張娟
姜經(jīng)志 男,中學(xué)英語(yǔ)高級(jí)教師,省級(jí)骨干教師,淮北市優(yōu)秀教師,中國(guó)外語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)研究會(huì)會(huì)員,《學(xué)英語(yǔ)》《英語(yǔ)周報(bào)》《中學(xué)生英語(yǔ)》特約編輯。多年來,在省級(jí)以上報(bào)刊發(fā)表文章800余篇,并有多篇論文獲獎(jiǎng);曾主編《初中生英語(yǔ)滿分作文大全》《英語(yǔ)奧林匹克》《新目標(biāo)英語(yǔ)八年級(jí)暑假作業(yè)》,參編《高中英語(yǔ)知識(shí)點(diǎn)反饋與閱讀》《初中英語(yǔ)題典大全》《21世紀(jì)英語(yǔ)學(xué)習(xí)指南》《初中英語(yǔ)新作文》《中學(xué)生英語(yǔ)水平測(cè)試》等10余冊(cè);曾輔導(dǎo)學(xué)生30余人次在國(guó)家和省級(jí)英語(yǔ)競(jìng)賽中獲獎(jiǎng)。
Recently Ive had a discussion with my classmates about whether teenagers should do housework. Some students say that many parents dont let their daughters or sons do anything, because they hope that their children have more time for lessons so that they can go to university and then have good jobs. Some of us think that its a waste of time. Some think that they are too young not to① do anything. They think that the housework should be done by their parents. I dont agree with it.
Although we are very busy with our lessons, but② I think we should do some housework with our parents, because our parents are also busy and tired after a days work. They care for us and we should care for them, too. Whats more, do③ housework can also help us learn to look after ourselves and make our tired brain relax.
I think we should study hard every day in order to learn all the lessons well. At the same time, we should also do some housework every day, it is good for us. Now we are not little babies any longer. We should spend some of our spare time on housework to reduce our parents burden.
1. 優(yōu)點(diǎn):
很多家長(zhǎng)愛孩子愛到無微不至,當(dāng)前學(xué)生在家中普遍不做家務(wù)或很少做家務(wù),既有家長(zhǎng)溺愛孩子的原因,也有學(xué)生自己缺乏責(zé)任心的原因。作者通過講道理的方法對(duì)這一錯(cuò)誤觀點(diǎn)進(jìn)行批駁,從而確立自己的論點(diǎn):學(xué)生既要努力學(xué)習(xí),也應(yīng)做些家務(wù)。
2. 需要修改的地方:
①去掉not。too…to…意為“太……而不能”,表示否定,不可在to前加not。
②去掉but。同一句中,用了though就無需再用but;用了but就無需再用though。
③改為doing。此處應(yīng)該用動(dòng)名詞短語(yǔ)doing housework作句子主語(yǔ)。
3. 評(píng)分:
按中考英語(yǔ)作文滿分25分的標(biāo)準(zhǔn),本文修改前可得23分。