匠心獨(dú)運(yùn)，寫好文章結(jié)尾

廣東 王 思

【問題導(dǎo)讀】

一篇文章通常由開頭、主體和結(jié)尾三個(gè)部分組成，古人常把這三個(gè)部分比喻成“鳳頭”“豬肚”和“豹尾”。意思是說，文章的開頭要像鳳凰的頭一樣美麗、精彩，主體內(nèi)容要像豬的肚子那樣充實(shí)、飽滿，而結(jié)尾要像豹子的尾巴那樣剛健、有力。讀好的結(jié)尾猶如咀嚼干果，品嘗香茗，令人回味再三?？梢姡实奈恼陆Y(jié)尾和炫目的開頭一樣重要。讀后續(xù)寫的結(jié)尾也是閱卷老師的閱讀體驗(yàn)點(diǎn)和打分點(diǎn)，精彩的結(jié)尾能讓閱卷老師打出更高的分?jǐn)?shù)。

【名師導(dǎo)學(xué)】

1. 高考讀后續(xù)寫是通過讓學(xué)生閱讀一篇未完結(jié)的故事，然后根據(jù)所給出的情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。 續(xù)寫部分分成兩段，每段的開頭已經(jīng)給出。

2. 從高考讀后續(xù)寫的評(píng)分標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來看，讀后續(xù)寫注重續(xù)寫短文與原文的銜接程度，包括語篇主旨、文章內(nèi)容和語言風(fēng)格的銜接。

3. 好的結(jié)尾如“畫龍點(diǎn)睛”，而不是“畫蛇添足”。 在續(xù)寫故事的時(shí)候，如果我們的結(jié)尾能夠呼應(yīng)前文，升華主題，引發(fā)思考，讓人意猶未盡，那這就是一個(gè)好的文章結(jié)尾。

【案例導(dǎo)引】

閱讀下面短文，根據(jù)所給情節(jié)進(jìn)行續(xù)寫，使之構(gòu)成一個(gè)完整的故事。

Coffee on the wall

Big snowflakes were pouring down from the sky. I sat with my friend in a wellknown coffee shop in a neighboring town of Venice, Italy, a city of lights and water.

As we enjoyed our coffee, a well-dressed man entered, took off his hat and sat at an empty table beside us. He then called the waiter and placed his order saying, “Two cups of coffee, please. One of them there on the wall.”

Upon hearing this order, both of us were amazed, so we kept on observing with interest. It seemed that the waiter wasn't surprised at all. He took the order and left. Ten minutes later, the waiter came back with only one cup of coffee. The man thanked the waiter and began to enjoy the coffee. However, when he left, he paid for two.

After the man left, the waiter returned to collect the cup and put a piece of paper on the wall saying “A cup of coffee”. Seeing this, my friend and I looked at each other with confusion.

Just as we were guessing what the piece of paper on the wall meant, two elegant ladies entered. They sat down at the same table and ordered three cups of coffee: two on the table and one on the wall. When the two ladies left, they paid for three cups of coffee.This time also, the waiter did the same; he put a piece of paper on the wall saying “A cup of coffee”.

It was something unique and confusing for us. Out of curiosity, we decided to stay in the shop and kept on watching. We glanced at the wall and found that there were three pieces of paper on the wall at that time.

About 30 minutes later, the door was opened and an old man entered. The old man was poorly dressed, which was quite unfit for a coffee shop. To our surprise, the waiter greeted the man respectfully and led him to the table near us.

Paragraph 1:

As the old man seated himself,he looked at the wall and said, “One cup of coffee from the wall.”

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Paragraph 2:

Now there were only two pieces of paper left on the wall, but we came to understand everything.

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一、故事梳理

本文講述的是“我”和朋友在一間咖啡店的所見所聞。 當(dāng)?shù)鼐用襁M(jìn)店喝咖啡的時(shí)候會(huì)多點(diǎn)一杯咖啡“貼在墻上”，而那些本來喝不起咖啡的人可以進(jìn)來免費(fèi)喝一杯“貼在墻上”的咖啡。 請(qǐng)客的人和享用的人并不知道對(duì)方是誰，服務(wù)員和這堵墻就是雙方之間的橋梁。 當(dāng)?shù)鼐用駥?duì)他人的這份心意造就了這個(gè)有愛的和諧世界!

