生活與學(xué)習(xí)：豐富、充實(shí)、積極向上的生活

寫(xiě)作要求

豐富、充實(shí)且積極向上的生活，是一幅絢麗多彩的畫(huà)卷，是心靈深處對(duì)美好事物不懈追求的體現(xiàn)。請(qǐng)你講述自己在周末或假期的見(jiàn)聞、經(jīng)歷，或者對(duì)精彩生活的思考和感悟等。

要求：（1）詞數(shù)80左右；（2）條理清晰，語(yǔ)句通順，意義連貫，書(shū)寫(xiě)規(guī)范。

技法點(diǎn)撥

1.審題

（1）審文體：描述一次有意義的經(jīng)歷為敘述文，可通過(guò)具體的細(xì)節(jié)來(lái)展現(xiàn)積極的體驗(yàn)和感悟；介紹或表達(dá)對(duì)有意義的生活的安排，可為說(shuō)明文。

（2）審主題：文章或明或暗地表達(dá)出這次經(jīng)歷如何豐富了自己的生活，或自己將通過(guò)何種方式構(gòu)建一種豐富、充實(shí)且積極向上的生活。

（3）審人稱和時(shí)態(tài)：使用第一人稱“我”（I）或“我們”（we）來(lái)敘述，以增加文章的真實(shí)性和代入感。主要采用一般過(guò)去時(shí)來(lái)敘述自己在已發(fā)生的事中的所見(jiàn)所聞和所感；在表述個(gè)人生活的長(zhǎng)期規(guī)律性的行為和習(xí)慣時(shí)，可使用一般現(xiàn)在時(shí)；在表述規(guī)劃時(shí)可使用一般將來(lái)時(shí)。

2.列提綱

（1）首段：開(kāi)門(mén)見(jiàn)山，直接點(diǎn)明主題或話題，可以是時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)、人物等要素的簡(jiǎn)述，或直接表達(dá)自己的觀點(diǎn)和立場(chǎng)。

（2）中間段：具體描述見(jiàn)聞與經(jīng)歷，表達(dá)感受；或提出具體的建議并說(shuō)明原因。

（3）尾段：總結(jié)感受，或提出觀點(diǎn)和思考。

河南省鄭州金水外國(guó)語(yǔ)學(xué)校

學(xué)生范文

A Trip to the Zoo

杜昊毅

Today， I went to the zoo because here came two new animals. Let’s go and have a look.

The first animal is a panda. Its name is Feifei. As we all know， panda is the treasure of China. It likes eating bamboo. It is really lovely and shy. It is only two years old.

The other animal is a lion. Its name is Karl. It is from Africa. Its favorite food is meat. And it looks very strong and dangerous. Karl is one year older than Feifei.

I love not only these two animals， but also all animals in the world. Let’s protect animals together.

河南省鄭州麗水外國(guó)語(yǔ)學(xué)校

指導(dǎo)老師 任雨晨

點(diǎn) 評(píng)

文章要點(diǎn)齊全，結(jié)構(gòu)合理，邏輯清晰。在此基礎(chǔ)上，句型結(jié)構(gòu)豐富，連接詞使用得當(dāng)?！皃anda is the treasure of China”這句話，不僅展示了作者豐富的詞匯量和良好的表達(dá)能力，同時(shí)也點(diǎn)明了熊貓對(duì)于中國(guó)的獨(dú)特意義，是本文的亮點(diǎn)。此外，作者通過(guò)使用“older than”比較級(jí)結(jié)構(gòu)描寫(xiě)?yīng){子的年齡，讓文章的句型更加豐富。

My Wonderful Trip

時(shí)銘霞

Have you ever been to Anhui I have been there several times. It’s actually a beautiful province. I fell in love with it when I first travelled there.

I went to Anhui with my family last Autumn. It was cool and nice， with breeze blowing gently. There， we climbed Mount Huangshan and visited some ancient villages， which are famous scenic spots in Anhui and attract lots of visitors from all over the world every year. In addition， we also watched Huangmei opera， which is so unique that it has become a symbol of Anhui. Apart from that， we also enjoyed Maofeng tea. All of us loved it so much that we bought a lot.

All in all， this trip to Anhui has left me a deep impression that I’ll never forget.

河南省鄭州龍門(mén)實(shí)驗(yàn)學(xué)校

指導(dǎo)老師 孫夢(mèng)波

點(diǎn) 評(píng)

文章主要介紹了“我”和家人去年秋天去安徽的旅行經(jīng)歷，解釋“我”喜歡安徽的原因，并在最后以“this trip to Anhui has left me…”一句進(jìn)行總結(jié)，邏輯清晰，結(jié)構(gòu)完整。在語(yǔ)言表達(dá)方面，作者能夠靈活運(yùn)用with復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)、定語(yǔ)從句以及非限制性定語(yǔ)從句等表達(dá)，正確運(yùn)用現(xiàn)在完成時(shí)描述已經(jīng)發(fā)生的事情，值得肯定。

How to Spend a Meaningful Summer Vacation

樊安隅

The summer vacation is around the corner. How can we spend the vacation in a proper way The measures that I want to tell you are as follows.

First of all， on no account can we waste time on video games. Playing games can not only lead to health problems but also make our relationships with our family worse. We should keep on reading and doing exercise to keep our mind and body healthy. What’s more， we can be volunteers. Just as the saying goes， “The roses in her hands， the flavor in mine.” By helping others in need， we can get a strong feeling of satisfaction.

All in all， on no account can we ignore the importance of spending a meaningful summer vacation. What about you What are your suggestions

河南省鄭州金桂中學(xué)

指導(dǎo)老師 辛?xí)?/p>

點(diǎn) 評(píng)

文章結(jié)構(gòu)清晰，開(kāi)頭直接點(diǎn)題，結(jié)尾部分以問(wèn)句的形式引導(dǎo)讀者思考，增加了互動(dòng)性。使用表順序的詞，如“First of all”和“What’s more”，使文章邏輯清晰。使用倒裝句“on no account can we…”增強(qiáng)了句子的表達(dá)力。文中給出了具體的建議，如避免沉迷于游戲、保持身心健康、參與志愿活動(dòng)等，還使用了名言“The roses in her hands， the flavor in mine”（贈(zèng)人玫瑰，手有余香）來(lái)支持參加志愿活動(dòng)的建議，增加了文章的深度和說(shuō)服力。