls him up so hard that his body tumbles7） clumsily out of the car. Hes a muscular sort， easily weighing in at two hundred pounds， but Ove holds his collar in an immovable steel grip. Evidently， Throat Tattoo is so surprised by the strength in the old mans grip that it doesnt occur to him to put up any resistance. Fury burns in Oves eyes as he presses the probably thirty-five-years-younger man so hard against the side of the SUV that the bodywork8） creaks. He places the tip of his index finger in the middle of the shaved head and positions his eyes so close to Throat Tattoos face that they feel each others breath.

“If you sound that horn one more time， itll be the LAST thing you do on this earth. Got it？”

Throat Tattoo allows his eyes to divert quickly towards his equally muscular friend inside the car， and then at the growing line of other cars behind the SUV. No one is making the slightest move to come to his assistance. No one beeps. No one moves. Everyone seems to be thinking the same thing： If a non-throat-tattooed man of Oves age without any hesitation steps up to a throat-tattooed man of the age of this Throat Tattoo and presses him up against a car in this manner， then its very likely not the throat-tattooed man one should be most worried about annoying.endprint

Oves eyes are black with anger. After a short moment of reflection， Throat Tattoo seems convinced by the argument that the old man unmistakably means business. The tip of his nose， almost unnoticeably， moves up and down.

Ove nods by way of confirmation and lets him back down on the ground. Then turns around， walks around the SUV， and gets back into the Saab. Parvaneh stares at him， with her mouth hanging open.

“Now， you listen to me，” says Ove calmly while he carefully closes the door. “Youve given birth to two children and quite soon youll be squeezing out a third. Youve come here from a land far away and most likely you fled war and persecution9） and all sorts of other nonsense. Youve learned a new language and got yourself an education and youre holding together a family of obvious incompetents10）. And Ill be damned if Ive seen you afraid of a single bloody thing in this world before now.”

Ove rivets11） his eyes into her. Parvaneh is still agape. Ove points imperiously12） at the pedals under her feet.

Im not asking for brain surgery. Im asking you to drive a car. Its got an accelerator， a brake， and a clutch. Some of the greatest twits13） in world history have sorted out how it works. And you will as well.”

And then he utters seven words， which Parvaneh will always remember as the loveliest compliment hell ever give her.

“Because you are not a complete twit.”

Parvaneh pushes a ringlet14） of hair out of her face， sticky with tears. Clumsily she once again grabs hold of the steering wheel with both hands. Ove nods， puts on his safety belt， and makes himself comfortable.

“Now， push the clutch down and do what I say.”

And that afternoon Parvaneh learns to drive.

59歲的歐維是老派人，即使自殺也井井有條。

早上六點差一刻，他像往常一樣準時起床，煮上兩人份的咖啡，出門去小區(qū)巡邏一圈，然后回來注銷了電話號碼，退訂了雜志，修好洗手間的水龍頭，給房門換上新把手，給廚房臺面上油。下午四點整，他站在生活了近40年的房子客廳里，準備自殺。

六個月前太太索雅去世了，前一天公司通知他可以退休了，這個世界對歐維來說已經(jīng)了無牽掛。從16歲時父親去世后，歐維就一個人生活，一個人蓋房子，一個人坐在汽車里吃飯，直到有一天早晨，歐維在火車上遇到那個叫索雅的女孩，她別著金色的胸針站在燦爛的陽光里，笑聲像香檳泡沫一樣，從此，歐維的生命有了色彩。索雅鼓勵歐維拿到了函授工程學位，包容他的頑固和偏執(zhí)。索雅因車禍失去了雙腿和肚子里的孩子，憤怒的歐維不停地申訴，是索雅勸慰他開始新的生活。人們說歐維和索雅兩人一個像黑夜，一個像白天，歐維從來不會拐彎抹角，嬉皮笑臉，他的世界通行的是看得見、摸得著、弄得明白的東西，比如發(fā)動機、建筑材料和圖紙。索雅喜歡的則是書，她坐在輪椅上教會了那些有讀寫障礙的孩子們閱讀莎士比亞。歐維不會唱歌吟詩，也從來沒送過索雅昂貴的禮物，但他會花好幾周為她做一個漂亮的書架，會親手為她在學校里建一條殘疾人坡道。這個世界上值得歐維用生命守護的，只有索雅。如今索雅走了，剩下歐維一人在這世界上，如同一頭憤怒的孤狼，以僵硬的姿態(tài)活著，卻失去了活著的理由。

第一次自殺有條不紊地進行著，但還沒把繩子掛上天花板，外面搬家的鄰居帕爾瓦娜一家就開著拖斗車鉆進了歐維家的花壇。歐維只得先替他們把車倒好再回來自殺，等一切就緒，繩子斷了。

