2019年6月大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四級(jí)作文試題評(píng)析

賈從永

（一）

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write a news report to your campus newspaper on a visit to a Hope elementary school organized by your Student Union. You should write at least 120 words but no more than180 words.

本次大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四級(jí)考試的作文試題要求考生為校報(bào)寫(xiě)一篇新聞，內(nèi)容是一次由學(xué)生會(huì)組織的參觀希望小學(xué)的活動(dòng)。這是自1987年開(kāi)始大學(xué)英語(yǔ)四、六級(jí)考試以來(lái)第一次考查英語(yǔ)新聞的寫(xiě)作，不少考生感到束手無(wú)策。其實(shí)考生對(duì)英語(yǔ)新聞的文體特點(diǎn)都是有所了解的，完全可以依葫蘆畫(huà)瓢寫(xiě)出這篇新聞報(bào)道。

一篇英語(yǔ)新聞一般由四個(gè)部分構(gòu)成：標(biāo)題、署名、導(dǎo)語(yǔ)和主體。新聞標(biāo)題講究短小精悍、言簡(jiǎn)意賅，為此常常省去虛詞。此外，英語(yǔ)新聞的標(biāo)題一般用現(xiàn)在時(shí)表示一個(gè)過(guò)去的事實(shí)，以凸顯新聞的時(shí)效性。因此，本題中的新聞標(biāo)題可以寫(xiě)Shanghai University Students Visit Hope Primary School。

標(biāo)題之后是記者的署名，我們不妨假設(shè)記者叫李明（Li Ming）。

署名之后是導(dǎo)語(yǔ)。導(dǎo)語(yǔ)是新聞的起始部分。

最后是新聞的主體，按一定順序交代其他新聞事實(shí)。

新聞的敘事方式與一般的記敘文有很大不同。從結(jié)構(gòu)上說(shuō)，英語(yǔ)新聞一般采用倒金字塔結(jié)構(gòu)。這種結(jié)構(gòu)產(chǎn)生于美國(guó)獨(dú)立戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)時(shí)期，由美聯(lián)社記者率先使用。為了在激烈的新聞競(jìng)爭(zhēng)搶先發(fā)稿，記者們?cè)陂L(zhǎng)期的實(shí)踐中形成了這種獨(dú)特的寫(xiě)作規(guī)范。其特點(diǎn)是新聞的第一段（即導(dǎo)語(yǔ)）用簡(jiǎn)練的語(yǔ)言把最有新聞價(jià)值的事實(shí)表達(dá)出來(lái)，讓讀者看完這段文字之后就能獲悉新聞的主要內(nèi)容。因此，新聞的首段一般包含五個(gè)W（who， what， where， when， why）和一個(gè)H（how）中最重要的因素。接下來(lái)，記者按照重要性遞減的順序依次交代其他新聞事實(shí)。一般來(lái)說(shuō)，按照倒金字塔結(jié)構(gòu)寫(xiě)出的英語(yǔ)新聞沒(méi)有結(jié)尾，止其當(dāng)所止，即事實(shí)交代清楚了，新聞也就自然結(jié)束了。這種結(jié)構(gòu)的優(yōu)點(diǎn)顯而易見(jiàn)：第一，方便記者寫(xiě)作;第二，方便編輯改稿;第三，方便讀者閱讀。所以它一經(jīng)產(chǎn)生便風(fēng)靡西方新聞界，一百多年來(lái)一直被奉為新聞寫(xiě)作的圭臬。

我們寫(xiě)這篇英語(yǔ)新聞，最好也采用倒金字塔結(jié)構(gòu)，在導(dǎo)語(yǔ)里告訴讀者最重要的新聞事實(shí)：上海大學(xué)的學(xué)生參觀一所希望小學(xué)。新聞報(bào)道講究具體，因此我們不妨假設(shè)這所小學(xué)叫紅星希望小學(xué)，位于江西省吉安縣的一個(gè)貧困地區(qū)。在導(dǎo)語(yǔ)之后，依次交代其他新聞事實(shí)，譬如這所小學(xué)的概況、校長(zhǎng)帶領(lǐng)參觀者參觀校園、參觀者向該校學(xué)生捐贈(zèng)書(shū)包和文具等。

