The Monster in the Heart

張一冉

I trudged slowly through the rocky road to visit the monster living in my heart.

There was a dark forest with whole black sky. Nobody was there， except me myself. I huddled deep in my coat in pursuit of its meager protection， warming the icy coldness insidiously into my bones. What a strange place！ Was it worthwhile to make an all-out effort to visit him？

Of course！

To be honest， it was not easy to get along with myself， even though. And I was tired of quarreling and then making a foolish deal with myself every day. I was fed up and I must visit the monster and ask him why he brought me such a bad life. What I needed was just a reasonable explanation.

Here I was， on my way to the monster.

After what seemed like an eternity， I reached a tiny hut. Though I had spent a lot of time walking， I didnt feel hungry， even a little thirsty. But I was attracted by something strange in the hut and couldnt keep myself from walking towards it. I knocked at the door.

The door opened and I found an old woman staring at me.

I was extremely scared， because I had never thought of a person living in my heart.

“Come on in.” said the woman， leading me into the hut.

“How do you get here？” she asked.

“I just walk here.” I answered.

The woman smiled. It was an odd， sad smile， and for a moment I caught a glimpse of grief pain immersing in the smile. Suddenly I found something shining around her neck. I squinted to see it clearly. Oh， my God. I recognized it， it belonged to my mom.

“How dare you …！”

“You know about the necklace， but you never try to know about me.” She interrupted.

To my surprise， I heard the words spoken in my moms voice， one by one， so clearly. I made a deep breath and wanted to explain but I was stopped by her.

“I know who you are with no doubt. Your picture is always there on the table in my room， staring at me.”

She stood still in silence， and so did I.

“I really appreciate you giving me the life， but it never comes from the bottom of my heart. You are a great selfless mother and I am the one who killed you when I was given to birth. Every time I make mistakes， they warn me not to disobey， and every time I succeed， they say：‘its all because of your mother. How dare I forget you！ But I never feel happy with you living on my happiness. Im terribly sorry about what I think about you in my mind. So Im here to deal with it. Can you tell me where I can find the monster？”

“Thats what you want to tell me， right？ I never wish your thanks. I just want you happy. So why am I here， in your heart？ Im just waiting to tell you：There is no monster here at all.”

She said， leading me back to the road and kissed me for the first and last time， and then disappeared with the hut. Both of us didnt let the tears out. I couldnt even feel a little sad. We had missed each other， and lost our happiness for long. Now I just wanted to find it back.

Should I go on my way to the monster or just come back？ It was hard to decide. I was lost.

Just at this time， I found someone behind a tree. I couldnt stop myself from approaching to him. Suddenly I recognized him.

“Its long time no see， Draco.” I tried to be calm and happy.

“How are you these days？” He asked， sitting down on the grass across from me.

“Not too bad.” I shrugged and said.

“Really？ If so， why are you here？”

For the first time， my sadness was overpowered by my anger. I took my breath， a shaking， shuddering breath and said， “So how should I express my gratitude， with my laughter or my good result on study？ How should I express my sadness， with the silence or my tears？ What should I do？ Please tell me.”

He was quiet for a long time， and then he walked right up to me. “Nothing. You just need to free yourself. We loved each other， and now we forgive each other. Thats the best ending.”

He looked at me and said calmly. “Theres no monster. Therell be no one.” He turned around and faded in the darkness.

Suddenly I found myself standing at the entrance from which I got in before. Now I realized that there was no monster at all， except my parents， friends and me. We met each other and we would lose each other. We must love each other and forgive each other.

Thought of this， I felt relaxed a lot. With warm wind in my hair， I walked ahead quickly， at a brisk pace.