如何成為一個快樂的人

◇ 文 | 田 東

這世上有些人，會讓你一見傾心，再見傾情。如果這人是同性，那會是良師益友，是閨蜜，是兄弟。如果是異性，那若不是人生佳侶，也必會在紅塵中惹出一段癡纏繾綣。

這世上還有一些人，乍看面目可憎，或兇神惡煞或道貌岸然，令人心生厭惡，避之不及?？扇艚浑H久了，卻發(fā)現(xiàn)對方其實胸懷朗朗又不乏幽默，實在是居家旅行、浪跡人生的必備良友。

如果以書喻人，那么江蘇鳳凰文藝出版社最近推出的這本《佛系：如何成為一個快樂的人》，大部分的可能性，是會歸入到后者的。

Some people in this world will attract your attention the first time you meet and will develop a deep friendship with you when you meet for the second time. If this person is the same gender as you, then he or she might be your mentor or best friend. If he or she is the opposite gender, then he or she will either become your life partner or you will have a romantic and passionate love story.

There are still some people in this world who seem to be ugly-looking, gruesome,vicious, sanctimonious or so disgustful that you might try your best to avoid them.However, if you have had a long time with him or her, you will find that he or she is not only fairly broad-minded but also has a strong sense of humor. Then you will realize that he or she could be your bosom friend for your entire life.

If the book is regarded as a person, then the book, Buddha-style: How to Become a Happy Person recently published by Jiangsu Phoenix Literature and Art Publishing,LTD, belongs to the second type of person just mentioned.

說實話，對本書我一開始是抗拒的。

去年12月，“佛系”一詞開始霸占我的電腦，我的手機(jī)，我的目力所及?！胺鹣登嗄辍薄胺鹣的凶印薄胺鹣蹬印薄胺鹣底优薄胺鹣蹈改浮薄胺鹣底沸恰薄胺鹣瞪睢薄胺鹣党丝汀薄胺鹣祵W(xué)生”“佛系購物”“佛系戀愛”“佛系飲食”……三個月后，本書“登堂入室”，成為書店和亞馬遜的爆款。翻一下目錄，佛系煩惱、佛系思考、佛系情緒、佛系處世、佛系競爭、佛系人生，章節(jié)的排列怎么看怎么像是一個披著羊皮的狼，成功蹭熱點的“壞人”。再翻一下裝幀，明明可以一百多頁完事兒的書硬生生做到快300頁！段與段之間如詩歌般的巨大分行還有不時出現(xiàn)的大量留白，更是直接拉低了我對“他”的印象分。

差評！

可審查般地翻動書頁，又覺得“他”可能是一頭披著狼皮的小綿羊。

按百度百科的解釋，佛系，是指一種怎么都行、不大走心、看淡一切的活法和生活方式。而本書的副標(biāo)題“赤裸裸”地“揭露”了本心——如何成為一個快樂的人。這二者雖有交集，畢竟還是有很大的不同的。

如果說都行、可以、沒關(guān)系，是佛系青年的三件寶，那么如何成為一個快樂的人？其中的滋味，還真的不止這三種。

To be honest, I didn't appreciate this book very much at first.

Since December of last year, the word "Buddha-style"has appeared frequently and can be seen everywhere,especially on my computer and mobile phone. “Buddhastyle Youth”, “Buddha-style Men”, “Buddha-style Women”, “Buddha-style Children”, “Buddha-style Parents”, “Buddha-style Star-chaser”, “Buddha-style Life”, “Buddha-style Passengers”, “Buddha-style Students”, “Buddha-style Shopping”, “Buddha-style Love”, “Buddha-style Diet” and etc. Three months later, this book has surprisingly become major bookstores and Amazon's bestseller. After seeing its content which includes Buddha-style troubles, Buddha-style thinking,Buddha-style emotion, Buddha-style philosophy of life,Buddha-style competition, Buddha-style life and etc., I found that the arrangement of chapters is simply a wolf in sheep's clothing. In other words, this book is a “bad guy” who has successfully used the hot-spot word to catch people’s attention. There is also a problem with its binding. Obviously, this book can be finished in no more than 100 pages. However, it costs 300 pages! The line spacing between paragraphs is just as large as between poems. There is also a large amount of blank space appearing from time to time, which directly lowers my impression of “him”.

Thumbs-down!

