Charlie’s Raven (Excerpt III)

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Charlie carried Blue Sky to a small log cabin that stood a weasel leap from the main house. More than a hundred years ago the cabin had been part of the individual tourist motels in Yellowstone National Park. When the park modernized, the superintendent offered the old-fashioned cabins to whomever would haul them away. Granddad and Charlie’s father, Chris, had taken three.One was set behind Granddad’s big house as a guest house. The other two had been expanded into a home for Chris and his family on the other side of the irrigation ditch. Chris and Nancy Carlisle, and Charlie’s little brother,Andy, had lived there until two years ago. Growing up next door to Granddad had been a happy time for Charlie. He often accompanied him on treks to the wilderness to study plants and wildlife.He had scrambled over rocks to track the little pikas, or mountain rabbits, and had climbed trees with him to help put bands on hawks and owls.

2 Then Charlie graduated from the local grammar school in Morton just down the road. Morton had no middle or upper schools, and so Chris and Nan-cy Carlisle rented out their cabin and moved to Jackson. In the thriving town Charlie attended the valley’s only mid-dle and upper schools, and Andy went to the Jackson elementary school. This worked out well for Charlie’s dad. He could walk to the office of Outdoor Ad-venture Trips, Inc., his tourist service, which took people down rivers and into the mountains. The business had been growing rapidly in recent years.

查理抱著藍(lán)天來到小木屋。這個(gè)小木屋離牧場(chǎng)的主屋只有黃鼠狼跳一下就能到的距離。一百多年前，這個(gè)小木屋曾經(jīng)是黃石國家公園個(gè)人游客汽車旅館的一部分。公園現(xiàn)代化改造的時(shí)候，管理者提出，無論是誰，只要能把過時(shí)的木屋拖走就好。爺爺和查理的爸爸克里斯拖走了三個(gè)小木屋。一個(gè)放在爺爺大房子的后面當(dāng)作客房。另外兩個(gè)擴(kuò)展為克里斯和他家人的房子，放在灌溉渠的另一邊?？死锼购湍舷！たㄈR爾以及查理的小弟弟安迪在那里住，兩年前才離開。住在爺爺?shù)母舯诼L大，對(duì)查理而言非常幸福。查理經(jīng)常跟著爺爺?shù)揭巴膺h(yuǎn)足，去研究植物和野生動(dòng)物。他曾經(jīng)手腳并用爬過巖石去追蹤鼠兔，或稱小山兔，也爬上樹去幫著爺爺給老鷹和貓頭鷹套上腳環(huán)。

2后來查理從路邊莫頓村的當(dāng)?shù)卣Z法學(xué)校畢業(yè)了。莫頓沒有中學(xué)，于是克里斯和南希·卡萊爾出租了他們的小木屋，搬去了杰克遜鎮(zhèn)。在這個(gè)繁榮的小鎮(zhèn)上，查理上了山谷中唯一的中學(xué)，安迪去了杰克遜小學(xué)。這樣的安排對(duì)查理的爸爸而言很棒。他可以走著上班，他經(jīng)營的戶外冒險(xiǎn)旅行有限公司是旅游服務(wù)公司，負(fù)責(zé)帶游客沿河而下，進(jìn)入山區(qū)。最近幾年生意發(fā)展得很快。

3Charlie had been devastated by the move, and Granddad knew it. After his heart attack, he and Grandma Sally fixed up the little Yellowstone guest cabin behind the ranch house and put in a new cot, bedside table, bureau and desk, a chair and oil lamps. “The cabin is yours for the summer and whenever you want to come,” Granddad told Charlie when he and his mother came to visit one late-spring day after school.

4Charlie moved into the cabin as fast as a chipmunk dives into a woodpile when a hawk is overhead. He spread furs on the floor, hung pictures of falcons and mountain lions on the wall,and put comforters on the cot. Nights were cold in the mountain valley even in summer.

5The cabin became Charlie’s kingdom. It wasn’t large, about twelve feet by twelve feet, and it was dark. The small windows were designed to keep out the grizzly bears of Yellowstone National Park. Its very darkness made the cabin as cozy as a wolf’s den.

3查理的心情因?yàn)榘峒以阃噶?，爺爺知道這一點(diǎn)。爺爺心臟病發(fā)作以后，就跟奶奶薩莉一起修了修那個(gè)從黃石公園拖來放在牧場(chǎng)主屋后面的小木屋客房，往里面放了新的折疊床、床頭柜、寫字臺(tái)和書桌、一把椅子和幾個(gè)油燈?！靶∧疚菹奶旖o你用。無論什么時(shí)候只要你想來都可以。”春末的一天，查理放學(xué)之后跟媽媽一起來看爺爺，爺爺告訴查理。

4查理飛快地搬進(jìn)了小木屋，其動(dòng)作之迅捷，就像是花栗鼠看到頭頂上有老鷹立馬鉆進(jìn)木柴堆。查理在地上鋪上毛皮，墻上掛了游隼和美洲獅的圖片，折疊床上放了蓋被。即便是夏天，山谷中晚上也很冷。

