冷山

Inman had attended church expressly for the purpose of viewing her. In the weeks following Ada’s arrival in Cold Mountain， Inman had heard much about her before he saw her. She and her father stayed too long green in the country they had taken up， and they soon became a source of great comedy to many households along the river road. For people to sit on the porch and watch Ada and Monroe pass by in the 1）cabriolet or to see Ada on one of her nature walks along the big road was as near to theater as most would come， and she provoked as much discussion as a new production at the Dock Street opera. All agreed that she was pretty enough， but her very choice of 2）Charleston 3）garb or flourish of hairstyle was subject to ridicule. If she were seen holding a stem of 4）beardtongue blossoms to admire their color or stooping to touch the spikes of jimson leaves， some would solemnly call her mazed in the head not to know beardtongue when she saw it， and others would wonder， grinning， was she so wit-scoured as perhaps to eat jimson？ Gossip had it that she went about with a notebook and pencil and would stare at a thing—bird or bush， weed， sunset， mountain—and then scratch at paper awhile as if she were 5）addled enough in her thinking that she might forget what was important to her if she did not mark it down.

So one Sunday morning Inman dressed himself carefully—in a new black suit， white shirt， black tie， black hat—and set out for church to view Ada. It was a time of blackberry winter and a chill rain had fallen without pause for three days， and though the rain had stopped sometime in the night， the morning sun had not yet burned through the clouds， and the slash of sky visible between the ridgelines was dark and low and utterly without feature. The roads were nothing but sucking mud， and so Inman had arrived late and taken a seat at a rear 6）pew. There was already a 7）hymn going. Someone had lit a greenwood fire in the stove. It smoked from around the top plate， and the smoke rose to the ceiling and spread flat against the beadboards and hung there grey like a miniature of the actual sky.

Inman had but the back of her head to find Ada by， yet that took only a moment since her dark hair was done up in a heavy and intricate plait of such recent fashion that it was not then known in the mountains. Below where her hair was twisted up， two faint cords of muscle ran up under the skin on either side of her white neck to hold her head on. Between them a scoop， a shaded hollow of skin. Curls too fine to be worked up into the plait. All through the hymn， Inman’s eyes rested there， so that after awhile， even before he saw her face， all he wanted was to press two fingertips against that mystery place.

Monroe began the sermon by commenting on the hymn they had all just mouthed. Its words seemed to look with passionate yearning to a time when they would be immersed in an ocean of love. But Monroe preached that they were misunderstanding the song if they fooled themselves into thinking all creation would someday love them. What it really required was for them to love all creation. That was altogether a more difficult thing and， to judge by the congregation’s reaction， somewhat shocking and distressful.

When the service 8）concluded， the men and women left the church by their separate doors. Muddy horses stood asleep in their traces， their rigs and traps behind them 9）mired up to the 10）spokes in mud. The voices of the people awoke them， and one chestnut 11）mare shook her 12）hide with the sound of flapping a dirty carpet. The 13）churchyard was filled with the smell of mud and wet leaves and wet clothes and wet horses. The men lined up to shake hands with Monroe， and then they all milled about the wet churchyard visiting and speculating on whether the rain had quit or was just resting. Some of the elders talked in low voices about the queerness of Monroe’s sermon and its lack of Scripture and about how they admired his stubbornness in the face of other people’s desires.

The unmarried men wadded up together， standing with their muddy boots and spattered pant cuffs in a circle. Their talk had more of Saturday night to it than Sunday morning， and all of them periodically cut their eyes to where Ada stood at the edge of the graveyard looking altogether foreign and beautiful and utterly awkward. Everyone else wore woolens against the damp chill， but Ada had on an ivory-colored linen dress with lace at the collar and sleeves and hem. She seemed to have chosen it more by the calendar than the weather. She stood holding her elbows. The older women came to her and said things and then there were 14）knotty pauses and then they went away. Inman noted that every time she was approached， Ada took a step back until she fetched up against the 15）headstone of a man who had fought in the Revolution.

“If I went and told her my name， reckon she’d say ought to me back？” said a Dillard man who had come to church for precisely the same reason Inman had.

“I couldn’t say，” Inman said.

“You’d not begin to know where to start 16）courting her，” Hob Mars said to Dillard. “Best leave that to me.” Mars was shortish and big through the chest. He had a fat watch that 17）pooched out his vest pocket and a silver chain that ran to his pant waist and a scrolled fob hanging from the chain.

Dillard said， “You think you bore with a mighty big auger.”

“I don’t think it， I know it，” Mars said.

