適當(dāng)拓展細(xì)節(jié)，提升作文檔次

龐群

高考趨勢(shì)

近年來(lái)書面表達(dá)試題的開(kāi)放性越來(lái)越強(qiáng)，只為考生提供一個(gè)籠統(tǒng)的寫作提綱，要求考生圍繞寫作提綱進(jìn)行適當(dāng)?shù)匕l(fā)揮，自主確定寫作內(nèi)容，這體現(xiàn)出高考對(duì)考生創(chuàng)新能力的考查。（半）開(kāi)放性體現(xiàn)在試題既為考生提供了恰當(dāng)?shù)奶崾?，又留有供其發(fā)揮的空間，既讓低水平的考生有話可寫，又讓高水平的考生有展現(xiàn)自己語(yǔ)言表達(dá)能力的機(jī)會(huì)。但不同的細(xì)節(jié)拓展和發(fā)揮能顯示學(xué)生不同的語(yǔ)言和思想水平，保證了試卷的區(qū)分度。

拓展技巧

1. 交際性拓展

【例1】假定你是李華，正在教你的英國(guó)朋友Leslie學(xué)習(xí)漢語(yǔ)。請(qǐng)你寫封郵件告知下次的上課計(jì)劃，內(nèi)容包括：

1. 時(shí)間和地點(diǎn);

2. 內(nèi)容：學(xué)習(xí)唐詩(shī);

3. 課前準(zhǔn)備：簡(jiǎn)要了解唐朝的歷史。

I am writing to tell you something about our next lesson.

→How is everything going？ Im more than delighted to witness your great progress in Chinese learning recently and I am writing to tell you something about our next lesson.

2. 時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)拓展

【例2】假定你是李華，請(qǐng)給你的美國(guó)網(wǎng)友Mary寫一封郵件，建議她報(bào)名參加今年暑假為期5天的四川成都熊貓飼養(yǎng)員的夏令營(yíng)，報(bào)名網(wǎng)址是www.pandacamp.com。內(nèi)容包括：

1. 提出建議;

2. 活動(dòng)內(nèi)容;

3. 報(bào)名方式。

The camp lasts five days in Chengdu， Sichuan.

→The camp falls on July 15th and lasts five days in Chengdu， Sichuan， where you have been dreaming of travelling.

3. 事例性拓展

【例3】假定你是李華，下周將有一些來(lái)自友好學(xué)校的英國(guó)師生到你校進(jìn)行為期一周的訪問(wèn)和交流，請(qǐng)你代表學(xué)校給英方代表Mr Johns發(fā)一封郵件，內(nèi)容包括：

1. 表示歡迎;

2. 活動(dòng)及食宿安排;

3. 活動(dòng)目的。

A wide range of delicious food will be available for you to choose from.

→A wide range of delicious food will be available for you to choose from， including Guangzhou Cuisine， Shangdong Cuisine， Jiangsu Cuisine and Sichuan Cuisine. Whether you love spicy food or have a sweet tooth， Chinese cuisine will definitely satisfy your appetite.

4. 邏輯性拓展

【例4】假定你是李華，你的朋友Tom邀請(qǐng)你下周去他們學(xué)校參加文化交流活動(dòng)并向外國(guó)朋友介紹中國(guó)的傳統(tǒng)繪畫，但你忙于準(zhǔn)備期末考試，不得不謝絕邀請(qǐng)。內(nèi)容包括：

1. 謝絕邀請(qǐng);

2. 說(shuō)明理由;

3. 推薦朋友Mary參加，并說(shuō)明原因。

Id like to recommend my best friend Mary to you. First and foremost， having attended a summer school in Yale University last year， Mary excels undoubtedly at English. Besides， Mary has been obsessed with Chinese painting since she was a child and has learned it for more than ten years.