點(diǎn)題 My friend and I witnessed how people treated the needy to “coffee on the wall”.指向情節(jié)主題?Time: In winter?Place: In a coffee shop?Characters: my friend, one man, the waiter, two ladies, an old man, I?Setting: My friend and I were enjoying our coffee in a coffee shop.?Beginning: A man ordered two cups of coffee, one on the wall.?Development: The waiter put a piece of paper on the wall saying “A cup of coffee”.?Climax: Two ladies ordered three cups of coffee, two on the table and one on the wall.?Resolution: An old man ordered one cup of coffee from the wall.?Evaluation: Sometimes, a small act of kindness may be powerful enough to make a huge difference to others.Kindness

二、常用招式

妙招1：自然式結(jié)尾

自然式結(jié)尾是指順著文章的自然發(fā)展趨勢(shì)結(jié)束全文，使文章結(jié)構(gòu)完整，故事情節(jié)完整。 這樣的結(jié)尾沒有套話，沒有空話，給人自然、明快的感覺。

文章第一段“I sat with my friend in a well-known coffee shop in a neighboring town of Venice, Italy, a city of lights and water.”交代了故事發(fā)生的背景：“我”和朋友當(dāng)時(shí)正在咖啡店里喝咖啡。 當(dāng)“我們”聽到別人點(diǎn)咖啡的方式（除了點(diǎn)自己喝的，還多點(diǎn)了一杯“貼在墻上”），覺得很奇特，就決定留下來看個(gè)究竟。 最后，當(dāng)一位衣衫襤褸的老人進(jìn)來點(diǎn)了一杯“貼在墻上”的咖啡之后，一切就豁然開朗了。 謎題解開了，“我”和朋友自然也該離開了。 所以這里我們可以用“Since everything was clear, we finished our coffee, paid the bill and left with satisfaction.”自然地結(jié)束全文。

妙招2：首尾呼應(yīng)式結(jié)尾

首尾呼應(yīng)式結(jié)尾是指續(xù)寫的文章結(jié)尾與原文開頭相呼應(yīng)。 前有伏筆，后有照應(yīng)，這種結(jié)尾方式能使文章結(jié)構(gòu)更加緊密、嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)，內(nèi)容更加深刻、完整，且更能與讀者產(chǎn)生共鳴。

故事開始時(shí)，天空飄著鵝毛大雪，這說明天氣相當(dāng)惡劣，非常寒冷。 但是，當(dāng)“我”和朋友目睹了當(dāng)?shù)鼐用衲涿?zèng)送咖啡的暖心舉動(dòng)后，“我們”感受到的不再是漫天飛雪的寒冷，而是一種由內(nèi)而外的溫暖。 用“Though it was still snowing heavily, all we could feel now was the surpassing warmth.”來結(jié)尾，剛好可以與文章第一句“Big snowflakes were pouring down from the sky.”相呼應(yīng)。

妙招3：點(diǎn)題式結(jié)尾

點(diǎn)題式結(jié)尾是指在續(xù)寫文章結(jié)尾時(shí)用一兩句話來總結(jié)文章主旨，升華主題，起到畫龍點(diǎn)睛的作用。

故事發(fā)展到后面，“我們”終于明白，咖啡既不是社會(huì)基本需要，也不是生活必需品，但在享受任何美好的東西時(shí)，也許“我們”都應(yīng)該想到，有些人也喜歡這樣的東西，但卻無力支付。當(dāng)?shù)鼐用駥?duì)他人的這份尊敬和關(guān)愛不僅讓“我們”感動(dòng)得熱淚盈眶，還感染著“我們”付諸行動(dòng)。 所以用點(diǎn)題式結(jié)尾時(shí)，我們可以這樣寫，“The great respect and love for the needy shown by the inhabitants of this town made our eyes well up with tears. We ordered one more coffee, saying ‘a(chǎn) cup of coffee on the wall’, paid for it and left.”。 最后，“我們”也點(diǎn)了一杯咖啡“貼在墻上”，這樣的結(jié)尾緊扣文章標(biāo)題Coffee on the wall，升華了文章主題。

妙招4：景物（環(huán)境）描寫式結(jié)尾

景物（環(huán)境）描寫式結(jié)尾，是指在讀后續(xù)寫中以景作結(jié)，寓情于景，達(dá)到不言情而情無限，言有盡而意無窮的效果。 我們?cè)谝跃敖Y(jié)情時(shí)要注意，環(huán)境描寫要與人物的心情相照應(yīng)，融情于景。

