聽(tīng)奶奶的話

“Granny， what does it feel like to be almost 80 years old？”

The question came up at the dinner table， in between mouthfuls of crab leg drenched in melted butter. I don’t know what it was about that particular night， but for some reason in that moment I just had to know.

I’ll never forget the look on my grandmother’s face. It was an expression that’s nearly impossible for me to put into words. It literally felt like I was watching her life flash before her eyes. After a very long pause， Granny took a breath and answered.

“It feels…impossible. If that makes sense.”

Over the course of a few seconds， our laughter-infused seafood dinner conversation had gotten pretty deep. I wanted to know more， but I had to figure out how to go about it—and fast.

Minutes later， after the crab shells had been thrown away， Granny found herself in the backyard， sitting in a chair across from my sister， Cailin and me. I held a small voice recorder in my hand， and my sister had a notebook and pen waiting patiently in her lap. The sun was sinking beneath the horizon， though the near-summer air remained warm， as I delivered my first question.

“What has been the most memorable moment of your life so far？”

“I think the birth of my sons. It’s the ultimate joy to see a new person come into the world that you helped create.”

That was an easy one. The next one would be a little more difficult.

“Do you have any regrets？”

Granny surprised me by answering， before I even finished the sentence， with an incredibly firm and quick “no.” She continued.

“I have no regrets in my life.”

Of course， I wanted to know her secret to living nearly eight decades and having no regrets.

“My secret is being true to yourself and…maybe living each day to its fullest. But I have no regrets. There’s not one thing I would do differently.”

Cailin was quickly taking notes on the bench next to me， recording every word Granny said. I asked her what advice she would give to her teenage self.

Don’t worry about the small stuff. There are so many things， just this week， that I’ve heard you girls talk about， you know， this person and that person， that in the great scheme of things don’t really matter. I think that’s what I’d tell myself. I remember crying over silly things when I was your age and I think now， how silly I was. Getting all upset over those things. I would go back and tell myself not to worry about the small stuff.

Cailin asked Granny how you can tell the difference between the small stuff and the not-so-small-stuff.

My theory now is that if it’s not life threatening， it’s no big deal. Sometimes the things you think are big things really are not. You make a mountain out of a molehill. As you go through the process of living， you’ll learn the difference between the two. You will come across major crises in your life. Nobody’s life is perfect. Life is about recognizing what is worth getting worked up over—and it’s not some silly boyfriend or something. When you’re a teenager， things like that feel like such a crisis.

She went on to tell a story of a breakup she went through straight out of high school. I asked her if it felt like the end of the world at the time.

Oh heavens， yes！ And now we both laugh about it！ That’s another thing I’d tell my teenage self—you gotta laugh every day. You have to laugh at something. Even if you have to laugh at yourself. I think that’s what keeps you going， to have a sense of humor. You can’t take life too seriously. Sometimes there are things that you just can’t do anything about， and all you can do is laugh and make the best of it.

Cailin and I thanked Granny for the interview， and the three of us headed back inside. I was ready to take on the world with an all-new outlook on life， and though the sky now completely lacked light， my heart was full.

Thanks， Granny.

“奶奶，年近八旬是怎樣一種感覺(jué)？”

這個(gè)問(wèn)題是在我們晚飯的餐桌上蹦出來(lái)的，當(dāng)時(shí)我嘴里還塞滿了蘸著溶化黃油的蟹腿肉。我不知道那一晚自己是怎么回事，反正在那一刻，我就是想知道。

我永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)忘記奶奶的表情——那是一個(gè)我?guī)缀鯚o(wú)法用言語(yǔ)來(lái)形容的表情。那感覺(jué)真的就像我看著奶奶的一生在她眼前閃過(guò)一樣。一段長(zhǎng)時(shí)間的停頓過(guò)后，奶奶吸了一口氣，做出回答。

“那感覺(jué)就像……不可能發(fā)生的事情，如果這個(gè)答案還算合理的話。”

在幾秒鐘的時(shí)間里，我們?cè)境錆M笑聲的海鮮大餐談話變得深刻起來(lái)。我希望多知道一點(diǎn)，但我必須想想如何進(jìn)行這件事——而且還要快。

幾分鐘后，蟹殼已經(jīng)被清理干凈。奶奶來(lái)到后院，坐在一張椅子上，面對(duì)著我姐姐凱琳和我。我手里拿著一個(gè)小型錄音機(jī)，姐姐大腿上放著筆記本和筆，正耐心地等待著。盡管臨近夏天的空氣依舊溫暖，太陽(yáng)卻漸漸沉入地平線。我提出了第一個(gè)問(wèn)題。

“到現(xiàn)在為止，您的人生中最難忘的一刻是什么時(shí)候？”

