凱莉的影子

小說(shuō)的魅力大概就在于作者腦內(nèi)那個(gè)天馬行空的幻想世界。在小說(shuō)里，虛擬的人、事、物都有了血肉，比如影子。凱莉的影子到底是否真的存在？為什么只有“我”能看到影子？影子是不是在影射什么？“我”的家人是誰(shuí)殺死的？這些問(wèn)題也許你看完也沒(méi)有找到答案，但每個(gè)人都可以有自己的推測(cè)。正是這些懸念讓這個(gè)故事變得格外吸引人。

My mother loved my sister-in-law more than me. More than she loved my brother， I think.

My brother met Kelly in high school； the first day of school， outside the library when they bumped into[無(wú)意中遇到] each other. It could have been a scene[場(chǎng)景] from a TV show. Kelly could have starred in a TV show； she was beautiful， funny， and kind.

Everyone was heartbroken[傷心的] when she broke up with my brother at the end of high school. They went to different colleges and Kelly didn’t want to do long distance. She said it was better to break it off right away than let it end messily[亂糟糟地] over E-mail. They could still be friends.

I say everyone was heartbroken but that’s not the truth. My brother and my parents were heartbroken， but I wasn’t. I pretended to be， as I’d always pretended to like Kelly， but I didn’t really like Kelly so I wasn’t really heartbroken. I was glad to see her go. Now I know what you’re thinking， you’re thinking I was jealous[嫉妒] of Kelly， but that’s not true. I knew my mother loved her more， but I didn’t really mind， my mother and I always got along and just because she loved Kelly more didn’t mean she didn’t love me at all.

I couldn’t like Kelly， because of her shadow. She didn’t have a shadow like other people， her shadow was a stumped[僵直的]， crooked[彎曲的] thing， that hopped[單足跳躍] and limped[跛行] behind her when she walked. I’d stare at it and wonder what kind of thing would cast a shadow[投影] like that. Sometimes， when Kelly laughed， I caught the shadow opening its mouth to bare[露出] rows of sharp， jagged[參差不齊的] teeth.

No one else saw the shadow for what it was. At least， not that I know of. I never told anyone， or asked them if they noticed anything strange about Kelly. My brother would probably punch[用拳猛擊] me and my father would say I read too many trashy[垃圾似的] books with monsters[怪物] in them. My mother might think I was jealous.

My brother and Kelly got back together after college. （My brother’s name was Jack， by the way.） They had both dated other people， but none of the others stuck[長(zhǎng)久留下]， and when they came back home， they bumped into each other. Fate， or Kelly’s shadow， didn’t want them to be apart. They got married a year later. I was Kelly’s maid of honor[伴娘]. The wedding was outside， and I had to stand in her shadow.

Sometimes I’d think that I was imagining the shadow. That maybe I did read too many horror novels[恐怖小說(shuō)]， that maybe I was just a tiny bit jealous. Once， when Kelly stood with her back to me， it turned to look at me and flicked[輕彈] a long， snaky[似蛇般的] tail at me.

Jack and Kelly didn’t have any children， because Jack died on their honeymoon[蜜月]. They went to Japan and he ate bad sushi and died in extreme[極度的] pain. Kelly came home sobbing[啜泣]； a complete wreck[破壞]， a bride[新娘] and a widow[寡婦] at the same time. My mother and father asked her to move in with us， and she did.

I was halfway through high school at this time， and whenever a boy asked me out on a date， I looked at his shadow. I looked at everyone’s shadows. They were all normal. But still， I didn’t like to go out on dates， because it was usually nighttime. I didn’t like to be out with people at night. You couldn’t see anyone’s shadows. You had no idea what they were or what they were doing.

I was supposed to go off to college this year， to the same college my brother and mother and father all went to. Both of my parents have died this year， though， and I don’t think I’ll be going. My mother died of a sudden stroke[中風(fēng)] and my father crashed[碰撞] his car into a tree. We went to my mother’s funeral[葬禮] in February and my father’s was just today.

I’m sitting at home now with Kelly； she has been doing nothing for the past hour but stare at her hands in her lap[膝蓋]， and now she looks up at me. “What are you doing， Anna？” she asks.

“I’m writing a story，” I reply， blocking[阻塞] the computer screen from her view.

“Can I read it？”

“Maybe when it’s finished.”

She nods. She looks sad. “It’s just us now，”she says， thoughtfully[沉思地]. “Just us three.”

I glance at her. “I suppose so.”

“Are you going to leave？”

I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”

“That’s good. You’re not going to leave？”

“No.”

“If you left， I would be alone with it. You’re not going to leave me alone with it？ I can’t be alone with it.”

I look at her for a very long moment and she looks at me. It’s just us， now. Just us three.

“I’m not going to leave you alone with it， Kelly. You’re my sister.”

She smiles at me. She has a beautiful smile. I don’t know what her shadow is doing. I suspect[懷疑] that it is snarling[咆哮] at me. I know it doesn’t like me. But I can see it， and it can’t hurt me.