當(dāng)?shù)鼐用褓?zèng)送咖啡的方式奇特而溫暖人心，所以我們?cè)谝跃敖Y(jié)情時(shí)可以對(duì)故事的發(fā)生地點(diǎn)（咖啡店）進(jìn)行環(huán)境描寫。 我們可以這樣寫，“Overhead, the lamps were burning softly, lighting up the most beautiful wall in the world and warming all the hearts in the coffee shop.”。 咖啡店柔和的燈光既照亮了那堵墻，又溫暖了人心。 這樣的環(huán)境描寫既點(diǎn)了題，又升華了主題。

妙招5：哲理式結(jié)尾

哲理式結(jié)尾是對(duì)文章中心思想的總結(jié)，它包含作者想要表達(dá)的寓意和想與讀者分享的感悟。 這種結(jié)尾方式往往是通過以小見大、從物到人、由事及理、從點(diǎn)到面、由一及眾等方式升華文章主題。 我們?cè)诶m(xù)寫結(jié)尾的時(shí)候，通?？梢酝ㄟ^表達(dá)人生感悟、生活真諦、生活哲理、人生觀或價(jià)值觀來完成情感升華。

通過閱讀原文和所給出的段首句，我們知道，當(dāng)?shù)鼐用裨邳c(diǎn)咖啡的時(shí)候會(huì)順便點(diǎn)一杯“貼在墻上”，讓他人也能夠在寒冷的冬天享受到暖暖的咖啡。 這種小小的善舉，給他人帶來的卻是寒冬里的溫暖，給旁觀者傳遞的是滿滿的正能量。如果每個(gè)人都能有這樣的小善舉，那這個(gè)世界必將變成一個(gè)溫暖和諧的世界。 所以，結(jié)尾的時(shí)候我們也可以這樣寫來升華文章的主題，“Sometimes, a small act of kindness may be powerful enough to make a huge difference to others.”。

我們?cè)谄綍r(shí)多積累一些可以用于哲理式結(jié)尾的句子，這樣，考試時(shí)就可以根據(jù)文章的主題信手拈來。根據(jù)讀后續(xù)寫?？嫉脑掝}，我們可以從以下幾個(gè)方面歸納和記憶一些有哲理的句子。

（一）助人

1. Sometimes, a small act of kindness may be powerful enough to make a huge difference to others. 有時(shí)候，一個(gè)小小的善舉可能足以給別人帶來巨大的改變。

2. Love may have many ways, but it can always warm people in the dark. 愛的方式有很多，但它總能溫暖黑暗中的人們。

3. The roses in her hand, the flavor in mine./Roses given, fragrance in hand. 贈(zèng)人玫瑰，手有余香。

4. When you light a lamp for someone else, you brighten your own path, too. 當(dāng)你為別人點(diǎn)燈時(shí)，你也照亮了自己的道路。

（二）脫險(xiǎn)

1. It was this unique experience that taught me whatever difficulty we are faced with,we mustn't give up our hope. 正是這次特別的經(jīng)歷教會(huì)了我：無論我們面臨什么困難，我們都不能放棄希望。

2. Life is full of dilemmas and conflicts, but we should never give up. 生活充滿了困境和沖突，但我們永遠(yuǎn)都不應(yīng)該放棄。

3. It turns out that there's always a way out of any plight as long as we stay calm. 事實(shí)證明，只要我們保持冷靜，就總有辦法擺脫困境。

（三）成長(zhǎng)

1. As long as we stay positive and never give up, we will surely achieve our goal in the end. 只要我們保持積極樂觀，永不放棄，我們最終一定能實(shí)現(xiàn)目標(biāo)。

2. I come to realize that it is our personalities that decide who we truly are. 我逐漸意識(shí)到，決定我們真正是誰的是我們的個(gè)性。

3. As long as we dare to dream and don't let difficulties get in our way, everything is possible. 只要我們敢于夢(mèng)想，不被困難所阻擋，一切皆有可能。

