The 96-year-old Caretaker

By Yu Jiacheng

It is a chilly early autumn day in the mountainous village.72-year-old Ren Caimei sits in a wheelchair, looking far into the panoramic hills in the distance.“Caimei, a bit cold?” Another whitehaired old woman briskly fetches a coat and covers her. Then the old woman helps comb Caimei’s hair into a central parting style, the same as her own, using a water-dipped wooden comb while humming songs.

This white-haired old woman has been taking care of the paralyzed Ren Caimei for the past 28 years. Her name is Sun Yincong, the 96-year-old mother-in-law of Mei.

The Bond Between the In-laws

Sun Yincong lives in Tai’an Village,Guwei Town of Ruicheng County in Yuncheng City, Shanxi Province. She lives a simple but happy life. She’d never imagined the disasters that piled up in the latter part of her life. In the winter of 1989, Sun Yincong’s husband passed away because of an illness.Ten days right after the funeral, her 47-year-old son Gao Jianjun died of a gas leakage in his home. In an age when she was supposed to enjoy the peace of life, the 68-year-old Sun Yincong suffered from the loss of both her husband and son within two weeks of one another. The double tragedy hit her and confined her to her bed temporarily. At the same time, Ren Caimei, her daughter-in-law, also fell ill after the shock.

In such miserable days, Sun Yincong and Ren Caimei had only each other to count on. But Ren Caimei did not have the same mental fortitude as Sun Yincong. Her son and daughter in their early twenties were working far away and rarely returned home. The sudden loss of her husband struck her deeply. She repeatedly murmured,“Mom, life can’t go on. I no longer want to live.” They would then hug each other and cry.

Sun Yincong always comforted her daughter-in-law saying, “Don’t be so sad. As long as I am here, our life will not collapse.”

As time went on, Sun Yincong slowly recovered from her pain. She got back to her old routine, tidying the house and making meals. She was as deft as before. In contrast,Ren Caimei’s physical and mental conditions were getting worse day by day. One morning, Ren Caimei ran to the river with faltering steps, shouting in a trance that she was calling her husband for breakfast. She almost drowned in the river. Sun Yincong only realized then that her daughterin-law was mentally unstable.

Sun Yincong helped Ren Caimei home and began watching her closely.However, one day six months later,Ren Caimei suddenly vomited and soon became unconscious just as the two were about to sit down for lunch.

Ren Caimei was immediately sent to the hospital where the doctors diagnosed the event as a stroke.Though her life was saved, the stroke caused hemiplegia and only her wrist and lips could move. She could no longer speak a complete and clear sentence.

初秋的山風(fēng)還有些涼，72歲的任彩梅坐在輪椅上，向遠(yuǎn)處的山頭張望。“阿梅，有點(diǎn)冷吧？”另一位白發(fā)老太腳步輕快地拿來(lái)一件外套給她披上，又拿出一把蘸了清水的短木梳，邊哼著歌兒邊給她梳了一個(gè)跟自己一樣的中分發(fā)型。

28年來(lái)悉心照料半身不遂的任彩梅的白發(fā)老太，是她96歲的婆婆孫銀聰。

婆媳同病相憐

孫銀聰家住山西省運(yùn)城市芮城縣古魏鎮(zhèn)太安村，一直過(guò)著平淡卻幸福的日子。沒(méi)承想，厄運(yùn)在她的后半生接踵而至。1989年冬天，孫銀聰?shù)睦习橐虿‰x世。就在老伴兒出殯10天后，47歲的兒子高建軍在家中因煤氣中毒，不治身亡。短短半個(gè)月，68歲的孫銀聰在本該頤養(yǎng)天年的時(shí)候遭到了暴風(fēng)驟雨般的打擊，送完白發(fā)人又送黑發(fā)人的傷痛讓她一度臥病在床。此時(shí)，她的兒媳任彩梅也因?yàn)榫翊碳み^(guò)大而病倒。

