花甲之年的消防夢

by Andrea Peterson

When I was a child， my mother and I were trapped in a burning building in Los Angeles. We were forced to sit out on the second floor 1）window ledge because the only exit was blocked. When the firemen came， they said， “Throw the kid down！” I thought， “Wow， I can actually jump out a window！” I didnt know enough to be scared.

The firemen caught us and I remember thinking， “Yes， this is what I want to do when I grow up.” I remember standing there， a 2）feisty， 3）runty little redhead， saying， “Im gonna be a firemen just like you！” They laughed and said，“Youll be a good mommy， youll be a good teacher， maybe youll be a nurse， but you can never be a fireman.”

I went on to study 4）aviation technology at college. From where I was seated， the only woman in class， I had the distinct feeling I was being watched. I turned around and there was this very handsome man. Dennis and I hit it off instantly， and were together for four years， before getting married in 1979.

小時候，我和媽媽曾被困于洛杉磯的一棟著火的大廈里。我們被迫坐在二樓的窗臺外，因為唯一的出口被堵住了。當(dāng)消防員到來時，他們說：“把孩子扔下來！”我想：“哇，我居然可以真的從窗口跳下去！”那時，我還不太懂什么叫害怕。

消防員把我們接住了，我記得自己當(dāng)時想：“沒錯，這就是我長大后想做的事。”我記得自己站在那兒，一個不安分的紅發(fā)“小矮人”，說：“我要當(dāng)一名像你們那樣的消防員！”他們大笑起來，說道：“你會成為一位好媽媽，你會當(dāng)上好老師，又或者你會是個護士，但你永遠(yuǎn)也不會成為一名消防員。”

后來念大學(xué)，我學(xué)的是航空科技。作為班上唯一的女性，我坐在座位上明顯感到有一種被人注視的奇特感覺。我轉(zhuǎn)過身去，發(fā)現(xiàn)了那個很帥的男人。丹尼斯和我一見鐘情，談了四年戀愛后，在1979年結(jié)了婚。

But time 5）took its toll， and Dennis got very sick. As a Vietnam War veteran and pilot， he transported the dreadful 6）Agent Orange for 18 months. When he came back from Vietnam， doctors diagnosed him with cancer.

By the time he died six years ago， his body had completely shut down. He said， “This isnt living. Im ready to go. But what are you going to do？ How will you manage？” I told him Ill be fine， which gave him peace， and that was the end of that. I was mentally exhausted， physically destroyed and I needed time to heal.

A y e a r later， when I was 61， one of the villagers wrote an interesting article about riding in a local ambulance for the day. I had no idea such opportunities were available. My neighbor works for the fire department， so I went with him when he was on duty and within minutes we had a life or death ambulance call. All I could do was comfort the victim， but I wanted to do more. So I joined the next class to get an 7）emergency technician license. Soon I started riding on the fire calls， and the more I did it， the more I kept thinking， why didnt I do this when I was 20？

不過歲月不饒人，丹尼斯患了病，并且病得很厲害。作為一名越南戰(zhàn)爭的老兵和飛行員，他有一年半時間負(fù)責(zé)運送可怕的橘劑。當(dāng)他從越南歸來，醫(yī)生診斷他患上了癌癥。

六年前，當(dāng)他去世時，他的身體已經(jīng)完全垮了。他說：“這不是生活。我要走了。但你怎么辦呢？你怎么熬過來呢？”我告訴他，我會沒事的，這讓他心情平靜，然后他就這么走了。我那時已經(jīng)精疲力竭，心力交瘁，需要時間來療傷。

一年后，我61歲了，村子里有人寫了一篇關(guān)于與當(dāng)?shù)氐木茸o車隨行過一天的有趣文章。我當(dāng)時并不知道有這樣的機會向大眾開放。我的鄰居在消防局工作，因此當(dāng)他執(zhí)勤時，我便隨他一起出勤。不出幾分鐘，我們就收到了一個性命攸關(guān)的救護車呼叫。我所能做的是安撫受害者，但我想做更多。于是，我參加了下一門課程，希望取得急救員資格證。不久后，我就開始隨火警召喚出動了，而我參與得越多，就想得越多：為什么我在20歲的時候不干這個呢？

I was appointed to the fire department， and after a year I told my chief I wanted to be a firefighter. I showed up for training， looked around the room and there were around a dozen or so guys who were 18-21 years old. They looked at me， and asked “Are you one of the instructors？” I said， “No， Im one of your fellow students！” There was a stunned silence and a hostile feeling came over the room. Maybe because I was older or I was a woman， but I was there and it didnt 8）sit well.