母親愛(ài)我，也愛(ài)我哥哥，但我覺(jué)得她更愛(ài)嫂子。

我哥讀高中時(shí)邂逅了凱莉，開(kāi)學(xué)第一天，在圖書(shū)館外，他們倆相遇了。這就好像是電視劇里的一個(gè)場(chǎng)景一樣。凱莉可以去演電視劇；她漂亮、風(fēng)趣、善良。

高中畢業(yè)后，她和我哥分手了，所有人都傷心透頂。他們?nèi)チ瞬煌拇髮W(xué)，凱莉不想談遠(yuǎn)距離戀愛(ài)，她說(shuō)現(xiàn)在直接分手總好過(guò)最后發(fā)郵件慘淡收?qǐng)?。他們依然可以做朋友?/p>

我說(shuō)所有人都傷心透頂，那并不是事實(shí)。我的哥哥和父母確實(shí)傷心不已，但我沒(méi)有。我假裝傷心，就好像我一直假裝喜歡凱莉一樣，但我并不是真的喜歡凱莉，所以我也不會(huì)真的感到難過(guò)。我很高興看到她離開(kāi)。我知道此刻你在想些什么，你覺(jué)得我在嫉妒凱莉，可事實(shí)并非如此。我知道我母親更喜歡她，但我真的不介意。我和母親的關(guān)系一直很融洽，她更喜歡凱莉并不意味著她一點(diǎn)兒也不愛(ài)我。

我之所以不喜歡凱莉，是因?yàn)樗挠白?。她的影子和其他人的都不一樣，是一個(gè)僵直扭曲的怪物。每當(dāng)她走路的時(shí)候，它就一瘸一拐地跟在她身后晃動(dòng)。我盯著它，想知道是怎樣的東西才會(huì)有這樣的投影。偶爾當(dāng)凱莉大笑時(shí)，我會(huì)看到那個(gè)影子張開(kāi)大嘴，露出一排排參差不齊的利齒。

沒(méi)有其他人見(jiàn)過(guò)那個(gè)影子的真面目，至少我認(rèn)識(shí)的人當(dāng)中沒(méi)有。我從未將這件事告訴過(guò)任何人，也沒(méi)有問(wèn)他們是否注意到凱莉的異常。（如果我說(shuō)了，）我哥很可能會(huì)痛揍我一頓，父親則會(huì)說(shuō)我看太多有關(guān)怪獸的垃圾書(shū)了。母親可能會(huì)認(rèn)為我是在嫉妒凱莉。

大學(xué)畢業(yè)后，我哥和凱莉重修舊好（順便說(shuō)一下，我哥叫杰克。）。他們都曾和別人約會(huì)過(guò)，但都不長(zhǎng)久，然后在他們回家的時(shí)候又撞見(jiàn)了彼此。命運(yùn)，或者是凱莉的影子，不想讓他們分開(kāi)。一年后，他們結(jié)婚了。我是凱莉的伴娘?；槎Y在戶(hù)外舉行，我不得不站在她的影子里。

有時(shí)候我會(huì)想那個(gè)影子是不是我想象出來(lái)的?；蛟S我真的看太多恐怖小說(shuō)了，又或許我只是有那么一星半點(diǎn)地嫉妒凱莉。有一次，凱莉背對(duì)著我，她的影子轉(zhuǎn)過(guò)來(lái)看著我，朝我搖擺著一條長(zhǎng)長(zhǎng)的、蛇一樣的尾巴。

杰克和凱莉沒(méi)有小孩，因?yàn)榻芸嗽诙让墼碌臅r(shí)候就死了。他們?nèi)チ巳毡荆凰粤俗冑|(zhì)的壽司，然后就在極度的痛苦中死去。凱莉哭著回到了家。這是一次毀滅性的打擊，她既是一名新娘，也是一名寡婦。我的父母要她搬過(guò)來(lái)和我們一起住，她同意了。

那時(shí)我高中讀到一半，每當(dāng)有男生約我出去時(shí)，我就看他的影子。我看到所有人的影子，都沒(méi)有異常。但我仍舊不喜歡出去約會(huì)，因?yàn)榧s會(huì)通常都是在夜間。我不喜歡晚上和人外出。你看不見(jiàn)任何人的影子。你不知道他們是什么樣的人，也不知道他們?cè)谧鍪裁础?/p>

我本應(yīng)該今年去讀大學(xué)的，去那所我哥哥、母親和父親都讀過(guò)的大學(xué)。但今年我的父母不幸去世，我覺(jué)得我應(yīng)該不會(huì)去讀了。我的母親死于突發(fā)性中風(fēng)，父親開(kāi)車(chē)撞上了一棵樹(shù)。我們二月份參加了母親的葬禮，父親的就在今天。

現(xiàn)在我和凱莉一起在家里坐著。在過(guò)去的一個(gè)小時(shí)里，她一直盯著放在膝蓋上的雙手，除此之外什么也沒(méi)做。現(xiàn)在她抬頭看著我，問(wèn)：“安娜，你在做什么？”

“我在寫(xiě)故事，”我回答道，同時(shí)擋著電腦屏幕不讓她看到。

“我可以看看嗎？”

“也許要等到我寫(xiě)完哦?！?/p>

她點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，神情悲傷?！艾F(xiàn)在只剩我們了，”她若有所思地說(shuō)。“只剩我們仨了。”

我看了她一眼?！拔蚁胍彩??！?/p>

“你會(huì)離開(kāi)嗎？”

我搖了搖頭?！拔也粫?huì)?！?/p>

“真好，你不會(huì)離開(kāi)的對(duì)吧？”

“不會(huì)?！?/p>

“如果你走了，就只剩我和它了。你不會(huì)把我丟給它吧？我不能和它單獨(dú)待在一起?！?/p>

我看了她好一會(huì)兒，而她也看著我。只剩下我們了，現(xiàn)在，就我們仨。

“我不會(huì)丟下你和它在一起的，凱莉。你是我的姐姐。”

她朝著我笑了。她笑起來(lái)很美。我不知道她的影子在做什么。我懷疑它正在對(duì)我咆哮，我知道它不喜歡我。但我可以看到它，它傷害不了我。