同病相憐的孫銀聰和任彩梅在那些日子里始終相依相伴。可是任彩梅沒(méi)有孫銀聰堅(jiān)強(qiáng)，她一雙20歲出頭的兒女在外打工，長(zhǎng)期不在家，丈夫的驟然離世讓她陷入崩潰。她總是反復(fù)念叨：“媽?zhuān)兆舆^(guò)不下去了，我不想活了?！逼畔眰z抱頭痛哭，但孫銀聰還是不斷安慰著兒媳：“別難過(guò)，只要我在，這個(gè)家就不會(huì)垮掉。”

隨著時(shí)間的流逝，孫銀聰慢慢從傷痛中走出來(lái)，收拾屋子，燒菜做飯，手腳利落，一如往常。任彩梅的身體和精神狀況卻一日不如一日。一天早上，任彩梅腳步蹣跚、神情恍惚地往河邊跑去，說(shuō)是要叫丈夫吃早飯，險(xiǎn)些栽進(jìn)河里。孫銀聰這才意識(shí)到，兒媳可能因?yàn)楸瘋^(guò)度，精神出了問(wèn)題。

把任彩梅扶回家，孫銀聰開(kāi)始寸步不離地看著她。然而，半年后的一天，婆媳倆正準(zhǔn)備吃午飯，任彩梅突然嘔吐，很快便昏迷不醒。

任彩梅被送往醫(yī)院，確診為突發(fā)腦溢血。在醫(yī)生的搶救下，任彩梅雖然脫離了生命危險(xiǎn)，卻留下半身不遂的后遺癥，全身只有手腕和嘴唇能動(dòng)，講不出一句完整清晰的話。

“奶奶，你年紀(jì)大了，我們來(lái)照顧媽?！比尾拭烦鲈汉?，孫子打算辭去工作專(zhuān)心照顧他母親。孫銀聰思慮再三，婉拒了孩子們的請(qǐng)求：“你們都是快結(jié)婚的人了，工作也才剛起步，你媽就交給我這個(gè)老太婆了。從現(xiàn)在開(kāi)始，我跟她同吃同住，我來(lái)管著她。只要有我一口吃的，就不會(huì)讓她餓著?！睂O銀聰一錘定音，招呼著親戚把任彩梅抱到自己屋里，開(kāi)始了婆媳同住的生活。

奏響鍋碗瓢盆

生病后的任彩梅不像以前那樣大方灑脫了，看誰(shuí)都怯生生的。太陽(yáng)剛被山頭擋住一點(diǎn)兒，她就指指燈，讓婆婆早些打開(kāi)；孫銀聰?shù)胶笤赫卟藭r(shí)，任彩梅覺(jué)得屋子里沒(méi)響動(dòng)了，嘴里便發(fā)出抽泣聲，眼淚一顆顆往下掉。

為了讓兒媳感覺(jué)好一點(diǎn)兒，孫銀聰開(kāi)始刻意大聲說(shuō)話，走路時(shí)使勁兒跺地，洗菜做飯時(shí)也不忘用鍋碗瓢盆碰出聲音，她甚至在家養(yǎng)雞的腳上綁上石頭，讓雞在院里走來(lái)走去，發(fā)出聲音。

雖然家里的活兒特別多，但孫銀聰做得井井有條。她非?！爸v究”，每天要給任彩梅梳頭、洗臉、擦身，換上干凈的衣服。28年來(lái)，這些事每天重復(fù)一次。

長(zhǎng)年坐在輪椅上，任彩梅的腿和腳腫得厲害。有一次，她在電視里看到大象，便用手指指大象，又指指自己的腿，眼含愧疚地看著婆婆。孫銀聰愣了幾秒便笑了：“你是不是說(shuō)，我每天都好像在給大象穿鞋子啊？”任彩梅點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭，笑出了眼淚。

Ren Caimei’s son decided to quit his job and take care of his mother. “Grandma, you are too old to take care of others. We are her children and we should take care of Mom,” he said.

