如何建立成功的室友關(guān)系

I know bad roommates. Last year my noisy， inconsiderate roommate constantly woke me up around three in the morning. Her side of the room was always messy and covered with clothes. Her suitcase from Christmas break didnt move from the middle of the room all second semester. She used my makeup. She ate my food.

我遇到過煩人的室友。去年，我的室友常常制造噪音，不顧及我的感受，常在凌晨三點把我吵醒。房間里她的那一側(cè)通常是亂糟糟的，衣服扔得到處都是。圣誕節(jié)假期返校后帶來的行李箱一直放在房間中央——整個第二學(xué)期就沒挪過地。她用我的化妝品，吃我的東西。

While my rooming situation left much to be desired， I know that I probably wasnt the perfect roommate either. However， my roommate and I were still able to get along together fairly well （all things considered）. There are a few basic things you can do to help start off a successful roommate relationship and some tactics to help alleviate even the worst of rooming circumstances.

我寢室的狀況差強人意，我知道作為室友我可能也并不完美。但是，我們兩人仍然能夠相處得非常好（如果所有事情都考慮在內(nèi)的話）。做到以下幾件基本的事情，將有助于建立成功的室友關(guān)系；寢室局勢惡劣至極時，有些技巧能起到緩和的作用。

Respect Each Other

相互尊重

First and foremost， you need to respect your roommate. I know， sometimes， its really hard. But when youre living in tight quarters with the same person （or people）， if you dont respect them first， they sure as well wont respect you. Your parents have hopefully been teaching you what respecting others mean since you were about four. The same rules apply in college as they did in preschool.

首先和首要的是你要尊重你的室友。我知道有時真的很難。只是你和同一個人（或同一群人）生活在局促的方寸之間，如果你不展現(xiàn)你的尊重，你也必然得不到他們的尊重。想必你的父母從你四歲就開始教你怎樣尊重別人了吧。學(xué)前班的規(guī)則同樣適用于大學(xué)。

Be Considerate. If your roommate is sleeping or attempting to sleep， keep the noise and light levels down. If your roommate is studying， dont have loud conversations in the same room. It really should be common sense， but it is truly amazing how people dont understand what it means to be considerate. If in doubt， ask yourself if you would be annoyed if your roommate did whatever it is you would like to do to you. If the answer is no， take it elsewhere.

顧及他人。如果你的室友已經(jīng)睡著或正試圖入睡，調(diào)低你的音量和光亮。如果你的室友正在學(xué)習(xí)，不要在他學(xué)習(xí)的房間內(nèi)大聲交談。這真的只是常識，可令人吃驚的是人們卻不懂得怎樣去顧及別人。如果對此有疑問，問問自己，如果你的室友對你做了同樣的事，你是否感到被攪擾。如果答案是不想被打擾，那就另尋他處吧。

Keep It Clean. Hair in the shower， toothpaste gelled to the sink， bathrooms littered with magazines or dirty clothes. Its gross. Respect means keeping your side of the room clean. Now， Ill admit， Im a rather messy person. I dont like picking up my clothes， the concept of drawers， or making my bed. But at least once a week， I pick all of my stuff up off the ground and make my side of the room clean again. Its a good habit to get into and it will make you a better roommate. And hopefully， if your roommate sees you keeping your side clean， theyll be more inclined to keep theirs clean.endprint

保持衛(wèi)生。淋浴留下的頭發(fā)，洗手池上粘的牙膏，浴室里亂扔的雜志或臟衣服，這些都讓人覺得不舒服。尊重的意思就是要保持房間里你的那一側(cè)干凈。我承認(rèn)，我不愛整潔。我不喜歡撿拾衣物，收拾抽屜，整理床鋪。但是一周至少有一次，我會把我的東西從地上撿起來，把房間里我那一側(cè)打掃干凈。這會讓你成為一個更好的室友。還有，如果你的室友看到你那一側(cè)的衛(wèi)生保持得很干凈，他們也就更有可能保持他們那一側(cè)的干凈。

Keep Your Hands Off Their Stuff. Respecting your roommate means respecting their stuff. If you really need to borrow something of theirs， always， always ask before you do. If they say no， dont get offended. Some people just dont like other people using their stuff. This goes especially for food. Its super annoying to open the fridge and see that your lunch that you planned to eat is now gone. If you eat your roommates food， it is absolutely your responsibility to replace it.

不要碰室友的東西。尊重室友意味著尊重他們的物品。如果確實需要借用，務(wù)必在用之前征求對方的意見。如果他們不愿借，那就別得罪他們了。有些人就是不喜歡別人用自己的東西，特別是食物。打開冰箱，發(fā)現(xiàn)自己計劃好的午餐不翼而飛是極度惱人的事。假如你吃了室友的食物，你有必要換一份新的。

Set Ground Rules

建立基本規(guī)則

Now that weve reviewed what it means to respect each other， you and your roommate should also establish some ground rules. Here is a list of things that you and your roommate should touch on as far as ground rules go：

我們談?wù)摿耸裁词窍嗷プ鹬兀愫褪矣芽赡芤步⒘四承┗疽?guī)則。這有一個清單，陳列了你和室友在建立基本規(guī)則時所應(yīng)涉及的事情。

Talking on the phone—Inside the room， outside the room， on the balcony， in the closet， whatever. Make a compromise， but the tie should go to the person studying.

講電話——室內(nèi)，室外，陽臺，衣柜，哪里都行。學(xué)會妥協(xié)，但是限制應(yīng)由學(xué)習(xí)的人來決定。

Smoking—This is so important. If you have a balcony， ensure if its okay for the smoker to smoke on the balcony. Be careful if you agree to smoking on the balcony or you could end up with your roommates chain smoking friends living out on your balcony. I dont think smoking is allowed in any dorm room， but make sure to set your expectations early.

