主人，來玩！

It must be morning； I’m hungry. I can hear the shower and feel the sun on my back， so I’m guessing the Boss is awake. I lift my head off my bed and look down the passage. I want a shower too. Sometimes I try and get in but he won’t let me. Boring. He’s not so happy in the mornings any more. He used to be， but things have changed. I think it’s stress.

Not really sure what that is， but I know it’s not good. It’s a human thing. I’ve heard him talk about it on the phone. Don’t really know what a phone is either， but I know they’re good to chew. Chewing’s one of my favourite things.

In the old days we wrestled every morning. He’d pull my ears and I’d jump on his head. Before he went to work， we’d play ball. After work too. He’d throw， I’d fetch. He’d throw， I’d fetch. What an amazing game. Such fun. He’d laugh and talk human. I’d growl.

But lately he seems grumpy.

Sometimes， I wonder if he still loves me. I lick him anyway because he’s my favourite human in the world. I get so excited to see him. When he hugs me， my tail wags all by itself. I wonder why my kisses don’t make him happy like they used to.

In the good old days， we would walk to the park every day. We’d hang out with other dogs and humans. I mostly played with Kelvin the fat Labrador and the Boss would laugh with Kelvin’s human； a female who smelled like vanilla.

We don’t walk together much these days. And when we do， he talks on the phone. I hate that phone. I’m gonna eat it when he’s not looking.

I liked it more when we lived in the first house. The little one. I loved that place. He was happier and he didn’t yell at me for getting on the couch， chewing his shoes. We used to watch TV together on the couch every night. Well， I slept， he watched. He would rest his hand on my head. I like that.

Now we live in a big house， with a big stupid couch. A stupid couch for humans only. Not dogs. I don’t like the big house or the big couch. He makes me stay down on the stupid slippery polished floor boards. The other day I slid into the table and hurt my nose. Stupid floor boards.

When I was a puppy we used to go everywhere together. We would both ride in the old station wagon and I would put my head out the window， or on his lap. It was the most fun ever. I don’t know why humans don’t do it. Head out the window， that is. Don’t they know？

No more head out the window action for me these days though. Mr. Serious has a new fancy car. Apparently， it’s a dog-free zone too. On the rare occasion that I do get a ride， I have to lie on three blankets. And no wind in my face. What’s the point of that？ Like having a bone you can’t chew. Stupid.

We used to go to the beach every weekend in that old station wagon. We surfed together. Well， he surfed， I chased seagulls， played in the waves and rolled in the sand. On the way home I would put my wet， sandy， hairy body on the front seat and he was happy I was next to him. I loved that car too. Those were the days. We haven’t done that since I was four. Five years ago.

Too busy apparently. Too busy being successful and important to have fun with me. Glad I’m not successful， it doesn’t look like much fun.

He’s rarely happy these days. And he’s always too tired to do anything， even when I pull his sleeve， or lick his face. If he got rid of the stupid slippery floor， the dumb couch， the dumb car and played with me more， then he would be happy. Me too.

I used to sleep on the end of his bed. Used to （heavy sigh）. But now he has a new dog-free bed too. Of course. It’s expensive and apparently I moult. Whatever that means. I hate that bed. I chew the legs when he’s not around.

Next year we’re moving to another house. A bigger one. Maybe that will make him happy. Hope so. Doubt it though. If I could speak， I’d tell him that too. I don’t get the big house thing； there’s only him and me. Us dogs don’t really care how big our kennel is， we just want to be near our human.

Anyway， I’m very excited about today. I’m gonna hang out with Charlie for a while. He’s my buddy from over the fence. We do fun stuff together every day. Mostly we chase birds. I hate those birds. And we chew old lady Jacobs’ laundry baskets. We’ve eaten three of them.

Then I might lie in the sun， and chew my foot for a while. I might have a power-nap too. Chasing birds makes me tired.

I reckon the Boss should lie in the sun with me， and chew his foot for a while. It’s relaxing. It might help with his stress. Whatever that is.

現(xiàn)在一定是早上；我餓了。我聽到有人洗澡的聲音，感到陽光照在我的背上，所以我猜老大已經(jīng)醒了。我把頭伸到床邊，朝走廊望去。我也想洗個澡。有時，我會想辦法進(jìn)去，但是他不會讓我這樣做的。真無趣?，F(xiàn)在的早上他不像以前那么開心了，一切都變了。我想這都是因為壓力。

其實我并不清楚壓力是什么，但是我知道那不是什么好東西。那是人類才有的東西。我曾經(jīng)聽他在電話里講過這個。我其實也不清楚電話是什么，但是我知道那很適合用來咬。咬東西是我最喜歡做的事之一。

