捕捉原文續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)，讓續(xù)寫(xiě)合情合理

廣東 王 思

【問(wèn)題導(dǎo)讀】

讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)一般提供一段350 詞以內(nèi)的語(yǔ)言材料，要求考生根據(jù)材料內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)，將其發(fā)展成一篇與給定材料有邏輯銜接、情節(jié)和結(jié)構(gòu)完整的短文。然而，考生在進(jìn)行讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)往往存在以下問(wèn)題：

1.閱讀原文時(shí)不知道如何挖掘和捕捉原文中的續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)；

2.續(xù)寫(xiě)的內(nèi)容與原文不能夠合理銜接或者與原文不連貫；

3.續(xù)寫(xiě)的內(nèi)容或角度與原文不一致。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

一篇好的讀后續(xù)通常能夠圍繞主題對(duì)原文中的伏筆（也就是我們所說(shuō)的可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)）進(jìn)行合理照應(yīng)?？忌缒苌钊虢庾x原文，挖掘合理的續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)，并在續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)適時(shí)照應(yīng)，那么他們所續(xù)寫(xiě)的段落在語(yǔ)言、內(nèi)容、邏輯上便更符合原文基調(diào)。我們可以從以下幾個(gè)方面捕捉和挖掘可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)：

1.分析文章標(biāo)題，捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)；

2.品讀原文首段，捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)；

3.提煉原文主題，捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)；

4.關(guān)注特定情節(jié)，捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)；

5.留意細(xì)節(jié)描寫(xiě)，捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)；

6.關(guān)注高頻詞匯，捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)；

7.留意原文結(jié)尾，捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)；

8.解讀續(xù)寫(xiě)部分所給的段首句，捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)。

下面，我們來(lái)看看如何挖掘和捕捉可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)，提高讀后續(xù)寫(xiě)的分?jǐn)?shù)。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Outside the box

The Harvestfest contest was falling on Friday and everyone in school was talking about it.All the students would show up in their self-made costumes (服裝) and a winner would be chosen by the principal.

“Do you have your costume for the Harvestfest contest?” Alice asked.“I'm going as a chocolate bar.My mom and I have been working on it all week.”

“Yeah,I have a costume,” said Jordan Eastman,popping up the two front wheels of his wheelchair as he waited for his dad to pick him up.“But it's boring.”

“Why? What is it?” Alice asked.

“MaxMag,the superhero,but Danny,Tom and Izzy are all going as MaxMag too.”Jordan shook his head.“That's too many to stand a chance of winning the contest.” He waved to his dad,who had just pulled up in front of the school.

Jordan rolled his wheelchair towards his dad,and Alice walked with him to the minivan (小貨車).

“Maybe you should go as something else,” Alice said.

“The contest is on Friday night,” Jordan sighed.“It's too late to change costumes.”

“Jordan,you have to think outside the box.Look around your house and see what you have.There's hidden potential in everyday items.” Alice took a sip of her drink,and told Jordan that her chocolate-bar costume was made from old fabric her mom had lying around and recycled plastics.

On his way home,Jordan was quiet.He kept thinking about Alice's words: Think outside the box.There's hidden potential in everyday items.When he got home,he found his mom dealing with some wooden pieces.She was putting a new desk together.On top of the desk was a huge empty cardboard box the pieces had come in.Mom smiled at Jordan,pointing at the desk,“What do you think?”

注意：續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1:

Jordan'seyesfellontheboxandhesmiled,“It'sperfect...withmywheelchair.”_______

Paragraph 2:

SoonitwasFridaynight,andJordancouldn'twaittoshowhiscostume._____________

一、原文的語(yǔ)篇要素

二、原文的主題

本文講述了坐輪椅的小男孩喬丹在朋友艾麗斯的鼓勵(lì)下，開(kāi)動(dòng)腦筋，跳出思維定式，挖掘日常用品的潛能，更改自己?jiǎn)握{(diào)重復(fù)的服裝，并最終在比賽中贏得認(rèn)可，獲得成長(zhǎng)的故事。本文的主題是“任何物品都有潛能，人亦是如此”。

三、原文的情節(jié)脈絡(luò)發(fā)展

四、人物性格分析

五、捕捉續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)

六、構(gòu)思情節(jié)發(fā)展

●續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段具體情節(jié)構(gòu)思

展開(kāi)語(yǔ)言和動(dòng)作描寫(xiě)細(xì)節(jié)時(shí)，可以嘗試回答以下問(wèn)題并考慮多種可能性：

How did Mom react?

What did Jordan create?

How did Jordan create it?

Did Jordan finish his costume?