Then another man， one of such slight build and irregular features that he was but a bystander， said， “I’d bet a hundred dollars against a half a ginger cake that she’s got a husband-elect down in Charleston.”

“They can be forgot，” Hob said. “Many has been before.”

Then Hob stared at Inman and surveyed his strict attire. “You look like the law，” he said. “A man courting needs some color about him.”

Inman could see that they would all talk the topic round and round until one or another that day might eventually draw up the nerve to go to her and make a fool of himself. Or else they would insult each other until a pair of them would have to meet down the road and fight. So he touched a finger to his brow and said，“Boys”， and walked away. He went straight over to Sally Swanger and said， “I’d clear an acre of newground for an introduction.”

Sally had on a 18）bonnet with a long bill to it so that she had to step back and cock her head to throw the shade off her eyes and look up at Inman. She grinned at him and put her hand up and touched a 19）pinchbeck 20）brooch at her collar and rubbed her fingers across it. “Notice I’m not even asking who to，” she said.

“Now would be the time，” Inman said， looking to where Ada stood alone， her back to the people， slightly stooped， peering in apparent fascination at the 21）inscription on the gravestone. The bottom foot of her dress was wet from the tall gravegrass and the tail of it had sometime dragged in mud.

Mrs. Swanger took Inman’s black coat sleeve between finger and thumb and pulled him by such slight harness across the yard to Ada. When his sleeve was let go， he raised the hand to take off his hat； then with the other he raked through his hair all around where it was pressed and banded. He swept the hair back at each temple and rubbed his palm from brow to chin to compose his face. Mrs. Swanger cleared her throat， and Ada turned.

“Miss Monroe，” Sally Swanger said， her face bright. “Mr. Inman has expressed a deep interest in becoming acquainted. You’ve met his parents. His people built the chapel，” she added by way of reference， before she walked away.

Ada looked Inman directly in the face， and he realized too late that he had not planned what to say. Before he could formulate a phrase， Ada said， “Yes？”

There was not much patience in her voice， and for some reason Inman found that amusing. He looked off to the side， down toward where the river bent around the hill， and tried to bring down the corners of his mouth. The leaves on trees and 22）rhododendron at the riverbanks were glossed and drooping with the weight of water. The river ran heavy and dark in curves like melted glass where it bowed over hidden rocks and then sank into troughs. Inman held his hat by the crown and for lack of anything to say he looked down into the hole as if， from previous experience， he waited in sincere expectation that something might emerge.

Ada stood a moment looking at his face， and then after a time she looked into the hole of the hat too. Inman caught himself， fearing that the expression on his face was that of a dog sitting at the lip of a groundhog 23）burrow. He looked at Ada， and she turned up her palms and raised an eyebrow to signify a general question.

“You’re free to put your hat back on and say something，” she said.

“It’s just that you’ve been the subject of considerable speculation，” Inman said.

“Like a novelty， is it， speaking to me？”

“No.”

“A challenge， then. Perhaps from that circle of dullards there.”

“Not at all.”

“Well， then， you supply the simile.”

“Like grabbing up a chestnut burr， at least thus far.”

Ada smiled and nodded. She had not figured him to know the word. Then she said，“Tell me this. A woman earlier commented on the recent weather. She called it sheep-killing weather. I’ve been wondering， can’t get it out of my mind. Did she mean weather appropriate for slaughtering sheep or weather foul enough to kill them itself without assistance， perhaps by drowning or pneumonia？”

“The first，” Inman said.

“Well， then， I thank you. You’ve served a useful purpose.”

She turned and walked away to her father. Inman watched her touch Monroe’s arm and say something to him， and they went to the cabriolet and climbed in and wheeled off， fading down the lane between fencerows thicketed with blossoming blackberry canes.

英曼去教堂，完全是為了見識一下艾達。在艾達剛到冷山的那幾個星期里，英曼未見其人便先聞其名，聽到不少關于她的傳言。艾達和她的父親就像一對愣頭青，融入當地社會的速度太慢，很快便成了河邊路上許多家庭娛樂的源泉。對大家來說，坐在門廊上，看艾達和門羅乘著馬車駛過，或者看著艾達沿大路漫步領略風景，簡直就和看戲一樣，而她引起的議論，絕不比碼頭大街劇院上演的一部新劇目少。大家一致認為艾達夠漂亮，但她那身查爾斯頓式的裝束或華麗的發(fā)式，都成了被取笑的目標。如果瞧見她拿著一支開花的釣鐘柳枝，對花瓣的顏色贊嘆不已，或是用手去碰觸曼佗羅葉子的尖端，一些人就會以嚴肅的口吻說她的腦子肯定有問題，見到釣鐘柳都不認識；而另一些人則燦然一笑，心想，她難道真有那么呆，竟然連曼佗羅都要吃？據傳言，她走到哪兒都帶著筆記本和鉛筆，盯上了一個東西——鳥或灌木、雜草、落日、大山——就在紙上勾抹一氣，就像她已經糊涂透頂，如果不把重要的東西畫下來，她轉眼便會拋諸腦后似的。

