十三釵

米爾豪瑟常常將幻想以美國人獨(dú)有的腔調(diào)并入其作品的主題，很多魔幻情節(jié)在他的作品中出現(xiàn)過，比如游樂場的機(jī)械牛仔活了過來、孩子們在深夜里乘著魔毯飛出窗外，還有那個(gè)坐擁著13個(gè)老婆逍遙生活的男子。米爾豪瑟筆下的小說情節(jié)大都與現(xiàn)實(shí)悖行，卻又附加于一個(gè)合理的主題之上助其表達(dá)，讓人不得不感慨其文筆靈氣逼人。本期推薦小說《十三釵》是米爾豪瑟2013年發(fā)表的最新作品，初讀時(shí)不禁讓小編想起了《鹿鼎記》中那個(gè)被七位老婆環(huán)繞的韋小寶。唯一不同的是，米爾豪瑟直接借由13個(gè)老婆不同的個(gè)性特點(diǎn)來表達(dá)人無完人的觀點(diǎn)，而非《鹿鼎記》那般帶有封建色彩。本期地道英文節(jié)選了小說的前三章讓讀者先睹為快，不知這美版的《鹿鼎記》能否讓米爾豪瑟在中國再火一把呢？！

People sometimes ask， “Why thirteen wives？”“Oh，” I always say， putting on my brightest smile， “you cant have too much of a good thing！”

In truth， the answer is less simple than that， though the precise nature of the answer remains 5）elusive even to me. Whats clear is that I love my wives， each alone and all together， and cant imagine a life without all of them. Even though I married my wives one after the other， over a period of nine years， I never did so with the thought that I was replacing one wife with a better one， or abolishing my former wives by starting over. Never have I considered myself to be a man with thirteen marriages but， rather， a man with a single marriage， composed of thirteen wives. Whether this solution to the difficult problem of marriage is one that will prove useful to others， or whether my approach will add nothing to the sum of human knowledge， is not for me to say. I say only that， speaking strictly for myself， there could have been no other way.

人們時(shí)不時(shí)地問道：“為什么要有13個(gè)老婆？”

“哦，”我總是掛上我最燦爛的笑容，答道：“好東西不嫌多嘛！”

事實(shí)上，答案并非如此簡單，而答案的實(shí)質(zhì)甚至連我自己都難以知曉。唯一明了的是我愛我的老婆們，愛其個(gè)體亦愛其全部，我無法想象沒有她們的生活。即使我一個(gè)接一個(gè)地娶，在9年時(shí)間里，我從來不是以好換差，也沒想過要休掉前妻，以新替舊。我從沒覺得自己是一個(gè)有著13段婚姻的男人，恰恰相反，我只有一段婚姻，只不過它由13個(gè)老婆組成。這個(gè)解決婚姻難題的辦法是否對其他人奏效，或者我的方法是否能為人類知識(shí)的總量添上一筆，這些都不是由我說了算的。我只能說，嚴(yán)格來講，于我，應(yīng)該沒有其它辦法了。

Here， then， are my wives.

Absolute equals， heart-sharers， partners in love—thats how we think of each other， my first wife and I. If， on a Sunday morning， I wake up late to find shes made me a plate of big blueberry pancakes， just the way I liked them as a boy， with a square of butter melting its way in， then the next Sunday Ill serve her a two-egg 6）omelette with green peppers and chopped onions， exactly the kind she remembers from summer at the cabin on the island when she was a girl.

I remind her of her appointment with the hairdresser on Tuesday at one， she makes sure I dont miss my dentists appointment on Thursday at four； I drive with her to her mothers house in 7）Vermont on the third weekend in July， she comes with me to my fathers house on the cape for the second week of August； I praise the 8）trim lines of her new yellow sundress， shes pleased by the crisp look of my new light-weave button-down.

These arrangements are perhaps known to every marriage， but ours has developed more intimate refinements. If my first wife catches her hand in a door， I howl with sudden pain； when Im thirsty， she gulps down a glass of iced 9）limeade； if I knock into a table edge， a purple bruise shows on her leg； if she trips on the edge of the rug， I fall to the floor.

以下，接下來，就是我的老婆們了。

絕對平等、分擔(dān)心意、相愛相伴——我們以此相待，我的原配和我。如果，在一個(gè)周日的早上，我起晚了，然后發(fā)現(xiàn)她為我做了一盤大藍(lán)莓煎餅，在我還是個(gè)男孩兒的時(shí)候，我就愛伴著一方塊兒融化的黃油吃這些，那么下一個(gè)周日，我會(huì)為她用兩只蛋煎蛋卷，伴上青椒和洋蔥末，這絕對能讓她回想起小時(shí)候曾在夏天島上那小屋里吃到過的滋味。