此外，英語(yǔ)新聞的行文風(fēng)格也迥然不同于專(zhuān)著文章。為了增加易讀性（readability），英語(yǔ)新聞段落短小精悍，一般一句一段，一段只說(shuō)一層意思。下面請(qǐng)看參考范文：

Shanghai University Students Visit Hope Primary School

By Li Ming

Fifteen students of Shanghai University visited a Hope elementary school in a poverty-stricken area of Jian County， Jiangxi Province on June 5.

Hongxing Hope Elementary school， which serves 59 students from three villages in the vicinity， is a two-storied building with a floor area of 1073 square meters.

Jiang Lei， headmaster of the school， showed the visitors around the campus and briefed them about the school.

“Most of the pupils here are left-behind children whose parents work in coastal cities far away from home，” Jiang said. “So the majority of them are boarders.”

Zhang Wei， chairman of the Student Union of Shanghai University who organized the event， donated books， schoolbags and stationery to the pupils on behalf of the visitors.

“Im very grateful to the older brothers and sisters from Shanghai University，” said Jiang Yingying， a two-grader， holding a new schoolbag. “I will study harder in return for their kindness.” （172 words）

語(yǔ)言亮點(diǎn)借鑒：

1. Hongxing Hope Elementary School， which serves 59 students from three villages in the vicinity， is a two-storied building with a floor area of 1073 square meters. 紅星希望小學(xué)是一座兩層的建筑，建筑面積1073平方米。該校有59名學(xué)生，來(lái)自附近的三個(gè)村莊。in the vicinity 附近。

2. Jiang Lei， headmaster of the school， showed the visitors around the campus and briefed them about the school. 這所小學(xué)的校長(zhǎng)姜磊帶領(lǐng)參觀者看了校園并向他們簡(jiǎn)要介紹了這所小學(xué)。brief sb about sth 向某人介紹某事物。

3. “Most of the pupils here are left-behind children whose parents work in coastal cities far away from home，” Jiang said. “So the majority of them are boarders.” 姜磊說(shuō)：“這所學(xué)校的大部分學(xué)生都是留守兒童，他們的父母遠(yuǎn)離家鄉(xiāng)在沿海城市打工，所以大部分學(xué)生住校。”left-behind children 留守兒童。boarder 住宿生。

4. “Im very grateful to the older brothers and sisters from Shanghai University，” said Jiang Yingying， a two-grader， holding a new schoolbag. 二年級(jí)學(xué)生姜瑩瑩拿著一個(gè)新書(shū)包說(shuō)：“我非常感謝來(lái)自上海大學(xué)的大哥哥和大姐姐們?！県olding a new schoolbag是現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)做狀語(yǔ)，表示伴隨動(dòng)作。

（二）

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write a news report to your campus newspaper on a visit to a local farm organized by your Student Union. You should write at least 120 words but no more than 180 words.

本題要求考生為校報(bào)寫(xiě)一篇新聞，內(nèi)容是一次由學(xué)生會(huì)組織的參觀當(dāng)?shù)剞r(nóng)場(chǎng)的活動(dòng)。就本題而言，由于題中新聞是接近于旅游特寫(xiě)的軟新聞，我們不妨把導(dǎo)語(yǔ)寫(xiě)得“軟”一點(diǎn)兒，從描述農(nóng)場(chǎng)的景色入手，開(kāi)篇就把讀者帶到綿延起伏、鮮花盛開(kāi)、綠意蔥蘢、溪水潺潺的農(nóng)場(chǎng)上。主體部分可以依次介紹大學(xué)生參觀農(nóng)場(chǎng)的各種活動(dòng)，最后引用新聞當(dāng)事人的話(huà)，以揭示這次參觀的意義。下面請(qǐng)看參考范文：

Shanghai University Students Visit Local Farm

By Li Ming

Rolling pastures， blooming flowers， lush woodlands and gurgling streams came into sight when 25 students of Shanghai University arrived at Hongxing Farm on June 5， which is a three-hour drive from Shanghai.