However, turning pages with a review-like mood,I began to think that "he" might be a sheep with a wolf's skin.

According to Baidu Encyclopedia’s explanation, the Buddha-style refers to a kind of living method or lifestyle that does not give too much attention to things and does not care about everything. In other words, let them go and let them come, I don’t care. The book's subtitle directly exposes its true intention that is how to become a happy person. Although the two have intersections, they are still very different.

It is said that the mindset of that everything is fine,everything is okay and nothing matters is the three treasures of Buddha-style youth. However, to become a happy person, these three elements alone are not enough.

人生路千條，只能走一條。荊棘密布也好，金光大道也罷，如何快樂地走下去，哪怕前面惡浪滔天，泥濘遍地。這，是一個問題。泛濫的心靈雞湯告訴你，有時候我們的萬千煩惱，來自身邊的物質(zhì)世界，其實更多的時候，種種的不快樂，源自內(nèi)心。

就如本書前言一開始說的那樣——

人生中的每一天都會發(fā)生各種事，我們時常有這樣的體會：人生，就是一條艱辛的路。其實，有一種方法能夠幫助我們走出人生的迷思。

實際上，所有的煩惱都來源于“唯一的原因”只要明白這一點，再加上“正確的思考法”，那么任何煩惱都能迎刃而解。

從這個角度來說，本書更偏向于告訴你，“怎么辦”。就像有讀者評論的那樣“小說給予讀者的不僅僅是‘世界觀’，還有‘方法論’。”在我看來，首先，這不是一部小說，人物、故事、沖突什么都沒有嘛。就連散文也算不上，打個不太恰當(dāng)?shù)谋扔?，這本小書更像是文藝版的操作說明手冊，或者說像是陌生城市里的導(dǎo)航儀。導(dǎo)航儀指揮你發(fā)現(xiàn)到達(dá)彼岸的捷徑，這本書幫助你探索減少煩惱的樂途。

There are thousands of roads in life for us to choose,but we can only choose one road to go on. The road we have chosen may be full of thorns and may be broad and smooth. However, even if the front is filled with hardships and obstacles, we must continue to go on. And how to walk happily along this road is a question. The overflowing chicken soup for the soul tells you that sometimes many of our worries come from the physical world around us, but more often than not, all kinds of unhappiness come from the heart.

As stated in the beginning of this book---

Every day there will be a variety of things happened, so we often have this kind of realization: life is a difficult road.In fact, there is a way to help us out of the myth of life.

In fact, all the troubles come from “the only reason”. If you understand this, plus “the correct way of thinking,” then any trouble can be solved.

From this perspective, the book is more inclined to tell you, “What to do”. As readers have commented,“This novel gives readers not only the ‘worldview’ but also the ‘methodology’.” In my opinion, first of all, this is not a novel. There are no characters, stories or conflicts.It is also not a prose. To use a metaphor that is not quite appropriate, this book is more like a literary version of the instruction manual, or a navigator in a strange city. The navigator directs you to find the shortest way to reach the destination, and this book helps you to explore the way to reduce troubles.

人生在世，哪能沒有煩惱呢？

那樣的人生是不完整的。不完整的人生，又何談快樂？

所以，我對于“如何成為一個快樂的人”的理解是，我們要在痛苦中發(fā)現(xiàn)快樂。簡單地說，就是“苦中作樂”了。

那么，對于這個問題，小書的作者又是怎么看的，怎么說的，怎么做的呢？

小小地劇透一下吧。

稍稍劇透幾個標(biāo)題就好——“不是要拋棄煩惱，而是要‘理解’煩惱”“‘不必要的判斷’帶來痛苦”“不放縱情感，也不壓抑情感”“從他人對自己的看法中擺脫出來”“競爭中的‘第三種選擇’”“找回正確的心態(tài)”。

很多煩惱，其實都是因欲望而生的。

有讀者在“豆瓣”上這樣評論該書——為什么會有一部分人開始追求“佛系”的方式？……當(dāng)無法改變、又不得不接受的時候，退而求其次的考慮便是退出這場爭奪。

However, how can there be no trouble in life?

That kind of life is incomplete. Since it is an incomplete life, how can it be a happy one?

Therefore, my understanding of “How to be a happy person” is that we must discover happiness in pain.Simply put, it is to seek joy amidst sorrow.