我會(huì)提醒她周二下午一點(diǎn)她與美發(fā)師的預(yù)約，她會(huì)確保我周四下午四點(diǎn)不會(huì)錯(cuò)過和牙醫(yī)的預(yù)約；在七月的第三個(gè)周末我會(huì)和她一起開車去她母親在佛蒙特州的家，在八月的第二周她會(huì)和我一起去我父親建在海角上的家里；我會(huì)夸贊她新置的黃色背心裙的裁剪，她則會(huì)因?yàn)槲夷侨螺p薄系扣襯衫的清爽打扮而感覺欣喜。

這些插曲也許在每一段婚姻中都不足為奇，但是我們之間的已經(jīng)發(fā)展得更加親密無間。如果我的原配被門夾了手，我會(huì)因?yàn)橥蝗坏奶弁脆平校划?dāng)我口渴的時(shí)候，她會(huì)猛地飲完一杯冰鎮(zhèn)酸橙汽水；如果我撞到桌邊，一塊兒紫色的瘀青便會(huì)出現(xiàn)在她的腿上；如果她在地毯邊上絆倒，我就會(huì)倒在地上。

One evening I thought of the answer to a crossword clue wed both been stuck on the day before； when I entered her room， I found her sitting up in bed， folded newspaper in hand， filling in the answer with a yellow No.2 pencil. Another time， when things werent going well with me， I woke in the night and feared she might be suicidally depressed； when I rushed into the hall， I nearly collided with her， hurrying toward me with her arms held wide and a look of rescue in her eyes.

Sometimes， its true， I grow bored， deeply bored， with our system of finely measured equivalences. Then I long for an imbalance， a sharp exception， a fierce eruption. Unhappy that Ive had such thoughts， and uncertain what to do； when I seize her arms and look into her eyes， I see the same 10）melancholy， the same longing for something unknown； and as I burst into a dark， uneasy laugh， I hear， all over the room， like the cries of many animals， the sound of her own troubling laughter.

一天晚上，我想出了前一天我們倆都迷上的一個(gè)字謎游戲的答案；當(dāng)我走進(jìn)她房間的時(shí)候，我發(fā)現(xiàn)她正在床上端坐著，折起的報(bào)紙拿在手中，用一支黃色的2號(hào)鉛筆填著答案。還有一次，我遇事不大順心，我在夜里驚醒并害怕她也會(huì)抑郁欲絕；當(dāng)我沖進(jìn)大廳的時(shí)候，我差點(diǎn)兒跟她撞在一起，她急忙打開雙臂給我擁抱，并且眼中流露出營救的眼神。

有時(shí)候，的的確確，我有些厭煩，特別厭煩我們極其精準(zhǔn)相似的系統(tǒng)。然后，我渴望一份不安定、一次完全的例外、一次猛烈的爆發(fā)。糾結(jié)于這樣的想法中，也不知如何是好。當(dāng)我抓住她的雙臂并望進(jìn)她雙眸的時(shí)候，我看到了相同的憂郁，對于一些未知事物相同的渴望；而當(dāng)我突然發(fā)出一聲憂郁、不自在的大笑時(shí)，我聽見，滿屋子里環(huán)繞著，像是很多動(dòng)物的叫聲，還有她自己令人不安的笑聲。

When I am feeling hopeless about my life， when my hands hang from my sleeves like dead men dangling， when， catching sight of myself in a plate-glass window， I turn violently away， but not before Ive seen myself turn violently away， then I know its time for me to be in the company of my second wife， who knows how to comfort me.

Even as I arrive at the front door， holding my leather laptop case in one hand and reaching for my key with the other， shes looking at me anxiously and asking about my day， shes helping me out of my belted trenchcoat and hanging up my hat， shes placing my case by the 11）umbrella stand. Already she is leading me to an armchair—my favorite one， with the thick armrests—where she places a pillow behind my head and touches my forehead with her hand， while at the same time shes lifting my feet onto the 12）hassock， shes removing my shoes and pressing her cheek against my leg.

“Are you all right？” she asks， looking at me with tender concern. And gazing at me 13）earnestly she asks， “Have you had a hard day？”

當(dāng)我對自己的生活感到無望，當(dāng)我的雙手像死人那般在袖中垂晃，當(dāng)我從鏡面玻璃窗中看到自己，我猛地轉(zhuǎn)過身，但在轉(zhuǎn)身前我已經(jīng)看到了這一切，然后我知道我該去和我第二任老婆呆在一起了，她曉得怎么安慰我。

當(dāng)我剛好走到前門的時(shí)候，她就用一只手提起了我的皮革手提電腦包并用另一只手接過我的鑰匙，她焦急地看著我，邊問我今天過得如何，邊幫我脫掉束著腰的風(fēng)衣，掛起我的帽子，把電腦包擺在傘架旁邊。她早已拉我坐到了一把扶手椅上——我最愛的一把，有著厚實(shí)的扶手——她在我腦袋后面墊了一個(gè)枕頭并用手撫著我的前額，與此同時(shí)她抬起我的腳放到跪墊上，她脫下我的鞋子并將臉頰貼在我的腿上。

“你還好嗎？”她溫柔關(guān)切地望著我，問道。而后她盯著我認(rèn)真地問：“今天很辛苦嗎？”

Still later， waking beside her， I feel a sudden doubt. Roughly I shake her awake. Staring into her sleepy eyes， I tell her that I could never endure a rival， that Ill leave her instantly if she ever tries a trick like that， she cant take advantage of me， I wasnt born yesterday.

