Teens Who Seek Solitude May Know What’s Best for Them 青少年獨處有益處

珍妮弗·麥克納爾蒂 陳圓

Teens who choose to spend time alone may know whats best for them， according to new research that suggests solitude isnt a red flag for isolation or depression.

The key factor is choice， say researchers at the University of California， Santa Cruz， and Wilmington College： When solitude is imposed on adolescents and young adults， whether as punishment or as a result of social anxiety， it can be problematic. But chosen solitude contributes to personal growth and self-acceptance， they found.

“Solitude has gotten a lot of bad press， especially for adolescents who get labeled as social misfits or lonely，” said Margarita Azmitia， professor of psychology at UC Santa Cruz and coauthor of a new paper in the Journal of Adolescence. “Sometimes， solitude is good. Developmentally， learning to be alone is a skill， and it can be refreshing and restorative.”

Most previous studies confounded solitude with loneliness or shyness， said Azmitia. “Theres a stigma for kids who spend time alone. Theyre considered lacking in social skills， or they get labeled ‘loners， ” she said. “Its beneficial to know when you need to be alone and when you need to be with others. This study quantifies the benefits of solitude and distinguishes it from the costs of loneliness or isolation.”

Virginia Thomas， assistant professor of psychology at Wilmington College， spearheaded the research as a graduate student in Azmitias lab， where she developed a specialization in the role of solitude in identity development and emotional wellbeing.

When adolescents and young adults choose to spend time alone， solitude can provide an opportunity for self-reflection， creative expression， or spiritual renewal. It can be challenging when it is imposed on them—when they opt out of social engagement because they lack friends， feel awkward， experience social anxiety， or are being punished.

To distinguish between these motivations， Thomas and Azmitia developed a 14-item survey that asked respondents to rate their motivations for solitude on a four-point scale， posing questions like， “I feel energized when I spend time by myself，” and “I enjoy the quiet，” versus “I feel uncomfortable when Im with others，” and “I regret things I say or do when Im with others.”

Those who seek solitude because they feel rejected or want to retreat into isolation are at greater risk of social anxiety， loneliness， and depression， and they tend to have lower levels of identity development， autonomy， and positive relationships with others. In contrast， those who seek solitude for positive reasons， such as self-reflection or a desire for peace and quiet， face none of these risks.

Todays fast-paced， device-driven culture emphasizes being connected to friends and associates 24/7， and young people have little practice learning to manage their time alone productively. Imposed solitude is more problematic for adolescents， who often worry about being rejected by their peers or friends or fear that being alone means they are unpopular. However， the capacity for solitude blossoms in young adults， the researchers found.

“These results increase our awareness that being alone can be restorative and a positive thing，” said Thomas. “The question is how to be alone without feeling like were missing out. For many people， solitude is like exercising a muscle theyve never used. You have to develop it， flex it， and learn to use time alone to your benefit.”

Solitude serves the same positive functions in introverts and extroverts. “Introverts just need more of it，” noted Thomas.

“Our culture is pretty biased toward extroversion，” she said. “When we see any sign of shyness or introversion in children， we worry they wont be popular. But we overlook plenty of well-adjusted teens and young adults who are perfectly happy when alone， and who benefit from their solitude.”

Both researchers encouraged parents to appreciate the benefits of solitude for their children. “Parents can help their children understand that being alone isnt bad. It doesnt mean nobody likes you，” said Azmitia. “Solitude can improve the wellbeing of kids who are overstimulated. They can learn to regulate their behavior， on their own， without being told to.”

“We need to build our cultural understanding that we dont have to be social all the time，” said Azmitia. “Sometimes alone time is good time.”

