幽默五則
2009-01-01 00:00:00
中學(xué)英語(yǔ)之友·上 2009年3期
A Thank-you Letter
Mom: Are you writing a thank-you letter to Grandpa like I told you?
Son: Yes， Mum.
Mom: Look! You write one word on every piece of paper.
Son: Well， Grandpa can’t see very well， so I’m writing with very large letters， or he can’t read it.
感謝信
媽媽：你是在按照我說(shuō)的給爺爺寫感謝信嗎？
兒子：是的，媽媽。
媽媽：看哪，你每張紙就寫一個(gè)單詞。
兒子：嗯，爺爺?shù)难劬Σ缓茫晕矣煤艽笞帜笇?，不然他看不?jiàn)。
History
Son: I wish I’d lived in the older times.
Mother: Why do you think so?
Son: Because there wouldn’t be such a long history for me to learn.
歷史
兒子：我希望生活在古代。
母親：你為什么這么想？
兒子：因?yàn)樯钤诠糯揖筒粫?huì)有這么長(zhǎng)的歷史要學(xué)了。
All Languages
An Englishman gets to a hotel in France. He reads the words on the door:“All languages spoken here.”
He speaks to the manager in English， German and Russian， but he gets no answer. At last he asks in French:“Who speaks all the languages here?”
“The hotel guests，” the manager says.
各種語(yǔ)言
一個(gè)英國(guó)人到法國(guó)的一家旅館。他看了門上的字條：“這兒說(shuō)各種語(yǔ)言?！?/p>
他用英語(yǔ)、德語(yǔ)和俄語(yǔ)跟旅館的經(jīng)理說(shuō)話，但都得不到回答。最后，他用法語(yǔ)問(wèn)道：“這兒誰(shuí)說(shuō)各種語(yǔ)言？”
經(jīng)理說(shuō)：“旅館的客人們?！?/p>
AGentleman
Dick is seven years old， and his sister， Cathy， is five. One day their mother takes them to their aunt’s house.
Their aunt gives Dick a nice cake and a knife. She says to him， “Now here’s a knife， Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister， but remember to do it like a gentleman.”
“Like a gentleman?” Dick asks. “How do gentlemen do it?”
“They always give the bigger piece to the other person，” answers his aunt.
“Oh，” says Dick. He thinks about this for a few seconds. Then he takes the cake to his sister and says to her，“Cut this cake in half， Cathy.”
紳士
迪克今年七歲，他的妹妹凱茜今年五歲。一天，媽媽帶他們?nèi)ヒ虌尲摇?/p>
姨媽給迪克一塊精美的蛋糕和一把刀子，并對(duì)他說(shuō)：“迪克，給你刀子，把這塊蛋糕一切為二，給你妹妹一塊。不過(guò)，你得記住要做得像一個(gè)紳士那樣?！?/p>
迪克問(wèn)：“像一個(gè)紳士？紳士怎樣做呢？”
他姨媽答道：“紳士總是把大的一塊讓給別人?！?/p>
迪克“噢”了一聲。他想了幾秒，然后把蛋糕拿給妹妹，并對(duì)她說(shuō)：“凱茜，你來(lái)把這塊蛋糕一切為二吧?！?/p>
Birthday Cake
Mother: You are five years old today. Happy birthday!
Son: Thank you， Mom.
Mother: Would you like a birthday cake with five candles on it?
Son: No.
Mother: Why?
Son: Because I’d like five cakes with one candle.
生日蛋糕
母親: 今年你5歲了，生日快樂(lè)。
兒子: 謝謝你，媽媽。
母親:你想要一個(gè)上面插有五支蠟燭的蛋糕嗎？
兒子： 不。
母親： 為什么？
兒子： 我想要五個(gè)生日蛋糕，一支蠟燭。