吸煙——這很重要。如果你有陽臺，確定是否可以在陽臺上吸煙。注意，如果你同意陽臺可以吸煙，那么可能最終你室友的一幫煙友都有可能在你的陽臺上安營扎寨。我認(rèn)為任何一間寢室都不應(yīng)準(zhǔn)許吸煙，因而確保及早提出你的期望。

Cleaning—Discuss duties for cleaning and whose job it is to do what. Dividing responsibilities of cleaning will make keeping your room cleaner and it will help ease roommate tensions if you both pitch in. Taking out the trash， tidying the room， buying toilet paper， and washing the sink are just a few things to consider.

打掃衛(wèi)生——商議打掃衛(wèi)生的職責(zé)，明確各自負(fù)責(zé)的事項。劃分清潔責(zé)任會讓房間更整潔，如果雙方都參與，緊張關(guān)系也會得到緩和。扔垃圾，打掃房間，購買廁紙，清洗洗手池，這些都是需要考慮的事情。

When All Else Fails

如果所有都不奏效

Sometimes， no matter how much you do， your roommate will still drive you crazy. When respecting， cleaning， and ground rules dont get you where you want in your rooming situation， all is not lost， even if it seems like it. Theres still a certain amount of damage control that you can do.endprint

有時，不管你付出了多少，室友仍然讓你抓狂。當(dāng)尊重、整潔和基本規(guī)則都無法讓你得到你想要的寢室狀況，看起來好像所有的方法都不管用時，即便如此，仍有一些控制破壞的措施你可以采用。

Deal with it. There are just some things that you are going to have to get used to when living with another person. Sometimes， you just need to suck it up and deal with it. For the most part， the things that annoy you are minor things that you can put up with for just one year. If you have trouble keeping your annoyances under control， remember this quote from Robert Anton Wilson： You are precisely as big as what you love and precisely as small as what you allow to annoy you.

忍耐。和別人同住，總有些事情要適應(yīng)。有時你需要接受、忍耐。大多數(shù)情況下，煩擾你的都是你可以忍受一年的小事情。如果你控制不住你的煩躁，記住羅伯特·安東·威爾遜的這句話：你所愛之物有多大，你就有多大；你所煩之事有多小，你就有多小。

Talk to your roommate. Sit down and have a conversation with your roommate about the key things that really irritate you about the situation. Maybe he snores. Maybe he keeps the TV on while you do homework. Whatever it is， dont yell and dont accuse. Be calm and friendly and simply explain your situation. Focus on the big aspects. If you start nitpicking or start getting mean， the situation will get out of control， nothing will get solved， and youll both be angry. Also， if youre going to talk to your roommate about issues you have with them， you need to be able to take the issues that they might have with you. Be flexible and willing to compromise.

和室友談?wù)?。雙方坐下來，針對現(xiàn)狀中激怒你的關(guān)鍵問題交流一下。可能他打呼嚕，可能他在你做作業(yè)的時候看電視。不管是什么，不要大吵，不要指責(zé)。鎮(zhèn)定點，友好簡潔地闡述你的想法。從大處著眼。如果你一開始就吹毛求疵，小里小氣，局面將會失控，什么也解決不了，彼此都會感到不快。此外，如果你打算和你的室友談?wù)勊膯栴}，你要能夠應(yīng)對他提出的有關(guān)于你的問題。處理問題要隨機應(yīng)變，愿意妥協(xié)。

Talk to your RA. Do not do this before you talk to your roommate. Going above your roommates head is inconsiderate. You are big boys and girls now. You can work your problems out by yourselves. However， if youve talked to your roommate and something is still really causing a big disagreement between you and you roommate， you might need to get an outside party involved. If the situation really is irreconcilable， there is usually a process that will transfer you to a different room with a different roommate.

告訴輔導(dǎo)員。在和室友溝通之前，不要走這一步。越過室友是不體諒的行為。你現(xiàn)在長大了，你可以獨力解決自己的問題。如果你和室友溝通之后，兩人之間的分歧依然很大，這時你需要第三方的介入。如果局面不可調(diào)和，通常的處理方法是：你換到另外一間寢室，擁有新的室友。

Get out of your room. This is probably the simplest of all solutions. When your roommate is in your room and doing something irritating， just leave the room. Go to the library or a campus computer lab if you need to study. Go to a friends room if you just need somewhere else to escape. Getting out of your room is good for you anyways， and some time away from your roommate will help keep tensions from getting too high.

走出房間。或許這是所有方案中最簡單的一種。如果你的室友正在房間里做什么讓你生氣的事情，那就離開房間。需要學(xué)習(xí)，就去圖書館或計算機房。只是需要找個地方躲避，就去朋友的房間。離開房間無論如何對你都是好的，并且有些時候遠(yuǎn)離室友將有助于避免你們之間的緊張升級。

Word Study

constantly /'k?nst?ntli/ adv. 一直地；反復(fù)不斷地

He talked constantly about his work.

alleviate /?'li?vie?t/ v. 減輕；緩和

Nowadays， a great deal can be done to alleviate back pain.

offend /?'fend/ v. 得罪；冒犯

Theyll be offended if you dont go to their wedding.

compromise /'k?mpr?ma?z/ n. 妥協(xié)；互讓

In any relationship， you have to make compromises.

tension /'ten??n/ n. （情緒上的）緊張；煩躁

We laughed and that helped ease the tensions.

flexible /fleks?b?l/ adj. 靈活的；可變動的

We can be flexible about your starting date.endprint