新的研究顯示，獨處并非孤僻和抑郁的危險信號，選擇獨處的青少年可能了解最適合自己的是什么。

加利福尼亞大學(xué)圣克魯茲分校和威爾明頓學(xué)院的研究者們表示，關(guān)鍵因素在于選擇。不論作為懲罰還是源于社交焦慮，少年和青年被迫承受孤獨時，都會問題重重。但研究者們同時也發(fā)現(xiàn)，主動選擇獨處能夠促進(jìn)個人成長和自我接納。

瑪格麗塔·阿茲米蒂亞是加利福尼亞大學(xué)圣克魯茲分校的心理學(xué)教授，也是《青少年雜志》近期發(fā)表的一篇論文的作者之一。她說：“媒體對獨處有很多負(fù)面報道，特別是有些青少年，被貼上了不合群或孤獨的標(biāo)簽。有時，獨處是件好事。就個人發(fā)展而言，學(xué)會獨處是一項技能，有利于提神醒腦?！?/p>

阿茲米蒂亞說，先前的大部分研究都將獨處與孤獨或害羞混為一談。“獨處的孩子背負(fù)污名。他們被認(rèn)為缺少社交技能，或被扣上‘不合群的帽子。”她說，“知道自己何時需要獨處，何時需要與人接觸，這是有益的。我們定量研究了獨處的好處，將它與孤獨或孤僻的代價區(qū)分開來?！?/p>

威爾明頓學(xué)院心理學(xué)助理教授弗吉尼婭·托馬斯在阿茲米蒂亞實驗室做研究生時發(fā)起這項研究，漸漸專門研究獨處對自我認(rèn)同發(fā)展和情緒健康的影響。

少年和青年主動選擇獨處，可以獲得一個自我反思、創(chuàng)新表達(dá)或精神充電的機(jī)會。但被迫獨處可能很棘手——這種時候他們是因為缺少朋友、感到尷尬、經(jīng)歷社交焦慮或受到懲罰而放棄與人交往。

為了區(qū)分以上動機(jī)，托馬斯和阿茲米蒂亞設(shè)計了一份包含14條問題的調(diào)查問卷，要求受試者在一個四級量表上評定自己的獨處動機(jī)，內(nèi)容包括：“我獨處時感到很有活力”“我喜歡安靜”及與之相對的“與他人相處時我感到不適”“與他人相處時我后悔說的話和做的事” 。

有些人刻意獨處是因為感到被他人排斥或想要逃避什么，他們有更大的風(fēng)險產(chǎn)生社交焦慮、孤獨和抑郁的情緒，往往缺少自我認(rèn)同發(fā)展、自主性和積極的人際關(guān)系。相比之下，有些人從積極的角度出發(fā)選擇獨處，如自我反思、尋求寧靜平和，則沒有上述風(fēng)險。

現(xiàn)代社會節(jié)奏飛快，人人離不開設(shè)備，這種文化強(qiáng)調(diào)全天候與朋友和同事保持聯(lián)絡(luò)，年輕人幾乎沒有機(jī)會學(xué)習(xí)有效地管理獨處時間。被迫獨處對青少年來說更成問題，他們往往擔(dān)心遭到同齡人或朋友排斥，害怕孤身一人就意味著不受歡迎。然而，研究者們卻發(fā)現(xiàn)，青年人的獨處能力明顯增強(qiáng)。

“研究結(jié)果讓我們越發(fā)意識到，獨處利于自我修復(fù)，有積極意義?！蓖旭R斯說，“問題是，如何獨處而又不會感到錯失什么。對很多人來說，獨處就像鍛煉一塊從來沒用過的肌肉。要像鍛煉肌肉那樣增強(qiáng)獨處的能力，學(xué)會利用獨處時間。”

獨處對內(nèi)向者和外向者有同樣的益處。托馬斯指出：“內(nèi)向者只是更需要獨處?！?/p>

“我們的文化是非常偏重外向?！彼f，“我們一旦看到孩子身上有害羞或內(nèi)向的苗頭，就會擔(dān)心他們不受歡迎。但我們忽視了很多適應(yīng)能力強(qiáng)的少年和青年在獨處時非?？鞓?，也從中受益良多?！?/p>

兩位研究者都鼓勵父母積極看待獨處對孩子的影響。“父母可以幫助孩子明白獨處并非壞事，并不意味著沒人喜歡你。”阿茲米蒂亞說，“獨處可以幫助靜不下來的孩子變得平和，讓他們學(xué)著自己控制行為，而不是靠別人提醒?！?/p>

“我們需要建立一種文化上的認(rèn)識：我們并不是每時每刻都需要社交?！卑⑵澝椎賮喺f，“有時候，獨處的時光是美好的?！? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? □

（譯者為“《英語世界》杯”翻譯大賽獲獎?wù)撸?/p>