跟著名著學(xué)續(xù)寫之家庭教育

廣東 劉艷香

家庭教育包括愛的教育、尊重教育、誠信教育等。而一個(gè)家庭首先要有愛，懂得愛的父母才能培養(yǎng)出友愛、善良、陽光、勇敢的孩子，有愛的孩子才懂得感恩。當(dāng)家庭面臨困境，這些品質(zhì)會(huì)成為家庭最強(qiáng)大的力量，幫助親人熬過艱難時(shí)期，迎來家庭希望的曙光。本期跟著名著學(xué)續(xù)寫之家庭教育專題將以《鐵路少年》里面的主角三姐弟為例，闡釋家庭教育的三部曲：愛的教育，愛的傳遞，愛的回報(bào)。

主題微語境

《鐵路少年》是英國女作家伊迪絲·內(nèi)斯比特的著作。在這個(gè)故事中，三姐弟經(jīng)歷父親蒙冤被捕，家道中落，隨母親從城市搬到鐵路附近的鄉(xiāng)下居住。得益于父母潛移默化的愛的教育，愛的種子早已根植于三姐弟心中。他們善良、勇敢，既能早早理解母親養(yǎng)育他們的艱辛和因父親不在身邊所飽受的心理痛苦，也能在身處困境時(shí)傳遞愛的光芒：機(jī)智地避免了一場(chǎng)可怕的鐵路事故，眾籌禮物幫珀克斯過生日，還救助了一名在隧道中摔傷的少年……他們友愛、高尚的行為最終得到了回報(bào)：在老先生的幫助下，爸爸無罪釋放。

一、親人愛的教育

1.Mother was almost always at home, ready to play with the children, or to read to them.媽媽幾乎一直待在家里，陪孩子們玩，或者讀故事給他們聽。

2.These three lucky children had everything that they needed, pretty clothes, a warm house and lots of toys.They also had a wonderful father who was never angry,and always ready to play a game.這三個(gè)幸運(yùn)的孩子擁有他們想要的一切——漂亮的衣服，溫暖的家，還有好多好多的玩具。他們還有一個(gè)好爸爸，他從不發(fā)脾氣，而且經(jīng)常陪孩子們玩游戲。

3....and Father looked at it very carefully.Mother and the children waited.

“Is there any hope?”said Peter.

“Of course there's hope!”said Father, smiling.“I'll mend it on Saturday, and you can all help me.”

爸爸仔細(xì)檢查了那個(gè)火車頭，媽媽和孩子們?cè)谂赃叺戎?/p>

“沒有希望修好嗎？”彼得問。

“當(dāng)然有希望！”爸爸微笑著說，“星期六我給你修好，你們都可以來幫我?！?/p>

4.Her face was very white,but she tried to smile.她雖然仍然是面色蒼白，但還是努力露出一絲微笑。

5.And Mother was very angry indeed.“Now listen,it's true that we're poor,”she told them,“but you must not tell everyone.And you must never,never ask a stranger to give you things.”媽媽的確很生氣?！艾F(xiàn)在你們聽著，我們確實(shí)很窮，”她告訴孩子們，“但是你們不能跟任何人說。永遠(yuǎn)不能，永遠(yuǎn)不能向陌生人索要東西?！?/p>

6....Soon, Mother was crying with them.“I'll write a letter to the old gentleman and thank him,”she said.“You can give it to the Station Master to give him.Now we won't say any more about it.”……很快，媽媽也和他們一起哭了起來?！拔視?huì)給那位老先生寫封信并向他表示感謝的，”她說，“你們可以請(qǐng)站長(zhǎng)把信轉(zhuǎn)交給他?，F(xiàn)在什么都別再說了?！?/p>

表1 “親人愛的教育”寫作分析

（續(xù)表）

二、愛的傳遞

△關(guān)懷父母，愛護(hù)手足

1.Bobbie saw her face when she turned away.“Oh, Mother,”she thought.“How brave you are!How I love you!”當(dāng)媽媽把臉轉(zhuǎn)開時(shí)，博比看清了她的臉。“呵，媽媽，”她心想，“你是多么勇敢呀！我太愛你了！”

2.“Cold meat and apple pie for breakfast!”laughed Peter.“How funny!”

But their supper made a wonderful breakfast.

All day,they helped Mother to unpack and arrange everything in the rooms.