The things they taught us were very technical； with plenty of studying and physical 9）workouts （I gained 10 lbs. of muscle just to handle the 60 lbs. of equipment）. The instructors expected me to drop out in a week， and there was no 10）encouragement from anyone.

At the end of the course， we had a very intensive practical exam， putting out real fires in a “burning building.” Then we had an extremely difficult written exam， and you needed a 70 to pass. It seemed impossible， so I asked a very kind-hearted instructor when I could try again.

He looked at me and said， “I know you and Im sure you passed. Well go over it together. You read me your answer and Ill tell you if its right or wrong.” I didnt 11）keep track but after a while he said， “Do you realize youre up to number 87 and you only need 70 to pass？”

I collapsed， crying， in a heap at his feet. I thought， “Oh no， I shouldnt be doing this because it isnt professional” but it was better than my wedding day！ It was the happiest day of my life.

I remember laughing and shrieking and singing the whole way home. I bought an armload of flowers because thats what my husband wouldve done. I got some champagne and stayed up all night telling friends and family. I was 66 years old when I received my firefighter 12）certification， which supposedly made me the oldest person， or at least oldest female ever， to be certified in the state， and possibly all of New England.

Why am I destined to do something so difficult， that most young men cant even do it？ Ill never know. I know I cant do this forever， and it breaks my heart. I worry that as I age—will I still have the 13）fortitude to move forward？ All I know is Im living my dream and to this day I still dont believe it.

我被委派到消防局，一年后，我對主管說，我想成為一名消防員。我去參加訓(xùn)練時，在房間環(huán)顧四周，看到里面大概有十多個年齡在18到20歲的男子。他們看著我，問道：“您是我們的其中一位導(dǎo)師嗎？”我說：“不是，我是你們的其中一個同學(xué)！”頓時，一陣駭人的沉默，一種敵視的情緒彌漫整個房間。可能因為我年紀(jì)大，又或是因為我是個女性，呆在那里，我有點格格不入。

他們教授的內(nèi)容技術(shù)性很強，需要大量的學(xué)習(xí)和體能測試（我增加了10磅的肌肉就是因為要拿60磅的裝備）。導(dǎo)師們都估計我一周后便會放棄，而且沒有人對我說鼓勵的話。

在課程結(jié)束時，我們有一個強化實戰(zhàn)考試，要在一棟“著了火的大廈”里滅火。接著，我們將要接受一個難度極高的書面考試，必須達到70分才算合格。那看起來簡直不可能，于是我向一名熱心腸的導(dǎo)師咨詢何時我能再考一次。

他看著我，說道：“我認(rèn)得你，我很肯定你考試通過了。我們一起核對一下吧。你把你的答案念給我聽，我來告訴你是對還是錯。”我當(dāng)時沒搞清楚他的意思，但過了一會兒后，他說道：“你知道嗎，你的分?jǐn)?shù)高達87，而你只要有70分就及格了？”

我崩潰了，大哭起來，癱軟在他腳下。我想：“噢，不會吧，我不應(yīng)該這個樣子，因為這個表現(xiàn)太不專業(yè)了”，但那真的是比我結(jié)婚那天還棒！那是我一生中最高興的日子。

我記得自己一路又笑又叫，哼著歌兒回了家。我買了一大束花，因為如果我丈夫還在的話，那是他會做的事。我喝了點香檳，徹夜不眠地向朋友和親人報喜。當(dāng)我拿到消防員資格證時，我66歲了，這一點估計讓我成為了本州，也有可能是整個新英格蘭年齡最大的消防員資格獲得者，或者至少是有史以來年齡最大的女性獲得者。

為什么我要做一些難度這么高的事？這些事連大部分年輕男子也未必勝任。我永遠(yuǎn)不知道答案。我明白自己不能永遠(yuǎn)干這行，這讓我很傷心。我擔(dān)心，隨著我年紀(jì)漸長——我是否還有這樣的毅力奮勇前行？我所知的是，我正活在自己的夢想中，到今天，我依然無法相信。