→Id like to recommend my best friend Mary to you. First and foremost， having attended a summer school in Yale University last year， Mary excels undoubtedly at English， as a result of which， it is a piece of cake for her to introduce everything to international friends. Besides， Mary has been obsessed with Chinese painting since she was a child and has learned it for more than ten years. Therefore， she has a deep insight into the essence of this great art form and can introduce the glamour of the works well to the visitors.

5. 過(guò)渡性拓展

【例5】假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)的高三學(xué)生李華，你的英國(guó)朋友Jim在給你的郵件中提到他對(duì)中國(guó)文化感興趣，計(jì)劃明年來(lái)北京上大學(xué)，向你咨詢相關(guān)信息。請(qǐng)給他回郵件，內(nèi)容包括：

1. 表示歡迎;

2. 推薦他上哪所大學(xué);

3. 建議他做哪些準(zhǔn)備工作。

Youd better grab the chance to study Chinese before you come here. In this way， you will be better involved in the environment of Chinese. And either chatting with me or reading Chinese novels will enhance your Chinese language speaking. Its also a good way to browse the Internet to acquaint yourself with background knowledge of profoundness of Chinese culture.

→In terms of the necessary preparation， my suggestions for you are as follows. On the one hand， youd better grab the chance to study Chinese before you come here. In this way， you will be better involved in the environment of Chinese. And either chatting with me or reading Chinese novels will enhance your Chinese language speaking. On the other hand， its a good way to browse the Internet to acquaint yourself with background knowledge of profoundness of Chinese culture.

拓展原則

1. 合邏輯原則

【例6】假定你是李華，作為交換生在國(guó)際學(xué)院英語(yǔ)學(xué)校（Academy International School of English）學(xué)習(xí)。你不慎把包遺落在校圖書館里，包里有一本《唐詩(shī)三百首》。你看到了失物招領(lǐng)后，請(qǐng)你就預(yù)約取回時(shí)間、詢問(wèn)義工事宜等向Mr Brown寫封郵件。

Im Li Hua， a Chinese student of Academy International School of English. I feel sorry to interrupt you but I accidentally lost the bag.

My bag is small and black， which is the same with your description you gave in the Found. ?Inside is a poetry collection named Three Hundred Tang Poems， whose cover is in Chinese style but wornout. The book， which I bought to prepare for a speech to my classmates and teachers to show Chinese greatest literature achievements， is of great importance to me. Time permitting， could we meet at 8：00 this Sunday morning at the desk where you found the bag？ If you are not available at that time， please keep me informed in advance what time suits you best.

To compensate for the inconvenience caused， I am willing to volunteer in the library for a month. Thanks again for your kindness. Your prompt reply is highly appreciated.

合邏輯原則即理由充分，與細(xì)節(jié)和寫作背景吻合。例題中“詢問(wèn)義工事宜”與文章背景是相關(guān)的，若因想鍛煉自己能力而申請(qǐng)參加義工，則顯得有些突兀，與文章邏輯不符。而該優(yōu)秀作文用“做義工”來(lái)報(bào)答“送還書籍”這一細(xì)節(jié)的添加，使得要點(diǎn)之間邏輯更合理。

2. 正能量原則

【例7】假定你是李華，你的美國(guó)朋友Sam得知你最近參加了由學(xué)校組織的研學(xué)旅行活動(dòng)，來(lái)信向你咨詢相關(guān)情況，請(qǐng)你給他回信，內(nèi)容包括：

1. 活動(dòng)目的;

2. 活動(dòng)地點(diǎn)和內(nèi)容;

3. 活動(dòng)感受。

Dear Sam，

Knowing that you have an interest in my study trip organized by my school， Im writing in response to your inquiry about the relevant information about it.

Aimed at raising students awareness of inheriting traditional Chinese culture and getting us immersed in the historical atmosphere， our school organized a study trip in the local history museum last month.

Upon our arrival， the guide showed us around the main exhibition hall， where we were completely immersed in the profound traditional Chinese culture and rich history. Next came the moment when we were led to a themed hall， which contained a variety of traditional works of art， among which the papercutting works attracted me most. Personally speaking， without this excellent experience， I wouldnt have realized that it is our duty to pass the traditional culture from generation to generation.