“早餐吃冷肉和蘋果派！”彼得大笑，“太滑稽了！”

但是，昨天的晚飯現(xiàn)在成了一頓不錯(cuò)的早餐。

整整一天，孩子們都在幫媽媽打開箱子，歸置房間的東西。

3.But as time passed, their questions seemed to make Mother unhappy, so they stopped asking them.But they never forgot him.但是隨著時(shí)間的流逝，他們發(fā)現(xiàn)這些問題好像讓媽媽很傷感，所以他們也就不再問這一類問題了，但是他們從來沒有忘記他。

4.Bobbie thought about Father often.She knew her mother was unhappy, and she worried a lot about that.博比常常思念爸爸。她知道媽媽心里不高興。她一直在為此擔(dān)心。

5.Bobbie and Phyllis stepped out of the darkness.

“We did it, too,”Bobbie told the Station Master.“We helped carry the coal away,and we knew where Peter was getting it.”

“No,you didn't,”said Peter angrily.“It was my idea.”

“We did know,”said Bobbie.“We pretended we didn't,but we did.”

博比和菲利斯從黑暗中走了出來。

“我們也參加了，”博比告訴站長(zhǎng)，“我們幫忙把煤運(yùn)走，而且我們也知道彼得是在哪里弄到的煤。”

“不，不關(guān)你們的事，”彼得生氣地說，“這是我的主意?！?/p>

“我們的確知道（你是從哪兒弄到的煤），”博比說，“我們假裝不知道，其實(shí)我們都知道?！?/p>

表2 “關(guān)懷父母，愛護(hù)手足”寫作分析

△關(guān)心社會(huì)，挽救火車

1.They watched as the trees moved on and on, grass and stones moving with them.Then a big rock began to move as well,and suddenly half the hillside was moving.A second or two later, everything came crashing down in a big heap on the railway line below.他們看著那些樹動(dòng)呀，動(dòng)呀，青草和石頭也隨著它們一起移動(dòng)。緊跟著，有一塊大巖石也開始動(dòng)了，突然間半邊山都動(dòng)了起來。一兩秒之后，所有這些東西一下子都坍塌到下面的鐵路上，堆成了一大堆。

2.“It's right across the line!”said Phyllis,feeling a little frightened now.“正好都堆在鐵路上！”菲利斯說，這會(huì)兒她感到有點(diǎn)兒害怕了。

3.Next, they pushed two of the flags on the heaps of stones between the lines.Then Bobbie and Phyllis each took one,and Peter took the other two.然后，他們把兩面旗子插在鐵路中間的石頭堆上。接下來，博比和菲利斯每人拿一面旗子，彼得拿起另外兩面。

4.“Get back,Bobbie,”shouted Peter.

But Bobbie did not move from the line.She waved and waved her flags, shouting“Stop,stop!”as the big black engine came towards her.

“回來，博比！”彼得大喊。

但是博比并沒有從鐵軌上走開。她拼命地?fù)]舞手中的小旗子，還一邊大喊“停下，停下來！”此時(shí)巨大的黑色的火車頭正向她開過來。

表3 “關(guān)心社會(huì)，挽救火車”寫作分析

△關(guān)照他人，救助傷者

1.The train came towards them,and the noise got louder and louder.Then it was coming past, and they could feel the hot air and smell the smoke.They pushed themselves flat against the tunnel wall.火車向他們駛來，聲音越來越大。然后，火車便呼嘯而過，他們能感受到熱浪，能聞到煙氣。孩子們緊貼在隧道的墻上。

2.Peter took the end of a candle from his pocket,and his hand was shaking when he hit with a match.“C-Come on,”he said.And the three went deeper into the darkness of the tunnel.彼得從口袋里掏出一小截蠟燭，在他用火柴點(diǎn)蠟燭的時(shí)候，手一直在顫抖?！案蟻??！彼f。于是，他們?nèi)齻€(gè)一起往黑暗隧道的更深處走去。

3.Bobbie watched their figures disappear, and then put her little candle beside the boy's foot.She used Peter's knife to cut off the boot, and then she looked at the broken leg.“It needs something soft under it,”she thought, and then remembered her petticoat.She took it off and carefully put it under the boy's leg.博比目送他們的身影消失在黑暗中，然后她把手中的小蠟燭放在男孩兒的腳邊。她用彼得的那把刀割開男孩兒的靴子，看了看那條摔折的腿?！斑@條腿需要用軟一點(diǎn)的東西墊一墊?！彼X子里閃過這樣的念頭，她又想到了自己的襯裙。她脫掉襯裙，把它小心地墊到男孩兒的腿下。

表4 “關(guān)照他人，救助傷者”寫作分析

三、愛的回報(bào)：環(huán)境的變好、父親的回歸

1.Life at the white house was never quite the same again.Jim's leg got better and better, and he told them stories about his school.And now Mother was not writing stories every day,so she was able to teach the children their lesson.白色小屋子里的生活發(fā)生了巨大的變化。吉姆的腿恢復(fù)得越來越好，他經(jīng)常給他們講發(fā)生在自己學(xué)校的故事?，F(xiàn)在媽媽也不必每天寫故事了，因此她就有時(shí)間教孩子們一些功課。