Sun Yincong thought a while then shook her head, “You are at marrying age, and you are just starting out your career.Leave your mother with this old woman. From now on, I will eat and live with her. She will be under my full charge. As long as I have something to eat, she will not be left hungry.” Thus it was decided and Sun Yincong asked her relatives to settle Ren Caimei in her own room, and the in-laws started living together.

The Chorus of Plates and Pots

Ren Caimei became a little timid and introverted after becoming ill,totally different from her previous self. She’d ask her mother-in-law to turn the light on as soon as the sun set just behind the mountain.When Sun Yincong picked up vegetables in the backyard, Ren Caimei, afraid of the dead silence in the house, started to sob, tears falling down her face.

In order to comfort her, Sun Yincong racked her brains to make a loud sound in the house.She began to speak loudly deliberately, walked in a stomping manner, and made pots and plates clink when she washed the dishes. She even tied stones to the chicken’s feet, so that when they walked around the yard they made extra noise.

Though there was plenty of housework to do, Sun Yincong was very tidy and kept everything in order. For 28 years, she repeated the same routine work for Ren Caimei: combing her hair,washing her face, bathing her body, and changing clothes.

Many years in a wheelchair had made Ren Caimei’s legs and feet swollen. One day, she saw elephants on television. She pointed to the elephant first, then at her own legs with a grateful look at her mother-in-law. Sun Yincong was bewildered for a few seconds and then chuckled.“Do you mean I seem to help an elephant wear shoes every day?”Ren Caimei nodded and laughed so hard that tears down her cheeks.

Every morning when she finished her housework, Sun Yincong would chat with Ren Caimei in the yard even though her only response was simply a few “whoo wholl” sounds. At lunchtime, Ren Caimei would pat her mother-in-law and start“ordering food.” Ren Caimei gestured a big circle with her hands to mean eating pancake,a long line for noodles, and two hands squeezing each other for dough ball soup.

When they ate, Sun Yincong fed Ren Caimei a spoonful first and then fed herself. Sometimes she even hummed some local folk songs to coax Mei to eat, treating her like a baby.

Old Twin Sisters

Burdened with unending labor day and night and with the passing of years, Sun Yincong was no longer as physically strong as she had been before. Inevitably,she suffered from toothaches,headaches, arm pains, colds,and other minor illnesses. Every time Sun Yuncong went out for injections, she would cook lunch for Ren Caimei in advance. But often when she returned at two or three in the afternoon, she’d find Ren Caimei still sitting in the yard. “Why don’t you eat on time?” Sun Yincong would demand.

每天上午，孫銀聰忙完家務(wù)，都會(huì)陪著任彩梅在院子里坐一會(huì)兒，跟她說(shuō)說(shuō)話，即使得到的回答只是簡(jiǎn)單的“嗚嗚”聲。到了午飯時(shí)分，任彩梅便會(huì)拍拍婆婆，開(kāi)始“點(diǎn)菜”。任彩梅用手比畫(huà)一個(gè)大圓圈，就是想吃烙餅；比畫(huà)一道長(zhǎng)線，就是想吃面條；兩只手相互捏捏，就是想吃面疙瘩。

吃飯時(shí)，孫銀聰拿過(guò)勺子，一邊自己吃，一邊喂她吃，時(shí)不時(shí)地哼一些哄孩子吃飯的山西民謠。

像一對(duì)老姐妹

孫銀聰?shù)哪昙o(jì)越來(lái)越大，再加上日夜操勞，她的身體也不似以前硬朗，牙疼頭疼、胳膊酸痛、傷風(fēng)感冒等小病小痛在所難免。每次孫銀聰出門(mén)打針，都會(huì)提前給任彩梅做好午飯，但往往下午兩三點(diǎn)回家時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)任彩梅還是坐在院子里。“你為什么不按時(shí)吃飯？”孫銀聰又氣又急。任彩梅焦急地比畫(huà)道：“我要等你一起吃。”