于是，一個禮拜天的早晨，英曼精心打扮一番——全新的黑色西服、白襯衫、黑領帶、黑帽子——出發(fā)去教堂，要一睹艾達芳容。時當黑莓花開，一場倒春寒，冷雨連下三天，昨晚才停，但早晨的太陽還沒有驅散云層。道道山脊之間，看得到一抹蒼穹，陰暗低垂的，毫無色彩層次。路上滿是粘腳的泥漿，所以英曼很晚才趕到教堂，坐在靠后的長椅上。已經開始唱圣詩了。不知是誰用新柴在火爐內生火，爐蓋周圍冒起濃煙，一直升到天棚，然后沿著天花板平鋪開來，并懸在那里，如同外面灰色天空的縮影。

英曼只能從一排排的后腦勺中尋找艾達，但這只需片刻，因為她的黑發(fā)盤在頭上，編成粗大繁復的辮髻，這種新潮發(fā)式在山里還是前所未見呢。發(fā)髻下潔白的后頸上隱約凸起兩條肌肉支撐起頭部，之間顯現一片黯凹肌膚，長著無法打進發(fā)辮的纖細茸毛。在唱圣詩的整個過程中，英曼的目光一直停留在那里，所以不一會兒后，還沒等看到艾達的臉，他已情不自禁想伸出兩根指尖，去按一按那個神秘的地方。

門羅以講解剛剛唱過的圣詩為引子，開始他的布道演說。圣詩的詞句似乎顯示出一種熱烈的渴望，向往著終將有一天，人們會沉浸在一個充滿愛的海洋之中。但門羅說，如果他們自欺欺人地以為有一天將得到萬物之愛，那就是誤解了圣詩。其真義是讓人們去愛一切造物?？偠灾@是件更加困難的事，而且從會眾的反應看，也有些讓人驚愕和苦惱。

布道會結束后，男女會眾分門走出教堂。被韁繩套住的馬匹身上濺滿泥漿，一匹匹站著睡著了，馬車的輪輻都陷泥里了。人聲驚醒馬匹，一匹栗色的母馬抖動肚皮，發(fā)出拍打臟地毯一樣的聲響。教堂的墓園里充滿了泥漿、濕葉子、濕衣裳和淋濕的馬匹身上發(fā)出的氣味。男人們排成行與門羅握手，然后都來到濕漉漉的墓園里，四下轉悠，觀察天色，看雨是真的停了呢，還是只是歇息一下。一些年紀稍長的人低聲談論著，說門羅的布道論調古怪，缺乏經文依據，又佩服他不為眾人欲念所動的頑固勁頭。

未婚男子聚成一圈，靴子和褲腳上都濺滿了泥漿。他們聊的更像是周六晚上的話題，而非禮拜天上午的正經事。所有人都不時朝站在墓園邊上的艾達瞄一眼，她看上去是那么與眾不同，美麗，卻又極不自然。其他人全都穿著毛料衣服抵御濕寒，艾達卻身穿一件乳白色的亞麻裙子，領口、袖口和裙擺上還鑲著蕾絲花邊。似乎她選擇什么衣服，主要是根據月份，而不是天氣。艾達雙臂環(huán)抱胸前，一些年長的婦女走過去跟她講了幾句話，接著是一陣雙方都有些不知所措的沉默，隨后她們就離開了。英曼注意到，每當有人朝她走來，艾達就向后退一步，直至被一塊獨立戰(zhàn)爭老兵的墓碑擋住退路。

“如果我去告訴她我的名字，你們覺得她會不會理我？”迪拉德家的一個小伙子問。他來教堂的目的與英曼完全一樣。

“我摸不準，”英曼說。

“你根本不知道該怎么追求她，”霍布·瑪爾斯對迪拉德說?！斑€是看我的吧，”瑪爾斯身量不高，肩寬背厚。馬甲的口袋里鼓鼓囊囊地裝著老大的一塊懷表，銀鏈子一直垂到褲腰，上面還懸著一枚渦卷花紋的鏈墜。

