以吻封緘？——英美交流也抓狂

by Sophie Pitman

I love letters. 1）Snail mail is my preferred method of communication. There is nothing like opening up my mailbox to find a 2）bulging envelope， covered in stamps and addressed with familiar handwriting. Written communication is a wonderful thing， especially when living as a lone expat with family， friends and partner remaining back on British soil.

When I first moved to the United States， I had no suitcase space for prints and posters， so I issued a plea to my friends to send postcards with which I would decorate my room. My nearest and dearest answered the call， and I enjoyed seeing my 3）dorm room walls gradually fill up with artworks， 4）cheesy holiday vistas， and witty slogans. Little notes and hellos from my loved ones keep me going， and were a real 5）pickme-up in the early days when homesickness loomed.

Now， a little more seasoned， I still adore my postcards and letters. Postcards are now limited to one large frame and， of course， my fridge， where I keep them on regular rotation. But they are still much loved， and when received， take pride of place in my kitchen.

我喜歡信件。傳統(tǒng)郵遞信件是我更為喜愛的通訊方式。打開信箱，發(fā)現(xiàn)一個鼓鼓的信封，上面貼著郵票，寫著熟悉的字跡，沒有比這樣更愜意的事情了。書面交流是一件很美妙的事情，尤其當(dāng)你獨在異鄉(xiāng)，家人、朋友、伙伴都在英國本土?xí)r。

初來美國，我的行李沒有多余的位置放印刷品或海報，所以我請朋友們幫忙寄一些明信片過來以裝點房間。我最親密的朋友滿足了我的心愿，我喜歡看著我宿舍的墻壁漸漸布滿藝術(shù)畫作、俗氣的假日風(fēng)情畫和睿智的標(biāo)語。早期思鄉(xiāng)情濃，出自吾愛之手的小小便箋和問候使我得以繼續(xù)前進(jìn)，打起精神。

如今人變得成熟些了，但我仍非常珍愛我的明信片和信件?，F(xiàn)在明信片只限貼于一個大相框中，還有，當(dāng)然就是貼在冰箱外，我定期會對其進(jìn)行更新。然而，它們?nèi)栽谖倚闹姓紦?jù)著重要一席，剛剛收到時它們都會被置于廚房最顯眼的位置。

Dont get me wrong， I could not survive without 6）Skype. I adore being able to chat face to face for free. I also spend countless hours a week on Facebook and Twitter， staying in touch with old friends and keeping up with what is going on back in the UK. How anyone coped with being an expat in the days before the Internet， I do not know. I applaud you.

Most of my communications， however， are by email. Like almost everyone， I use email for both my personal and work lives. Although I have been using email for many years， since coming to the US， my email style has had to shift 7）significantly. And as I just discovered， there are still rules I need to learn.

It took me a while to get used to the informal tone adopted by many of my American peers. My emails were sometimes read by their 8）recipient as cool or brusque， while I often felt responses brief or 9）flippant. I could be overly polite， and called my tutors “Dr，” rather than “Professor” as is common here. When I 10）got the hang of addressing my superiors correctly， and relaxing my tone， I confused everyone by signing off with a casual “cheers.”

別誤會，我承認(rèn)，沒了訊佳普，我是活不下去的。我喜歡可以免費“面對面”的交談。我每周也在臉譜網(wǎng)和推特微博上耗費無數(shù)個小時，跟老朋友保持聯(lián)絡(luò)，更新英國那邊的資訊。我不知道互聯(lián)網(wǎng)還沒發(fā)明以前身在異鄉(xiāng)的人們是怎么活的。我為他們鼓掌。

然而，我大多數(shù)的交流都是通過電郵完成的。跟幾乎所有人一樣，我在私人生活和工作中都使用電郵。雖然用電郵已是老手了，但自從來到美國后，我的電郵風(fēng)格不得不作出明顯的轉(zhuǎn)變。而且我發(fā)現(xiàn)，要學(xué)的規(guī)矩還有很多呢。

我花了好些時間才習(xí)慣美國同齡人所常用的輕松口吻。我的電郵有時會給他們一種冷淡或生硬的感覺，與此同時我則常常覺得他們的回應(yīng)簡短輕率。我會被認(rèn)為過于有禮，我稱呼我的老師為“博士”，而非像這里常用的“教授”。當(dāng)我把握了對上級的正確稱謂，并以輕松的口吻，用“cheers”一詞結(jié)束電郵時，卻使得人感到莫名其妙。

Rather than reading this as a brief “thanks” at the end of the email， I soon discovered that some of my American correspondents were 11）perplexed when I seemingly toasted them at the end of the email. Us Brits have something of a reputation as 12）boozers， which I suppose I did not help by implying that I might be downing pints as I signed off my morning emails.