5小木屋成了查理的王國。木屋不大，十二英尺長十二英尺寬，光線暗淡。窗戶設(shè)計(jì)得很小，是為了防范黃石國家公園里的灰熊。恰恰是暗淡的光線使得小屋像狼窩一樣舒適。

6When he had moved in, Charlie had been worried about Granddad. But now he knew the old naturalist would be all right. He had a raven to cure him. He put the young bird in a bowl-shaped Shawnee Indian basket on the floor and sat down beside him. When the little raven’s eyes adjusted to the dim light,he fixed them on Charlie’s blue eyes and stared unblinking for almost six minutes. Charlie sensed magic passing between them. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt great pleasure. He wrote, “Looking at me”goes in the Good list.

6查理剛剛搬進(jìn)來的時(shí)候還擔(dān)心爺爺?shù)慕】怠５F(xiàn)在他知道這位老博物學(xué)家不會(huì)有問題了。爺爺有一只渡鴉來給他治病。查理把幼鳥放在地板上一只碗形的肖尼印第安人籃子里，然后坐在鳥兒旁邊。當(dāng)小渡鴉的眼睛適應(yīng)了暗淡的光線，就目不轉(zhuǎn)睛盯著查理的藍(lán)眼睛看，大概有六分鐘。查理感覺他們之間仿佛有一種魔力。查理不能確定為什么，但覺得極為快樂。查理寫下記錄：

“盯著我看”算在優(yōu)點(diǎn)清單里。

【背景知識(shí)】跟弟弟安迪性格不同，查理在博物學(xué)家爺爺?shù)挠绊懴?，愛上了大自然。他隨著家人搬到了鎮(zhèn)子里上學(xué)，但仍然心系山林，渴望著繼續(xù)親近大自然。爺爺看出了查理的心事，就騰出了小木屋讓查理居住。查理的大自然探索之旅得以繼續(xù)。

【第一段】此處a weasel leap（幾米遠(yuǎn)）用來表示距離，很獨(dú)特。譯者原本想只翻譯意義“幾米遠(yuǎn)”，后來覺得保留原文的意象也不錯(cuò)。動(dòng)詞modernize 的譯文為“現(xiàn)代化改造”，添加了范疇詞“改造”，使得語義更明晰。句子Growing up next door to Granddad had been a happy time for Charlie 有幾種譯法，可以調(diào)換語序?yàn)椤皩?duì)查理而言，住在爺爺隔壁慢慢長大是幸福時(shí)光”。不過，如此一來，原文的信息起點(diǎn)“慢慢長大”就過于后置了。譯文嘗試在盡量保持原文信息結(jié)構(gòu)的情況下讓中文通順：住在爺爺?shù)母舯诼L大，對(duì)查理而言非常幸福。原文中的代詞在譯文中有多處被替換為名詞，因?yàn)橹形睦锎~多了會(huì)指代不清。

【第二段】原文中的middle or upper schools（中學(xué)或綜合學(xué)校高級(jí)班），如果照原文直譯，在中文里顯得信息多余，于是譯文只保留了“中學(xué)”。句子This worked out well for Charlie’s dad 可以翻譯為“對(duì)查理的爸爸而言，這一切都很好”。但是原文中的this 承接上文，承上啟下。為了維持句子之間的連貫，譯文是“這樣的安排對(duì)查理的爸爸而言很棒”，呼應(yīng)了上面的句子。

【第三段】第一句原文的主語是查理（查理被這一次搬家毀了），譯文增譯為“查理的心情因?yàn)榘峒以阃噶恕保驗(yàn)樽g者判斷“查理被毀”過于夸張，于是細(xì)化為“心情糟透”。

【第四段】第一句原文用明喻的形式表達(dá)查理飛快地搬家，顯示他心情急迫。譯文保留了原文的比喻，重復(fù)了“飛快地”“動(dòng)作之迅捷”，以便傳遞原文的強(qiáng)調(diào)效果。

【第五段】第一句中的kingdom 是隱喻“王國”，譯文照搬過來。后面的dark 和darkness 分別譯為“光線暗淡”和“暗淡的光線”，都添加了“光線”，讓意思更明確。

【第六段】原文第一句中的worried about Granddad（擔(dān)心爺爺），譯文明確為“擔(dān)心爺爺?shù)慕】怠?。原文第二句是正面說法would be all right（會(huì)一切正常），譯文使用了反譯法“不會(huì)有問題了”。這一段原文里使用了很多代詞，譯文中多處替換為名詞，否則容易混淆。

【小結(jié)】在該選段的譯文中，譯者嘗試在幾個(gè)地方保留原文的信息結(jié)構(gòu)，讓上下文之間更加連貫，同時(shí)盡量讓中文通順。此外，在必要的地方譯者使用了增譯方法，讓句子意義更清楚。鑒于中英文之間代詞的使用頻率不同，譯文里將原文的多個(gè)代詞替換為名詞。