“我想是兒子們出生的時(shí)候?？吹阶约河蟹輨?chuàng)造的新生命來(lái)到這個(gè)世界，是我最大的快樂(lè)?！?/p>

這個(gè)問(wèn)題不難，下一個(gè)會(huì)難一點(diǎn)。

“您有遺憾嗎？”

奶奶在我還沒(méi)說(shuō)完這句話之前就異常堅(jiān)定而迅速地回答說(shuō)“沒(méi)有”，讓我頗為吃驚。她繼續(xù)說(shuō)道——

“我的人生沒(méi)有遺憾?！?/p>

我當(dāng)然想知道活了將近八十年卻毫無(wú)遺憾的奶奶究竟有什么秘訣。

“我的秘訣就是忠于自己……也許還有過(guò)好每一天。但我沒(méi)有遺憾，我不會(huì)改變?nèi)魏我患碌淖龇?。?/p>

坐在我旁邊長(zhǎng)凳上的凱琳迅速地記著筆記，記錄下奶奶說(shuō)的每一個(gè)字。我問(wèn)她有什么建議要給少年時(shí)代的自己。

不要為小事而煩惱。生活中有太多事情了。就像這個(gè)星期，我就聽(tīng)見(jiàn)你們這些女孩在談?wù)撨@個(gè)人、那個(gè)人，這些事情在大局當(dāng)中真的不重要。我想，那就是我會(huì)對(duì)自己說(shuō)的話。我記得當(dāng)我和你們一般大的時(shí)候，會(huì)為一些很無(wú)聊的事情流淚，我現(xiàn)在覺(jué)得自己那時(shí)是多么傻，為了那些事情而不開(kāi)心。我會(huì)回到過(guò)去，對(duì)自己說(shuō)不要為小事而煩惱。

凱琳問(wèn)奶奶如何區(qū)分哪些是小事，哪些不是。

我現(xiàn)在的理論是，如果它們不是威脅生命的事情，就不是什么大事。有時(shí)候，你覺(jué)得問(wèn)題很大，其實(shí)不然。你只是小題大做罷了。當(dāng)你經(jīng)歷了人生的過(guò)程，你就會(huì)懂得兩者的區(qū)別。你將遇到人生中各種重大的危機(jī)，沒(méi)有誰(shuí)的人生是完美的。人生就是一個(gè)認(rèn)清什么值得我們?nèi)?dān)憂的過(guò)程——并不是為男朋友之類的無(wú)聊事情。當(dāng)你還是青少年的時(shí)候，總以為這些是天大的事情。

接著，她說(shuō)了自己在高中一畢業(yè)就經(jīng)歷的那次分手。我問(wèn)她那時(shí)是不是覺(jué)得那是世界末日。

噢，天啊，當(dāng)然是了！可現(xiàn)在，我們兩個(gè)都笑自己很傻！那也是我要對(duì)年少時(shí)的自己說(shuō)的另一件事——每一天都要笑！你必須嘲笑一些東西，就算嘲笑的對(duì)象是自己。我想，那是讓你走下去的東西，要有幽默感。你不能把生活看得太嚴(yán)肅。有時(shí)候，一些事情你確實(shí)無(wú)能為力，你能做的就是一笑置之，盡力而為。

凱琳和我謝過(guò)奶奶接受我們的采訪，然后我們?nèi)俗呋匚葑?。我已?jīng)準(zhǔn)備好以全新的角度迎接世界的挑戰(zhàn)。雖然現(xiàn)在的天空一點(diǎn)光芒也沒(méi)有，但我的內(nèi)心很富足。

謝謝您，奶奶。

語(yǔ)法小提示

Make a mountain out of

a molehill是一個(gè)很形象的說(shuō)法，molehill 就是由鼴鼠打洞扒出的泥土堆成的鼴鼠丘，通常用來(lái)指代一些無(wú)意義的事，小困難或障礙。硬是把鼴鼠丘說(shuō)成是一座山，不就是小題大做，言過(guò)其實(shí)嗎？

形容詞詞組worked up（about） 在此處很容易被誤以為是“努力”的意思。其實(shí)，它的正確意思應(yīng)該是“激動(dòng)的，焦躁不安的”，尤其指因憂慮引起的負(fù)面情緒。例如：He gets very worked up about going to school and leaves the house crying every day.（他對(duì)上學(xué)感到很緊張，每天都哭著離家。）work （sb.） up作動(dòng)詞詞組時(shí)的其中一個(gè)意思是“使激動(dòng)，喚起”，例如：He’d worked himself up into a terrible state about the coming exam.（面對(duì)即將舉行的考試，他把自己弄得緊張極了。）