Now three years into graduate study here in the US， I thought I had it nailed. But today I discovered one thing I have been getting wrong for years. I think nothing of signing off a text or email to a friend with a “x.” Usually I opt for a casual single “x，” sometimes I go for two， and when I am overly keen or in need of a favour， my recipient is treated with a triple “xxx.” Between British friends， even those who would never 13）contemplate kissing in person （on the cheek or otherwise）， signing off with a kiss or three is no big deal. But my casual “x”s （to friends， mind you， never professors） have never elicited a response from my US friends—on facebook， email， or text.

Whilst none seem offended by what must be interpreted as an overly 14）amourous farewell， it just is not the done thing over here.

I am not， in person， a kiss-y person. As a child， I would wipe unwanted kisses from my cheeks as soon as relatives turned away. Even on the continent， where I am constantly confused by how many kisses to give as a greeting （when is it two or three？）， I am slightly embarrassed by the 15）over-familiarity of cheek kissing. But I realised today， with mild horror， that I have been the email 16）equivalent of that overly 17）slobbery Great-Aunt at the family gettogether， or the unfamiliar European at a party.

It just goes to show， you never stop learning about foreign cultures. Whilst my letters and cards to friends back home might be sealed with a kiss， from now on American friends， I promise not to 18）torment you with unwanted affection.

沒有把這詞解讀為郵件結(jié)束時使用的簡潔“謝謝”，我很快發(fā)現(xiàn)一些與我電郵往來的美國人對我這一看似是祝酒詞的結(jié)語感到煞是困惑。我們英國人是出了名的酒壇子，我這么一大早寫郵件就一句“cheers”的結(jié)尾，他們準(zhǔn)以為我真喝多了，全然無助于他們消解對英國人的偏見。

現(xiàn)在，在美國讀了三年研究生，我以為我已徹底了解這一文化。但是今天我發(fā)現(xiàn)有件事一直被我誤解了多年。我覺得給朋友的短信或電郵以“x”收尾是很平常的一件事。通常我會選擇不經(jīng)意地敲一個“x”，有時會敲兩個，當(dāng)我熱切期望又或是急需幫忙時，我會給收件人寫上三個“x”。在英國朋友間，即使是那些從來不會考慮親吻對方（不論是臉龐或其它地方）的人，以一個或三個吻結(jié)束郵件是小事一樁。但我那不經(jīng)意的“x”（提醒：只是用在朋友間，從沒出現(xiàn)在與教授的交流中）卻從來沒能得到任一美國友人的回應(yīng)，不論那是在臉譜網(wǎng)、電郵或短信中。

我這習(xí)慣結(jié)語肯定是被理解為飽含過分愛意的再會，但似乎也沒有人受到冒犯，只是這并非美國日常禮儀而已。

就身體力行而言，我并非一個喜歡親吻的人。在孩童時期，親戚一轉(zhuǎn)身我就要擦掉他們在我臉上留下的吻。即使在歐洲，我常常因不知道和對方打招呼時該給多少個親吻而感到困惑（何時該給兩個或三個？），面對那些對臉頰親吻之禮過分嫻熟的人，我會有點不好意思。然而，讓我有點郁悶的是我今天才意識到，我一直成了電郵中的不速之客，猶如家庭聚會中那見人就親的姑姥姥又或是派對中那些對陌生人熱情獻(xiàn)吻的歐洲人。

這只是說明，學(xué)習(xí)外國文化是永無止境的一件事。我的信件和卡片在英國老家或許可以以吻封緘，但從今開始，我向我的美國朋友們保證，我再也不會用那不受歡迎的熱情騷擾你們了。

小鏈接：

Sealed with a Kiss

以吻封緘

這是著名美國電影《蝴蝶夢》（Rebecca）主題曲的歌名，意思是：用吻來把信封粘上，傳遞思念之情?！逗麎簟肥菓乙纱髱熛^(qū)柯克的第一部好萊塢作品，根據(jù)Daphne Du Maurier的小說改編，獲得奧斯卡最佳影片獎。曲中充滿留戀的歌詞加上 Brian Hyland凄婉的、純粹的嗓音唱出了好友、戀人之間欲走還留的心情。