Sincerely hoping that my study trip can arouse your great interest in Chinese culture， Im firmly convinced that never will it fail to live up to your expectations. If you have similar experiences， please dont hesitate to share with me.

Yours，

Li Hua

正能量原則即體現(xiàn)身心健康、樂(lè)于助人、愛(ài)學(xué)習(xí)、愛(ài)勞動(dòng)、熱愛(ài)祖國(guó)和傳統(tǒng)文化等可貴品質(zhì)。本文作者在研學(xué)活動(dòng)中，熱愛(ài)中國(guó)傳統(tǒng)文化，虛心學(xué)習(xí)，體現(xiàn)了當(dāng)代中國(guó)青少年的責(zé)任擔(dān)當(dāng)，傳播了正能量。

3. 高情商原則

【例8】假定你是李華，暑期你因?qū)⒓又驹刚呋顒?dòng)而取消英國(guó)旅行計(jì)劃，因此不能前往拜訪外教Smith。請(qǐng)你寫信給外教Smith向他表達(dá)歉意。內(nèi)容包括：

1. 道歉并說(shuō)明原因;

2. 期待未來(lái)的見(jiàn)面。

Dear Smith，

Im writing to convey my heartfelt apology to you. Last term， I promised to pay you a visit this summer vacation， but Im awfully sorry that I cant travel to England as scheduled.

The reason why I wont be available at that time is that I have to participate in a volunteer program this summer vacation. I signed up for it last year， but it was not until this morning that I was informed of being admitted into the project， whose timetable conflicts with the planned trip. Consequently， I have no alternative but to change my plan. Breaking the promise makes me heartbroken.

Had it not been for the epidemic， we could have a holiday lasting for 3 months. The shortened vacation means I will miss the chance to visit you this summer. Time permitting， I can make it next winter in the hope of compensating for our lost happy time. If that suits you， please drop me a line at your convenience.

Yours，

Li Hua

高情商原則即設(shè)身處地為對(duì)方著想，有禮貌，有涵養(yǎng)，讓人如沐春風(fēng)。該優(yōu)秀作文中關(guān)于取消計(jì)劃的原因（時(shí)間沖突）為客觀原因，比主觀原因更讓對(duì)方容易接受。添加“今早才得到消息，馬上就寫信告知”的細(xì)節(jié)讓對(duì)方感受到作者的真誠(chéng)。

4. 大格局原則

【例9】假設(shè)你是紅星中學(xué)的高三學(xué)生李華。你的英國(guó)網(wǎng)友Jim在給你的郵件中提到他很想了解你的職業(yè)規(guī)劃，請(qǐng)你給他寫一封回信，內(nèi)容包括：

1. 你希望從事的職業(yè);

2. 你選擇該職業(yè)的原因;

3. 你打算為之做何準(zhǔn)備。

Dear Jim，

How is everything going？ Knowing that you are curious about my career plan， Im writing to share my opinions with you.

Environmental Engineer is the job in my dreams. As a new career popped out just in the recent years， I didnt know much about it first. However， after I got to know about it from a discussion with a friend and looked deeper into it on the websites， I learned that it is actually to create a better environment for citizens to live in. As we all know， the heavy smog in Beijing has aroused global concern and its harm to peoples health is yet to be measured. Suffering from the air pollution， I think of choosing this career as a direct way to help change the present situation and to give the blue sky back to this city I love.

Whats your plan for your future job？ Looking forward to your early reply.

Yours，

Li Hua

大格局原則即突破小我，關(guān)注大我（人與人/人與社會(huì)/人與自然），關(guān)注社會(huì)/國(guó)家/文化交流/環(huán)保等。本文作者夢(mèng)想的職業(yè)是環(huán)境工程師，因?yàn)樗霝槭忻駝?chuàng)造更有益健康的環(huán)境，做出自己的貢獻(xiàn)，突破了小我，關(guān)注人與自然，凸顯大格局。