英語笑話

【美】Marshall’s Talent Education, LLC. 龔珍妮 編譯

1. What Letter Can Hurt You If It Gets Too Close?如果你挨得太近，什么字母會傷害你？

Teacher: Whatlettercanhurtyou if itgets too close, Jason?

Jason: B (bee).

老師：杰森，如果你挨得太近，什么字母會傷害你？

杰森：B（蜜蜂）。

Notes:

lettern.字母

hurtv.傷害

get too close挨得太近

been.蜜蜂

2. The Letter “T” Is So Amazing!字母tT?太神奇了！

Teacher: Mike, whatstartswiththe letter “t”,is filled with“t” andends in“t”?

Mike: Ateapot!

老師：邁克，什么東西以字母“t”開頭，以“t”裝入，以“t”結(jié)尾？

邁克：茶壺！

Notes:

startv.開始

start with …以……開始

be filled with … 以……裝進(jìn)去

end in … 以……結(jié)尾

teapotn.茶壺

3. What Color Were the Stairs?樓梯是什么顏色的？

Lucy: In aone-storypinkhouse, there was a pinkperson, a pink cat, a pink fish, a pink computer, a pink chair, a pink table, a pink telephone, and a pinkshower. Everything was pink! What color were thestairsthen?

Mary: There weren’t any stairs. It was aone-story house!

露西：在一幢一層樓高的粉紅色房子里，有一個粉紅色皮膚的人，一只粉紅色的貓，一條粉紅色的魚，一臺粉紅色的電腦，一把粉紅色的椅子，一張粉紅色的餐桌，一部粉紅色的電話，還有一個粉紅色的淋蓬頭。所有的東西都是粉紅色的！那么，樓梯是什么顏色呢？

瑪麗：沒有樓梯。那是一幢平房！

Notes:

one-story一層樓的

pinkadj.粉色的

personn.人

showern.淋蓬頭

stairn.樓梯

one-story house平房

4. I Gave It to a Poor Old Woman我把它給了一個貧窮的老太婆

Little Robert was a small boy. He was very good and smart.Almosteverybody liked him.

One day, Little Robert asked his mother for twocents.

“What did youdo withthemoneyI gave youyesterday?” asked his mother.

“I gave it to apoorold woman,” he answered.

“You’re a good boy,” said the motherproudly, “Here are two cents more. But why are you sointerested inthe old woman?”

“She is the one whosellsthecandy,” Little Robert said.

小羅伯特是個小男孩。他很乖，很聰明。幾乎每個人都喜歡他。

一天，小羅伯特向他媽媽要兩分錢。

“我昨天給你的錢，你花哪兒了？”他母親問。

“我把它給了一個可憐的老婦人。”他回答。

“你是個好孩子，”母親驕傲地說，“再給你兩分錢。但是你為什么對這位老婦人這么感興趣呢？”

“她是賣糖果的。”小羅伯特說。

`Notes:

almostadv.幾乎

centn.分；百分之一元

do with …處理……

moneyn.錢

yesterdayadv.昨天

pooradj.貧窮的；可憐的

proudlyadv.驕傲地

interested in …對……感興趣

sellv.賣；出售

candyn.糖果

5. I Know the Reason of the Famine我知道鬧饑荒的原因了

Bernard Shaw was a well-known British writer. He was born on July 26, 1856 and died on November 2, 1950. He wrote many famousnovelsand a lot of interesting short stories. He won Nobel Prize in Literature in 1925. He washumorous absolutely, but he was very thin.

One day, Bernard Shaw was invited to a big dinner party. At the party, acapitalistlooked at Bernard Shaw up and down for a while,and said in all seriousness, “Look at yourappearance. It really makes people believe that all the British arestarving.”

Bernard Shawexaminedthe very fat capitalist, and said immediately, “But I know the reason why Britain issufferingfamine as soon as I saw you.”

蕭伯納是英國著名作家。他出生于1856年7月26日，于1950年11月2日去世。他寫了許多著名的小說和許多有趣的短文。他于1925年獲得諾貝爾文學(xué)獎。他絕對幽默，但是身材很瘦。

一天，蕭伯納被邀請參加一個盛大的晚宴。在聚會上，一個資本家上下打量了蕭伯納一會兒，然后一本正經(jīng)地說：“看看你的外表，真讓人相信所有的英國人都在挨餓?！?/p>

蕭伯納審視了那個肥胖的資本家，立刻說道：“可我一見到你，我就知道英國遭受饑荒的原因了?！?/p>

Notes:

noveln.小說

humorousadj.幽默的

absolutelyadv.絕對地

capitalistn.資本家

appearancen.外表；外貌

starvingadj.挨餓的

examinev.審視；注視

sufferv.承受；遭受