抓住契機(jī)，再現(xiàn)情景，構(gòu)建續(xù)寫情節(jié)

唐孝云

一、策略概述

在讀后續(xù)寫中，隨著故事的發(fā)展，主人公發(fā)生改變的契機(jī)就會出現(xiàn)。契機(jī)，通常指事物發(fā)展過程中的關(guān)鍵、樞紐或決定性的環(huán)節(jié)。在讀后續(xù)寫中，契機(jī)常有以下兩種情況：第一種契機(jī)往往是主人公受到了幫助或者是啟發(fā)。由于這個契機(jī)的出現(xiàn)，主人公的內(nèi)心開始發(fā)生轉(zhuǎn)變，進(jìn)而改變主人公在原文故事情景再現(xiàn)時的行為方式。第二種則是與原文相同或類似的情景再現(xiàn)時，主人公采取了積極的行為方式帶來了正面的影響，成為故事發(fā)展的契機(jī)，進(jìn)而改變主人公在原文中提到的其他情景再現(xiàn)時的行為方式。另外，無論出現(xiàn)的是哪一種契機(jī)，主人公在情景再現(xiàn)時的行為方式都是積極正面的?，F(xiàn)以兩篇模擬題為例解析如何抓住契機(jī)，再現(xiàn)原文情景構(gòu)建續(xù)寫情節(jié)。

二、實(shí)例分析

（佛山2022屆高三統(tǒng)一調(diào)研模擬題）閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

When the Spellman family moved next door to us， my mother believed that they were sent to test her good nature. See， our block was pretty quiet until the Spellman family came. There were senior citizens， the newlywed couple， and us—the Middleton family. We didnt live in any way like the Spellman family did. We kept our lawn cut and turned off our lights at 9 p.m. However， the Spellman family had quite a different lifestyle.

The first thing that you must know is that there were sixteen of them， all different ages from twin babies to grown men. That part is only relevant because each Spellman had a loud personality， and sixteen loud personalities create a lot of volume. They played loud music day and night， had crowds of noisy guests coming and going， and every one of those sixteen Spellmans must have owned a bike that they kept resting in the front yard.

Living next to those Spellmans almost drove my mother crazy. If she wasnt complaining to her sister Jackie about the way the Spellman girls dressed， then she was shooting the Spellmans dogs out of our yard or filling noise complaints with the police. My mother had never been so busy. She was even organizing a“good neighbors”committee to discuss ways to improve the neighborhood. All she ever spoke of was the Spellman family and their wrongdoings.

One Sunday afternoon， my mother was driving Ms. Parker home to her house on the hill when we got a flat tire. My father was out of town at the time， so it was just me， my mother， and Ms. Parker. All of us might have been able to get the spare tire out of the trunk， but as far as changing the tire， we were totally clueless. Since Ms. Parker lived so far up that hill， not a lot of traffic drove by us. It had been about fifteen minutes since the last car passed when we heard the sharp noise of an old car.

注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1： It was the Spellmans car._________________

_____________________________________________________

Paragraph 2： The next day the Spellmans dogs walked through my mothers flower garden again.____________________

_____________________________________________________

根據(jù)故事原文，“我”的媽媽不喜歡新搬來的鄰居 the Spellman一家，認(rèn)為他們不是“好”鄰居，于是在許多生活情景中媽媽的行為都表現(xiàn)出對他們的不滿。某個星期天下午，“我”的媽媽在送Parker女士回家的路上，輪胎漏氣。由于在半山坡上，車非常少，找不到可以幫忙的人。根據(jù)段首句，就在這個時候the Spellman一家出現(xiàn)了。The Spellman接下來的所作所為正是使“我”的媽媽內(nèi)心發(fā)生改變的契機(jī)。根據(jù)正能量原則，再結(jié)合所給段首句，構(gòu)建續(xù)寫情節(jié)如下表所示：

A possible version：

Paragraph 1： It was the Spellmans car. At the sight of us， they pulled over slowly and finally stopped the car not far from ours. Two grown-ups came out of it and walked towards us straightly. Though feeling a little awkward， my mother tried her best to search some proper words to ask for help. Before my mother could say something， they comforted us，“Dont worry， we will help you.”They seemed to be expert in it， for they did the job skillfully. Soon， we were back on our wheels. My mother thanked them sincerely. One of them responded，“Thats not a big deal， my dear neighbour.”Hearing that， my mother sank into thought， murmuring，“Yes， we are neighbours.”