根據(jù)以上問(wèn)題，可以確定續(xù)寫(xiě)第一段的內(nèi)容應(yīng)該聚焦在喬丹向媽媽解釋他的創(chuàng)意，媽媽參與并幫助喬丹實(shí)現(xiàn)他的創(chuàng)意。

●續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段具體情節(jié)構(gòu)思

展開(kāi)細(xì)節(jié)時(shí)，可以嘗試回答以下問(wèn)題并考慮多種可能性：

How did Jordan feel?

What happened during the contest?

Who was the winner?

What did Jordan learn from this contest?

根據(jù)以上問(wèn)題，續(xù)寫(xiě)第二段的具體情節(jié)可以設(shè)計(jì)為：?jiǎn)痰ご┲路b出場(chǎng)得到了大家的認(rèn)可和稱贊；丹尼、湯姆和伊茲看到喬丹的裝扮時(shí)的反應(yīng)以及喬丹與艾麗斯的互動(dòng)；校長(zhǎng)宣布最有創(chuàng)意的裝扮，呼應(yīng)開(kāi)頭。最重要的是要寫(xiě)出喬丹在此次經(jīng)歷中學(xué)到了什么，這樣才能夠合理體現(xiàn)人物的成長(zhǎng)、自我發(fā)現(xiàn)以及心態(tài)的積極變化。

參考范文

Paragraph 1:

Jordan'seyesfellontheboxandhesmiled,“It'sperfect...withmywheelchair.”Realizing Mom was confused,he quickly added,“That's a cool desk,Mom.But can I have the big box for the Harvestfest contest?” He then explained excitedly how to turn it into a mobile refrigerator.“Brilliant! You will definitely be the superhero of the party,serving people their favourite drinks,” Mom exclaimed with a broad smile.In the following days,his priority after school was designing and making the new costume,fixing it to his wheelchair and exquisitely making a door.Finally,he even prepared some soft drinks to surprise his friends.

Paragraph 2:

SoonitwasFridaynight,andJordancouldn'twaittoshowhiscostume.When he wheeled himself in as a mobile refrigerator,he heard admiring exclamations,guessing at who it would be.Jordan felt an increasing sense of pride and satisfaction.When he spotted a chocolate bar,he quickly moved towards it,stopped just several inches in front and quickly opened the door.“Jordan,it's you!” Alice cried out.Jordan passed her her favourite drink.“Thank you,Alice.That's an idea outside the box.” That night,although he didn't win the best costume award from the principal,Jordan felt like the real MaxMag: his body and soul were no longer confined to the wheelchair.And he came to realize: there is hidden potential in everyday items,and so it is with every individual.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開(kāi)頭語(yǔ)續(xù)寫(xiě)兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

Today was Community Service Day at school.Maya's class was going to make cards for the seniors living in a nursing home.It was also the first day Maya would be wearing her leg brace to school,which was designed to help her walk more steadily and smoothly.

It was a cold autumn morning.Maya looked down,feeling embarrassed.To make it lovelier,she had delicately decorated the brace with pretty butterfly patterns.Still,she was unsure about others' reaction.All morning at school,kids kept glancing at her brace.To her relief,they didn't say anything.

In the classroom,Maya was drawing little green buds and pretty flowers when her friend Samir came over and sat by her.She felt his eyes fixed on her brace and heard him asking,“What's that for?” Not knowing what to say,Maya pretended she didn't hear him.After a few seconds of awkwardness,she glanced back at him,and found that he looked a little sad.

After lunch,the class set off.The nursing home was on a small hill and all of them walked there happily along the path.Maya found that the brace did make it easier for her to walk up.

Maya and Samir were paired up with a lady who was 83 years old.There at the end of the hall in a wheelchair,with a big smile on her face,sat the lady,wearing a pink coat,with red lipstick and beautiful earrings.She looked bright and full of life.Moving flexibly and fast towards Maya and Samir,she greeted first.“I'm Joan,” she said cheerfully.“Glad to meet you.”

Maya and Samir handed her the cards they made.Joan looked at Samir's card carefully and spoke with admiration,“You've written a poem! That's so artistic!” Samir's face reddened with shyness.Then Joan turned to Maya's picture.“The first flowers of spring!”she cried in delight.“You really have a gift for using color!” she said.Clearly,Joan's praise added great power to Maya.

注意：續(xù)寫(xiě)詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1:

Inasuddenwaveofbravery,Mayaasked,“What'sitlikebeinginawheelchair?”

Paragraph 2:

DeeplyimpressedbyJoan,MayaofferedtositbesideSamironthebusridebackhome.

【評(píng)價(jià)導(dǎo)思】

1.我是否挖掘和捕捉到了原文的可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)？

2.續(xù)寫(xiě)這篇文章的時(shí)候，我是否對(duì)原文的可續(xù)寫(xiě)點(diǎn)進(jìn)行了照應(yīng)？

3.我在續(xù)寫(xiě)時(shí)用了什么方法來(lái)潤(rùn)色文章？