Jkes and Humor集錦
2016-05-04 06:08:19張武
中學生英語·外語教學與研究 2016年4期
張武
Saved From Drowning
An Englishman fell into a canal while walking along the towpath with his wife. He couldnt swim， and he began yelling for help. A young lad who was fishing nearby immediately jumped into the water and saved him.
The woman said， “Thank you， little boy. You saved my husband.”
She turned to her husband， who was standing dripping wet against the wall， and said， “Im going to give this brave little boy a pound. You were half dead when he brought you to the bank.”
“Was I？ The give him fifty pence，” he replied.
解救于溺水之災
一個英國人和他的妻子在纖道上散步時掉到了運河里。他不會游泳，大喊救命。一個在附近釣魚的年輕人馬上跳進河里救起了他。
女人說，“謝謝你，孩子，你救了我的丈夫?！?/p>
她轉(zhuǎn)向渾身濕漉漉地靠墻站著的丈夫說，“我要給這個勇敢的年輕人一個英鎊。他把你弄上岸時你都快丟了半條命了?！?/p>
“是嗎？那就給他五十個便士。”他答道。
Nancys Reply
When Peter became mayor， he and his wife Nancy were inspecting a construction project one day. A laborer called out to them： “Nancy， remember me？” he asked. “We used to date in high school.”
Later， Peter teased her. “Arent you glad you married me？ You could have been the wife of a construction worker instead of the wife of the mayor.”
Nancy responded， “You should be glad you married me. If you hadnt， he would have been the mayor.”
南希的回答
彼得當上市長后，有一天他與夫人南希視察一項建筑工程。一名工人沖著他們喊：“南希，你還記得我嗎？”他問道，“我們讀中學時還常常約會呢？”
后來彼得戲謔地對她說：“嫁給我你難道不高興嗎？要不然你可能就是建筑工人的妻子，而不是市長夫人了?！?/p>
南?；卮鸬溃骸澳銘?yīng)當為娶我感到高興。要不然，就可能是他當市長了。”
You might be as lucky as that man
An insurance salesman was trying to convince a potential customer to buy insurance.
“Only last week I sold a life insurance policy to a man 33 years old. The very next day he had an accident and died， and our company promptly awarded $ 100，000 to his family. Now just think—you might be as lucky as that man！”
沒準你會和他一樣幸運
一個保險推銷員在極力說服一位顧客買保險。
“上個星期我給一個只有33歲的人辦理了人壽保險，第二天那個人就出車禍死了。我們公司立刻給他的家人賠了10萬美元。你想想，沒準你會和他一樣幸運呢！”
I Couldnt See Much
Harry was telling his friend about his holiday in Switzerland. His friend had never been to Switzerland and asked， “What did you think of the scenery？”
“Oh， I couldnt see much，” Harry admitted. “There were all those mountains in the way.”
我沒有看到多少
哈里向他的朋友講述去瑞士度假的情況。他的朋友從沒有去過瑞士，便問哈里，“那兒的風景怎么樣？”
“我沒有看到多少風景，”哈里說，“都讓大山擋住了?！?/p>