迪拉德說：“你以為你什么都行?！?/p>

“不是以為，是事實，”瑪爾斯答道。

這時另一個人說：“我敢拿一百美元賭半塊姜餅，她肯定在查爾斯頓已經有了意中人?！贝巳松聿臉O為干巴，五官極不端正，因此只有干瞪眼的份兒。

“意中人可以忘記，”霍布說道?！斑@有什么可稀奇的?！?/p>

然后他盯著英曼，上下打量了一番他筆挺的衣服，說：“你穿得太死板了，追姑娘的爺們兒得顯出點性格?！?/p>

英曼很清楚，他們會一直繞著這個話題談個不休，直至某人當天終于鼓足勇氣，去艾達那里出乖露丑。要不然他們會互相奚落個沒完，直到某兩個人動了真火，跑到外面的路上干上一架。所以他拿手指撓了撓眉毛，說了聲“再會”就走開了。他徑直走到莎莉·斯萬哲跟前說：“如果能給我引見一下，我愿意幫你開一畝荒地?！?/p>

莎莉戴著一頂寬邊軟帽，眼睛全被擋住了，所以她得后退一步，仰起頭來看著英曼。她對英曼微微一笑，抬起手，在金色銅領針上來回摸了摸?！澳憧次叶疾挥脝枌Ψ绞钦l，”她說。

“現在時機正好，”英曼一邊說，眼睛一邊望向艾達。她一人背對大家而立，身子微屈，很明顯正津津有味地讀著墓碑上的銘文。裙腳已經被高高的墓草打濕，后擺不知什么時候還在泥里拖過。

斯萬哲太太用手指捻著他黑色上衣的袖子，輕輕把他牽上，穿過園子，來到艾達旁邊。等英曼的袖子被放開，他抬手取下帽子，另一只手前后左右理了理被壓平的頭發(fā)，把頭發(fā)從兩鬢捋到腦后，然后手掌從額頭到下巴一抹，讓表情回復自然。斯萬哲太太清了清嗓子，艾達轉過身來。

“門羅小姐，” 莎莉·斯萬哲打了聲招呼，臉上帶著燦爛的笑容。“英曼先生非常希望能有幸和你結識。你已經見過他的父母。這座教堂就是他的家人建造的，”莎莉走開前順便告訴艾達，讓她心里有個數。

艾達轉過眼睛直視著英曼，他這才意識到自己竟然沒準備要說些什么。不待他琢磨出一句話來，艾達說道：“什么事？”

她的語氣并不怎么耐煩，不知為什么，這讓英曼覺得很有趣。他轉頭看向遠處河水繞過山腳的地方，盡力不讓嘴角翹起來。河岸上，樹上的葉子和杜鵑花被雨水打得葉子低垂，閃動著鮮亮的光澤?；匦幩麝幇的?，就像融化的玻璃漿，折身淌過暗石，沉入低處。英曼手托帽頂，由于一時不知該說什么，只好死盯著帽洞，好像根據從前的經驗，他知道將有什么東西打里面冒出來，正誠心誠意地等著。

艾達對著他的臉看了一會兒，然后也向帽兜里瞧去。英曼控制住自己，唯恐剛才自己臉上的表情像一只守在土撥鼠地洞邊上的狗。他抬眼看著艾達，她雙掌向上一翻，挑起一邊眉毛，表示不知所以然。

“你現在可以把帽子戴上說點什么了，”她說。

“主要是大家都對你很好奇，”英曼說。

“覺得跟我說話像件新鮮事兒，對嗎？”

“不是。”

“那么就像一種挑戰(zhàn)？可能是那邊那幾個呆瓜刺激你來的?！?/p>

“根本不是?！?/p>

“那究竟如何，你自己做個比喻吧?！?/p>

“像抓一個扎手的毛栗，至少到目前為止是這樣?！?/p>

艾達笑著點了點頭，沒料到他知道“比喻”這個詞。然后她說：“問你一個事兒。剛才一個女人說到近來的天氣，她說這是‘殺羊天’。我心里一直在想，她說的是這種天氣適合殺羊，還是說糟糕的天氣本身就能讓羊死掉，比如淹死或讓它們得肺炎？”

“是前一種，”英曼說。

“哦，是這樣，那么謝了。你幫了我一個忙?！?/p>

她轉身向父親走去。英曼看見她扶著門羅的胳膊對他說了些什么，然后他們登車上路，在兩排開滿了黑莓花的籬笆中間的小路上，漸行漸遠。