Jokes and Humor

張武

Teacher and Student

Teacher： Everybody！Examination is coming tomorrow！Test paper is locked in my drawer！Review your lessons carefully after going back home！Any more questions？

Students： Yes！Where is the key of the drawer？

師生間的對(duì)話

老師：同學(xué)們，明天就要考試了！試卷在我抽屜里鎖著，回家后要好好復(fù)習(xí)功課！ 誰(shuí)還有什么問(wèn)題？

學(xué)生：有！您抽屜的鑰匙在哪里？

The Consequence

Teacher： What is the consequence of the breaking up of the former Soviet Union？

Student： It means that we have more names of new countries to remember.

后果

教師：前蘇聯(lián)解體后造成了什么后果？

學(xué)生：這意味著我們有更多的國(guó)名需要記。

The absent-minded professor

“Where are my shoes？” the absent-minded professor muttered， as the class ended.

“They are on your feet，” said one of the students.

“So they are，” said the professor. “Its good you saw them， or I would have gone home without them.”

心不在焉的教授

“我的鞋呢？”下課的時(shí)候心不在焉的教授喃喃地問(wèn)道。

“在你的腳上呢。”有一個(gè)學(xué)生說(shuō)。

“呵，可不是嗎，幸虧你看見了，要不我會(huì)光著腳回家。”

Im a bachelor

Jack fell off his bicycle and got hurt. A young and beautiful nurse asked him to fill out a form. Jack finished it and gave it back. “Anything else？” the nurse asked. “Yes，” Jack thought for a while and said， “Im a bachelor.”

我是個(gè)單身漢

杰克騎車摔傷，得住院治療。一位年輕美貌的護(hù)士讓杰克填一張表。杰克填好后把表格遞給護(hù)士?！斑€有什么漏填的嗎？”護(hù)士問(wèn)道?！坝校苯芸讼肓艘粫?huì)兒說(shuō)，“我是個(gè)單身漢?！?/p>

The Dentists Explanations

Little Toms mother was on the telephone to the boys dentist.“I dont understand it，”she complained， “I thought his treatment would only cost ten yuan， but you have charged me 40 yuan.”

“It is usually ten yuan， madam，” agreed the dentist， “But Jackie yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away！”

牙醫(yī)的解釋

小湯姆的媽媽在給湯姆的牙醫(yī)打電話?！拔也幻靼住?，她抱怨地說(shuō)，“我以為他的醫(yī)治費(fèi)只需10元就夠了，可你要了我40元?！?/p>

“夫人，一般情況下是10元，”牙醫(yī)生贊同地說(shuō)，“可是湯姆大聲叫喊，嚇跑了另外的三位患者?！?/p>

Unfair

A： Mr. Brown died yesterday. Are you going to attend his funeral？

B： No， of course not！

A： Why not？ I thought you were friends.

B： It wouldnt be fair if I did.

A： Not fair？ What do you mean？

B： If I attended his funeral， would he be able to attend mine？

不公平

甲：布朗先生昨天去世了，你會(huì)去參加他的葬禮嗎？

乙：當(dāng)然不會(huì)去。

甲：為什么呢？我還以為你們倆是朋友呢。

乙：我要是去參加他的葬禮，就太不公平了。

甲：不公平？你這話是什么意思？

乙：如果我參加了他的葬禮，他能夠參加我的嗎？

Only One Eye to Settle On

The girl found the go-between and said， “You cheated me！ One of his eyes is not true.

Why didn't you tell me this before？”

“I have told you，” said the go-between with justice on his side， “When you met first， I told

you that he settled on you with one eye. ”

一眼就看中

姑娘找到媒人，說(shuō)：“你欺騙了我。他的一只眼是假眼，你以前為什么不告訴我？”

“怎么沒(méi)告訴你？”媒人也不甘示弱，“你們第一回見面后，我就說(shuō)，他一眼就看中你了。”