4. I am a slow walker, but I never walk backwards. 我走得很慢，但是我從來不會(huì)后退。

5. Only when our eyes have been washed by tears, can we have a broader view of life. 只有淚水洗過的眼睛，才會(huì)有更開闊的人生視野。

6. Where there is a will, there is a way. 有志者，事竟成。

（四）生活

1. Poverty is not shame, but the being ashamed of it is. 貧窮不可恥，恥貧才可恥。

2. Politeness costs nothing and gains everything. 禮貌不費(fèi)分文而可贏得一切。

3. Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. 忍耐是苦的，但它的果實(shí)是甜的。

4. There is no desperate situation in the world, only those who are desperate. 世上沒有絕望的處境，只有對(duì)處境絕望的人。

5. Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude. 是你的態(tài)度，而非天資，決定了你的高度。

文章結(jié)尾的方式多種多樣，我們寫作時(shí)要根據(jù)文章的具體情況選擇最合適的方式精彩結(jié)尾，給閱卷老師留下深刻的印象。

【參考范文】

As the old man seated himself, he looked at the wall and said, “One cup of coffee from the wall.” “Yes, sir.” The waiter served coffee to this man with customary respect and dignity. The old man enjoyed his coffee contentedly. About half an hour later, he finished his coffee. Then he stood up and left without paying. When we were just about to call the waiter and tell him everything, the waiter came back, took off a piece of paper from the wall and threw it in the trash bin.

Now there were only two pieces of paper left on the wall, but we came to understand everything. When people in this town enjoyed coffee, they paid for an extra cup of coffee for the needy who couldn't afford, though they didn't know who would drink this cup of coffee. And the needy enjoyed a free cup of coffee without having to lower his selfesteem. The great respect and love for the needy shown by the inhabitants of this town made our eyes well up with tears. We ordered one more coffee, saying “a cup of coffee on the wall”, paid for it and left.

【模擬導(dǎo)練】

閱讀下面材料，根據(jù)其內(nèi)容和所給段落開頭續(xù)寫兩段，使之構(gòu)成一篇完整的短文。

“Mom! I'm home! ” John happily said and ran into the kitchen. His mom was making cookies near the window. Outside, a robin was singing. Pop-Pop, John's grandpa, who lived with them after John's grandma died, came shuffling through the door. Pop-Pop said,“When the robin sings, spring is here.” John's mom added, “Tomorrow, John, let's do the annual spring cleaning.”

The next day, John and his mom cleaned the house. When looking at Pop-Pop's chair, John's mom said, “That old chair has to go. We'll buy Pop-Pop a new one. Let's take it to the roadside. Tomorrow the garbage truck will pick it up.” John agreed because the chair was worn. As they attempted to move the chair, Pop-Pop came. He tried to stop John and his mom, saying he didn't need a new one. Finally, John's mom let go of the chair and said, “We'll discuss it tonight when Matt gets home.” Matt, John's dad, was still at work.

With a sigh of relief, the old man sank into his chair. “Pop-Pop, why not get rid of this old chair?” John asked when his mother left the room. “You all don't understand,John,” Pop-Pop whispered. “I sat in this chair, with your grandma right here, when I asked her to marry me. It was so long ago. But when I sit there, I feel she's near. And the night your father was born, I sat in this chair, too. I was so happy when they placed the tiny baby into my arms.” As Pop-Pop continued telling his connection with the chair,John understood this chair was more like a friend to him.

That night, however, when John and Pop-Pop were asleep, John's parents carried the chair to the roadside. It was a starless night. Spring had moved away temporarily, and snow fell silently and covered Pop-Pop's chair. The next morning, when John came downstairs, he saw Pop-Pop standing by the window and looking outside. John followed his sad look. Snow-covered, the chair stood out on the street.

注意：續(xù)寫詞數(shù)應(yīng)為150左右。

Paragraph 1:The noise of the truck pulling up to the house shocked John into action.

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Paragraph 2:

And then John's mom said sorry to Pop-Pop and decided to get his chair back.

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【評(píng)價(jià)導(dǎo)思】

1. 我續(xù)寫的內(nèi)容是否注意了與原文的銜接，包括語篇主旨、文章內(nèi)容和語言風(fēng)格的銜接？

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2. 續(xù)寫這篇文章的時(shí)候，可以采取哪些方式進(jìn)行結(jié)尾？ 我采用了哪種方式結(jié)尾？我的結(jié)尾方式是否能吸引閱卷人？

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3. 在平時(shí)寫作時(shí)，我還可以從哪些方面入手來潤(rùn)色結(jié)尾的句子？

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