During my outburst her large， startled eyes fill with tears. Gradually a relief comes over me， I grow calm， I glance at the clock and see that its getting late， a yawn shudders through me， and as I close my eyes and begin to drift toward deep， soothing sleep I feel her lying awake beside me， searching for the cause of my distress， 14）rehearsing the events of the past few hours， reproaching herself for not loving me enough， her eyes wide， her heart racing， her cheek resting tensely against my shoulder.

再后來，我從她身邊醒來，感到一股疑惑襲上心頭。我粗暴地?fù)u醒了她。盯著她惺忪的睡眼，我告訴她我無法容忍一個(gè)競爭對手，如果她曾嘗試過那樣的伎倆，我將會(huì)即刻離開她，她不能從我這兒拿到什么好處，我可不是什么幼稚屁孩。

我情緒爆發(fā)的時(shí)候，她大大的、受了驚嚇的眼睛里盈滿了淚水。漸漸地我松了口氣，冷靜下來，我瞥了一眼鐘表，發(fā)現(xiàn)天色已晚，打了個(gè)戰(zhàn)栗全身的哈欠，當(dāng)我閉上眼，正要迷迷糊糊進(jìn)入沉沉的舒緩睡眠的時(shí)候，我感覺她躺在我身邊睡不著，她思索著我苦惱的原因，回想著過去的幾小時(shí)里發(fā)生的事情，責(zé)備自己不夠愛我，她眼睛睜大了，心跳越來越快，她的臉頰緊緊地貼在我的肩膀上。

At other times， in a more robust mood， the sort of mood in which lifes little disappointments no longer seem evidences of failure but welcome challenges to the 15）all-conquering spirit， I seek the company of my third wife， who never spoils me.

When I enter her room I find her lying on the bed， reading a book with a frown of concentration. Without looking up， she raises a rigid finger as a sign that shes not to be disturbed； her whole body tightens with attention as she continues reading.

After a long while she lays the book on her chest and lifts her eyes to me， with the same frown. At once she reproaches me with having neglected her. As I begin to defend myself， she tells me that the new cleaning lady has broken one of the blue wineglasses； theres no more sliced turkey in the refrigerator， only sliced ham； the door of the linen closet doesnt close properly. I assure her that Ill take care of everything soon， right away， at this very moment if necessary； in response she rolls her eyes in a slow， exaggerated manner. Suddenly she looks at my shirt and asks whether I went to work with my collar like that. Have I checked my hair in the mirror lately？

Her head hurts； her allergies are killing her； shes sure she has a sinus infection； theres no air in the room； the window is stuck again. I step over and raise the window easily. She asks whether it gives me pleasure to score a cheap victory at her expense. Shes short of cash； her blow-dryer is broken； somethings wrong with the switch on the coffeemaker.

平時(shí)，在一種更激昂的情緒里，在那種情緒面前，生活中小小的失落看起來都不再像失敗的證據(jù)，卻像是歡迎挑戰(zhàn)的那種所向披靡的精神，我會(huì)尋求我第三任妻子的陪伴，她從不寵溺我。

當(dāng)我走進(jìn)她房間的時(shí)候，我發(fā)現(xiàn)她正躺在床上，眉頭緊鎖著專注地看著一本書。她并未抬起頭，而是伸出了一根僵硬的手指示意自己不想被打擾；當(dāng)她繼續(xù)看書時(shí)，她專心致志地繃緊了全身。

過了好一會(huì)兒，她把書放在胸前，抬起頭看我，同樣皺著眉頭。她立即開始指責(zé)我疏忽了她。當(dāng)我正要辯解的時(shí)候，她跟我嘮叨新的清潔女工打碎了一只藍(lán)酒杯；冰箱里快沒火雞肉片了，只有切片火腿；壁櫥的門也關(guān)不攏了。我向她保證我很快就會(huì)收拾好一切，需要的話，此時(shí)此刻馬上就給她弄好；作為回應(yīng)，她用一種緩緩地，夸張的方式翻了個(gè)白眼。突然，她盯著我的襯衫問道我是不是頂著那樣的衣領(lǐng)就去工作了。問我近來有沒有在鏡子前整整自己的頭發(fā)。

她的頭很痛；她的過敏癥正折磨著她；她確定她得了鼻竇感染；房間里封閉缺氧；窗子又卡住了。我上前幾步，輕松地拉高了窗戶。她問我是否在她的花銷上拮之又拮、省之又省會(huì)讓我很高興。她沒現(xiàn)金了；她的吹風(fēng)機(jī)壞了；咖啡機(jī)上的開關(guān)也壞了。