第二次自殺歐維選擇在安靜的車庫進行，用汽車尾氣。無奈剛開啟死亡之旅，對面懷孕的鄰居帕爾瓦娜就來敲門，請歐維幫忙送她去醫(yī)院。讓孕婦坐公車對歐維來說是無法忍受的，自殺只能順延。endprint

第三次自殺必須遠離這群搗亂的鄰居，歐維天沒亮就起床去了火車站。誰知還沒跳下軌道，遠處一個西裝男先掉了進去。所有人都無動于衷，只有歐維義無反顧地跳下去救人。本來要自殺的歐維卻鬼使神差救了別人一命。

第四次自殺時間隔得久了些，期間歐維不得不收養(yǎng)一只討厭的流浪貓，接送鄰居去醫(yī)院，幫亂停放的毛頭小子修自行車，教孕婦學開車。等終于清靜了，歐維把獵槍拿出來，誰知槍口還沒對準自己，倒先朝向了門口兩位不速之客。那個亂停自行車的小子竟然半夜領(lǐng)著一位同性戀小伙子來歐維這里求借宿，歐維簡直怒不可遏，死期變成了留客之日。

不知不覺中，一群不斷打擾歐維的鄰居就這樣成了他在這個世界的牽絆。要阻止社保機構(gòu)把患老年癡呆癥的鄰居從家里帶走，要給鄰家的女兒買生日禮物，晚上為了抓小偷，歐維還受傷住進了醫(yī)院。醫(yī)生說歐維的心臟并不能堅持多久了，我們不知道歐維是否仍要自殺，但活著要做的事情似乎還有很多。接下來的日子，歐維幫周圍小區(qū)里的房子做維修，鄰居家的小兒子出生了，歐維把小家伙的照片塞在錢包里，見誰給誰看，還特意為他挖了個小游泳池。之前來借宿的同性戀小伙子結(jié)婚了，是歐維做的伴郎。這個看上去有些格格不入的老頭兒卻總是有人需要他，索雅走后那些再次生長出的堅硬棱角逐漸被熱情和真誠打磨。轉(zhuǎn)眼間四年過去了，一個冬天的早晨，這個曾經(jīng)屢次計劃自殺的人在睡夢中離開了人世。

索雅說歐維是一座屹立于新時代的古老紀念碑，這話一點沒錯。他戴著一塊父親留下的已經(jīng)變形的手表，襯衫會扣到最上面一個，一輩子只開薩博牌汽車，只愛一個女人。歐維對勤勞正義、對錯分明和自食其力的世界深信不疑，他在自己的崗位上一干就是三十幾年，一輩子沒上過一個鬧鐘，沒請過一天病假。但現(xiàn)在人們只想著盡早退休，對具有普遍性的功能主義早已失去了應有的尊重，追求一切必須時髦，必須數(shù)字化。所以歐維總不明白為什么現(xiàn)在沒人會自己換輪胎、裝開關(guān)、鋪瓷磚、粉刷墻壁、倒拖斗車、報稅，大家都在忙著換車子、換房子、換女人。選擇自殺的歐維不知道如何在這樣的世界上一個人繼續(xù)活下去。

或許有時候我們并不需要了解一個人的一生才能弄明白他到底是什么樣的人。索雅從歐維陪她反向坐了三個月火車后就決定陪伴他一生，并不介意他當時是一名列車清潔工。歐維是索雅心中的超級英雄。他會眼看著自己親手建的房子被燒成灰燼，卻仍然選擇沖進大火解救鄰居，自殺時還想著去幫助和救護別人的生命，于是他的死亡計劃才會總不成功。人們說歐維陰沉刻薄，或許只是因為他對另一些如今已經(jīng)稀見的價值觀更為珍視，比如忠誠、善良、負責任還有正直。這件事情索雅明白，那些總被罵成“白癡”，但仍然敲開門走進歐維生命中的鄰居們也明白。在日益浮躁的現(xiàn)代社會，鋼筋水泥在人們心間立起深厚的壁壘，快節(jié)奏和虛擬化的生活使我們投去一瞥就對他人做出評判，發(fā)現(xiàn)他人的美好心靈對現(xiàn)代人來說并沒有足夠的時間，匆匆行進的腳步不會為任何人而停下。但我們總能見到歐維的身影，可能是電話那頭被嫌牢騷不停的長輩，也可能是大街上脾氣暴躁被避而遠之的大爺大媽。那些隱藏在堅硬表面下的溫暖心靈和愛意，需要我們像那些敲門上前的鄰居一樣，用心去傾聽和傾訴，才可能被發(fā)現(xiàn)、被感知。endprint