2.But now...hands and handkerchiefs and newspapers waved from every window of the train,and smiling faces looked up at the children on the fence.但是現(xiàn)在……列車的每一個(gè)窗口都揮著手和手絹或者報(bào)紙，一張張笑臉注視著籬笆墻上的孩子們。

3.But the trees and the flowers all seemed to be waiting for something to happen.但是，（院子里的）樹木和鮮花好像也在期待著什么事情的發(fā)生。

4.“Oh! My daddy, my daddy!”cried Bobbie.That scream went like a knife into the heart of everyone on the train.“哦！我的爸爸，我的爸爸！”博比叫著。這叫聲像一把尖刀一樣，直刺進(jìn)火車上每個(gè)人的心間。

5.Bobbie went into the house,trying to find the right words to tell Mother that Father had come home.Father was walking in the garden—waiting.He was looking at the flowers,but he kept turning towards the house.博比進(jìn)了家，她絞盡腦汁，想用最合適的話告訴媽媽，爸爸已經(jīng)回來了。爸爸此刻就在花園里轉(zhuǎn)悠著呢——他也在等待著。雖然他的眼睛瞧著院子里的鮮花，可他卻不住地回轉(zhuǎn)身朝房子那邊觀望。

表5 “愛的回報(bào)”寫作分析

句式微練習(xí)

一、活用簡(jiǎn)單句和并列句

簡(jiǎn)單的句式具有不斷擴(kuò)展出長(zhǎng)難句的生命力，在描繪周圍環(huán)境或現(xiàn)場(chǎng)情況的同時(shí)可以補(bǔ)充人物的情緒、心理描寫，生動(dòng)形象地描寫出故事的場(chǎng)景、畫面。

Mother, Peter, and Phyllis were standing near the table, and there were twelve lighted candles on it,one for each of Bobbie's years.媽媽、彼得和菲利斯正站在桌子旁，桌子上點(diǎn)著12支蠟燭，每一支代表著一歲。(there be結(jié)構(gòu)、并列句、同位語）

The next moment, the railway lines began to shake and a train came screaming out of the tunnel.轉(zhuǎn)眼間，他們看見鐵軌開始顫動(dòng)，一列火車從隧道中呼嘯而出。(并列句、現(xiàn)在分詞作伴隨狀語）

即學(xué)即練

1.（2022·福建福州模擬預(yù)測(cè)）My father nodded with a smile on his face____________________（母親熱情地?fù)肀е艺f）“You are my pride,dear.”

2.(2021·新高考Ⅰ卷)But Jeff's hand touched the hot burner__________________(他發(fā)出了痛苦的叫聲).

二、帶賓語補(bǔ)足語句式

描述多個(gè)動(dòng)作或場(chǎng)景時(shí)，表示其中一個(gè)動(dòng)作的動(dòng)詞作謂語，表示其他動(dòng)作的動(dòng)詞作賓語補(bǔ)足語或伴隨狀語，使描述更準(zhǔn)確生動(dòng)。

And there, down the hill from their new house, is the railway, with its shining lines leading all the way back to London.那兒，在他們新家的山下，有一條鐵路，這條閃亮的鐵路一直通向倫敦。(倒裝句、with的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)）

There was a pretty handkerchief with flowers on it.這兒有一塊有花形圖案的漂亮手絹。(there be結(jié)構(gòu)、with的復(fù)合結(jié)構(gòu)）

It sounded like small animals running up and down.聽上去像是小動(dòng)物躥上躥下的聲音。（現(xiàn)在分詞作賓補(bǔ)）

即學(xué)即練

1.（江蘇南京一中2023屆一模）When I went home,a card was found in my notebook____________________(上面寫有一句話“一切皆可能”).

2.（粵湘名校聯(lián)盟2023屆聯(lián)考）____________________(帶著墻上照片勾起的美好回憶),Cody said,“I'll do it.”

三、倒裝句式+定語從句

倒裝句式能豐富句子，讓表達(dá)更地道，后接定語從句讓敘述更加具體詳盡。

On the sheet were thick black letters that read: LOOK OUT AT THE STATION.白布上用又粗又黑的字體寫著：到車站時(shí)請(qǐng)往窗外看看。

But then came the awful night when the Station Master was waiting for Peter in the station yard.但是，那個(gè)倒霉的夜晚終于到來了，車站站長(zhǎng)在車站的院中等著彼得。

即學(xué)即練

1.On one side of the big station yard ____________________(有一大堆煤), which the station trains used for their engine.