The students busied themselves picking strawberries， feeding the livestock， milking the cow or collecting eggs as soon as they arrived at the farm.

After a picnic lunch， some canoed on the lake， some pedaled around on loaner bikes， and some lounged in a hammock in the shade.

“What a cool experience it is living close to the natural world，” exclaimed Li Min， a sophomore majoring in mathematics， cuddling a baby goat.

“This is a rare opportunity for college students to see what its really like to work on a farm，” said Zhang Wei， chairman of the Student Union， who organized the event， adding that its easy to romanticize farm life， but in fact its pretty hard. （167 words）

語(yǔ)言亮點(diǎn)借鑒：

1. Rolling pastures， blooming flowers， lush woodlands and gurgling streams came into sight when 25 students of Shanghai University arrived at Hongxing Farm on June 5， which is a three-hour drive from Shanghai. 6月5日，當(dāng)25名上海大學(xué)的學(xué)生來(lái)到紅星農(nóng)場(chǎng)時(shí)，起伏的牧場(chǎng)、盛開(kāi)的鮮花、茂盛的樹(shù)林和汩汩流淌的小溪映入眼簾。該農(nóng)場(chǎng)距離上海三個(gè)小時(shí)的車(chē)程。come into sight 映入眼簾。

2. “What a cool experience it is living close to the natural world，” exclaimed Li Min， a sophomore majoring in mathematics， cuddling a baby goat. 數(shù)學(xué)專(zhuān)業(yè)的大二學(xué)生李敏摟著一只小羊羔大聲說(shuō)：“和大自然一起生活真是太棒了?！眒ajoring in mathematics是現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)做定語(yǔ)，修飾sophomore。cuddling a baby goat是現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)做狀語(yǔ)，表示伴隨動(dòng)作。

3. “This is a rare opportunity for college students to see what its really like to work on a farm，” said Zhang Wei， chairman of the Student Union， who organized the event， adding that its easy to romanticize farm life， but in fact its pretty hard. 組織這次活動(dòng)的學(xué)生會(huì)主席張偉說(shuō)：“這是一個(gè)難得的機(jī)會(huì)，讓大學(xué)生們看看在農(nóng)場(chǎng)工作的真實(shí)情況?！彼a(bǔ)充說(shuō)，人們?nèi)菀装艳r(nóng)場(chǎng)生活浪漫化，但其實(shí)農(nóng)場(chǎng)生活很辛苦。adding that是現(xiàn)在分詞短語(yǔ)做狀語(yǔ)，表示伴隨動(dòng)作。romanticize把……浪漫化。

（三）

Directions： For this part， you are allowed 30 minutes to write a news report to your campus newspaper on a volunteer activity organized by your Student Union to assist elderly people in the neighborhood. You should write at least 120 words but no more than180 words.

本題要求考生為校報(bào)寫(xiě)一篇新聞，報(bào)道由學(xué)生會(huì)組織的一次志愿者活動(dòng)。就本題而言，我們可以在第一段中交代最重要的新聞事實(shí)——15名上海大學(xué)的志愿者到紅星養(yǎng)老院做社區(qū)服務(wù)。接著，交代他們的具體活動(dòng)：一些人做清潔，一些人教老年人上網(wǎng)或使用智能手機(jī)，一些人陪老年人聊天等。最后，引用志愿者、組織者和護(hù)士長(zhǎng)的話(huà)，揭示新聞事實(shí)的意義。