任彩梅已經(jīng)70多歲了，但在孫銀聰眼里，她就是個(gè)“老小孩”，而且年紀(jì)越大越喜歡撒嬌，離了婆婆一會(huì)兒就哼哼唧唧，孫銀聰也由著她耍賴(lài)。總有村里人打趣說(shuō)：“一個(gè)弓著腰的太婆推著一個(gè)白頭發(fā)的太婆，像一對(duì)老姐妹哩?！?/p>

雖然有孫銀聰無(wú)微不至的照顧，但任彩梅的身體還是狀況不斷，前后突發(fā)過(guò)3次腦溢血，兩年前的那次尤其嚴(yán)重。那是2015年冬天的一個(gè)深夜，孫銀聰聽(tīng)到任彩梅的床上有響動(dòng)，她起身看見(jiàn)兒媳半個(gè)身子倒在床邊，臉色煞白，神志模糊。她立刻披衣穿鞋，求人把任彩梅送到醫(yī)院。

“任彩梅年歲已高，情況很不好，你們要有心理準(zhǔn)備?！甭?tīng)到主治醫(yī)生的話，孫子孫女當(dāng)下就紅了眼睛。孫銀聰堅(jiān)定地?fù)u著頭：“不會(huì)的，我比她年紀(jì)還大，都堅(jiān)持下來(lái)了。我沒(méi)放棄過(guò)她，她也不會(huì)丟下我的。”終于，任彩梅的病情得到控制，身體漸漸恢復(fù)。從醫(yī)院回到家的那個(gè)晚上，任彩梅百感交集，她拉著婆婆的手，艱難地說(shuō)：“媽?zhuān)质悄憔攘宋摇！?/p>

2017年8月19日，是孫銀聰96周歲的生日，一大早，自發(fā)來(lái)祝壽的鄉(xiāng)親幾乎踏破了孫家小屋的門(mén)檻。像往年一樣，孫銀聰?shù)纳諞](méi)有鮮花，也沒(méi)有蛋糕，只有來(lái)客們?cè)谧约易龊枚藖?lái)的飯菜。她這個(gè)老壽星給兒媳梳好頭發(fā)，端茶遞水招待大伙兒，忙得不亦樂(lè)乎?！?/p>

（摘自《婚姻與家庭》2017年第11期）

Ren Caimei would anxiously gesture, “I wanted to wait for you so we could eat together.”

Ren Caimei is now more than 70 years old, but she is an “old child” in the eyes of Sun Yincong.She is more like a spoiled child as she gets older. She becomes unhappy when she is away from her mother-in-law for even a brief moment and Sun Yincong endures her being unreasonable.Villagers joke about them, saying,“They’re like a pair of old twin sisters, one bent, old woman pushing another white-haired one.”

Though being well taken care of, Ren Caimei’s physical condition hasn’t improved much. She’s suffered another three strokes, one of which was particularly dangerous two years ago. It had been a late winter night in 2015 when Sun Yincong heard sounds coming from Ren Caimei’s bed. She got up and saw her daughter-in-law half hanging off the bed, unconscious, and her face gone pale. Sun immediately put on her dress and asked for help to take Ren Caimei to the hospital.

In the hospital, the doctor said,“We are not optimistic about her health for she is very old. So all of you should be prepared for the worst.” Upon hearing this, the grandchildren’s eyes were filled with tears.

Only Sun Yincong shook her head and said firmly, “Believe me. I am much older than her and I am healthy enough here. I do not give up on her, so she will not leave me behind.” Finally, with treatment, Ren Caimei gradually recovered.

On the night she returned from the hospital, Ren Caimei took her mother-in-law’s hands emotionally and murmured,“Mom, you saved me again.”

August 19, 2017 marked Sun Yincong’s 96th birthday. Early in the morning, villagers crowded into her house to wish her a happy birthday. As usual, Sun Yincong’s birthday was celebrated without flowers or cakes, but instead with the home-cooked meals the villagers brought over. And the birthday girl was still busy combing the hair of her daughterin-law, serving tea for the guests,and entertaining her neighbors with a smile on her old face.◆(From Marriage and Family,November 2017. Translation:Zhang Lei)

孫銀聰和任彩梅 Sun Yincong and Ren Caimei