2.（2022 春·安徽阜陽高一期末考）He pulled his hand out of the bag and in it was a Webster Slaughter's signed photo, ____________________(上面寫有一些字：獻(xiàn)給我最偉大的粉絲).

四、狀語（非謂語短語、形容詞短語）+主句

句子與短語靈活組合，增加句式的復(fù)雜性，狀語常常用于描述周圍環(huán)境或者描繪人物的動(dòng)作、情緒、心理，可放在句首或句末，增強(qiáng)感染力，使描述更生動(dòng)形象。

“You've often wanted something to happen,”said Mother, lighting the candle again.“你們一直盼望著有什么事情發(fā)生，”媽媽一邊說著，一邊重新點(diǎn)著了蠟燭。

即學(xué)即練

1.（2022 秋·浙江省龍游中學(xué)高二校聯(lián)考）____________________(聽到她真誠的感謝),Ben flushed,lowered his head and muttered a thank you.

2.(2022·福建龍巖一模) Finally, Dad got three of them into the boat where Lizzy finally closed her eyes, ____________________(精疲力竭，松了一口氣)。

五、無靈主語句式

把情緒等無生命的事物作主語，這既可變換句式，也能突出人物的心理、情感，從多種視角進(jìn)行描寫，讓表達(dá)更有力量感。

That scream went like a knife into the heart of everyone on the train.這叫聲像一把尖刀一樣，直刺進(jìn)火車上每個(gè)人的心間。

A busy week followed,packing everything up in boxes.接下來的一個(gè)星期顯得非常忙碌，他們把所有的東西都打包裝箱。

即學(xué)即練

1.（2020.1·浙江卷）____________________（我的心狂跳）, not knowing what to do.

2.After a while, ____________________（他們看到黑暗中有一個(gè)模模糊糊的輪廓）.

情境微仿寫

（改編自2022 年山東淄博一模讀后續(xù)寫）I started to plot.Then, 1.____________________（我想到了一個(gè)好主意：用一個(gè)盒子把我送到我姐姐家）.I knew if I pulled this off,my grand arrival would be the best present I could ever give my sister.I frantically started googling mail companies.Fortunately, I came across a mail company named Couriers Please and 2.____________________(令我驚喜的是，他們經(jīng)理答應(yīng)幫助我實(shí)現(xiàn)夢(mèng)想).The next day, they found a box big enough for me to hide in.The big clock strikes again!

3.____________________（我躲在大箱子里，聽到郵差按我姐姐家的門鈴）.They announced they had a delivery for her.4.____________________（當(dāng)盒子被打開時(shí)，她看到我坐在里面微笑著看著她）, my sister was at a complete loss for words and burst into tears.I would never forget the look on her face.It was such a gift to be able to attend my sister's graduation to show her my love, and 5.____________________（這是我們兩個(gè)人將永遠(yuǎn)珍惜的回憶）.

語篇微演練

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。注意續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

主題語境：信念如磐，成功脫險(xiǎn)

It's a beautiful sunny day.The Bonds boarded their boat for a carefree day trip to Dove Island for some fishing as a family custom.Thomas Bond,a 30-year-old construction worker,loved the sport,especially catching bass (鱸魚)and had impressed on his oldest daughter, Lizzy, a lover of the outdoors, teaching her how to bait (下誘餌) a hook and cast a line and brave the waves.

The family spent the day fishing in the vast ocean,and then left the island in the early evening.Upon setting off from the shore, they found thick fog rolling in.Lizzy fell into a light sleep beside her five-year-old sister,Molly,at a table on the boat's lower deck(甲板).Their father's sharp orders woke her up,“Get out of the boat.The boat's sinking!”Lizzy pushed her sister into the cold dark water.Both girls wore life jackets.The adults did not.The girls were followed by their mother,Petra Bond,who was expecting a baby at that time.Within seconds,the boat was damaged and was left just the tip of its bow in the air.

Looking into the faces of her father, her mother, and her sister, Lizzy wasn't frightened.After some time, her father told them he would swim for help.“I'll be back,”he said before disappearing into the darkness.

“Dad is like the superhero to me.I believe he will get help to rescue us,”Lizzy said to herself.After some time,her mother became quiet and stopped swimming.Lizzy wrapped a rope around her mother's chest and tied her to the boat so she wouldn't float away.Then her sister fell quiet too and she stayed beside her.

To keep herself awake, Lizzy daydreamed about what they would do after they were rescued.They would stay in a hotel,order room service,and lie comfortably under the blankets in bed,cozy and warm.

Paragraph 1:

After several hours,Lizzy heard her name called in the distance.____________________

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Paragraph 2:

On the coast,an ambulance was waiting for them.______________________________

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