Yellow Butterfly
Qi Yuan
Shandong Pictorial Publishing House
August 2021
59.00 (CNY)
This is the latest collection of short novels by Qi Yuan, a post-80s writer. It includes New Year’s Eve, Yellow Butterfly, and Rainbow at Night. On New Year’s Eve, she, who lost her father and divorced, spent the Lunar New Year alone for the first time in over 30 years. In Yellow Butterfly, Ah Ye was left alone after his grandfather died. He envied the students whose parents were with them alive, and felt that their lives stayed in the position reserved for them. Instead, he would never find that position. Rainbow at Night describes the “human” life of “all kinds of rubbish” in the night, which is different from people’s ordinary life. They are “rubbish” at night, in an abnormal state seperate from the crowd, and it tells of the expressions and thoughts of people in the night. The protagonists in these stories are often alone. They live, walk, and dream alone. Compared with the ups and downs of the plots, the writer pays more attention to the imagery “sense of strangeness” of the fiction as a whole.
Qi Yuan graduated from the China Academy of Art. Her major works include Dizziness, He’s the Only One in the World, I’m Not Going Crazy, and so on. She won the third “Zijin, People’s Literature Star” Short Fiction Award. She was nominated for the fourth Yu Dafu Novella Award and the most potential New Writer Award of the Year of the 15th Chinese Literature and Media Award. She also won the 2016 Youth Literary Star of Zhejiang Province, the second Mao Dun Literary Newcomer Award, and so on.
She felt a little relieved, thinking that this year was the first time she had spent the Lunar New Year alone in over 30 years.
For many years, it was the first time for her to stay out of the crowd returning home for the Chinese New Year. She finally got rid of it. She felt relieved and felt as light as a flying swallow. There is no need to worry about all the things related to returning home for the New Year, such as buying gifts, visiting relatives, bringing medicine for her family, worrying about whether the medicine was fake, and so on.
Of course, she also felt a little guilty, thinking that she didn’t have to go back because her father was gone and the family broke up. Was it not pleasant to return home every year when her father was alive? Did she feel relieved when the family was broken up? No, that was not true. She was a little confused and couldn’t figure it out for a moment.
It was drizzling suddenly. She felt wet and cool on her face. There were almost no people in the streets. They all got off work early like her. But they were going home, or they were still on their long way home. For so many years, she had been in a hurry to go to work and come home from work every day. It seemed that she had never had time to walk around here. She suddenly wanted to frisk around, to do somersaults in the street, or to shout curse words at the Huangpu River.
The streets were empty, so were the office buildings and the sky. A unique empty city before the New Year came. The road with few people and cars looked straight as if it finally could stretch its waist and legs after being tense for a whole year. The traffic light switching different lights at the intersection also lost its meaning. Now it just played with itself with the constant switching of the lights. Finally, a long-distance truck came and stopped when the red light came. Who was still working on New Year’s Eve? She glanced into the cab of the truck to see what the driver looked like and what was different. But because of the window reflecting the bright light, she saw nothing. When the green light came, the truck drove off angrily.
She tied her scarf more tightly as she felt a little cold. Her hair was messy, and her heart was a little empty. It was a good state, but she could not say how good it was. Anyway, she felt that this was exactly what she had always wanted. She noticed a long time ago that she liked to be lazy and leisurely and didn’t like to be busy, or rather, she didn’t like doing things. Having nothing to do is preferred. But, life forced her to do the opposite. She had to take exams and part-time jobs, attend training courses, and look for a job. She had to be busy with filing documents, photocopying all kinds of documents, arranging appointments for clients and dates appearing in court. She thought this was what people called fate.
She was easily content with the status quo. She was not picky for a job, had no ambition of a career woman, and didn’t associate herself with ambitious people. She felt stressed and uncomfortable when getting along with them. But not long ago, she divorced. She thus became the owner of a property and had a mortgage of more than 1.6 million RMB. The burden was heavy. Her work was so busy that she often felt swollen in her eyes and dizzy in her head.
Walking like this, she almost stepped on a banana peel. Nearby, a bulging diaper was stuffed into the opening of a garbage bin. She suddenly realized she had walked for so long. Where was she? Where was she going? So she stopped, settled down, and looked around. She saw countless pink Peppa Pigs on the billboard staring at her proudly. There were still many Christmas lights on the nearby trees. Perhaps people were too lazy to take them down, or they intended to keep them for the New Year. She didn’t know. After a while, she finally remembered that she got off work early and was going home. Yes, she wanted to go home early. She wanted to get sleep well, sleeping for a few days or even sleeping for the whole holiday. She felt very tired those years. Finally, she could rest well and not have to worry about anything else. It felt really good!
Is there any food in the refrigerator for the New Year holiday? It seemed so. She had bought some frozen mutton and dumplings these days as well as some eggplants, Shanghai cabbage, beans, and some instant noodles. Thinking of this, she felt relieved.
What happens if she forgets to buy food and the store is closed for a month? She remembered that there were a lot of cosmetics in the refrigerator, which filled the places where vegetables and fruits were supposed to be stored. The skin ointment and creams themselves were like food such as a kind of condensed fat or a kind of artificial fat.