輪椅上的潛水夢

It’s wonderful to be here to talk about my journey， to talk about the wheelchair and the freedom it has bought me.

I started using a wheelchair 16 years ago when an extended illness changed the way I could access the world. When I started using the wheelchair， it was a 1）tremendous new freedom. I’d seen my life slip away and become restricted. It was like having an enormous new toy. I could 2）whiz around and feel the wind in my face again. Just being out on the street was 3）exhilarating.

But even though I had this newfound joy and freedom， people’s reaction completely changed towards me. It was as if they couldn’t see me anymore， as if an invisibility cloak had descended. They seemed to see me in terms of their 4）assumptions of what it must be like to be in a wheelchair. When I asked people their associations with the wheelchair， they used words like “l(fā)imitation，” “fear，” “pity” and“restriction.” I realized I’d 5）internalized these responses and it had changed who I was on a core level. A part of me had become 6）alienated from myself. I was seeing myself not from my perspective， but vividly and continuously from the perspective of other people’s responses to me.

As a result， I knew I needed to make my own stories about this experience， new narratives to reclaim my identity.

I started making work that aimed to communicate something of the joy and freedom I felt when using a wheelchair—a power chair—to negotiate the world. I was working to transform these internalized responses， to transform the 7）preconceptions that had so shaped my identity when I started using a wheelchair， by creating unexpected images. The wheelchair became an object to paint and play with. When I literally started leaving traces of my joy and freedom， it was exciting to see the interested and surprised responses from people. It seemed to open up new perspectives， and therein lay the 8）paradigm shift. It showed that an arts practice can remake one’s identity and transform preconceptions by revisioning the familiar.

So when I began to dive， in 2005， I realized scuba gear extends your range of activity in just the same way as a wheelchair does， but the associations attached to scuba gear are ones of excitement and adventure， completely different to people’s responses to the wheelchair.

So I thought， “I wonder what’ll happen if I put the two together？” And the underwater wheelchair that has resulted has taken me on the most amazing journey over the last seven years.

It is the most amazing experience， beyond most other things I’ve experienced in life. I literally have the freedom to move in 360 degrees of space and an 9）ecstatic experience of joy and freedom.

And the incredibly unexpected thing is that other people seem to see and feel that too. Their eyes literally light up， and they say things like， “I want one of those，” or， “If you can do that， I can do anything.”

And I’m thinking， it’s because in that moment of them seeing an object they have no frame of reference for， or so transcends the frames of reference they have with the wheelchair， they have to think in a completely new way. And I think that moment of completely new thought perhaps creates a freedom that spreads to the rest of other people’s lives. For me， this means that they’re seeing the value of difference， the joy it brings when instead of focusing on loss or limitation， we see and discover the power and joy of seeing the world from exciting new perspectives. For me， the wheelchair becomes a vehicle for transformation. In fact， I now call the underwater wheelchair“Portal，” because it’s literally pushed me through into a new way of being， into new 10）dimensions and into a new level of consciousness.

And the other thing is， that because nobody’s seen or heard of an underwater wheelchair before， and creating this spectacle is about creating new ways of seeing， being and knowing， now you have this concept in your mind. You’re all part of the artwork too.

非常高興能在此談論我的人生旅程，談論輪椅以及它給我?guī)淼淖杂伞?/p>

我16年前開始使用輪椅，那時一場長期的病痛改變了我接觸這個世界的方式。當我開始使用輪椅，我感受到的是一種全新而巨大的自由。此前，我一度以為自己的人生會從腳下溜走，并受到限制。開始使用輪椅那時候，就像擁有了一件巨大的新玩具。我可以嗖嗖地到處轉悠，重新體驗微風拂面的感覺。只要走到街上就能讓我歡喜雀躍。

但即使我重獲快樂與自由，人們對我的反應還是徹徹底底地改變了。他們好像再也看不見我了，就好像我穿上了隱身衣似的。他們似乎是通過自己的臆斷來看待我，來斷言坐在輪椅上究竟是怎樣一種感覺。當我問起大家關于“輪椅”會有怎樣的聯(lián)想時，他們會用到諸如“限制”、“害怕”、“遺憾”和“束縛”等詞語。我意識到自己已經(jīng)把這些回答內(nèi)化了，這從根本上改變了真正的我。我內(nèi)心的一部分被切斷疏離。我不是以自己的視角來看待自己，而是明顯地、不斷地以別人的眼光來看自己。

所以，我明白自己需要就這段經(jīng)歷創(chuàng)造屬于我自己的故事——一個全新的、尋回自我的故事。

于是我開始著手創(chuàng)造方式表達駕馭輪椅穿越世界時其帶給我的快樂和自由，那是—張有魔力的椅子。我通過創(chuàng)造出人意表的畫面，轉變這些“內(nèi)化了的回應”，轉變那些在我使用輪椅之初，曾一度塑造了我的身份的先入之見。這輪椅成了我繪畫和玩耍的工具。當我真的以其畫下我快樂和自由的痕跡之時，人們表現(xiàn)出的興趣和驚訝令我激動不已。這似乎成了新觀念的開端，這其中蘊含了思維模式的轉換。其表明了一種藝術嘗試能夠重塑一個人的身份，通過修正熟悉的事物可以改變先入之見。

于是，在2005年，當我開始潛水時，我意識到潛水裝備跟輪椅一樣能擴展你的活動范圍，但不同的是，潛水裝備令人聯(lián)想到的是興奮冒險，這與人們對于輪椅的回應截然相反。

于是我就想，“我很想知道如果我把這兩者放在一起會有怎樣的效果？”然后，水下輪椅就在過去的七年里，將我?guī)蛄俗钇婷畹乃轮谩?/p>

這是最奇妙的經(jīng)歷，超過我人生中經(jīng)歷過的大部分其他事情。我竟能擁有 360度地在空間中移動的自由，同時擁有一份關于快樂和自由的令人欣喜若狂的經(jīng)歷。

最令人難以置信的意外之事是，其他人似乎也有身臨其境之感。他們的眼睛簡直閃閃發(fā)光，并且說出這樣的話：“我也想試試！”又或是“既然你都可以那樣做，我就能做任何事情！”

然后我在想，這是因為在那時，他們目睹了一件他們從來沒有見過的東西，或者說，這件事物超越了人們心中關于輪椅的固有觀念，使得他們不得不用一種嶄新的思維方式來思考。我覺得這個全新觀念誕生的時刻，也許創(chuàng)造了一種新的自由，這種自由可以在其他人的生命中傳播開來。對我而言，這意味著他們正目睹著差異的價值，以及它帶來的快樂——這種快樂源自當我們不再計較失去和限制，我們從令人興奮的新觀念看待這個世界時，所看到和發(fā)現(xiàn)的力量和快樂。于我而言，輪椅成為了一種轉化工具。實際上，我現(xiàn)在把水下輪椅叫做 “穿越之門”，因為它確實把我推入到了一種新的存在方式，進入了一個新的維度和一個思想意識的新高度。

除此之外，因為對于水下輪椅，人們聞所未聞，見所未見。因此創(chuàng)造這個奇景就是在創(chuàng)造新的看法、存在和認知，現(xiàn)在這一概念已經(jīng)存在于你們的腦海之中了。你們也都成為這藝術作品的一部分了。