Then, how does the author of this book see,understand and solve this problem?

Let me give you some spoilers.

I will only tell you a few titles, including that“It is not about abandoning the troubles, but about‘understanding’ the troubles”, “‘Unnecessary judgments’ will bring you pain”, “Do not indulge emotions, and do not suppress them”, “Do not be overly concerned with what other people think about yourself”,“The third choice in competition”, and “Get the right mindset back.”

Many troubles are actually caused by desires.

Some readers commented on the book on Douban.com---Why did some people start to pursue the “Buddhist lifestyle”? When it cannot be changed and it has to be accepted, the next best way is to withdraw from the fight.

其實，作者草薙龍瞬談得更多的，不是外在，而是內(nèi)心。不是消極的退讓，而是積極的面對。在“管理自己的欲望”一節(jié)中，他說了下面這樣的話——

例如“希望在工作中得到好評”“希望得到他人的感激”“希望得到表揚”等想法可以刺激人們的主觀能動性，所以應(yīng)該沒有什么人會拒絕這樣的欲望。因此，假如你也有想要嘗試和挑戰(zhàn)的事物，那可以大膽主動地去滿足自己的欲望。即便動機(jī)是“想要賺大錢”“想要成為人上人”或者“想在競爭中取得勝利”之類屬于“煩惱”的想法，只要這樣的目標(biāo)能給你帶來快樂，那就應(yīng)該大膽地去追求。

但是在追求的過程中有一個先決條件：“滿足欲望便能夠帶來幸?！边@件事僅限于本人感到快樂的時候，相反，假如欲望過度膨脹，變成了“焦慮”“不安”“沒有進(jìn)展”或者“努力之后也得不到認(rèn)可”之類的不滿時，我們就必須放下這樣的欲望。感到“苦”（不快樂）的時候，就是該放手的時候。

在這點上我是投贊成票的。

我們都活在紅塵俗世，那些隱入山林的賢人們畢竟是少數(shù)。我們都有欲望——沒有欲望何談生命呢——一種積極的同時又克制的生活，可以給我們更多的快樂，讓我們更接近成為一個快樂的人。

就像神魔之隔往往只在一線那樣，有時候心靈雞湯和心靈毒雞湯喝起來味道也差不多。甚至有時，同樣一句話，一段文，一本書，都會產(chǎn)生彼之蜜糖吾之砒霜的效果。如何成為一個快樂的人？終極的法寶也不在本書，而在本心。

套用佛系青年的口頭禪來做本文的結(jié)束語吧，一千個讀者心中有一千個哈姆雷特，不管你怎么評價這本小說，都行、可以、沒關(guān)系。你開心就好！

In fact, the author talks more about something that is not external, but rather internal, not a negative concession, but a positive response. In the section“Managing Your Desire”, he said the following:

For example, “hope to receive praise at work”, “hope to get others’ gratitude”, “hope to be praised” and other ideas can stimulate people's subjective initiative, so I guess that no one would reject such desires. Therefore,if you also have something you want to try and challenge,you can boldly and proactively satisfy your own desires.Even if your motives are those ideas of “trouble”, such as “to make big money,” “to be a superior” and “to win in a competition,” as long as such goals can bring you joy, then you should boldly pursue them.

However, there is a precondition in the process of pursuing: “Satisfaction of desire can bring happiness”is limited to when one feels happy. On the contrary, if desire swells too much and becomes dissatisfaction such as “anxiety”, “unrest”, “no progress” or "no recognition after hard work," we must put aside such desires. When you are unhappy, it's time to let it go.

I fairly agree with this point.

We are all living in the earthliness. After all, the sage people hidden in the mountains is a minority. We all have desires ---which are the key factors in life --- a positive and restrained life that can give us more happiness and make us closer to becoming a happy person.

Just as the boundaries between good and bad are blurred, sometimes the chicken soup for the soul and the poisonous one for the soul taste similar to each other.Sometimes the same sentence, paragraph, or book will produce very different results. How to become a happy person? The ultimate magic weapon is not in the book,but in your own heart.

Let me borrow the pet phrase of the Buddha-style youth to conclude this article. There are a thousand Hamlets in the hearts of a thousand readers. Therefore, no matter how you evaluate this novel, as long as you feel happy, it’s fine, it’s okay and it does not matter.