英語(yǔ)新聞的一個(gè)鮮明特點(diǎn)是大量使用引語(yǔ)。引用分為直接引語(yǔ)（Direction quote）、間接引語(yǔ)（Indirect quote）和部分引語(yǔ)（Partial quote）三種。直接引語(yǔ)是記者原原本本地引用新聞人物的話(huà)，并放在引號(hào)里面;間接引語(yǔ)是記者轉(zhuǎn)述新聞人物的話(huà)，不放在引號(hào)里面;部分引語(yǔ)是記者將新聞人物的原話(huà)的一部分放在引號(hào)中加以引用，而其余部分由記者轉(zhuǎn)述。引語(yǔ)，尤其是直接引語(yǔ)，能有效地增加新聞的易讀性。這是因?yàn)椋旱谝?，引語(yǔ)能增加新聞的現(xiàn)場(chǎng)感和真實(shí)感，使讀者如見(jiàn)其人，如聞其聲;第二，引語(yǔ)能巧妙地表達(dá)記者的觀點(diǎn)。英語(yǔ)新聞強(qiáng)調(diào)客觀、公正、平衡，但其實(shí)暗藏玄機(jī)。記者在新聞中引用哪個(gè)人的話(huà)，不引用哪個(gè)人的話(huà)，以及引用哪句話(huà)，都體現(xiàn)了記者的立場(chǎng)。所以，雖然記者不會(huì)直接在新聞中發(fā)表觀點(diǎn)，但會(huì)通過(guò)新聞人物之口表達(dá)自己的看法。譬如，我們?cè)谶@篇新聞中可以通過(guò)引用志愿者、組織者和護(hù)士長(zhǎng)等人的話(huà)，間接地表達(dá)自己對(duì)這次志愿者活動(dòng)的看法。下面請(qǐng)看參考范文：

Shanghai University Students Help Senior Citizens

By Li Ming

Hongxing Nursing Home was a hive of activity on the morning of June 5 as fifteen volunteers from Shanghai University was doing community service.

Some did the cleaning， some taught the elderly to surf the Internet or use the smart phone， and some chatted with the elders.

“Senior citizens made their contribution to the society，” a volunteer surnamed Li said during a short break from scrubbing the floor. “It is our moral duty to give them the respect and love they deserve.”

“It is also in the interest of the younger to help the elderly，” said Zhang Wei， chairman of the Student Union of Shanghai University who organized this event. “Senior citizens have a lifetime of experience. They always have a thing or two to teach us.”

Liu Yuan， matron at the nursing facility， praised the volunteer work as “most welcome，” adding that the elderly here really appreciate the students company. （171 words）

語(yǔ)言亮點(diǎn)借鑒：

1. Hongxing Nursing Home was a hive of activity on the morning of June 5 as fifteen volunteers from Shanghai University was doing community service. 6月5日早上，紅星養(yǎng)老院里一派繁忙景象。15名來(lái)自上海大學(xué)的志愿者正在做社區(qū)服務(wù)。a hive of activity 繁忙的場(chǎng)所。

2. “Senior citizens made their contribution to the society，” a volunteer surnamed Li said during a short break from scrubbing the floor. “It is our moral duty to give them the respect and love they deserve.” 一位姓李的志愿者在擦地板的短暫休息期間說(shuō)：“老年人為社會(huì)做出了貢獻(xiàn)，我們有道義上的責(zé)任給予他們愛(ài)和尊敬。這是他們應(yīng)該得到的?！?/p>

3. Liu Yuan， matron at the nursing facility， praised the volunteer work as “most welcome，” adding that the elderly here really appreciate the students company. 該養(yǎng)老院的護(hù)士長(zhǎng)劉媛稱(chēng)贊這次志愿者工作“非常受歡迎”，她還說(shuō)這里的老年人真心感謝學(xué)生們的陪伴。matron at the nursing facility是名詞短語(yǔ)，做Liu Yuan的同位語(yǔ)。? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?□