Paragraph 2： The next day the Spellmans dogs walked through my mothers flower garden again. Unexpectedly， she didnt shoot them out this time， instead， she gave them food and water. From then on， things began to change. My mother could put up with her new neighbour gradually. When hearing the loud music， she sang along with it， sometimes， even danced with it unconsciously. For those coming and going crowds of noisy guests， she occasionally said hello to them. When she saw the Spellman girls， she began to look the best in them. Most surprisingly， she invited the Spellman to join in the“good neighbors”committee to discuss ways to improve the neighborhood together. All she devoted to was to be a good neighbour herself.

三、模擬訓(xùn)練

（佛山市高三普通高中4月教學(xué)質(zhì)量檢測二）閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個完整的故事。

Mai Lin wasnt doing well enough at school， or at least she wasnt satisfied with herself. She wished she could do better.

“Lets review the material we learned in the last unit，”the history teacher said.“Who can tell us what caused the War of 1812？”Mai Lin sat at her desk， staring ahead. She hoped the teacher wouldnt call her name. They hadnt studied the War of 1812 at her old school and she didnt know the answer.

“Alison？”the teacher asked instead. Oh， perfect， Mai Lin thought. Of course Alison would have the answer. She seemed to have all the answers. Alison was the most popular girl in school—always surrounded by millions of boyfriends， best friends， and others. She was like a brilliant sun.

Mai Lin hadnt made one or two friends of her own so far. Her old school was small and low-key， but a shy person like Mai Lin had a chance there. This new school， however， seemed as big as an airport to Mai Lin， and it seemed very hard to get around in it. She still got lost sometimes in the school.

Mai Lin frowned（皺眉）as Alison answered the teachers question. Alison probably never got lost， Mai Lin thought to herself. You could probably put Alison down in the middle of a desert， and within five minutes shed be able to tell you the best way to get home.

History class finally ended， and Mai Lin headed for the gym. The class had been playing basketball. Alison， who was as tall and thin and attractive as a tree， was very good at it. Beside her， Mai Lin felt like a very small and foolish ant. Today， however， the gym teacher pointed to a thick rope hanging from the ceiling and said，“Everybody！ Youre going to climb this rope today.”

注意：

1. 所續(xù)寫短文的詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右;

2. 續(xù)寫部分分為兩段，每段的開頭語已為你寫好。

Paragraph 1： Hearing the teachers words， Mai Lin smiled.

Paragraph 2： Mai Lin stepped forward and got close to the rope.

讀原文找出讓故事主人公發(fā)生變化的契機(jī)，以及主人公發(fā)生變化后，行為方式也會相應(yīng)發(fā)生變化的原文中的情景，并根據(jù)正能量原則結(jié)合段首句構(gòu)建續(xù)寫情節(jié)，完成下表：

Possible answers：

A possible version：

Paragraph 1： Hearing the teachers words， Mai Lin smiled.“Who would like to have a try？”the gym teacher asked. Mai Lin stood there， with her heart beating wildly. Though she felt nervous and a little scared， she hoped the teacher would call her name this time. They had practiced climbing ropes at her old school and she was an expert in it. Before she could make up her mind to put up her hand， the gym teacher asked all the students to line up and climb the rope by turns because there was no volunteer. Every student spared no effort to climb the rope one by one but no one succeeded. Even Alison failed too. Finally， it was Mai Lins turn.

Paragraph 2： Mai Lin stepped forward and got close to the rope. After taking a deep breath， she grasped the rope firmly and started climbing as fast as a monkey. Soon， she climbed to the ceiling and came down to the ground. Everyone including Alison applauded for her to show their admiration. At that moment， she felt she was no longer a very small and foolish ant but a brilliant sun. She realized that everyone has his own merits and demerits. From then on， Mai Lin made more and more friends. Though the school seemed as big as an airport， she could get around in it easily with the help of her new friends and never got lost. She began to do well at school and felt satisfied with herself gradually.

四、結(jié)語

總之，讀后續(xù)寫中出現(xiàn)的故事，無論是何種主題，按照故事的發(fā)展都將會出現(xiàn)契機(jī)，讓故事朝著積極正面的方向發(fā)展。本文著重分析的是主人公因?yàn)槠鯔C(jī)發(fā)生改變的故事類型。而此類故事多以“人與社會”或“人與自我”為主題。因此，在閱讀此類故事時，考生要認(rèn)真梳理文章脈絡(luò)，梳理故事發(fā)展過程中主人公遇到的主要情景，抓住故事的契機(jī)，分析契機(jī)的類型，充分發(fā)揮契機(jī)的作用，在完成續(xù)寫時，再現(xiàn)原文情景，構(gòu)建出符合邏輯、銜接合理的情節(jié)，寫好續(xù)寫語篇。

責(zé)任編輯 吳昊雷