以前，我們每天早上都會來一場摔跤比賽。他會扯扯我的耳朵，而我會跳到他的頭上去。在他上班前，我們會玩球，他下班后，我們也這么玩。他扔，我接。他扔，我接。多棒的一個游戲，多有趣。他會笑著說人類的話，而我會汪汪地叫著。

但最近，他似乎很暴躁。

有時候，我懷疑他是否還愛著我。無論如何，我都會舔他，因為他是我在這個世界上最喜歡的人類。看到他，我就很激動。當(dāng)他抱著我時，我的尾巴就會不由自主地?fù)u起來。我很疑惑為什么我的親吻不能像以前一樣讓他高興起來。

在過去那些美好的日子里，我們每天都會去公園散步。我們會和其他狗狗和人類玩。我一般會和凱爾文玩，凱爾文是一只胖胖的拉布拉多，而老大會和凱爾文的主人一起說笑，一個人類的雌性，她身上有股類似香草的味道。

如今，我們很少一起散步了。而且，在我們散步時，他都在講電話。我討厭那個電話。我要趁他不注意的時候吃了它。

我更喜歡我們住的第一所房子。那間小房子。我愛那個地方。他那時更快樂，他也不會因為我爬上沙發(fā)，或者咬他的鞋子而對我大吼大叫。我們曾經(jīng)每晚都坐在沙發(fā)上看電視。好吧，我在睡覺，看電視的是他。他會把手放在我的頭上，我喜歡那樣。

現(xiàn)在我們住在一所大房子里，里面有一張笨笨的大沙發(fā)。一張只有人類才能坐的蠢沙發(fā)，狗是不能坐的。我不喜歡這所大房子，也不喜歡這張大沙發(fā)。他讓我呆在那該死的光滑發(fā)亮的地板上。前幾天我滑倒撞到了桌子，弄傷了我的鼻子。該死的地板。

在我小的時候，無論去哪里我們都在一起。我們會一起坐著那輛老舊的旅行車，我會把頭伸出窗外，或者靠在他的大腿上。這是最好玩的事情。我不知道為什么人類不這樣做。把頭伸出窗外。難道他們不知道嗎？

但是現(xiàn)在我再也不能把頭伸出窗外了。嚴(yán)肅先生有了一輛高檔的新車。顯而易見，那也是狗不能踏足的地方。就算在極少數(shù)的情況下我可以坐進(jìn)去，我還得躺在三張?zhí)鹤由?。也沒有風(fēng)吹過我的臉。那有什么意思呢？就像得到一塊不能咬的骨頭一樣。蠢透了。

我們以前每個周末都會開著那輛老爺車去沙灘。我們一起沖浪。好吧，他沖浪，我追海鷗、玩海浪、在沙灘上翻滾?；丶业穆飞?，我那濕漉漉、毛茸茸、沾滿沙子的身體會躺在車子的前座上，而他則為我在他身邊而感到高興。我也很愛那輛車。那些日子真令人懷念。我四歲以后我們就沒這么做過了。那是五年前的事了。

他顯然是太忙了。忙著享受功成名就的人生而沒時間陪我玩。真高興我沒有功成名就，那看起來不太好玩。

他現(xiàn)在很少有快樂的時候，總是一副疲憊不堪，干不了任何事的樣子。即使我拉他的袖子，或舔他的臉也無補于事。如果他弄走那愚蠢的滑地板、愚蠢的沙發(fā)、愚蠢的車，花多點時間跟我玩，他會開心點的。我也會。

我曾經(jīng)睡在他的床尾，曾經(jīng)，唉！但現(xiàn)在他也有了一張狗不得踏足的新床。當(dāng)然，那床很貴，而我很顯然會掉毛。天知道這是什么意思。我討厭那張床。他不在時，我會咬那張床的床腳。

來年我們會搬去另一所更大的房子。也許那會讓他開心點。希望如此吧。雖然我對此感到懷疑。如果我會說話，我也會這樣告訴他。我不明白為什么要大房子。我們家只有我和他。我們狗真的不在乎我們的狗窩有多大，我們只想和我們的主人親近。

無論如何，我今天很興奮。我會和查理玩一會兒。他是我的好朋友，住在我隔壁。我們每天都會做許多有趣的事情。我們通常會追著小鳥玩。我討厭那些小鳥。我們還會咬雅各布斯老太太的洗衣籃，我們已經(jīng)咬了三個了。

然后我會躺著曬太陽，咬一會兒我的腳，也許還會睡個懶覺。追小鳥會讓我筋疲力盡。

我覺得老大應(yīng)該和我一起躺著曬太陽，咬一會兒他的腳。這能讓人身心放松。這也許對他的壓力有所幫助，無論那是什么。