Compliments and Praise

劉思宇

There are some differences between Chinese and Americans in the way they reply to compliments： Americans tend to accept compliments while the Chinese generally murmur1 some replies about not being worthy2 of the praise. Here a few more words are said about this difference. Consider the following examples.

A young Chinese woman in the US was complimented for the lovely dress that she was wearing. “Its exquisite3. The colors are so beautiful.” She was pleased but somewhat embarrassed4. In the typical Chinese way， she replied， “Oh， its just an ordinary dress that I bought in China.”

At a reception5 in an American college， a newly6 arrived Chinese scholar was chatting with the hostess， who was an old friend. As an acquaintance7 of hers came up she said， “Ron， let me introduce Mr Chen， an outstanding physicist and one of the nicest people I know.” Mr Chen offered his hand to the newcomer8 but looked at his hostess and said with a smile， “Should I blush9， or tell him you dont really mean that？”

In both cases， the words of the Chinese conveyed10 a message quite different from what was intended. In the case of the Chinese woman， the reply could have meant that the one paying the compliment did not know what a really good dress is; otherwise， how could she get so excited about an ordinary dress？ The implication11 was that the American womans taste in clothing was questionable12. In the second case， if Chen had not been smiling， his words could have been interpreted as meaning， “Youre just saying that to be polite; you dont really mean that.” So in one case， the person had poor judgment. In the other， the latter case， the hostess was not sincere13. Quite a gap14 between intention and message！

Notes： 1. murmur v. 小聲說 2. worthy adj. 值得的 3. exquisite adj. 精致的 4. embarrassed adj. 尷尬的 5. reception n. 歡迎會 6. newly adj. 新來的 7. acquaintance n. 熟人 8. newcomer n. 新人 9. blush v. 羞愧 10. convey v. 表達 11. implication n. 言外之意 12. questionable adj. 不確定的 13. sincere adj. 真心的 14. gap n. 差距