傾聽是一劑良藥

沒有人有耐心聽你講完自己的故事，因為每個人都有自己的話要說；沒有人喜歡聽你抱怨生活，因為每個人都有自己的苦痛；世人多半寂寞，這世界愿意傾聽、習(xí)慣沉默的人，難得幾個。我再也不想對別人提起自己的過往，那些掙扎在夢魘中的寂寞、荒蕪，還是交給時間，慢慢淡漠。——幾米

Studies have shown it takes a physician about 18 seconds to interrupt a patient after they begin talking.

It was Sunday. I had one last patient to see. I approached her room in a hurry and stood at the doorway. She was an older woman， sitting at the edge of the bed， struggling to put socks on her swollen feet. I crossed the threshold， spoke quickly to the nurse， scanned her chart noting she was in stable condition.

I leaned on the bedrail looking down at her. She asked if I could help put on her socks. Instead， I launched into a monologue that went something like this： “How are you feeling？ Your sugars and blood pressure were high but theyre better today. The nurse mentioned youre anxious to see your son whos visiting you today. Its nice to have family visits from far away. I bet you really look forward to seeing him.”

She stopped me with a stern， authoritative voice. “Sit down， doctor. This is my story， not your story.”

I was surprised and embarrassed. I sat down. I helped her with the socks. She began to tell me that her only son lived around the corner from her， but she had not seen him in five years. She believed that the stress of this contributed greatly to her health problems. After hearing her story and putting on her socks， I asked if there was anything else I could do for her. She shook her head no and smiled. All she wanted me to do was to listen.

Each story is different. Some are detailed； others are vague. Some have a beginning， middle and end. Others wander without a clear conclusion. Some are true； others are not. Yet all those things do not really matter. What matters to the storyteller is that the story is heard—without interruption， assumption or judgment.

Listening to someones story costs less than expensive diagnostic testing but is key to healing and diagnosis.

I often thought of what that woman taught me， and I reminded myself of the importance of stopping， sitting down and truly listening. And， not long after， in an unexpected twist， I became the patient， with a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis at the age of 31. Now， 20 years later， I sit all the time—in a wheelchair.

For as long as I could， I continued to see patients from my chair， but I had to resign when my hands were affected. I still teach medical students and other health care professionals， but now from the perspective of physicians and patients.

I tell them I believe in the power of listening. I tell them I know firsthand that immeasurable healing takes place within me when someone stops， sits down and listens to my story.

研究證明，醫(yī)生和病人開始交談后，醫(yī)生會在大概18秒后打斷病人的敘述。

那是一個周日，我要去見最后一位病人。我匆匆忙忙地走向她的病房，站到了門口。病人是位老婦人，此時她正坐在床沿上努力地為自己浮腫的雙腳穿上襪子。我跨進(jìn)屋，快速和護(hù)士進(jìn)行了交流，然后看了看病人的病歷表。根據(jù)表格上的記錄，她目前狀況穩(wěn)定。

我倚在床欄上低頭看著她。她問我是否可以幫她把襪子穿上，我沒有回答，而是自顧自地說起來：“你感覺怎么樣？你的血糖和血壓以前有點高，不過今天好多了。你的兒子今天要來看你，護(hù)士說你非常想見他。有家人遠(yuǎn)道來看望自己真是不錯。我相信你真的很渴望見到他?！贝蟾啪褪沁@類話。

她用一種嚴(yán)厲、命令式的口氣將我打斷：“醫(yī)生，坐下來。這是我的事兒，不是你的?！?/p>

我既驚訝又尷尬。我坐了下來，幫她穿襪子。她開始告訴我，她的獨生子就住在她家附近，但她已經(jīng)有五年沒見到他了。她認(rèn)為，這件事給她的壓力在很大程度上加重了她的病情。聽完她的故事并幫她穿上襪子后，我問她，我還能為她做些什么。她搖了搖頭表示沒有，然后笑了起來。她要讓我做的全部事情就是聽她講故事。

每個故事都是不同的。有些故事詳細(xì)，有些卻模糊；有些故事有開始、經(jīng)過和結(jié)果，有些則天馬行空，沒有明確的結(jié)論；有些故事是真實的，而有些不是。不過，這些要素都不重要。對講述者來說，真正重要的是，這個故事要有人去傾聽——沒有打斷、沒有臆斷，也沒有評價。

聽別人講故事比進(jìn)行昂貴的診斷測試成本低得多，但它卻是治療和診斷的關(guān)鍵。

我經(jīng)常在想，那個老婦人究竟讓我懂得了什么。放下自己的想法，坐下來真誠地傾聽，我提醒自己要銘記這樣做的重要性。而就在那次會面后不久，事情發(fā)生了意想不到的大扭轉(zhuǎn)——我被確診患上了多發(fā)性硬化癥，成了一名病人。那年我31歲。如今，20年過去了，我需要一直坐著——坐在輪椅里。

我曾盡自己所能，坐在輪椅上繼續(xù)給病人看病。但當(dāng)我的雙手也出現(xiàn)癥狀后，我不得不選擇退休。如今我仍然為醫(yī)科學(xué)生和其他醫(yī)療專業(yè)人員上課，但現(xiàn)在不僅僅是站在醫(yī)生的角度，還會站在病人的角度。

我跟他們說，我相信傾聽是一劑良藥。我告訴他們，我親身體會到，當(dāng)有人停下自己的事，坐下來聆聽你的故事時，那會在你的身體里產(chǎn)生無法估量的治愈力。

Word Study

approach /?'pr??t?/ v. 靠近，接近

launch /l??nt?/ v. 開始從事，發(fā)起，發(fā)動

vague /ve?g/ adj. 不清楚的，含糊的，不明確的，模糊的

assumption /?'s?mp?n/ n. 假定，假設(shè)，臆斷

resign /r?'za?n/ v. 辭職；辭去（某職務(wù)）